Thank Vietnam Veterans for healing #PTSD

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 30, 2021

Every Memorial Day, I cry more than most people. Almost everyone thinks about the lives lost during wars, but few think about all those who died because of the wars they fought. It also grieves me that most Americans fighting their own battles with PTSD, have no clue that the help they receive, was created because Vietnam Veterans came home and fought for all of it.

While I got involved almost forty years ago, the Afghanistan and Iraq veterans ended up getting all the attention because their generation was coming home, suffering, and committing suicide. The problem was, the majority of the veteran suicides known, were mostly over the age of fifty. In other words, pre-9 11 veterans, but few seemed to care.

In 2015 I did a video with Mike and the Mechanics song The Living Years. Vietnam Veterans Remembered was to let them know that someone was paying attention to what was still happening to them.

When I lived in Florida, I always recorded the escort of the Wall going into Wickham Park. I used that footage along with images from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan because of the lyrics of the song. Too many forget that war they fought and too many do not know they are still fighting it.

"So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past"

No Vietnam veteran wants to take away from the newer generations. They took a vow to fight for all generations. The thing is, they don't want to be pushed aside. It should never be one generation being helped while sacrificing the other generations.

Once in a while I go back through some old emails. This is from 2006 about the book I wrote, For The Love Of Jack. I wrote it about our generation before 2001 and then self published it to help the newer generation that would follow them, and their families. That is something I learned from them...to fight for all generations.

Thank you so much for sharing your pain and story, You have helped me with my family and you dont even know it....As I read your story I was sitting there realising that you were talking about me in so many ways...the way I had become and the way I was headed. And Yes I am a combat Vet, from a long line of vets.......if I could just find out why there is no answers...........But I wanted to say thank you.......

Let the images sink in on this video because the pictures from Afghanistan and Iraq were the only ones people seemed to care about, but the older generations waited longer, suffered longer and still fought for the newer generation so that they would not end up like them.

The thing is, my generation is still fighting so that the newer generation does not have to suffer instead of healing the wounds they carried for far too long. We are retiring and dying off but doing all we can "in the living years."

When Vietnam veterans came home and fought for all the research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they were concentrating on what happens to those who fight the wars for this country. They had no clue that their efforts would end up helping everyone with PTSD. If you have PTSD and are getting help to heal, and you see a Vietnam veteran, say "thank you" to them because you have the hope of healing because of them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Living Years

Song by Mike + The Mechanics

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Oh, crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be okay

So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud)

Say it clear (come on say it clear)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: B.A. Robertson / Mike Rutherford (gb)

The Living Years lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC

PTSD Patrol: It is like "Katniss going into the Hunger Games"

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

August 12, 2020

Today's feature video is Janet Seahorn, Ph.D talking about what PTSD is with a personal connection to it...her Vietnam Veteran husband and living with PTSD.

Knowing what that is like, it is with pleasure I listened to this. All too often when we are a family member, we feel alone, as if there is no help for us. I used to feel that way for a long time.

In researching it I discovered years ago, I very well could have ended up with raging PTSD from being a survivor of over ten events. The more I understood my husband, the more I understood how important it was to #takebackyourlife because I did and he is too!

Today's feature video is Janet Seahorn PhD who is also married to a Vietnam VET. She covers what PTSD is for everyone including those who live with them. It is educational and comforting, plus she shows her sense of humor with "I feel like Katniss going into the Hunger Games."

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

"I feel like Katniss going into the Hunger Games!"
Janet Seahorn

Understanding PTSD's Effects on Brain, Body, and Emotions | Janet Seahorn

PTSD disrupts the lives of average individuals as well as combat veterans who have served their country. The person experiencing the trauma often then impacts the lives of his/her family, friends, and workplaces. PTSD does not distinguish between race, age or gender and often goes undiagnosed. Even with proper diagnosis, many individuals do not know where to turn to get help. Society needs to understand the aftermath of trauma especially combat trauma and how to prepare for warriors when they return home.

String of miracles: Marine in Iraq found his family because of funeral for homeless veteran

Vietnam Veteran Andrew Elmer Wright

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 14, 2020

I have always had my heart tugged by homeless veterans.

Veteran Major Thomas Lawrence Egan, received many decorations for his service. He died homeless and alone in Eugene Oregon...in the snow. It was not that people did not try to help him. Many tried, but for whatever reason, he did not manage to accept what he needed from anyone.

