I went from zero, to my own hero

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 16, 2021

If someone you know needs help, do you help them? If someone you know needs to talk, do you listen? Why don't you when the person you know better than anyone else, needs that from you? That would be YOU and the best way to help yourself is to ask for help from someone else, the same way you'd help them.

How many times do you need to be reminded of that? If you are the type of person who always rushed to help someone, your emotions paid a price for that. What if you did it multiple times? Did you take care of yourself afterwards or did you just decide to "get over it" and forget about it? Not dealing with it and addressing what you needed to give yourself in return, did not help you recover what you gave away. All it did was zap away more of your strength. If you kept giving more and more of yourself away, it only makes sense that you get to a point where your strength is gone.

With nothing left to give, it is depressing because you still want to help but have nothing to give away anymore. Time to fill yourself up so you can be able to do what you love to do....be a hero to yourself and then you can.

Today the featured video is Katy Perry ROAR!

If you made your living helping others, sooner or later, you run empty. Is it your pride, ego, or arrogance that is getting in your way? Thinking you shouldn't ask for help somehow made sense to you? Seriously? What kind of a message does that send when you are telling everyone else to ask for help and you'll be there if you are never willing to ask for it for yourself?

When you have nothing left to give and cannot help anyone, it is a depressing hell you trapped yourself in. Helping others is a part of you and if you cannot do it, then you are probably making people around you miserable too because they are wondering why you won't help them.

Isn't it time you asked and then set a better example? Then you can tell them to ask for help because you did. Tell them that there is nothing to be ashamed of, because you were not ashamed to ask for help when you needed it. You can also explain to them what it was like when you went from feeling like a zero to hero again.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Roar

Katy Perry

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath

Scared to rock the boat and make a mess

So I sat quietly, agreed politely

I guess that I forgot I had a choice

I let you push me past the breaking point

I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up (hey)

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder, gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up (hey)

Get ready 'cause I've had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter

Dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Now I'm floatin' like a butterfly

Stinging like a bee, I earned my stripes

I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up (hey)

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder, gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up (hey)

Get ready 'cause I've had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter

Dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (you'll hear me roar)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter

Dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (yeah)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (you'll hear me roar)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Lukasz Gottwald / Max Martin / Bonnie Leigh McKee / Katy Perry / Henry Walter

Roar lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Concord Music Publishing LLC 

"Can you imagine how I feel today?"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 15, 2021

"Can you imagine how I feel today?" is a question no one would have to ask if they talked...and someone listened. No relationship can last if they do not talk to each other about a hell of a lot more than dinner or who does what chores.

How many times have you been out to eat and look around, seeing most of the people looking at their cell phones instead of talking to the people they are with? The social media people are getting all their attention but not the person they are with. It is really bad when young parents are on their cellphones while their young child is throwing french fries at other tables. (Yes I saw that a time or two.)

A lot of relationships end with just regular problems. Add PTSD to the trouble list along with refusing to talk about what is going on and you end up causing a lot of imagination overload for your partner. They know you're hiding something, but since you won't tell them, they start assuming it has something to do with them.

If you are pushing them away at the same time you are not talking, which happens a lot, then you may get it sooner than you think when you push them too far away...and they walk away,

Can you imagine how they feel today? Today the featured video is Cliff Richard, We Don't Talk Anymore. 

There must have been a time when you did talk and actually acted like you wanted to spend time with them, not with distractions. There must have been a time when you actually looked into their eyes when they talked to you as if they deserved your attention. Above all, there must have been a time when you trusted them enough to share what was on your mind.

How about you try to do all that again before they walk away from you?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

We Don't Talk Anymore (2001 Remaster)

Cliff Richard

Used to think that life was sweet

Used to think we were so complete

I can't believe you'd throw it away

Used to feel we had it made

Used to feel we could sail away

Can you imagine how I feel today?

Well, it seems a long time ago

You were the lonely one

Now it comes to letting go

You are the only one

Do you know what you've done?

