For all the brave and the souls who went before us

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 28 2021

It is Memorial Day weekend and I always get reflective. My Dad and all my uncles, first generation Americans, fought in 2 wars. My husband's Dad and uncles, also first generation Americans, fought in WWII, and he fought in Vietnam.

They were all raised to understand how important it was to fight for something they believed in. They believed in this country. Each one of them paid a price for their service. Some of them lost buddies. Each year, we would go to parades and cemeteries to acknowledge their service. When I was young, I never thought about the day when I would to go cemeteries to visit their graves.

There is so much we can learn by what they did and what they did it for.  They did it for each other, for their families and for the future. Please forgive me if the reflections I have had over the last few months bother you but considering how the majority of the American people feel, I am no different.

While this nation seems to be one way, the truth is, only some are. Those who want answers and accountability, are the majority, but for years everyone assumed I was a Republican because I associated with them in veterans groups. I never felt free to say what I believed. My job was to help veterans and families with PTSD and I was forced to put that first.

I had to listen to them saying how much they hated Democrats. Tell all kinds of lies they believed were true and then pretend that they were not political when they wanted new members.

The thing is, my Dad, my uncles were all Democrats. My Mom and aunts were. Yet I had to hear what the people I spent so much time with actually thought about the people I loved the most....sad. I had to listen to them talk about how much they would have hated the people I loved...and how much they would have hated me. 

No matter what I did to help people, including them, none of that mattered as soon as I stopped being silent and said what I thought. None of them ever thought about how what they said all those years hurt me, or made me feel. 

This is why today the featured video is Change, Christina Aguilera.

If you have PTSD, especially if you have PTSD, taking back your life means being able to speak your mind. Being free to express yourself is a real freedom and generation after generation of men and women risked their lives to protect that right. Some of them were Republican and some, like my family, were Democrats. None of that mattered when they were serving side by side and willing to die for those they were with. Today, somehow that changed into something I no longer recognize as such, especially after what happened at the Senate today when only 6 Republicans voted for the investigation into what happened when the Capital itself was attacked.

Freedom is empowering, but only if you use it. So when you hear someone in your life, talk about how much they hate, talk about those you loved and honor that love. Do it "for all the brave souls who went before us" and then, if necessary, walk away from them. You do not need that kind of oppression in your life.  There was a time when I would have said to just set the political divide aside, but those days are long gone. One day, we may return to a time when differences made us stronger because we valued each other instead of constantly hearing how much we are hated for what we believe.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

This is how you #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife 

Change

Christina Aguilera

When I was young I would look in the mirror

Didn't know it then but now it couldn't be clearer

I remember being filled with such wonder

Before learning that the world could be harsher

Who

Who you love or the color of your skin

Or the place that you were born and grew up in

Shouldn't decide how you will be treated

Cause we're all the same when everybody's breathing

Waiting for a change to set us free

Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me

Waiting for hope to come around

Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found

Waiting for a change,

Waiting for a change

Change, change...

For all the brave and the souls who went before us

Stand tall be proud and lift your voices

Let 'em know who we are and our choices

And one day we won't have to sing this chorus

Waiting for a change to set us free

Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me

Waiting for hope to come around

Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found

Waiting for a change,

Waiting for a change

Change, change...

Hold on

Waiting for a change

Change

When I was young I would look in the mirror

Didn't see it then but now it couldn't be clearer

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Christina Aguilera / Martin Terefe / Jake Hagood / Florian Reutter

Change lyrics © West Eight Music Publishing, Super Big Music 

If GOP Senators block investigation of Capitol attack, remember all of it

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

May 28, 2021

Capitol Attack Part 1

Yesterday Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick's Mother paid a visit to GOP members of the Senate begging them to vote for the investigation as to who was behind the attack so that people would be held accountable for what they did leading to his death, and injuries of the other officers, and the threat that is still hanging over all of them that it can happen again.

If Republicans refuse to have the investigation into the Capitol attack, remember their names as much as we remember what they already said.

"There is no question, done, that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the event of the day." That is what Mitch McConnell said before he tried to explain why he voted against impeaching Trump for it.