The story of homeless veteran Richard Leroy Walters proved the we never know how much they are suffering...or how much they care about others.

Every day on NPR, listeners hear funding credits — or, in other words, very short, simple commercials. A few weeks ago, a new one made it to air: "Support for NPR comes from the estate of Richard Leroy Walters, whose life was enriched by NPR, and whose bequest seeks to encourage others to discover public radio."

NPR's Robert Siegel wondered who Walters was. So Siegel Googled him.

An article in the online newsletter of a Catholic mission in Phoenix revealed that Walters died two years ago at the age of 76. He left an estate worth about $4 million. Along with the money he left for NPR, Walters also left money for the mission.

But something distinguished Walters from any number of solvent, well-to-do Americans with seven-figure estates: He was homeless.

There are many stories about homeless veterans, but the one that stands out the most in my mind, is the string of miracles that happened, because the story grabbed my heart.

Story from Wounded Times

Vietnam Vet Andrew Elmer Wright found a home as a homeless vet

March 25, 2010

A simple casket with an American flag for Vietnam Veteran Andrew Elmer Wright.

A simple bouquet of flowers was placed with a simple photo a church member snapped.

By all accounts, Andrew was a simple man with simple needs but what was evident today is that Andrew was anything but a "simple" man.

A few days ago I received an email from Chaplain Lyle Schmeiser, DAV Chapter 16, asking for people to attend a funeral for a homeless Vietnam veteran. After posting about funerals for the forgotten for many years across the country, I felt compelled to attend.

As I drove to the Carey Hand Colonial Funeral Home, I imagined an empty room knowing how few people would show up for a funeral like this. All the other homeless veteran stories flooded my thoughts and this, I thought, would be just one more of them.

When I arrived, I discovered the funeral home was paying for the funeral. Pastor Joel Reif, of First United Church of Christ asked them if they could help out to bury this veteran and they did. They put together a beautiful service with Honor Guard and a 21 gun salute by the VFW post.

I asked a man there what he knew about Andrew and his eyes filled. He smiled and then told me how Andrew wouldn't drink the water from the tap. He'd send this man for bottled water, always insisting on paying for it. When the water was on sale, he'd buy Andrew an extra case of water but Andrew was upset because the man didn't use the extra money for gas.

Then Pastor Joel filled in more of Andrew's life. Andrew got back from Vietnam, got married and had children. His wife passed away and Andrew remarried. For some reason the marriage didn't work out. Soon the state came to take his children away. Andrew did all he could to get his children back, but after years of trying, he gave up and lost hope.

A few years ago, after going to the church for help from the food pantry, for himself and his cats, Andrew lost what little he had left. The tent he was living in was bulldozed down in an attempt to clear out homeless people from Orlando. Nothing was left and he couldn't find his cats.

Andrew ended up talking to Pastor Joel after his bike was stolen again, he'd been beaten up and ended up sleeping on church grounds in the doorway. Pastor Joel offered him the shed in the back of the church to sleep in so that he wouldn't have to face more attacks.

The shed had electricity and they put in a TV set, a frying pan and a coffee maker. They wanted to give Andrew more but he said they had already given him enough.

Pastor Joel told of how Andrew gave him a Christmas card with some money in it one year. Pastor Joel didn't want to take money from someone with so little, but Andrew begged him to take it saying "Please, don't take this away from me" because it was all he had to give and it meant a lot to give it to the Pastor. Much like the widow with two cents gave all she had in the Bible, Andrew was truly grateful for what little he had been given from the church.

What was soon made clear is that Pastor Joel gave him even more than he imagined. Andrew took it on himself to be the church watchman. While services were going on after Andrew greeted the parishioners, he would travel around the parking lot to make sure the cars were safe. At night he made sure any guests of the church were equally watched over. Pastor Joel not only gave him a roof over his head and food, he gave him something to make him feel needed.

More and more people came to the service and there was a lot of weeping as Pastor Joel spoke. What was very clear this day is that Andrew was called a homeless veteran but he was not homeless. He found one at the church. He lost his family and his children, but he found a family at the church.

From what was said about Andrew, he was a Vietnam veteran with PTSD and he wanted no help from the VA. Too many of them feel the same way and they live on the streets, depending on the kindness of strangers to help them out. Andrew wasn't one of the panhandlers we see in Orlando. He refused to beg for money and he wanted to work for whatever he was given. His health got worse but he still did what he could. Right up until March 16, 2010 when Andrew passed away, no matter what happened to him during his life, Andrew proved that this veteran was not hopeless, not helpless because he found the fulfillment of hope in the arms of strangers who took him in and he found help as he asked as well as gave.

