It is Memorial Day weekend and I always get reflective. My Dad and all my uncles, first generation Americans, fought in 2 wars. My husband's Dad and uncles, also first generation Americans, fought in WWII, and he fought in Vietnam.
They were all raised to understand how important it was to fight for something they believed in. They believed in this country. Each one of them paid a price for their service. Some of them lost buddies. Each year, we would go to parades and cemeteries to acknowledge their service. When I was young, I never thought about the day when I would to go cemeteries to visit their graves.
There is so much we can learn by what they did and what they did it for. They did it for each other, for their families and for the future. Please forgive me if the reflections I have had over the last few months bother you but considering how the majority of the American people feel, I am no different.
While this nation seems to be one way, the truth is, only some are. Those who want answers and accountability, are the majority, but for years everyone assumed I was a Republican because I associated with them in veterans groups. I never felt free to say what I believed. My job was to help veterans and families with PTSD and I was forced to put that first.
I had to listen to them saying how much they hated Democrats. Tell all kinds of lies they believed were true and then pretend that they were not political when they wanted new members.
The thing is, my Dad, my uncles were all Democrats. My Mom and aunts were. Yet I had to hear what the people I spent so much time with actually thought about the people I loved the most....sad. I had to listen to them talk about how much they would have hated the people I loved...and how much they would have hated me.
No matter what I did to help people, including them, none of that mattered as soon as I stopped being silent and said what I thought. None of them ever thought about how what they said all those years hurt me, or made me feel.
This is why today the featured video is Change, Christina Aguilera.
If you have PTSD, especially if you have PTSD, taking back your life means being able to speak your mind. Being free to express yourself is a real freedom and generation after generation of men and women risked their lives to protect that right. Some of them were Republican and some, like my family, were Democrats. None of that mattered when they were serving side by side and willing to die for those they were with. Today, somehow that changed into something I no longer recognize as such, especially after what happened at the Senate today when only 6 Republicans voted for the investigation into what happened when the Capital itself was attacked.
Freedom is empowering, but only if you use it. So when you hear someone in your life, talk about how much they hate, talk about those you loved and honor that love. Do it "for all the brave souls who went before us" and then, if necessary, walk away from them. You do not need that kind of oppression in your life. There was a time when I would have said to just set the political divide aside, but those days are long gone. One day, we may return to a time when differences made us stronger because we valued each other instead of constantly hearing how much we are hated for what we believe.
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
This is how you #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife
Change
Christina Aguilera
When I was young I would look in the mirror
Didn't know it then but now it couldn't be clearer
I remember being filled with such wonder
Before learning that the world could be harsher
Who
Who you love or the color of your skin
Or the place that you were born and grew up in
Shouldn't decide how you will be treated
Cause we're all the same when everybody's breathing
Waiting for a change to set us free
Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me
Waiting for hope to come around
Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found
Waiting for a change,
Waiting for a change
Change, change...
For all the brave and the souls who went before us
Stand tall be proud and lift your voices
Let 'em know who we are and our choices
And one day we won't have to sing this chorus
Waiting for a change to set us free
Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me
Waiting for hope to come around
Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found
Waiting for a change,
Waiting for a change
Change, change...
Hold on
Waiting for a change
Change
When I was young I would look in the mirror
Didn't see it then but now it couldn't be clearer
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Christina Aguilera / Martin Terefe / Jake Hagood / Florian Reutter
Yesterday Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick's Mother paid a visit to GOP members of the Senate begging them to vote for the investigation as to who was behind the attack so that people would be held accountable for what they did leading to his death, and injuries of the other officers, and the threat that is still hanging over all of them that it can happen again.
If Republicans refuse to have the investigation into the Capitol attack, remember their names as much as we remember what they already said.
"There is no question, done, that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the event of the day." That is what Mitch McConnell said before he tried to explain why he voted against impeaching Trump for it.
One by one, Republicans who were repulsed by what happened, on that horrible day, decided that it was time to just move on and forget about it. What made all of this worse, is what they ended up doing and saying afterwards. Now, they are trying to block holding people accountable for it by investigating exactly what happened. That is what is owed to the American people and all those who serve the people in the People's House.
“If you didn't know that TV footage was a video from January the sixth, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit.” Rep. Andrew Clyde
“As one of the members who stayed in the Capitol, and on the House floor, who with other Republican colleagues helped barricade the door until almost 3 p.m. from the mob who tried to enter, I can tell you the House floor was never breached and it was not an insurrection. This is the truth,” Clyde claimed.
UPDATE: The votes are in. It failed because only 6 Republican Senators voted for it...you can read more on ABC
Democrats needed 10 Republicans to join them to overcome the GOP filibuster but only Sens. Mitt Romney of Utah, Susan Collins of Maine, Murkowski of Alaska, Ben Sasse of Nebraska, Rob Portman of Ohio and Bill Cassidy of Louisiana voted to advance the legislation.
**Warning: If you want to consider this political instead of what it is, then you very well could be part of the problem people with PTSD have been dealing with.**
POLITICS EXTREMISM THE CAPITOL ATTACK WAS THE MOST DOCUMENTED CRIME IN HISTORY. WILL THAT ENSURE JUSTICE?