It's so funny how we don't talk anymore

It's so funny, why we don't talk anymore

But I ain't losing sleep and I ain't counting sheep

It's so funny how we don't talk anymore

Oh, we don't talk, ooh

Well, it really doesn't matter to me

I guess your leaving was meant to be

It's down to you now, you wanna be free

Well, I hope you know which way to go

You're on your own again

Don't come crying to me when you're the lonely one

Remember what you've done

Oh, it's so funny how we don't talk anymore

It's so funny, why we don't talk anymore

But I ain't losing sleep and I ain't counting sheep

No, no, no

It's so funny how we don't talk anymore, anymore

Oh, we don't talk anymore

Ooh, we don't talk anymore

But I ain't, no, losing sleep

No, I ain't counting sheep

No, no, no, no

It's so funny how we don't talk anymore, anymore

Oh, we don't talk, oh, we don't talk

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: A Tarney

We Don't Talk Anymore (2001 Remaster) lyrics © Sony/atv Music Publishing (uk) Limited 

Wish them well and then tell them to go to hell

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 10, 2021

Yesterday I had some personal things to do. To tell the truth, I needed a mental health day too. I am glad I did. I was looking for music to use today when I came across Disturbed Stronger On Your Own. As I listened to it, I started to think how I am stronger, and happier on my own.

When I lived in Florida, I was involved with a lot of veterans groups. I really cared about them, but there was something that was in the way of getting close to them. Politics! I listened to them say how much they hated things I believed, without them knowing what I thought. Some people on the other side, were OK and didn't seem to put it first above all else and we stayed friends. I kept my mouth shut with the others as they went on and on about their views, anger, bitterness and hatred. I still cared about them but it hurt.

I kept thinking that if they knew what I thought, they'd hate me too. I was right. When I moved to New Hampshire, it was lonely. We had a few friends and our daughter was here, we were also closer to other family members. Then the pandemic hit and things got shut down. It got even lonelier.

I got stronger! I looked back at how I hid what I thought as if I had anything to be ashamed of, when I didn't. 

This has gone way beyond simple political differences. I used to really enjoy a good debate but it did not cause as much hatred as it has the last ten years or so. Now it is as if we are so filled with it, nothing else matters to far too many.

If you have PTSD and you are dealing with this political BS, walk away. We've all heard crap over the years, especially about what people want to believe. There were decades when people thought PTSD was not real and if you are a veteran, you probably heard someone say that you were only out for a free ride, a government paycheck and it was all BS. I'd love to hear one of them say that to a civilian with PTSD, especially when the percentage of people denying it is still higher than those who admit it. The stigma and crappy attitude is alive and well because facts are still damned and people like to hear what they already believe.

If you are surrounded by people who do not think the way you do, then walk away. Listening to them will rob you of healing and get in the way. You should not have to change what you believe to fit in with someone who has shown you they already hate you, even though they never heard it from you.

It is a hinderance to your recovery. Wish them well and then tell them to go to hell. It is better to be on your own until you find others who do think like you, believe what you do, or, at least accept you as you are. 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Stronger on Your Own

Disturbed

Everybody has a story to tell

Listen closely now and you can hear mine as well

I was addicted to breaking my heart

I couldn't get enough of feeling it torn apart

So conflicted, in feeling the pain

I say I've had enough but still want it all again

I won't deny

I tried to hide it

But it was killing me inside

And now I

Feel un-whole

So if you're able to survive

And still you find yourself alone

You will begin to realize

That you are stronger on your

Stronger on your own

I've created my own personal hell

Come inside with me and you can be mine as well

This affliction will blacken your heart

I keep believing as it's tearing my soul apart

Self-destruction is the name of the game

I say I've had enough but still want it all again

I won't deny

I tried to hide it

But now it's killing me inside

And now I

Feel so cold

So if you're able to survive

And still you find yourself alone

You will begin to realize

That you are stronger on your own

And when you're able to decide

Then you don't want this anymore

You'll be the one to turn the tide

For you are stronger on your

Stronger on your

Stronger on your own

Leave it alone

Bury it, bury it

Leave it alone

Bury the dead

Leave it alone

Bury it, bury it

Leave it alone

Bury the dead

Leave it alone

Bury it, bury it

Leave it alone

Bury the dead

So if you're able to survive

And still you find yourself alone

You will begin to realize

That you are stronger on your own

And when you're able to decide

Then you don't want this anymore

You'll be the one to turn the tide

For you are stronger on your

Stronger on your

Stronger on your own

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dan Donegan / David Draiman / Kevin Churko / Mike Wengren

Stronger on Your Own lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 

All that work was worth it

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 15, 2021 

(From my other site)

"The loneliest kind of lonely" is when there is no one else like you. I know that feeling because when I started working on PTSD, I didn't know anyone like me. It was lonely because we didn't have the internet and the only information I could find was at the library reading clinical books. Nothing strange about that since it was in 1982.