The legacy of this homeless veteran is that he touched the lives of so many hearts and will never be forgotten.

Behind this church, in a tiny shed, Andew spent his last hours on this earth. Born in Riverside Park NJ on November 5, 1938 he returned to God on March 16, 2010. read the rest here

Rebecca's food pantry was started by parents after their daughter died. Because of that gift of love, a homeless veteran, was adopted by the church. That church gave him a home and a family. Because of the love they had for him, the funeral touched me so much so, that I had to post about it.

The veteran loved his children and never stopped searching for them. A son was in the Marines, serving in Iraq, and never gave up lookin for his Dad. A wife, loved her husband and carried on the search. Because of the post, she found it and contacted her husband. He was in Iraq when his search ended by being notified his Dad was gone.

That is not the end of the story. The son contacted Pastor Joel and found out how much his Dad loved him...and how much the church loved his Dad.

When the son returned from Iraq, he met Pastor Joel and was given the flag from the funeral. The son was also able to find his siblings after that.

This is what happened after the story came out.

First United Church of Christ proved that miracles can still happen. They took in a homeless Vietnam Veteran, gave him love and gave a family closure. His son was serving in the Marines when he found out what happened to his Dad. A simple casket with an American flag for Vietnam Veteran Andrew Elmer Wright.

PTSD Patrol on location at Wickham Park

Wickham Park Wall Escort 2019

Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 5, 2019

This morning I was at Wickham Park in Melbourne Florida for the Vietnam Memorial Wall Escort. It is the start of the week long reunion for veterans. While it started as a Vietnam veterans reunion, it was changed so that all veterans felt like family!

It is one of my favorite events and I wanted to share it with you, so, no PTSD Patrol video as usual today. Besides, when it comes to empowerment...sometimes it comes on two wheels and side by side~

Wounded Forgotten Warrior Project

Combat PTSD Wounded Times
and PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 9, 2019

(With two events this weekend I am cross posting this one on both sites.)

I wanted to show what it is like driving into work at 5:00 am with very little traffic on the road. Much like when I got into working on PTSD back in 1982, the road was paved by others out there long before I even heard the term.

Vietnam veterans are responsible for everything we know about what trauma does. It is not that others never experienced it, but they were the ones who did something about it.

During the filming of the video, the commercial for Wounded Warrior Project came on and I lost my mind. It came on right after I ran down the things that have been forgotten, including the fabulous work done on the Forgotten Warrior Project. It told their stories to stop them from suffering in silence.

They are the wounded forgotten warriors! Their project was to heal their generations and all others who came before them and for those they knew would come after them.

In the video you will hear about IFOC, Nam Knights and Point Man International Ministries. 

I trained with the IFOC. I am a Lady of the Knight with the Nam Knights. I am Florida state coordinator of Point Man. So yes, I believe in them and what we do!

Please look them up if you want to know about about fabulous efforts to do real peer support.

PTSD Patrol: When your ride is a pink scooter

Pink scooter fueled by love

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 30, 2018

Every once in a while, I am inspired beyond what words I can add to a topic. In one of those moods, where words just did not come, I searched some of my older videos. It came on a pink scooter. 

I was thinking about a lot of miracles that still happen and remembered the story of a homeless veteran. It is one of those stories that you think cannot be true. But it is. I know because I was at his funeral.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


Vietnam Vet Andrew Elmer Wright found a home as a homeless vet
A simple casket with an American flag for Vietnam Veteran Andrew Elmer Wright.

A simple bouquet of flowers was placed with a simple photo a church member snapped.

By all accounts, Andrew was a simple man with simple needs but what was evident today is that Andrew was anything but a "simple" man.

A few days ago I received an email from Chaplain Lyle Schmeiser, DAV Chapter 16, asking for people to attend a funeral for a homeless Vietnam veteran. After posting about funerals for the forgotten for many years across the country, I felt compelled to attend.

As I drove to the Carey Hand Colonial Funeral Home, I imagined an empty room knowing how few people would show up for a funeral like this. All the other homeless veteran stories flooded my thoughts and this, I thought, would be just one more of them.

When I arrived, I discovered the funeral home was paying for the funeral. Pastor Joel Reif, of First United Church of Christ asked them if they could help out to bury this veteran and they did. They put together a beautiful service with Honor Guard and a 21 gun salute by the VFW post.

