guide to take back our life

June 26, 2021

The new site for PTSD Patrol is up and running. New blog posts will begin there on June 27, 2021. This site will remain up.

why I always do the videos from my garage

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 23, 2021

(This is for the new PTSD Patrol site to explain things the new readers may not know. If you already know all this, then please just enjoy The Beatles video)

My name is Kathie Costos. For decades I was known as Namguardianangel. I couldn't afford the website anymore, so I had to let it go. In 2007 I started Wounded Times and in 2017 PTSD Patrol began as a way to change the conversation from doom and gloom to hope and healing.

You may wonder why I always do the videos from my garage. That is because that is where my vehicle rests. We know so much more about the vehicles we drive, than the one we live in. This is a way to explain it.

(Today's video is a long one to explain it to people who discover this on the new site. You may learn something too.)

The only thing I didn't cover in the video was why I use music. It changes our moods. It puts words to what we feel but cannot communicate. The other reason is, it reminds us that other people felt the same way too or they wouldn't have been able to write the lyrics. Another reason is, I never drive without the radio on!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

HELP

The Beatles

(Help!) I need somebody

(Help!) Not just anybody

(Help!) You know I need someone

(Help!)

When I was younger so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured

Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways

My independence seems to vanish in the haze

But every now and then I feel so insecure

I know that I just need you like I've never done before

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me?

When I was younger, so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured

Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me?

Help me? Help me? Ooh

Genius.com

Love helped Orlando heal after Pulse stopped

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 12, 2021

Five years ago, a man so filled with hate, decided to murder 49 people and wound 53 more. He did not know them. He did not know who they were, what they did or anything other than the fact he hated them so much, he decided to slaughter them.

The survivors acted out of love for the people they were with and for total strangers. They helped one and other escape to a place where they could hide, if they could not get out of the building. Some of those killed, died saving someone else.

People who were not there, decided to respond out of love to do what they could to help. They rushed with their cars and trucks to take the wounded to hospitals. Police Officers and SWAT teams showed up, putting their own lives in danger to stop the man from killing more.

When it was over, when the sun came up, officers were walking around where the dead still laid on the floor with their cell phone ringing. The officers would be forever haunted by the sounds of someone trying to reach someone they loved to see if they were still alive...or not.

People in the area, joined together to donate blood. Thousands of people did whatever they could to help, not knowing if they were risking their own lives, because no one knew if there would be more people so filled with hate, they were ready to kill too. Strangers showed up to give people in line food and something to drink as they stood in the heat patiently waiting their turn to do whatever they could.

Money came in from all over the world to help the families bury the people they loved and to help the survivors with their medical expenses, lost wages and every other price they paid because they were targetted by hatred.

Crisis Intervention teams showed up for the families of those who died, for the survivors and for the responders. Mental Health professionals lined up to provide free trauma care.

Love won that day, as it usually does. When one person, or a few, decide to act out of hate, millions respond with love.

Introduction to the Sermon on the Mount

5 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him,

2 and he began to teach them.
The Beatitudes

He said:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

That is a list of people who are blessed. None of it is easy but all of it is based on love.

Salt and Light
13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.
15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

When people pretend they are doing something in the Name of God, or in the Name of Jesus, this is how you know if they are telling the truth or not.

Love for Enemies
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

This can be especially hard, but consider what Jesus was facing, knowing He would be put to death for the sake of those He Loved, and yet He preached all about Love. It is more powerful than anything else there is.

Today the featured video has no lyrics. It only has names of the people murdered 5 years ago at the Pulse Nightclub. One man decided to murder them, but thousands responded with love!

Five First Responders to the Pulse Massacre. One Diagnosis: PTSD.

by Abe Aboraya, WMFE June 11, 2018

Pulse was one of the nation’s largest mass shootings, where 49 people died and at least 53 others were wounded. The invisible injuries to first responders represent another toll of the catastrophe.

For these five first responders — and many others — June 12 was the first day of their new lives, one in which they would confront post-traumatic stress disorder. Even though most had responded to gruesome scenes of murder, suicide and car accidents, that didn’t prepare them for the psychological injury of PTSD. Going forward, they would relive that day in flashbacks and nightmares, see danger behind every closed door, and become irritable and impatient with spouses and coworkers.