In 1993, I finally got a computer and then I found other people talking about PTSD. I started my first site on AOL, then it was on a website where I went by NamGuardianAngel. Back then, since I was unique, I had a lot of emails and phone calls. There were even more when I wrote my first book in 2002.

In 2006 I started making videos on PTSD on YouTube and in 2007, I started Wounded Times.

All that work was worth it even though it was never to make money. Sure I wanted to at least break even but the thing was, the work itself kept me going. Getting feed back and reading messages let me know, it mattered to the people I was trying to help.

In 2007 I posted a massive post about suicides hoping that someone with the power to do something would. Once all the groups started to pop up all over the internet and social media, the emails and messages started to go down. I was reading more and more about veterans suffering and very little being done to help them. The problem was, they were doing something about it by using them to make money.

I didn't give up and made more videos, posted more and tried to reach out as much as possible. It got lonelier and lonelier. In 2017 I started PTSD Patrol hoping that with PTSD in the title, I could gain control over the conversation again, and give veterans hope and families understanding.

Last year, it was too much for me, reading the reports of suicides going up in the veterans' community and within the military itself. My heart was breaking. I decided to stop focusing on them and started to open the work up to anyone with PTSD. PTSD Patrol passed 100,000 page views recently.

read more on Wounded Times

"Live your truth and know you're not alone"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 7, 2021

A while ago I heard from an old friend. She had been on a bowling team and was really good. Whenever we went, she said I was comedy relief because I was so bad at it. Some of the members of her team started to get political. They were saying things that was horrible. She felt more and more uncomfortable whenever they got together because she was so shocked they felt the way they did. She walked away.

She stopped doing a lot of other things. She went to work and then went home. That was all she did. Someone suggested to her that since there were a few other members of the team who walked away, she should contact them so they could go bowling again and just have fun. It was easy to assume they felt the same way she did. She was right. They started to go bowling and out to eat once a week. They were having so much fun, and few members of the old group wanted to join them.

The new little group didn't want them. The others had already said what they did and expressed how they felt, so trust was gone. They forgave them, but they didn't want to constantly be questioning the others, wondering what they thought and ending up feeling uncomfortable around them all over again. They decided to just be true to themselves.

When you have PTSD, people saying horrible things comes with it. You can forgive them, try to explain it to them and hope they change, but all too often, the trust is gone and what they said echos in your mind. Forgive them and walk away. Let them find people who think the same way they do and you do the same, because you'll be a lot happier.

Today's featured video is Sarah McLachlan, In Your Shoes. Be true to yourself and surround yourself with people who will accept you as you are. I know what it is like because for years I had to keep my mouth shut when others said terrible things around me. I knew if I said what I thought, they'd hate me and I was a right. When I finally freed myself from them, they attacked me for speaking my mind. I kept my mind and lost them from my life. It was liberating! I am a lot happier now.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

In Your Shoes

Sarah McLachlan

You turn the radio on play your favorite song and cry... cry

You let it all disappear push back the doubt and fear they try... try

To hold your head under the waves but you're breathing all the same

You are stronger than their hate

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Leave it all behind and move on you are your own woman

You never asked for trouble but you've got fire that burns so bright... bright

You turn and face the struggle when all the others turn and hide... hide

You hold your head above the waves above the war they try to wage

You are stronger than their hate

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Leave it all behind and move on 'cause you are your own woman

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Leave it all behind and move on you are your own woman move on yeah

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Say what's on your mind with pride 'cause you are your own woman

You've got a light that always guides you

You speak of hope and change as something good

Live your truth and know you're not alone

You turn the radio on play your favorite song and sing out so loud

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Sarah Ann Mclachlan / Pierre Marchand / Luke Doucet

In Your Shoes lyrics © Tyde Music, Southern Music Pub. Co. Canada Ltd. 