I asked a man there what he knew about Andrew and his eyes filled. He smiled and then told me how Andrew wouldn't drink the water from the tap. He'd send this man for bottled water, always insisting on paying for it. When the water was on sale, he'd buy Andrew an extra case of water but Andrew was upset because the man didn't use the extra money for gas.

Then Pastor Joel filled in more of Andrew's life. Andrew got back from Vietnam, got married and had children. His wife passed away and Andrew remarried. For some reason the marriage didn't work out. Soon the state came to take his children away. Andrew did all he could to get his children back, but after years of trying, he gave up and lost hope.

A few years ago, after going to the church for help from the food pantry, for himself and his cats, Andrew lost what little he had left. The tent he was living in was bulldozed down in an attempt to clear out homeless people from Orlando. Nothing was left and he couldn't find his cats.

Andrew ended up talking to Pastor Joel after his bike was stolen again, he'd been beaten up and ended up sleeping on church grounds in the doorway. Pastor Joel offered him the shed in the back of the church to sleep in so that he wouldn't have to face more attacks.

The shed had electricity and they put in a TV set, a frying pan and a coffee maker. They wanted to give Andrew more but he said they had already given him enough.

Pastor Joel told of how Andrew gave him a Christmas card with some money in it one year. Pastor Joel didn't want to take money from someone with so little, but Andrew begged him to take it saying "Please, don't take this away from me" because it was all he had to give and it meant a lot to give it to the Pastor. Much like the widow with two cents gave all she had in the Bible, Andrew was truly grateful for what little he had been given from the church.

What was soon made clear is that Pastor Joel gave him even more than he imagined. Andrew took it on himself to be the church watchman. While services were going on after Andrew greeted the parishioners, he would travel around the parking lot to make sure the cars were safe. At night he made sure any guests of the church were equally watched over. Pastor Joel not only gave him a roof over his head and food, he gave him something to make him feel needed.

More and more people came to the service and there was a lot of weeping as Pastor Joel spoke. What was very clear this day is that Andrew was called a homeless veteran but he was not homeless. He found one at the church. He lost his family and his children, but he found a family at the church.

From what was said about Andrew, he was a Vietnam veteran with PTSD and he wanted no help from the VA. Too many of them feel the same way and they live on the streets, depending on the kindness of strangers to help them out.

Andrew wasn't one of the panhandlers we see in Orlando. He refused to beg for money and he wanted to work for whatever he was given. His health got worse but he still did what he could. Right up until March 16, 2010 when Andrew passed away, no matter what happened to him during his life, Andrew proved that this veteran was not hopeless, not helpless because he found the fulfillment of hope in the arms of strangers who took him in and he found help as he asked as well as gave.

The legacy of this homeless veteran is that he touched the lives of so many hearts and will never be forgotten.

Behind this church, in a tiny shed, Andew spent his last hours on this earth. Born in Riverside Park NJ on November 5, 1938 he returned to God on March 16, 2010.

John 14:2-3
In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Matthew 25

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,

36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

This video tells the rest of the story. If you want to believe again people can make a huge difference in the lives of others, watch it. If you want to believe that God is still interested in all of us, watch the video. 

Rev. Joel and this church touched me so much I had to do the post on what they did for Andrew. 

Because God tugged at them to help and tugged at me to get the story out, a Dad's love for his children was finally known.

First United Church of Christ proved that miracles can still happen. They took in a homeless Vietnam Veteran, gave him love and gave a family closure. His son was serving in the Marines when he found out what happened to his Dad. A simple casket with an American flag for Vietnam Veteran Andrew Elmer Wright.

So there you have it. How many lives were changed? Because a homeless veteran found a place where he could call home, and where he was loved. Children discovered why they were put up for adoption and that their Dad did not give up on finding them. All because people put #LoveInAction and created the miracle that grew.

"Then I am still and wait here in the silence"

Dawn of aVeterans Day

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 11, 2018

Before dawn yesterday, I went out to Apopka to walk along the path of the Vietnam Memorial Traveling Wall. I wanted to see the darkness turn to the light of day.

Much like when you drive surrounded by darkness, you can light your way by turning on your headlights, you can do that with your life as well.

The darkness can feel overwhelming at times and it can be hard to see what is around you.