One by one, Republicans who were repulsed by what happened, on that horrible day, decided that it was time to just move on and forget about it. What made all of this worse, is what they ended up doing and saying afterwards. Now, they are trying to block holding people accountable for it by investigating exactly what happened. That is what is owed to the American people and all those who serve the people in the People's House.

“If you didn't know that TV footage was a video from January the sixth, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit.” Rep. Andrew Clyde

NBC News

“As one of the members who stayed in the Capitol, and on the House floor, who with other Republican colleagues helped barricade the door until almost 3 p.m. from the mob who tried to enter, I can tell you the House floor was never breached and it was not an insurrection. This is the truth,” Clyde claimed.

Does that mean he does that on a normal basis for normal tourists?
Republican loyal to Trump claims Capitol riot looked more like 'normal tourist visit' The comments by Rep. Andrew Clyde, R-Ga., during a House Oversight Committee marked the latest attempt by some Republicans to revise the narrative around the deadly Capitol riot.

UPDATE: The votes are in. It failed because only 6 Republican Senators voted for it...you can read more on ABC

Democrats needed 10 Republicans to join them to overcome the GOP filibuster but only Sens. Mitt Romney of Utah, Susan Collins of Maine, Murkowski of Alaska, Ben Sasse of Nebraska, Rob Portman of Ohio and Bill Cassidy of Louisiana voted to advance the legislation.

GOP delivered message that cause of PTSD is no big deal

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 22, 2021

**Warning: If you want to consider this political instead of what it is, then you very well could be part of the problem people with PTSD have been dealing with.**

POLITICS EXTREMISM THE CAPITOL ATTACK WAS THE MOST DOCUMENTED CRIME IN HISTORY. WILL THAT ENSURE JUSTICE?
That is the headline on TIME.

To pierce the mass of people gathered there, each group member placed a hand on the back of the person ahead of them—a military-style tactic prosecutors called a “stack.” The group, clad in tactical vests, helmets and radios, forcibly entered through the Capitol rotunda doors, where James and Minuta followed 25 minutes later. “It’s going down, guys; it’s literally going down right now Patriots storming the Capitol building,” said Minuta, according to court documents. “F*cking war in the streets right now… word is they got in the building… let’s go.”

And now there are members of the GOP House and Senate claiming there was no violence and all the invaders were like regular tourists.

GOP efforts to downplay danger of Capitol riot increase, The Hill

Attempts to whitewash the violence of the Jan. 6 insurrection and cast the rioters as sympathetic characters are becoming increasingly common among Republican members of Congress.

Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) this week said it was a “false narrative” to say “there were thousands of armed insurrectionists breaching the Capitol,” while Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) said the rioters charged with crimes were facing overly harsh treatment in jail and questioned why Congress isn’t also investigating liberal protests over racial justice last year that at times turned violent.

Other Republicans in recent days have falsely claimed the rioters weren’t armed and questioned whether people in the mob were really former President Trump’s supporters. One GOP lawmaker compared one image of the Capitol breach to a “normal tourist visit.”

These lies send the message to everyone there that day and to all the people who watched in on TV, that this threat to their lives was no big deal!

If you want to know what it is like to face death that changes your life...consider the event all of us witnessed. The January 6th attack on the US Capitol.

NBC News’ Hallie Jackson sat down with Rep. Dan Kildee, who took that familiar photo of officers with their guns drawn in the House chamber, for an exclusive interview where he opens up about his mental health struggles since the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.

After The Attack, Slate, Christina Cauterucci wrote about what some of them went through that day and afterwards.

“It is hard to know who you can trust.” — Rep. Sara Jacobs

Rep. Grace Meng barricaded in a lounge at the Capitol on Jan. 6. Photo courtesy of Grace Meng

Eventually, the legislators got a text from staff members that the Capitol Police force was overwhelmed and wouldn’t be coming to save them. In that moment, Meng feared for her life. “Thank God we were fine afterward,” Frankel told me. “Physically fine—mentally, I don’t know,” she said with a laugh.

She’s also gotten calls from fellow members of Congress and their staffers, some of whom she barely knows, to check in on her after hearing what she’d gone through. “And I said, ‘I’m fine, I’m good now,’ ” Meng said. “And then they would just break down and cry, or they would just say to me, ‘I’m not OK.’ And some of these are grown men.”