What else can I be but what I am

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 6, 2021

Ever since I posted the video yesterday from Sly And The Family Stone, I've been thinking about a song my parents used to play. Sammie Davis Jr. I Got To Be Me. There was a line in it I didn't remember, "That far away prize, a world of success."

Did you know that you may measure success your own way, for yourself, as you see what it is for you? Do you measure it by what money you make or things you buy? Do you measure it by how popular you are? Or do you measure it by what you do for others, how much you love and care about others?

Who are you to you?

I measure success by doing what I can do with what I have to do it with. Not interested in fitting into what others think I should be or do what others think I should do. I am just "me" and happy that way. I know my qualities, as well as I know my flaws. I worked on the ones I could actually do something about, like my temper, but I learned to accept things I cannot change, like the fact I am a total klutz!

Don't try to go against who you are because that will make you miserable. Don't try to change to fit in, but try to fit in with people who accept you as you are and value you.  My husband and I have been married as long as we have been because we accept each other. I get over his flaws and he gets over mine, because the qualities outweigh the flaws.

Success, when you are on the journey to healing PTSD, is taking "you" all of you with you. Your flaws, that are ones you can change, can be worked on. Your flaws that make you just human, should be understood and accepted. Healing is the "prize" you should reach for and all else will follow that path.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I've Gotta Be Me

Sammy Davis Jr.

Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong

Whether I find a place in this world or never belong

I gotta be me, I've gotta be me

What else can I be but what I am

I want to live, not merely survive

And I won't give up this dream

Of life that keeps me alive 

I gotta be me, I gotta be me

The dream that I see makes me what I am

That far away prize, a world of success

Is waiting for me if I heed the call 

I won't settle down, won't settle for less

As long as there's a chance that I can have it all

I'll go it alone, that's how it must be

I can't be right for somebody else

If I'm not right for me

I gotta be free, I've gotta be free

Daring to try, to do it or die

I've gotta be me

I'll go it alone, that's how it must be

I can't be right for somebody else

If I'm not right for me 

I gotta be free, I just gotta be free

Daring to try, to do it or die 

I gotta be me

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Walter Marks

I've Gotta Be Me lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Sammy Davis Jr - I've Gotta Be Me (Live in Germany 1985)

Wounded Times Reached 5 Million!

This is my other site~

STUNNING NEWS!

THANK YOU!

make good times even better

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 2, 2021

Happiness sneaks up on you! All of a sudden, all the things you used to enjoy seem even better than before. "Good times never seemed so good!"

That is what it is like when you come out of the darkest hell and heal PTSD. No longer trapped by misery, doubt, paranoia, feeling as if you have something to hide and realize that life can be better than before. Maybe it is because even though you wouldn't admit it, you missed feeling happy, being with friends, doing fun things and yes, smiling without feeling as if you had to force it.

You end up with strange reactions to things you thought you'd never care about again. When we lived in Florida, there were some spatular sunrises and sunsets. Once in a while my husband would go out to the pool deck and scream my name. I'd go running to him and he'd be pointing up at the sky, with the amazed look of a child seeing it for the first time.

Right now, for me, I feel like a kid when I get to do something as simple as get my hair cut, hug people again and see smiling faces.

The entire world got a lesson on what trauma is by living through their own trauma and it was different for everyone. Some people lost all they owned, others lost everyone they loved. Some people were forced to work from home, others lost their jobs. That is what the darkness of PTSD is like. 

When more people go vaccinated, like us, things started to look more hopeful. People started to do the right thing. Instead of just complaining about what they couldn't do, more and more people decided they could do their part so they would be able to do what they wanted to do safely. We've seen the numbers go down on the sickness and death counts, just as we've seen the numbers go up on the vaccinated side.