“There are just some events that are so horrific that no human being should be able to just process that and put it away,” said Deborah Beidel, a University of Central Florida professor who runs a clinic called UCF Restores that treats first responders with PTSD. read more here

And that is what happens when people who risk their lives to respond to what hatred does. But love helps them heal too!
I interviewd Dr. Beidel a few years ago.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD

Don't miss "the miracle of the moment"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 11, 2021

Why is it that we want to change what has already been done, unsay what has already been said and change the path we chose to take, only to discover it was a huge mistake? We can't change a damn thing that happened up do a second ago. Still none of us have to settle for what came from all we got wrong because we can change this second onward. That is the "miracle of the moment. Today's featured video is Steven Curtis Chapman, This Moment.

Yes, you can change and you have the power to do it. Do you feel bad about something you said? Then apologize and say something better. Give the person you said it to a chance to accept your apology but, understand that it has already been said. It may take time to rebuild whatever relationship you had with them. At the very least, if they do not forgive you, you opened the door to begin to forgive yourself for just being a human who was wrong.

Sure it sucks to be wrong but it sucks more to stay wrong. Change now by learning from your past because that is all it is good for.

Part of having PTSD is being on guard. Hearing more than someone actually said, and taking it as a personal attack against you, or overblowing everything, causes a rift that could destroy a relationship. When you understand that, then you can think about how you react in the furture, but it does not change what has already been done. Only you can do that by making new memories for them, and yourself to overpower the bad memories you have. You can start this moment to make a miracle for your future.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

This Moment

Steven Curtis Chapman

It's time for letting go

All of our if only's

'Cause we don't have a time machine

And even if we did

Would we really want to use it

Would we really want to go change everything

'Cause we are who and where

And what we are for now

And this is the only moment

We can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

There's only one who knows

What's really out there waiting

In all the moments yet to be

And all we need to know

Is he's out there waiting

To Him the future's history

And He has given us

A treasure called right now

And this is the only moment

We can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears

Then taste them as they fall

And let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter

Then throw your head back

And let it go, let it go, yeah

You gotta let it go

And listen to your heartbeat, yeah

Breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

Breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Matthew Bronleewe / Steven Curtis Chapman

Miracle of the Moment lyrics © BMG Rights Management 

why should you join a support group

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 8, 2021

Today I posted about how Wounded Times (my other site) reached over 5 million page views. I wrote that All that work was worth it because it was but for a long time, I didn't feel that way. I was getting less and less comments, hardly no feedback, and I started to think that it just didn't matter anymore. It hurt.

Now I know better but believe it or not, that is one of the reasons why you should join a support group. I know it sounds like a strange leap, but hear me out.

It was lonely and it got harder to find a reason to keep doing something that was healing for me. Knowing I was making a difference, was like a gift I gave myself. When you have PTSD and are doing the work alone, it is great but there comes a time when you need the positive feedback from others. Face it! We all have an ego. Feed your ego!

Think about it this way. If you were really overweight and put in a lot of work to lose it, but moved to a new town where no one knew you, they wouldn't know what you did or how hard you worked at it. Yet, if you went back to where people knew you, they would let you know how proud they were of you, congratulate you on it, and yes, feed your ego. It is like a gift you give yourself.

Being in a support group, gives you that positive feedback, support and inspires you to keep doing the work of healing. When you are healed, you can give that to others too, because you know what it was like when you did it, just as much as you remember what it was like to do it alone. That is a gift you give to others, but also, a gift you give to yourself.

On a personal note, I want to thank the people who stuck with me on Wounded Times, even if I don't know who you are. I am also grateful for the people passing on the work for PTSD Patrol. Reaching over 100,000 page views was because of you being willing to do that.
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Make Your Own Kind of Music

The Mamas and the Papas

Nobody can tell you

There's only one song worth singing

They may try and sell you

Cause it hangs them up

To see someone like you

But you gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own special song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

You're gonna be nowhere

The loneliest kind of lonely

It may be rough going

Just to do your thing is the hardest thing to do

But you gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own special song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

So if you cannot take my hand

And if you must be going, I will understand

You gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own special song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

You gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own kind of song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

You gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own kind of song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

No no no no

Even if nobody else sings along

If nobody else sings along

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Barry Mann / Cynthia Weil

Make Your Own Kind of Music lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

"Live your truth and know you're not alone"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 7, 2021

A while ago I heard from an old friend. She had been on a bowling team and was really good. Whenever we went, she said I was comedy relief because I was so bad at it. Some of the members of her team started to get political. They were saying things that was horrible. She felt more and more uncomfortable whenever they got together because she was so shocked they felt the way they did. She walked away.