Rep. Lois Frankel

For days after the ordeal, Frankel continued her work while battling extreme exhaustion, as her body and mind recovered from the stress of being trapped in a room with violent agitators outside. When we talked eight days after the attack, Frankel said it was the first day since the riot she hadn’t felt “totally wiped out.” Meng has noticed that she now feels “nervous” when she hears people she can’t see making loud noises outside the room she’s in. She’s also gotten calls from fellow members of Congress and their staffers, some of whom she barely knows, to check in on her after hearing what she’d gone through. “And I said, ‘I’m fine, I’m good now,’ ” Meng said. “And then they would just break down and cry, or they would just say to me, ‘I’m not OK.’ And some of these are grown men.”

Rep. Sara Jacobs

Jacobs had served in Congress all of three days before the insurrection. When the rioters breached the Capitol, she was in the House gallery—the balcony. The few dozen members of Congress and journalists who were up there with her were evacuated after those on the floor of the chamber, which meant a much closer brush with catastrophe. They were the ones photographed in those escape hoods and comforting one another while huddled on the ground. Some members were trapped in the gallery for 15 minutes or more, watching Capitol Police officers move furniture in front of the doors on the House floor, while other law enforcement officers outside the chamber struggled to clear a path through the rioters for their escape.

There are more but this is about Rep. Jason Crow, who was an Army Ranger.

On the Sunday after the riot, the congressional text chain moved to Zoom. Organized by Rep. Pramila Jayapal, D-Washington, members of Congress who had been in the gallery spent a couple of hours talking to one another and a trained counselor. Rep. Jason Crow, D-Colorado, a former Army Ranger who served three tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, was on the video chat. “What he has shared with all of us is that the surge of adrenaline that he had, and the fear that he faced—that we all experienced—was the same as combat,” Kuster said.

Since the siege, Crow has been vocal about this comparison. After a photo of him clutching the hand of Rep. Susan Wild, D-Pennsylvania, on the balcony floor made the rounds, Crow gave several interviews about going “into Ranger mode” in that moment of crisis. For Crow, that meant preparing for the possibility of having to fight off the rioters. He told me he double-checked the locks on the doors in the gallery and readied a pen as a makeshift weapon. He also considered asking one of the Capitol Police officers in the gallery to lend him a firearm—“You never know who’s capable of pulling the trigger until you’re put in that position … and I know that I am capable of doing that if necessary,” he said—but decided against it.

When he’s in Ranger mode, Crow said, “I just kind of box up my emotions and my feelings and put them aside.” But, eventually, those feelings come out. Crow says he’s been trying to harness the anger, anxiety, and fear prompted by the attack into action as Congress works to hold Donald Trump and his allies accountable for the attack. But the “hypervigilance” Crow remembers from his military service is back—even though it’s been 15 years since he felt it last. “I never thought the person I was then, and who I had to be as a combat leader, would ever come back and converge on my current life,” he said, noting that he’s had two children since leaving the Army. “But that is what happened. I had to tap back into that, and those two lives converged again.”

And now you know the message they are hearing from people they work with. Not only not worth investigating but not even worth their time to pay attention or care about their other members. It isn't just a matter of the threat still hanging over their heads, it is the approval of the GOP members who want to pretend it didn't happen for political reasons. 

I remember what it was like almost 40 years ago when I started working on PTSD and ended up having to deal with deluded individuals denying that PTSD was real. Nothing would get them open their eyes and see the truth. I often wonder how many people they ended up destroying in the process because of their ignorance. Lies make wounds deeper. 

When I hear elected officials lie about what happened, for political reasons, I am sickened because I know their lies cause more suffering. Not just to the other members, but to everyone in this entire country trying to recover from PTSD.

Without accountability and finding out exactly who was behind and involved in all of this, it can happen again. The thing that escapes most people is, the threat that the member of the House and Senate, know all too well it can, will prevent them from healing.

How do I know this? Because the threat to my life did not end in my life until my ex-husband died. There was no accountability for him. There was no closure for me until I got the obituary notice clipping from my cousin in the mail after I had moved over 1,300 miles and more than a decade after that.

For me, it was only one person. 