That is what healing is! It is what it is like to heal PTSD too. You can make good times even better because now you know what you missed. You won't take it for granted anymore and when it sneaks up on you, you get back hope of more good times and good feelings.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Sweet Caroline

Neil Diamond

Where it began, I can't begin to knowing

But then I know it's growing strong

Was in the spring

And spring became the summer

Who'd have believed you'd come along

Hands, touching hands

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

But now I

Look at the night and it don't seem so lonely

We filled it up with only two

And when I hurt

Hurting runs off my shoulders

How can I hurt when holding you

One, touching one

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

Oh no, no

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Sweet Caroline

I believe they never could

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Neil Diamond

Sweet Caroline lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, DistroKid 

Thank Vietnam Veterans for healing #PTSD

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 30, 2021

Every Memorial Day, I cry more than most people. Almost everyone thinks about the lives lost during wars, but few think about all those who died because of the wars they fought. It also grieves me that most Americans fighting their own battles with PTSD, have no clue that the help they receive, was created because Vietnam Veterans came home and fought for all of it.

While I got involved almost forty years ago, the Afghanistan and Iraq veterans ended up getting all the attention because their generation was coming home, suffering, and committing suicide. The problem was, the majority of the veteran suicides known, were mostly over the age of fifty. In other words, pre-9 11 veterans, but few seemed to care.

In 2015 I did a video with Mike and the Mechanics song The Living Years. Vietnam Veterans Remembered was to let them know that someone was paying attention to what was still happening to them.

When I lived in Florida, I always recorded the escort of the Wall going into Wickham Park. I used that footage along with images from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan because of the lyrics of the song. Too many forget that war they fought and too many do not know they are still fighting it.

"So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past"

No Vietnam veteran wants to take away from the newer generations. They took a vow to fight for all generations. The thing is, they don't want to be pushed aside. It should never be one generation being helped while sacrificing the other generations.

Once in a while I go back through some old emails. This is from 2006 about the book I wrote, For The Love Of Jack. I wrote it about our generation before 2001 and then self published it to help the newer generation that would follow them, and their families. That is something I learned from them...to fight for all generations.

Thank you so much for sharing your pain and story, You have helped me with my family and you dont even know it....As I read your story I was sitting there realising that you were talking about me in so many ways...the way I had become and the way I was headed. And Yes I am a combat Vet, from a long line of vets.......if I could just find out why there is no answers...........But I wanted to say thank you.......

Let the images sink in on this video because the pictures from Afghanistan and Iraq were the only ones people seemed to care about, but the older generations waited longer, suffered longer and still fought for the newer generation so that they would not end up like them.

The thing is, my generation is still fighting so that the newer generation does not have to suffer instead of healing the wounds they carried for far too long. We are retiring and dying off but doing all we can "in the living years."

When Vietnam veterans came home and fought for all the research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they were concentrating on what happens to those who fight the wars for this country. They had no clue that their efforts would end up helping everyone with PTSD. If you have PTSD and are getting help to heal, and you see a Vietnam veteran, say "thank you" to them because you have the hope of healing because of them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Living Years

Song by Mike + The Mechanics

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Oh, crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be okay

So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud)

Say it clear (come on say it clear)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: B.A. Robertson / Mike Rutherford (gb)

The Living Years lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC

For all the brave and the souls who went before us

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 28 2021

It is Memorial Day weekend and I always get reflective. My Dad and all my uncles, first generation Americans, fought in 2 wars. My husband's Dad and uncles, also first generation Americans, fought in WWII, and he fought in Vietnam.

They were all raised to understand how important it was to fight for something they believed in. They believed in this country. Each one of them paid a price for their service. Some of them lost buddies. Each year, we would go to parades and cemeteries to acknowledge their service. When I was young, I never thought about the day when I would to go cemeteries to visit their graves.

There is so much we can learn by what they did and what they did it for.  They did it for each other, for their families and for the future. Please forgive me if the reflections I have had over the last few months bother you but considering how the majority of the American people feel, I am no different.

While this nation seems to be one way, the truth is, only some are. Those who want answers and accountability, are the majority, but for years everyone assumed I was a Republican because I associated with them in veterans groups. I never felt free to say what I believed. My job was to help veterans and families with PTSD and I was forced to put that first.