She stopped doing a lot of other things. She went to work and then went home. That was all she did. Someone suggested to her that since there were a few other members of the team who walked away, she should contact them so they could go bowling again and just have fun. It was easy to assume they felt the same way she did. She was right. They started to go bowling and out to eat once a week. They were having so much fun, and few members of the old group wanted to join them.

The new little group didn't want them. The others had already said what they did and expressed how they felt, so trust was gone. They forgave them, but they didn't want to constantly be questioning the others, wondering what they thought and ending up feeling uncomfortable around them all over again. They decided to just be true to themselves.

When you have PTSD, people saying horrible things comes with it. You can forgive them, try to explain it to them and hope they change, but all too often, the trust is gone and what they said echos in your mind. Forgive them and walk away. Let them find people who think the same way they do and you do the same, because you'll be a lot happier.

Today's featured video is Sarah McLachlan, In Your Shoes. Be true to yourself and surround yourself with people who will accept you as you are. I know what it is like because for years I had to keep my mouth shut when others said terrible things around me. I knew if I said what I thought, they'd hate me and I was a right. When I finally freed myself from them, they attacked me for speaking my mind. I kept my mind and lost them from my life. It was liberating! I am a lot happier now.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

In Your Shoes

Sarah McLachlan

You turn the radio on play your favorite song and cry... cry

You let it all disappear push back the doubt and fear they try... try

To hold your head under the waves but you're breathing all the same

You are stronger than their hate

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Leave it all behind and move on you are your own woman

You never asked for trouble but you've got fire that burns so bright... bright

You turn and face the struggle when all the others turn and hide... hide

You hold your head above the waves above the war they try to wage

You are stronger than their hate

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Leave it all behind and move on 'cause you are your own woman

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Leave it all behind and move on you are your own woman move on yeah

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Say what's on your mind with pride 'cause you are your own woman

You've got a light that always guides you

You speak of hope and change as something good

Live your truth and know you're not alone

You turn the radio on play your favorite song and sing out so loud

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Sarah Ann Mclachlan / Pierre Marchand / Luke Doucet

In Your Shoes lyrics © Tyde Music, Southern Music Pub. Co. Canada Ltd. 

What else can I be but what I am

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 6, 2021

Ever since I posted the video yesterday from Sly And The Family Stone, I've been thinking about a song my parents used to play. Sammie Davis Jr. I Got To Be Me. There was a line in it I didn't remember, "That far away prize, a world of success."

Did you know that you may measure success your own way, for yourself, as you see what it is for you? Do you measure it by what money you make or things you buy? Do you measure it by how popular you are? Or do you measure it by what you do for others, how much you love and care about others?

Who are you to you?

I measure success by doing what I can do with what I have to do it with. Not interested in fitting into what others think I should be or do what others think I should do. I am just "me" and happy that way. I know my qualities, as well as I know my flaws. I worked on the ones I could actually do something about, like my temper, but I learned to accept things I cannot change, like the fact I am a total klutz!

Don't try to go against who you are because that will make you miserable. Don't try to change to fit in, but try to fit in with people who accept you as you are and value you.  My husband and I have been married as long as we have been because we accept each other. I get over his flaws and he gets over mine, because the qualities outweigh the flaws.

Success, when you are on the journey to healing PTSD, is taking "you" all of you with you. Your flaws, that are ones you can change, can be worked on. Your flaws that make you just human, should be understood and accepted. Healing is the "prize" you should reach for and all else will follow that path.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I've Gotta Be Me

Sammy Davis Jr.

Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong

Whether I find a place in this world or never belong

I gotta be me, I've gotta be me

What else can I be but what I am

I want to live, not merely survive

And I won't give up this dream

Of life that keeps me alive 

I gotta be me, I gotta be me

The dream that I see makes me what I am

That far away prize, a world of success

Is waiting for me if I heed the call 

I won't settle down, won't settle for less

As long as there's a chance that I can have it all

I'll go it alone, that's how it must be

I can't be right for somebody else

If I'm not right for me

I gotta be free, I've gotta be free

Daring to try, to do it or die

I've gotta be me

I'll go it alone, that's how it must be

I can't be right for somebody else

If I'm not right for me 

I gotta be free, I just gotta be free

Daring to try, to do it or die 

I gotta be me

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Walter Marks

I've Gotta Be Me lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Sammy Davis Jr - I've Gotta Be Me (Live in Germany 1985)

Healing to me be myself again

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 5, 2021

Keeping with the theme of the last few days, it is a good time to talk about being thankful. Today's featured video is Sly And The Family Stone, Thank You.