That is the headline on TIME.
To pierce the mass of people gathered there, each group member placed a hand on the back of the person ahead of them—a military-style tactic prosecutors called a “stack.” The group, clad in tactical vests, helmets and radios, forcibly entered through the Capitol rotunda doors, where James and Minuta followed 25 minutes later. “It’s going down, guys; it’s literally going down right now Patriots storming the Capitol building,” said Minuta, according to court documents. “F*cking war in the streets right now… word is they got in the building… let’s go.”
And now there are members of the GOP House and Senate claiming there was no violence and all the invaders were like regular tourists.
Attempts to whitewash the violence of the Jan. 6 insurrection and cast the rioters as sympathetic characters are becoming increasingly common among Republican members of Congress.
Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) this week said it was a “false narrative” to say “there were thousands of armed insurrectionists breaching the Capitol,” while Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) said the rioters charged with crimes were facing overly harsh treatment in jail and questioned why Congress isn’t also investigating liberal protests over racial justice last year that at times turned violent.
Other Republicans in recent days have falsely claimed the rioters weren’t armed and questioned whether people in the mob were really former President Trump’s supporters. One GOP lawmaker compared one image of the Capitol breach to a “normal tourist visit.”
These lies send the message to everyone there that day and to all the people who watched in on TV, that this threat to their lives was no big deal!
If you want to know what it is like to face death that changes your life...consider the event all of us witnessed. The January 6th attack on the US Capitol.
NBC News’ Hallie Jackson sat down with Rep. Dan Kildee, who took that familiar photo of officers with their guns drawn in the House chamber, for an exclusive interview where he opens up about his mental health struggles since the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.
After The Attack, Slate, Christina Cauterucci wrote about what some of them went through that day and afterwards.
“It is hard to know who you can trust.”
— Rep. Sara Jacobs
Rep. Grace Meng barricaded in a lounge at the Capitol on Jan. 6. Photo courtesy of Grace Meng
Eventually, the legislators got a text from staff members that the Capitol Police force was overwhelmed and wouldn’t be coming to save them. In that moment, Meng feared for her life. “Thank God we were fine afterward,” Frankel told me. “Physically fine—mentally, I don’t know,” she said with a laugh.
She’s also gotten calls from fellow members of Congress and their staffers, some of whom she barely knows, to check in on her after hearing what she’d gone through. “And I said, ‘I’m fine, I’m good now,’ ” Meng said. “And then they would just break down and cry, or they would just say to me, ‘I’m not OK.’ And some of these are grown men.”
Rep. Lois Frankel
For days after the ordeal, Frankel continued her work while battling extreme exhaustion, as her body and mind recovered from the stress of being trapped in a room with violent agitators outside. When we talked eight days after the attack, Frankel said it was the first day since the riot she hadn’t felt “totally wiped out.” Meng has noticed that she now feels “nervous” when she hears people she can’t see making loud noises outside the room she’s in. She’s also gotten calls from fellow members of Congress and their staffers, some of whom she barely knows, to check in on her after hearing what she’d gone through. “And I said, ‘I’m fine, I’m good now,’ ” Meng said. “And then they would just break down and cry, or they would just say to me, ‘I’m not OK.’ And some of these are grown men.”
Rep. Sara Jacobs
Jacobs had served in Congress all of three days before the insurrection. When the rioters breached the Capitol, she was in the House gallery—the balcony. The few dozen members of Congress and journalists who were up there with her were evacuated after those on the floor of the chamber, which meant a much closer brush with catastrophe. They were the ones photographed in those escape hoods and comforting one another while huddled on the ground. Some members were trapped in the gallery for 15 minutes or more, watching Capitol Police officers move furniture in front of the doors on the House floor, while other law enforcement officers outside the chamber struggled to clear a path through the rioters for their escape.
There are more but this is about Rep. Jason Crow, who was an Army Ranger.
On the Sunday after the riot, the congressional text chain moved to Zoom. Organized by Rep. Pramila Jayapal, D-Washington, members of Congress who had been in the gallery spent a couple of hours talking to one another and a trained counselor. Rep. Jason Crow, D-Colorado, a former Army Ranger who served three tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, was on the video chat. “What he has shared with all of us is that the surge of adrenaline that he had, and the fear that he faced—that we all experienced—was the same as combat,” Kuster said.
Since the siege, Crow has been vocal about this comparison. After a photo of him clutching the hand of Rep. Susan Wild, D-Pennsylvania, on the balcony floor made the rounds, Crow gave several interviews about going “into Ranger mode” in that moment of crisis. For Crow, that meant preparing for the possibility of having to fight off the rioters. He told me he double-checked the locks on the doors in the gallery and readied a pen as a makeshift weapon. He also considered asking one of the Capitol Police officers in the gallery to lend him a firearm—“You never know who’s capable of pulling the trigger until you’re put in that position … and I know that I am capable of doing that if necessary,” he said—but decided against it.