I had to listen to them saying how much they hated Democrats. Tell all kinds of lies they believed were true and then pretend that they were not political when they wanted new members.

The thing is, my Dad, my uncles were all Democrats. My Mom and aunts were. Yet I had to hear what the people I spent so much time with actually thought about the people I loved the most....sad. I had to listen to them talk about how much they would have hated the people I loved...and how much they would have hated me. 

No matter what I did to help people, including them, none of that mattered as soon as I stopped being silent and said what I thought. None of them ever thought about how what they said all those years hurt me, or made me feel. 

This is why today the featured video is Change, Christina Aguilera.

If you have PTSD, especially if you have PTSD, taking back your life means being able to speak your mind. Being free to express yourself is a real freedom and generation after generation of men and women risked their lives to protect that right. Some of them were Republican and some, like my family, were Democrats. None of that mattered when they were serving side by side and willing to die for those they were with. Today, somehow that changed into something I no longer recognize as such, especially after what happened at the Senate today when only 6 Republicans voted for the investigation into what happened when the Capital itself was attacked.

Freedom is empowering, but only if you use it. So when you hear someone in your life, talk about how much they hate, talk about those you loved and honor that love. Do it "for all the brave souls who went before us" and then, if necessary, walk away from them. You do not need that kind of oppression in your life.  There was a time when I would have said to just set the political divide aside, but those days are long gone. One day, we may return to a time when differences made us stronger because we valued each other instead of constantly hearing how much we are hated for what we believe.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

This is how you #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife 

Change

Christina Aguilera

When I was young I would look in the mirror

Didn't know it then but now it couldn't be clearer

I remember being filled with such wonder

Before learning that the world could be harsher

Who

Who you love or the color of your skin

Or the place that you were born and grew up in

Shouldn't decide how you will be treated

Cause we're all the same when everybody's breathing

Waiting for a change to set us free

Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me

Waiting for hope to come around

Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found

Waiting for a change,

Waiting for a change

Change, change...

For all the brave and the souls who went before us

Stand tall be proud and lift your voices

Let 'em know who we are and our choices

And one day we won't have to sing this chorus

Waiting for a change to set us free

Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me

Waiting for hope to come around

Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found

Waiting for a change,

Waiting for a change

Change, change...

Hold on

Waiting for a change

Change

When I was young I would look in the mirror

Didn't see it then but now it couldn't be clearer

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Christina Aguilera / Martin Terefe / Jake Hagood / Florian Reutter

Change lyrics © West Eight Music Publishing, Super Big Music 

"the smiles returning to the faces"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 25, 2021

I think I have spring fever! I just got back after being out on this beautiful day and noticing how many people are smiling again. That is what getting vaccinated does. I wear a mask when I am shopping on in enclosed spaces with strangers, but it is off when I am with friends or walking around. Seeing people smile is a wonderful thing, instead of just seeing their eyes crinkle up above their masks. People are a lot happier.

That is what it is like healing PTSD. You do what you need to do to recover and you end up with spring fever too. You get happier. The people in your life get happier. Your family and friends, co-workers end up happier. Maybe they didn't know what was going on with you, but they knew something was happening inside of you. They also noticed when things started to turn around for you.

Today the featured video is The Beatles, Here Comes The Sun. It has been a "long, cold lonely winter." But the sun is coming back and so is your smile.

Enjoy being able to enjoy healing and being happier!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Here Comes The Sun (Take 9)

The Beatles

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: George Harrison

Here Comes The Sun (Take 9) lyrics © Harrisongs Ltd 

Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 23, 2021

A drug addict, a drunk and a homeless man were alone, lost and lonely. Then someone came to invite them to get soaked in the rain. That was probably the only invitation they had in years. The featured video today is Michael Smith, Healing Rain. I bet you thought that was going to be a joke.

Because the pandemic hit only a few months after we moved to New Hampshire, we didn't know too many people. It was really hard being isolated and not knowing our way around. The blessing was, our daughter was already here, which is why we moved. Some friends we had many years lived fairly close and they made it easier, making sure we got out of the house and spent time with them.