If you only focus on what was done to you that caused PTSD, that is all you'll see and it will contribute to feeling miserable. It is better to focus on what was done for you and then you end up healing, being happier and the people around you will be happier too.

I am thankful for God and for all the people who came to help me after each time something horrible happened. Right now, I am also thankful for the therapist I had many years ago for being myself again.

I knew I needed help because I was walking around feeling angry most of the time and frustrated. That isn't me. While I do have a temper, I am a typical Greek on that one. It takes a lot to get me angry, I explode and then I want to hug. It was always over and done with.

That is how I knew this was not "me" so I asked my primary care physician to recommend someone I could see. I called a few of them but when I asked if they knew about PTSD, the first few did not. Then I ended up with a woman who was an expert at the time. She was a family therapist. I told her that I was not interested in saving my marriage. I was more interested in not killing my husband. She laughed and I knew she knew exactly what I was talking about.

Little by little I started to feel the angry leave and I felt more like myself again. We talked about my husband and the work I did, all the people I was helping, but I didn't focus on me. I wish I had and then maybe she would have seen I had PTSD too. It was because of my ex-husband but I didn't have time to focus on that or what he put me though.

Anyway, in between appointments, she wanted me to write about what I needed to say. At first it was a page, then a couple, then more, until one appointment I handed her 35 pages. She took it and said, "Well obviously I'm not reading this right now."

During the next appointment, she handed it back to me and told me I needed to turn it into a book. I did and that was For The Love Of Jack. She really helped me be myself again.

If you focus on you, and get the help you need to heal, then you'll be thankful too for being yourself again. The people in your life will be happier too!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Thank You

Sly And The Family Stone

Lookin' at the devil, grinnin' at his gun

Fingers start shakin', I begin to run

Bullets start chasin', I begin to stop

We begin to wrestle I was on the top

I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself again

Thank you for lettin' me be myself again

Stiff all in the collar, fluffy in the face

Chit chat chatter tryin', stuffy in the place

Thank you for the party but I could never stay

Many things on my mind, words in the way

I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself again

Thank you for lettin' me be myself again

Dance to the music

All night long

Everyday people

Sing a simple song

Mama's so happy

Mama start to cry

Papa still singin'

You can make it if you try

I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself again (oh yeah)

Thank you for lettin' me be myself again

Flamin' eyes of people fear, burnin' into you

Many men are missin' much, hatin' what they do

Youth and truth are makin' love

Dig it for a starter

Dyin' young is hard to take

Sellin' out is harder

Thank you for lettin' me be myself again

I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself again

Thank you for lettin' me be myself again

Thank you for lettin' me be myself again

I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself again

I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself again

I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself again

I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself again

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Sylvester Stewart

Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) lyrics © Mijac Music 

God is closer than you think

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 3, 2021

This is going up on Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol. Wounded Times is close to hitting 5 million page views. It still gets a lot of traffic no matter if I post on it or not. That tells me that the need is still there. I am retiring from work, but not this work. I am no longer under constraints from non-profits and their rules, so from now on, I will be posting on what I feel needs to be said. Some people will like it, but others won't. While I hope you like it, if you don't, there are plenty of other sites for you. From now on, I'll be posting on both sites, as I feel the need to say something and as always, I hope what I say helps someone.

There are many times we have conversations with someone, and we never forget them. Every once in a while I'll read something or listen to someone, and instantly be reminded of "that" conversation. Today was one of those days.

Years ago I was confronted by an angry veteran. I was at an event, enjoying the music, when he came over to me, glaring at the Chaplain patch on my vest. Pure hatred shot out of his eyes. Once he started to speak it was easy to figure out he had way too much to drink. To this day, I am not sure why I had so much patience with him instead of telling him to go away.