For members of the House and Senate, it was not just the people who invaded the Capitol seeking to harm and kill them. Oh no, it is now worse because other members they serve with are supporting what was done and attempting to dismiss it all as nothing to be addressed. The members of the Capitol Police Force are also dealing with that fact, knowing their lives don't matter enough for those they risk their lives for, do not even want to seek the truth for their sake.

If we do nothing but let it just happen to all of them, it will continue to cause more wounds. It is time for all of us to demand accountability and hold those who perpetrated this responsible.

To all the members of the House and Senate, their staffs, Capitol Police and workers, seek healing and know that most of the nation is behind you.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

We’re Not Gonna Take It

Twisted Sister

We're not gonna take it

Oh no, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

We've got the right to choose it

There ain't no way we'll lose it

This is our life, this is our song

We'll fight the powers that be just

Don't pick our destiny 'cause

You don't know us, you don't belong

We're not gonna take it

Oh no, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

Oh, you're so condescending

Your gall is never ending

We don't want nothin', not a thing from you

Your life is trite and jaded

Boring and confiscated

If that's your best, your best won't do

Sing it

We're right, yeah

We're free, yeah

We'll fight, yeah

You'll see

We're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

We're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

No way

Yeah

Sing it

We're right, yeah

We're free, yeah

We'll fight, yeah

You'll see

Sing it for me, Jersey

We're not gonna take it (come on)

No, we ain't gonna take it (louder)

We're not gonna take it anymore

We're not gonna take it

Oh no, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

Sing it, sing it, sing

We're not gonna take it (louder)

No, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

One more, one more, one more

We're not gonna take it (what)

No, we ain't gonna take it (yeah)

We're not gonna take it anymore

And don't you take it either

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Dee Snider

We’re Not Gonna Take It lyrics © Universal Tunes, Snidest Music Co.

Violence Against Women Act...for women like me!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 19, 2021 

"And I've been down there on the floor" when my ex-husband decided I needed to die. It wasn't bad enough he came home from work, started another argument like always, but this time, he decided to hit me. I hit back. Ten minutes later, after grabbing whatever I could to hit him with, being chased from room to room and screaming for help, he got me on the floor, got on top of me with his hands on my neck and tried to strangle me. It was the first time he hit me...and the last.

He stalked me for about a year, as far as I was aware. He drove muscle cars, so as soon as I heard the sound of an engine like that, it all came back. Nightmares, flashbacks, mood swings, paranoia and panic. About 2 years after it happened, I met my current husband. We dated about a year and a half when we decided to get married. I had to get in touch with my ex-husband for the annulment because I wanted to get married in the church again. The next day, he walked over to my husband to be and introduced himself. 

That was even worse for me because then I knew for sure, when I thought I was free of him and safe from him, I really wasn't. There is no way he would have know who I was marrying if he hadn't been following us all that time.

Years later, we moved from Massachusetts to Florida. Even down there, the sound would cause instant panic and all that came with it. It wasn't until my cousin sent me his obituary notice from the newspaper letting me know I was finally free of him, that I knew he would never hurt me again.

It wasn't until last year when my daughter and I were talking about this and she said, "You never told me you had PTSD." I said, "I didn't." Then she let me know that was exactly what I said I had. All those years I was in a sort of denial, even though I had become and expert on PTSD and dedicated almost 40 years to helping others heal. The thing was, all the research I did, never once had what I was dealing with. I saw two therapists and they didn't see it in me. Maybe researchers need to start looking at that too.

Anyway, I am telling you all this because the Violence Against Women Act has passed the House. It is up to the Senate to pass it now. If you don't think it is important because you do not know anyone it happened to, you do now. If you are reading this, then it means you know what I do and why I do it, but now you cannot ignore the price paid by women like me when the laws were much different. There was nothing there for me and very few resources. 

This Act will provide justice but there are some in the Senate saying they will not support it. I am asking you to contact your Senator and ask them if they will support this and if not, ask them why they are defending the abusers, because that is exactly what they are doing.

Now you know too much to go back and pretend, so please don't let us go down that road again. Let the Senate hear you roar in numbers too big to ignore~

House Renews Violence Against Women Act, But Senate Hurdles Remain
NPR
Susan Davis
March 17, 2021
The House approved with bipartisan support a reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, a popular 1994 law that protects and provides resources for victims of domestic abuse and sexual violence. The measure passed 244-172.