We were lucky but too many were not. When you are lonely, your mind takes over, and most of the time, not in a good way. Sad and lonely, you can end up telling yourself that no one wants you around. You look back at your life and all the times you felt like an outcast become stronger than the memories of when you felt as if you belonged somewhere. You may know you need help, but sooner or later you end up telling yourself you are not worth helping.

Then someone comes along to let you know you are worth their time and they offer you hope.

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy

Psalm 107:2

The enemy is no longer what caused PTSD, but it is PTSD trying to take over the rest of your life. When you have it, you feel like an outcast. Lost, hopeless and not worth helping, you give up on others because you gave up on yourself. The thing is, the others who have healed, know exactly what that feels like for you, because they went through it too. 

I was with Point Man International Ministries for years until I started to work with survivors from all causes. They are veterans and work with veterans and their families. Way back in 1984 they figured out that healing had to be done with treating the whole veteran. Their mind, their body and above all, their spirit, needed care. They knew this because they had suffered too. They were lost, lonely and felt like outcast too. Some had turned to drugs, alcohol, and some tried to end their own lives, but they were helped by others who knew exactly what it felt like on both sides of healing. They were there to show the way to get to the better side of it.

Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous work the same way...someone knows what it is like to be struggling alone, but they know what it was like when someone came along and helped them heal.

There are groups all over the country doing the work with other survivors and you can find them by just doing a Google search for PTSD, whatever caused yours, and spiritual support. The thing is, if you try one but find they are not a good match for what you believe, then find another group. Keep looking until you find one to fill your soul, not try to convert it.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Healing Rain

Michael W. Smith

Healing rain is coming down

It's coming nearer to this old town.

Rich and poor, weak and strong

It's bringing mercy, it won't be long.

Healing rain is coming down

It's coming closer to the lost and found.

Tears of joy and tears of shame

Are washed forever in Jesus' name.

Healing rain, it comes with fire

So let it fall and take us higher.

Healing rain, I'm not afraid

To be washed in Heaven's rain.

Lift your heads, let us return

To the mercy seat where time began.

And in your eyes I see the pain.

Come soak this dry heart with healing rain.

And only you, the Son of Man

Can take a leper and let him stand.

So lift your hands, they can be held

By someone greater, the Great I Am.

Healing rain, it comes with fire

So let it fall and take us higher.

Healing rain, I'm not afraid

To be washed in Heaven's rain.

To be washed in Heaven's rain.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Martin Smith / Matthew Bronleewe / Michael Smith

Healing Rain lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management

Michael W. Smith - Healing Rain (Official Music Video)

The pep talk you need to give "you"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 19, 2021

When I was young, I was a jock...and a klutz. Never a good combination but I loved to do several things. My favorite was swimming. I swam a mile a night, then worked at the YMCA as a lifeguard. I remember listening to a swim coach giving his pep talk to the opposing team.

He looked every single one of them in the eye and said things to them, they ended up telling themselves.

If you have someone telling you they believe in you, then you end up believing in yourself. Isn't it time for you to start doing it because you do believe you can?

Tell yourself you can heal PTSD and then you'll find a way to do it. There is an abundance of resources online for you to find and in your own community. 

Listen to the video for today and then listen to the featured video by Des'ree You Got To Be.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

You Gotta Be

Des'ree 

Listen as your day unfolds

Challenge what the future holds

Try and keep your head up to the sky

Lovers, they may cause you tears

Go ahead, release your fears

Stand up and be counted

Don't be ashamed to cry

You gotta be

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser

You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger

You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together

All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Herald what your mother said

Read the books your father read

Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time

Some may have more cash than you

Others take a different view

My oh my, eh, eh, eh

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser

You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger

You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together

All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Time asks no questions, it goes on without you

Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace

The world keeps on spinning

Can't stop it if you tried to

The best part is danger staring you in the face, oh

Remember, listen as your day unfolds

Challenge what the future holds

Try and keep your head up to the sky

Lovers, they may cause you tears

Go ahead release your fears

My oh my, eh, eh, eh

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser

You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger

You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together

All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Yeah, yeah, yeah

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser

You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger

You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together

All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Yeah-yeah

Got to be bold

Got to be bad

Got to be wise

Do what others say

Got to be hard

Not too too hard

All I know is love will save the day

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser

You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger

You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Des'ree Weekes / Ashley Ingram

You Gotta Be lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 15, 2021

Imagine needing help to heal PTSD. You ask a friend a friend if they know how to get there. They tell you that road doesn't exist. They looked for it but never found it. Then you decide that you'll go looking for it. After a while you see a traffic sign that tells you exactly where that road is. You'll be happy to see it but then you realize you never would have found it, if you hadn't looked for it. 