He wanted to know why I was wasting my time on something that didn't exist. Yes, he meant that in his mind, God wasn't real. Like a lot of veterans who had seen way too much horror in the world, he said, "If there was a God, He wouldn't let all that happen. He wouldn't just sit back, let us destroy each other." At one point the thing that haunted him the most popped out. "Little kids starving and getting blown up while that so called God sits back and watches!"

I asked him why he joined the military. He said to serve his country. I asked him if he loved the country or hated it. Naturally he got ticked off then snapped, "I love it." I asked him if he still did and he said he did. I asked him why he still loved it. He responded with, "Because of what this country tries to be. They sent us to defend the people of Kuwait. We did."

I asked him if that was a good reason or a bad one. He said it was a good one.

When people see so much evil, it is hard to understand how a loving God could allow all of it to happen. They forget that He allows freewill from all humans, to make their own choices, to listen to what He says or not, to believe in Him or not and to follow where He leads, or walk away.

We also miss the fact that if they can still care, then God was there all along. It is easy to not be bothered by something if you do not have the heart to feel anything. It is not easy if your soul is being crushed by it. The very fact that veteran still cared about total strangers proved that. God was closer than he thought.

He was inside his soul. Goodness does not come out of evil. Caring about others does not come out of evil.

When we talked a little longer, I tried to get him to understand that. Over and over again he came back with blaming God. I told him that God was there, because people like him risked their lives to save others and would have dropped their weapons if the enemy dropped theirs. I told him that God was there because he was. He cried and walked away. I decided to not try to follow him because I knew he was drinking too much and I never saw him again.

When all you see is evil, that is all you think is there, but when you change what you focus on, you are able to see so much more. I remember the terrible things that happened to me, but I remember those who came to help me more. I remember feeling lost and alone, but I remember what it felt like when I was "found" and knew I wasn't alone in this world. So instead of only seeing what evil thing someone did to me, I focused on what others did for me because God was there.

Today the featured video is Bette Midler, From A Distance. God is watching us, but not from a distance. He lives in all of us and has an active part in all of our lives. When we listen, miracles happen.

If you have PTSD, I am always talking about taking care of your mind, body and spirit...your soul. I hope this fed your soul so that the next time God is trying to get through to you, you will listen.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

From a Distance

Bette Midler

From a distance the world looks blue and green

And the snow capped mountains white

From a distance the ocean meets the stream

And the eagle takes to flight

From a distance

There is harmony

And it echoes through the land

It's the voice of hope

It's the voice of peace

It's the voice of every man

From a distance

We all have enough

And no one is in need

And there are no guns, no bombs and no disease

No hungry mouths to feed

From a distance

We are instruments

Marching in a common band

Playing songs of hope

Playing songs of peace

They are the songs of every man

God is watching us

God is watching us

God is watching us

From a distance

From a distance

You look like my friend

Even though we are at war

From a distance

I just cannot comprehend

What all this fightings for

From a distance

There is harmony

And it echoes through the land

And it's the hope of hopes

It's the love of loves

It's the heart of every man

It's the hope of hopes

It's the love of loves

This is the song for every man

God is watching us

God is watching us

God is watching us

From a distance

Oh, God is watching us

God is watching

God is watching us

From a distance

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Julie Gold

From a Distance lyrics © Wing And Wheel Music, Julie Gold Music

Everytime you stand by someone else, do something for someone else out of love...God is there!
Northwell Health Nurse Choir: Gets the GOLDEN BUZZER with their EMOTIONAL Performance!

make good times even better

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 2, 2021

Happiness sneaks up on you! All of a sudden, all the things you used to enjoy seem even better than before. "Good times never seemed so good!"

That is what it is like when you come out of the darkest hell and heal PTSD. No longer trapped by misery, doubt, paranoia, feeling as if you have something to hide and realize that life can be better than before. Maybe it is because even though you wouldn't admit it, you missed feeling happy, being with friends, doing fun things and yes, smiling without feeling as if you had to force it.

You end up with strange reactions to things you thought you'd never care about again. When we lived in Florida, there were some spatular sunrises and sunsets. Once in a while my husband would go out to the pool deck and scream my name. I'd go running to him and he'd be pointing up at the sky, with the amazed look of a child seeing it for the first time.

Right now, for me, I feel like a kid when I get to do something as simple as get my hair cut, hug people again and see smiling faces.