As a senator, President Biden played a lead role in passing the landmark law, which he recently called "one of my proudest legislative achievements."

The law was last reauthorized in 2013, but it lapsed at the end of 2018 after Congress failed to act due to partisan disputes over guns and transgender issues. The lapse has had little practical effect because Congress continues to fund related programs despite the lack of authorization.

The core legislation has broad support, but certain provisions added to the bill in the previous Congress exposed divisions among Republicans. In 2019, the House passed the measure with 33 Republicans voting with Democrats, but it was never brought up in the then-GOP-led Senate.
read more here

Rep. Debbie Dingell also knows what it is like. (Detriot News)

Dingell has openly discussed growing up in a household where she lived with domestic violence, noting statistics that 1 in 15 children also witness domestic violence.

"We don't forget about hiding in closets. Or our father taking locks off of doors. Or my grabbing a gun from my father, so he wouldn't kill my mother, and being convinced that we would die," Dingell said of her early life with her siblings.

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore

And I know too much to go back an' pretend

'Cause I've heard it all before

And I've been down there on the floor

No one's ever gonna keep me down again

I Am Woman

Helen Reddy

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore

And I know too much to go back an' pretend

'Cause I've heard it all before

And I've been down there on the floor

No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

You can bend but never break me

'Cause it only serves to make me

More determined to achieve my final goal

And I come back even stronger

Not a novice any longer

'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

I am woman watch me grow

See me standing toe to toe

As I spread my lovin' arms across the land

But I'm still an embryo

With a long long way to go

Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to I can face anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

Oh, I am woman

I am invincible

I am strong

I am woman

I am invincible

I am strong

I am woman

Source: Musixmatch

I Am Woman lyrics © Buggerlugs Music Co., Irving Music, Inc. 

I was on Choose Rochester New Hampshire Podcast and talking about this along with the work I do.

PTSD Patrol We Need Highway to Healing

PTSD Pzartol
Kathie Costos
October 12, 2020

Today the feature video is Twisted Sister We're Not Gonna Take It because anyone dealing with PTSD has had enough of the talk from our elected officials. We're tired of them telling us we have a problem when WE LIVE WITH IT and are tied of them telling us what they did hasn't worked but their are going to do more of the same. This is all BS!

The Senate proved they can do what they want as fast as they want with the hearing on the Supreme Court nominee, but they didn't see the need to hold hearings on the pandemic that is killing all of us and making PTSD worse! ENOUGH! These yahoos want our votes and it is about time we make them earn them!

I hope I am in a better mood tomorrow.... #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife FROM OUR CONGRESS!

Oh, we're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it

Oh, we're not gonna take it anymore

We've got the right to choose it

There ain't no way we'll lose it

This is our life, this is our song

We'll fight the powers that be, just

Don't pick our destiny 'cause

You don't know us, you don't belong

Oh, we're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it

Oh, we're not gonna take it anymore

Oh, you're so condescending

Your gall is never ending

We don't want nothin', not a thing from you

Your life is trite and jaded

Boring and confiscated

If that's your best, your best won't do

Whoa, oh oh

Whoa, oh oh

We're right (yeah)

We're free (yeah)

We'll fight (yeah)

You'll see (yeah)

Whoa, whoa, we're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it

Oh, we're not gonna take it anymore

We're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it

Oh, we're not gonna take it anymore

No way

Whoa, oh oh

Whoa, oh oh

We're right (yeah)

We're free (yeah)

We'll fight (yeah)

You'll see (yeah)

We're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

We're not gonna take it (no)

No, we ain't gonna take it

we're not gonna take it anymore

Just you try and make us

We're not gonna take it

(Come on!)

No, we ain't gonna take it

(You're all worthless and weak)

We're not gonna take it anymore

(Now drop and give me twenty)

We're not gonna take it

(A pledge pin)

No, we ain't gonna take it

(On your uniform)

We're not gonna take it anymore

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Daniel Dee Snider

We're Not Gonna Take It lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group 

You're watching the official music video for Twisted Sister - "We're Not Gonna Take it" from the album 'Stay Hungry' (1984). "We're Not Gonna Take it" has been covered by Donots, "Weird Al" Yankovic, and Lit among others, and has been featured in a number of television commercials and shows.