Past in Rear View Mirror

Nothing behind you can stop you

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

April 16, 2018

Yesterday we were driving to Melbourne so that I could film the motorcycle escort for the Vietnam Memorial Wall. My husband was driving, and as I looked into the rear view mirror, it seemed really odd that no one was behind us. There really wasn't many people ahead of us either, which is really strange. Anyway, I had the camera in my lap, so, naturally, I snapped away.

I thought about how there is nothing stopping us from where we want to go other than what we limits we make. Sure, we may not have enough money to do what we want now, but there was a time when we thought we couldn't even buy a house, and now, we're in our second one. 

There were a lot of times when stuff seemed hopeless, but we were not willing to settle where we were. Hope is what keeps us moving and improving.

Getting where you want to be, may take a little longer than you want it to, but if you don't give up, then you'll get there.

I wanted to be a writer. Actually growing up, I wanted to write horror books. I never thought I'd be writing about real horrors veterans live with for the last 3 plus decades, but it is the way it turned out to be.

I'm doing what I always wanted to do. The past got me to where I am but I decide where I go from here.

So do you! Everything in our lives gets us to where we are at this very moment. The bad stuff, as well as the good, were on the road we drove on.

The road ahead is filled with the same too but the journey is full of possibilities for better than now. You already know what is behind you. If you keep looking back, you may miss what is coming. 

Stop looking back because you are not there anymore. You survived whatever smacked PTSD into you. Like a car accident, you probably didn't see it coming at you. No one stays where it happened. They get help, move on and take care of whatever they need to do. You can do the same! That thing is over, but the leftover is only in control if you let it be.

Maybe you always wanted to be in the military and now you are not. What else can you do with your life to help other people? Think about it. I may not be making a living doing it, but you can do it in your spare time. I do this after work and weekends. It makes me happier during the week when I have to do something else.

Maybe you had other dreams. Things that were important to you? Then do them! Do what you enjoy and stop spending so much time feeling miserable. I don't know who told you that this is the best you get, but that is not the truth. 

This is what you accept it to be instead of what you expected it to become.

How about taking that tiny step of doing something looking forward and see where it takes you. All you have to lose is what has been keeping you trapped.