The entire world got a lesson on what trauma is by living through their own trauma and it was different for everyone. Some people lost all they owned, others lost everyone they loved. Some people were forced to work from home, others lost their jobs. That is what the darkness of PTSD is like. 

When more people go vaccinated, like us, things started to look more hopeful. People started to do the right thing. Instead of just complaining about what they couldn't do, more and more people decided they could do their part so they would be able to do what they wanted to do safely. We've seen the numbers go down on the sickness and death counts, just as we've seen the numbers go up on the vaccinated side.

That is what healing is! It is what it is like to heal PTSD too. You can make good times even better because now you know what you missed. You won't take it for granted anymore and when it sneaks up on you, you get back hope of more good times and good feelings.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Sweet Caroline

Neil Diamond

Where it began, I can't begin to knowing

But then I know it's growing strong

Was in the spring

And spring became the summer

Who'd have believed you'd come along

Hands, touching hands

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

But now I

Look at the night and it don't seem so lonely

We filled it up with only two

And when I hurt

Hurting runs off my shoulders

How can I hurt when holding you

One, touching one

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

Oh no, no

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Sweet Caroline

I believe they never could

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Neil Diamond

Sweet Caroline lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, DistroKid 

"And since I lost you, it feels like years"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 1, 2021

Relationships are hard under any circumstances. Different personalities, thoughts, needs and wants. They require a lot of work. It is hard to stay and can be hard to leave. If you cared about someone, but felt you had to cut them out of your life, it is hard. What makes it worse is, when you discover you were wrong. Being in a relationship with someone with PTSD is hard. It is damn near impossible when they refuse to get help. It is hell when neither of you know what it is!

A lot of people have spilt up with someone they cared about because there was no hope of restoring a normal relationship, or a functioning one. I've talked to a lot of people over the years who were beating themselves up for ending the relationship...most of the time, their marriages. When they realized they were dealing with PTSD in the one they ended up cutting out of their lives, they try to reconnect. 

It has happened, and there were a lot of happy endings with relationships restored, even if they were different. Sometimes there were other marriages that followed, but at least they were talking. That is a great thing if the couple had kids. Sometimes the couple decided to get re-married because love was still there.

Sometimes it is too late for any of it and regrets cannot be fixed. They can only be forgiven. If you didn't know what PTSD was, and tried to get back in touch with someone, forgive yourself. Understand that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Then learn all you can about it to give you the tools to do that. Knowing the cause and what it does will help you understand them, and why you reacted the way you did.

If you are the one with PTSD and you ended the relationship because you didn't understand it, take the time to understand all you can about it now so that you'll understand why they treated you the way they did, as well as why you treated them the way you did. If they won't talk to you, forgive them and yourself.

Today the featured song is The Beatles, You Won't See Me.

You Won’t See Me

The Beatles

While it may be too late to see them...it is never too late to forgive them or yourself.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

When I call you up

Your line's engaged

I have had enough

So act your age

We have lost the time

That was so hard to find

And I will lose my mind

If you want see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

I don't know why you (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

Should want to hide (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I can't get through (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

My hands are tied (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I won't want to stay (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I don't have much to say (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I'd get turned away (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

And you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you want see me

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Yeah!

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Mccartney / John Lennon

You Won’t See Me lyrics © Sony/atv Tunes Llc 

Thank Vietnam Veterans for healing #PTSD

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 30, 2021

Every Memorial Day, I cry more than most people. Almost everyone thinks about the lives lost during wars, but few think about all those who died because of the wars they fought. It also grieves me that most Americans fighting their own battles with PTSD, have no clue that the help they receive, was created because Vietnam Veterans came home and fought for all of it.

While I got involved almost forty years ago, the Afghanistan and Iraq veterans ended up getting all the attention because their generation was coming home, suffering, and committing suicide. The problem was, the majority of the veteran suicides known, were mostly over the age of fifty. In other words, pre-9 11 veterans, but few seemed to care.

In 2015 I did a video with Mike and the Mechanics song The Living Years. Vietnam Veterans Remembered was to let them know that someone was paying attention to what was still happening to them.

When I lived in Florida, I always recorded the escort of the Wall going into Wickham Park. I used that footage along with images from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan because of the lyrics of the song. Too many forget that war they fought and too many do not know they are still fighting it.

"So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past"

No Vietnam veteran wants to take away from the newer generations. They took a vow to fight for all generations. The thing is, they don't want to be pushed aside. It should never be one generation being helped while sacrificing the other generations.