You could end up being pissed off at your friend, or, you could go back and let them know where it is so they could find it too. Would you be ashamed of them for needing help? Nope! Then what is stopping you from looking for the help you need? Isn't it time you saw the sign and tell your friend it opened up your eyes too?

Today's featured video is Ace Of Base, The Sign!

Remember, it is your life...get and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Sign

Ace of Base

Shock!

I, I got a new life

You would hardly recognize me

I'm so glad

How can a person like me care for you?

(Ah) Why do I bother

When you're not the one for me

Is enough enough?

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

Life is demanding without understanding

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

No one's gonna drag you up

To get into the light where you belong

But where do you belong?

Under the pale moon

For so many years I've wondered who you are

How could a person like you bring me joy

Under the pale moon

Where I see a lot of stars

Is enough enough?

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

Life is demanding without understanding

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

No one's gonna drag you up

To get into the light where you belong

But where do you belong?

Oh, oh, oh, oh

I saw the sign and it opened up my mind

And I am happy now

Living without you

I've left you, oh oh oh

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

No one's gonna drag you up

To get into the light where you belong

I saw the sign, I saw the sign

I saw the sign

I saw the sign, I saw the sign

I saw the sign, I saw the sign

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Jenny Berggren / Malin Berggren / Jonas Berggren / Ulf Ekberg

The Sign lyrics © Megasong Publishing 

PTSD: Ghostbusters ready to believe you!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 11, 2021

It is so strange how so many songs can be applied to living with PTSD. OK! I admit it, I am strange but that's OK too since the word "normal" is just an illusion. What is normal? What is something that is "normal" to one person won't be to someone else. This morning the theme from Ghostbusters popped into my brain, which may not sound normal to anyone else, but considering what I do, it is. Ghostbusters were not normal at all but fighting ghosts was just a job to them. 

I decided that today it would be the featured video today. Ghostbusters Commercial starts with "Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?" It ends with "We're ready to believe you!"
That is what it is like when you finally find someone who believes you. Finding a trauma specialist is like calling Ghostbusters. You may feel odd or strange but it is their job to fight the ghosts that have been following you around since you survived whatever caused PTSD to hit you. "Busting ghosts makes them feel good" and you feel better too!

I had ghosts chasing me too. Now, "I ain't 'fraid of no ghosts! Isn't it time to get them out of your life too?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Ghostbusters

Ray Parker Jr. 

Ghostbusters!

If there's something strange

In your neighborhood

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

If there's something weird

And it don't look good

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

I ain't 'fraid of no ghost

I ain't 'fraid of no ghost

If you're seeing things

Running through your head

Who can you call?

Ghostbusters!

An invisible man

Sleepin' in your bed

Ow, who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

I ain't 'fraid of no ghost

I ain't 'fraid of no ghost

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

If you're all alone

Pick up the phone

And call

Ghostbusters!

I ain't 'fraid of no ghost

Ooh, I hear it likes the girls

Hm, I ain't 'fraid of no ghost

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

Mmm, if you've had a dose of a

Freaky ghost, baby

You better call

Ghostbusters!

Ow!

Lemme tell ya something

Bustin' makes me feel good!

I ain't 'fraid of no ghost

I ain't 'fraid of no ghost

Don't get caught alone oh, no

Ghostbusters!

When it comes through your door

Unless you just want some more

I think you better call

Ghostbusters!

Ow! Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

Uh, think you better call

Ghostbusters!

Ha ha, who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

I can't hear you

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

Louder

Ghostbusters!

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

Who can you call?

Ghostbusters!

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Ray Parker Jr. Ghostbusters lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Songtrust Ave, Ray Parker Jr Dba Raydiola Music