Just like when you were in combat, you had your brothers and sisters with you and they are still around you now. Every experience you had with them remains in your soul. Lean on the memories when you saw kindness, compassion, shared laughter and secrets.

Now what is around you are people who love you and want you to be happy. You have people waiting to help you believe you are not sitting in darkness by yourself and they want to show you how to get back into the light of day.

When dawn breaks darkness, it does not just happen to begin a day. It happens to begin a chance to start with a different way to go. Just like turning on the lights of your vehicle to see better, you have a chance to see your life better. #CombatPTSD and #TakeBackYourLife

This is Veterans Day, so here is a little history lesson on who all of us should thank for what is available today for us after surviving traumatic events.

Vietnam Veterans and PTSD

Turn the Page from 2009

Vietnam veterans were sent there by themselves. They went into units as strangers. They came out as brothers and fought for all generations of veterans. You can turn the page of your past and into a better future. Like all memories, they do not end your story. They add to it.
This is from a ride to the Wall in Washington with the Nam Knights.

When I say that I learned from the best teachers, Sammy is one of them. In this video he talked about "tools" and how to move forward. Not by forgetting, but by making peace with the memories.

Vietnam Medal of Honor Sammy Davis has a message to all the troops coming home. Talk about it! Don't try to forget it but you can make peace with it. Dixie Davis has a message for the spouses too. Help them to talk about it with you or with someone else.

Vietnam veterans said they would never leave one generation behind. They fought for each other and for all generations but have been forgotten. 

Reporters just don't have time for them or reminding anyone that they waited longer, suffered longer, are the majority of the suicides, attempted suicides and those waiting for claims to be honored by the VA.

Had it not been for them, nothing would have been done on PTSD. 

When you watch this video, you'll see that they deserve just as much attention as the newer veterans. The problem is, none of our veterans get enough of anything!

Another video from 2006

When you ask a veteran when they were in combat, some will tell you it was last night. That is how strong the memories are. None of this is new. It goes back generations yet for all the awareness being talked about, they now know less than they knew before.

Forever Young
My wish for veterans in the New Year is that all of you know how much it means to be able to spend so much time with all of you.

"May God bless you and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder
To the stars
And climb on every rung
And may you stay
Forever young"

PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning: Helicopter out of hell

When your ride is a helicopter
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
August 19, 2018

LZ Landing Zone

In military terminology a landing zone (LZ) is an area where aircraft can land. In the United States military, a landing zone is the actual point where aircraft, especially helicopters, land (equivalent to the commonwealth landing point.) 

In commonwealth militaries, a landing zone is the cartographic (numeric) zone in which the landing is going to take place (e.g., a valley). The landing area is the area in which the landing is going to take place (e.g., the field where the aircraft are to land). The landing point is the point on which aircraft are going to land (e.g., a point of the field). Each aircraft has a different landing point.

Usually I know days ahead of doing these videos what the topic will be. This time, all I could think about is a Vietnam veteran named John Wolf and how his ride was a helicopter.

I posted the following on August 17, 2018 and could not get it out of my head.

When you discover the following, you'll have a better understanding why I have done this for over 36 years! 

It is because of veterans like John C. Wolf~

Wolfie the Grunt takes personal 8mm movies of a Combat Assault in Vietnam
John Wolf
Published on Nov 7, 2014

I bought a 8mm Yashica movie camera during a stand down from combat. Took movies during the stand down and then decided to hump the camera into the bush on our next mission. I took footage during our airmobile assault. After blocking out Vietnam for 36 years I decided to use my footage to pay tribute to those soldiers that were ambushed and killed on Easter Sunday 4-11-1971. I never expected that video to be seen 1.5 million times and the rest of my videos to be seen 1 million times for a total of 2.5+ million currently. In this version I decided to add personal narration.

Now that you have seen this, what comes next will help you to understand that this generation of veterans has waited far too long for their service to be really honored, beyond parties and parades. That this generation of veterans have been, and still are, the forgotten generation.

This is what Wolfie wrote about his life and what honor/vindication he still fights for.

‎John C Wolf‎ to Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Yesterday at 12:50 PM ·

I am still waiting for my Notice of Denial (NOD) to be review and given a decision. It was filed in 2016 and I was told it would take 277 days for a decision. Well needless to say that was a lie. 

For 8 years I have been treated by the VA Mental Health department here in Jacksonville and given 4 prescriptions to help with my nightmares, depression, suicidal thoughts and anxiety. I was combat Infantry Vietnam and awarded a Combat Infantry Badge (CIB), a Bronze Star and Air Medal as well as other honorable ribbons.