Once in a while I go back through some old emails. This is from 2006 about the book I wrote, For The Love Of Jack. I wrote it about our generation before 2001 and then self published it to help the newer generation that would follow them, and their families. That is something I learned from them...to fight for all generations.

Thank you so much for sharing your pain and story, You have helped me with my family and you dont even know it....As I read your story I was sitting there realising that you were talking about me in so many ways...the way I had become and the way I was headed. And Yes I am a combat Vet, from a long line of vets.......if I could just find out why there is no answers...........But I wanted to say thank you.......

Let the images sink in on this video because the pictures from Afghanistan and Iraq were the only ones people seemed to care about, but the older generations waited longer, suffered longer and still fought for the newer generation so that they would not end up like them.

The thing is, my generation is still fighting so that the newer generation does not have to suffer instead of healing the wounds they carried for far too long. We are retiring and dying off but doing all we can "in the living years."

When Vietnam veterans came home and fought for all the research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they were concentrating on what happens to those who fight the wars for this country. They had no clue that their efforts would end up helping everyone with PTSD. If you have PTSD and are getting help to heal, and you see a Vietnam veteran, say "thank you" to them because you have the hope of healing because of them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Living Years

Song by Mike + The Mechanics

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Oh, crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be okay

So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud)

Say it clear (come on say it clear)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: B.A. Robertson / Mike Rutherford (gb)

The Living Years lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC

Take your passion and make it happen

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 29, 2021

"First when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream, that your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind." The featured video today is What A Feeling from Flashdance. Listening to this song made me very happy because I've been thinking a lot about retiring. Next year, it will be forty years since I had a dream of making things better for people with PTSD. That's a long time for anyone!

I feel so much better thinking about it now because of one of the groups I discovered, using music, a message and trying to save people from suicide. Sounds Of Saving is doing the work I do and doing it a lot better than I ever could.

Songs that save lives
Music has been clinically proven to have a positive impact on mental health. The right song can affect our psychobiological stress system and create feelings of motivation, happiness and relaxation.
We think the world should know that music can fight mental illness.

"Take your passion and make it happen." That is what came into my head when I was reading and listening to what they are doing. When you are passionate about something, share it. If you are an artist and find a new way of doing something, do it. You may not be the best artist, but you can inpsire a better one and the beauty gets out into the world. You may love to write but never had the support or someone to publicize your work (been there and done that) but your words can inspire others and the world changes.

I often think about all the others who were involved with defeating PTSD long before me and wonder how they feel about what ended up happening because of "slow glowing dream" of healing they started when there was nothing before they came along.

The goal is to save lives and help people find a new way to live, healing instead of suffering. With Sounds Of Saving out there, along with a lot of other groups, they will make it happen.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Flashdance...What A Feeling

Irene Cara 

First when there's nothing

But a slow glowing dream

That your fear seems to hide

Deep inside your mind

All alone I have cried

Silent tears full of pride

In a world made of steel

Made of stone

Well, I hear the music

Close my eyes, feel the rhythm

Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)

Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life

Now I know, I got the chance

To reach the top, is so intense

In a world made of steel

Made of stone

Now I hear the music

Close my eyes I am rhythm

In a flash it takes hold

Of my heart

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)

Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life

I feel the passion, deep inside

I got strength, I got pride

In a world made of steel

Made of stone

Dancing, till the end of this night

Like now or never, got strength and pride

When I feel the music I'm losing control

Of my mind, my body, my heart and my soul

Let's go, make this dream come true

For me and for you, we can dance right through

You can have it all, there's no price to pay

Your feelings will show you the way

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)

Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

What a feeling 

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

What a feeling

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Irene Cara / Giorgio Moroder / Keith Forsey

Flashdance...What A Feeling lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

"the smiles returning to the faces"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 25, 2021

I think I have spring fever! I just got back after being out on this beautiful day and noticing how many people are smiling again. That is what getting vaccinated does. I wear a mask when I am shopping on in enclosed spaces with strangers, but it is off when I am with friends or walking around. Seeing people smile is a wonderful thing, instead of just seeing their eyes crinkle up above their masks. People are a lot happier.

That is what it is like healing PTSD. You do what you need to do to recover and you end up with spring fever too. You get happier. The people in your life get happier. Your family and friends, co-workers end up happier. Maybe they didn't know what was going on with you, but they knew something was happening inside of you. They also noticed when things started to turn around for you.

Today the featured video is The Beatles, Here Comes The Sun. It has been a "long, cold lonely winter." But the sun is coming back and so is your smile.

Enjoy being able to enjoy healing and being happier!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Here Comes The Sun (Take 9)

The Beatles

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: George Harrison

Here Comes The Sun (Take 9) lyrics © Harrisongs Ltd 

Live for those you love and heal

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 24, 2021

Today the featured video is one I did back in 2012. Alive Day with Donna Summer, I Will Live For Love. I created it when I was working with veterans and their families. It was a few years after I started posting on Wounded Times about the rise in suicides within the military and among veterans. Back then it was thought that there were 18 veterans committing suicide everyday and it was my effort to get them, along with the members of the military to think about PTSD in a different way.

All humans need to think about PTSD and mental health in a different way. Why you didn't see Post Bulletin footage of a suicide attempt? was the headline from The Post Bulletin by Jeff Pieters (May 21, 2021) about a repoter capturing the moment when a suicide was prevented by Police Officers. The reason they made the choice to not release the footage is something that all of us should pay attention to...and oh, by the way, I totally approve!

News reporting that informs you sometimes can hurt vulnerable people. Here's how one coverage decision was made.

As humans in society, we have an interest in our fellow people, the different ways they live their lives, the things that they achieve, and the fates that sometimes befall them. We expect, in our free society, to be informed. And yes, there will be hard and unpleasant stories in the Post Bulletin from time to time.

But when there is a cost to the subject, we have to weigh that against the public's desire to know. Does someone who has a drug addiction deserve to be spotlighted for his or her fairly minor misdeeds? Should the sight of somebody having their worst day — a mental health breakdown on a highway bridge in Rochester — be put on display to thousands of pairs of eyes?

And, as Gayle reminded me, sometimes it's more than the individual who bears the cost of the stigma and shame. "There's so little awareness of the impact on families," she said. "The hidden, invisible and innocent victims."

In the end, after much thought and discussion, we made the choice. We would not publish or post our images of what happened on that bridge.

It is never just the one with PTSD or any other mental health condition, but their families as well. I know what it is like to be "family" as well as what it is like to be the "one" dealing with depression so sever I was praying that God would let me die. It was after my daughter was born and I had walked around with an infection for months before it took over my body. I was in the hospital and so sad about things that I just didn't want to do any of it anymore. (Long story but you can read it in For The Love Of Jack) My husband came into the room when I woke up. He had our daughter in his arms. I looked at her and I knew I couldn't leave her. I decided to live for love.

Part of the reason why I stopped working exclusively with veterans and families was the fact that somehow the desire to expose the fact suicides were going up among veterans and members of the military, so that someone would do something to prevent them, was replaced by people making a lot of noise and money off the fact they were doing it. Prevention efforts were drowned out by the ever crowded growing numbers of people wanting fame and fortune instead of saving lives. Suicide prevention was replaced by suicide awareness. As more and more people were committing suicide, the focus and funding was all about veterans. I thought it was time that all us humans were worthy of living.

Maybe that is why most people decide to fight to take back our lives from whatever we're fighting. The people will love are worth fighting for. That is why I Will Live For Love is the featured video today.

Let it be your alive day and live for those you love by healing and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
 

Dream-a-Lot’s Theme (I Will Live for Love)

Donna Summer

There's got to be a way that I can dream

Simply close my eyes and see

The worlds I've never known

What places that my soul has been

Sometimes I need to run away and hide

And soar above the clouds and ride

I sail along so high

Till nothing's in my sky

Except the stars that fill my eyes

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love

I'm searching for the one who holds the key

To all this crazy life I lead

Through galaxies in time

A solitary star that joins

Sometimes I need to close my eyes and breathe

Inhale what life's been given me

A passion to ignite

A flaming heart a' flight

I close my eyes

I breathe

I'm free

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

"Cause that is when he wrote

Everything I felt for love

And I will fight for love in life and life in love

And I will hold to things above

I'm strong enough to slay the dragon dead and there

I will live for love

I'm taller than the sky

This dream will never die

So only know that I

I will live for love

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

That is when he wrote everything I felt for love

I will ever fight

I will live for life

I will live for love

Genius Lyrics