I experienced 3 major traumas, 
1. I had only been in country for about 3 weeks and my squad was out on a search and destroy mission and we were ambushed and two new buddies in front of me were killed, one died in my arms. 

2. I went over to another platoon to see some buddies and meet the new platoon leader, Lt. Hata. He was from a town near my home at the time in the Los Angeles area and talked for over an hour. I left to return to my platoon position, but turned around to wave goodbye. Lt Hata was waving at me and suddenly he was shot in the head and killed. I was devastated. 

3. On April 11, 1971 Easter Sunday, Chaplain Merle Brown came out and brought us hot food, gave us communion and then Easter Sunday Services. He ate lunch with us and I had the blessing of sitting right next to him and he became my new friend. His helicopter was later ambushed while leaving the ground, the explosions killed Chaplain Brown as well as 10 others. I watched as this happened, I was devastated and traumatized for his loss.

In the denial of my compensation request and in a statement to Congressman John Rutherford, the VA C and P said I never experienced trauma in combat. Duh?

I was interviewed 1 time by the blond lady in Gainesville. Many of you probably have experienced with I have: DENIAL. The VA recently sent me to have a private non-VA doctor do an interview of me for PTSD. I have recently learned the blond investigator that turned me down is under investigation by the VA because there have been so many complaints about her decisions.

For all those that are filing for compensation and have or will submit letters from family and Vets they served with, do not have them put any comment in their letters with what is considered a diagnosis, i.e. PTSD, Insomnia, etc. Gainesville will take those letter and throw them into the garbage as though they were never received therefore they say they have no evidence of your problems.

My case is unique, because as some know I bought a 8mm film movie camera and took it into the bush. 

I filmed our air mobile assault the day before Chaplain Brown was killed. Years ago I took the footage and made a tribute video for those killed on Easter Sunday and posted to YouTube. History Channel contacted me and asked if they could get my original 8mm film reels and use them in Vietnam in HD documentary. I did and they upgraded the footage to HD and sent the file to me. This footage has been used in 4 other documentaries and they have been viewed over 85 million times. 

I am on a mission to get this murderer lady in Gainesville fired and make the President and the Secretary of Veterans Affairs to clean up C and P and get what Vets deserve. If you are having the same problems as I, please contact me in hopes my experiences can help you and others too.

Objects in mirror, closer than they appear

Then They Appear
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 22, 2018

Yesterday we went out to the Veterans Reunion at Wickham Park in Melbourne Florida. It is the 31st time veterans gathered together for several reasons.

For some, it was to spend time with other veterans but for most, it was a journey to remember those they still spend time with, but only in their memories and dreams.

For far too many, when veterans reach retirement age, it all comes back. Things they thought the had gotten over, let them know loud and clear that the sound of the helicopters have not faded. The smell of diesel fuel has not faded. The feel of their weapons has not been removed from their hands.  

They carried PTSD inside of them all along but because they got too busy, too tired at the end of the day, they just didn't notice that the objects in their rear view mirror were a lot closer than they seemed to be.

It is time for your generation to make a U Turn from the left lane and start taking the right road.

The left lane is the lane for those who are heading into those who have left us! Why leave us now after all these years? Why surrender to the thing you have kept one step ahead of all this time?

Now that you have time, why not spend it on taking back your life from PTSD instead of trying to figure out how you want to leave now?

Your generation are the ones who taught the rest of the country what PTSD was and because you pushed for all the research, you basically taught all others how to heal. So how is it that too many in your generation did not get the radio call?

Your generation taught the rest of us how to honor those who risked their lives for everyone else. How about you teach the younger generation that having PTSD makes you a survivor and there is no shame in beating combat the first time. You gave it all you had to live during combat. How about you do all you can to survive old age?

Come on! For the generation who mapped the road, how is you guys keep taking the long way home to healing PTSD?

Ok, anyway, I filmed this weeks Empowerment Zone at the Memorial. I spent most of the morning trying to get rid of the noise from the wind. Then it dawned on my that you may have a lot of noise you can't get rid of too.

The noise you hear is the annoying chatter of how many veterans someone thinks should be reduced to. Not even close, but here, we're more about how many veterans pull each other up instead of trying to figure out how many will never get up again.

So, are you ready to take back your life? Then let the smoke rise up to let others know you need help.

They can rescue you if they don't know where you are!!!!!