When he’s in Ranger mode, Crow said, “I just kind of box up my emotions and my feelings and put them aside.” But, eventually, those feelings come out. Crow says he’s been trying to harness the anger, anxiety, and fear prompted by the attack into action as Congress works to hold Donald Trump and his allies accountable for the attack. But the “hypervigilance” Crow remembers from his military service is back—even though it’s been 15 years since he felt it last. “I never thought the person I was then, and who I had to be as a combat leader, would ever come back and converge on my current life,” he said, noting that he’s had two children since leaving the Army. “But that is what happened. I had to tap back into that, and those two lives converged again.”
And now you know the message they are hearing from people they work with. Not only not worth investigating but not even worth their time to pay attention or care about their other members. It isn't just a matter of the threat still hanging over their heads, it is the approval of the GOP members who want to pretend it didn't happen for political reasons.
I remember what it was like almost 40 years ago when I started working on PTSD and ended up having to deal with deluded individuals denying that PTSD was real. Nothing would get them open their eyes and see the truth. I often wonder how many people they ended up destroying in the process because of their ignorance. Lies make wounds deeper.
When I hear elected officials lie about what happened, for political reasons, I am sickened because I know their lies cause more suffering. Not just to the other members, but to everyone in this entire country trying to recover from PTSD.
Without accountability and finding out exactly who was behind and involved in all of this, it can happen again. The thing that escapes most people is, the threat that the member of the House and Senate, know all too well it can, will prevent them from healing.
How do I know this? Because the threat to my life did not end in my life until my ex-husband died. There was no accountability for him. There was no closure for me until I got the obituary notice clipping from my cousin in the mail after I had moved over 1,300 miles and more than a decade after that.
For me, it was only one person.
For members of the House and Senate, it was not just the people who invaded the Capitol seeking to harm and kill them. Oh no, it is now worse because other members they serve with are supporting what was done and attempting to dismiss it all as nothing to be addressed. The members of the Capitol Police Force are also dealing with that fact, knowing their lives don't matter enough for those they risk their lives for, do not even want to seek the truth for their sake.
If we do nothing but let it just happen to all of them, it will continue to cause more wounds. It is time for all of us to demand accountability and hold those who perpetrated this responsible.
To all the members of the House and Senate, their staffs, Capitol Police and workers, seek healing and know that most of the nation is behind you.
When you are hurting, and surrounded by people who are happy, it can make your pain stronger. You may wonder what the hell you did wrong to feel so miserable. You may think about how it would be easy to pretend you are happy too. Then it dawns on you, they may be pretending too. "Everybody hurts, sometimes." This is why the featured video for today is R.E.M. Everybody Hurts.
Sometimes just knowing we are not alone helps ease our pain. Sometimes it takes someone showing us kindness, reminding us that we do matter, that helps. The thing is, once we see that everybody hurts, we realize that everyone is not always what they seem to be.
Members of Congress are starting to talk more about what they went through during the Capitol riot. Think about how many people were there that horrible day. All the members of the Senate and their staff. All the members of the House and their staff. The Capitol police officers and reporters were there too. How many do you think are struggling but are afraid to ask for help because most of the people are hiding their own pain? The ones who are talking are giving the others permission to stop hiding what they are going through.
"This is not something I ever expected to experience — not something that I anticipated," Kildee said. "But I'm just really grateful we connected and I got help when I needed it the most."
On Twitter afterwards, the lawmaker recognized many people deal with PTSD "quietly, privately, painfully, silently and alone."
"Too often, there is a stigma attached with seeking help," Kildee wrote. "That needs to change."
Most people with PTSD struggle with struggling. It is almost as if they admit they are not OK, others will feel sorry for them, or think they are weak, defective in some way. The thing is not wanting them to worry about you, isn't rational because they already are worried about you. If they know you, then they know you are not acting like "you" and are probably already worried about you. They'll worry because you are not telling them you need help, or even trust them enough to talk to them.
Needing help and wanting it are two different things. No one wants to go through something like the attack on the Capitol. No one wants to have to suffer after it was over. No one wants to wake up in the middle of the night from terrible nightmares, or see it all come back in flashbacks. No one wants to push people out of their lives at the same time they need them in it. No one wants panic attacks, mood swings, paranoia, rage or sadness so deep they no longer find joy in anything. No one wants to drink themself into mindless numbness so they stop feeling everything. No one wants their kids to be afraid of a parent during a overreaction to everything that happens, or to blame themselves because they think it is their fault it is happening.
So, is it you don't need help, or you don't want to ask for it? If you have that going on in your life, then why in the hell wouldn't you want help?
Today is a good day to focus on what happened in Washington on January 6, because yesterday was a reminder of it when another Capitol Police Officer William Evans was killed and another was injured to the point where he had to be hospitalized.
There is so much that does not get covered when major news stories come out and that is how so many people who were not there, will also see their lives changed because they cared about the people who were involved.
Mother of injured Capitol officer: What my son went through will leave an imprint on my mind forever
All have mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, sisters and brothers, and children who will experience the traumatic impact associated with this day for a very long time.
KAKE News
Opinion by Theresa J. Fanone
Thursday, April 1st 2021
Donald Trump recently said that his supporters who stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6 were "hugging and kissing" police officers and posed "zero threat."
My experience of that day, and every day since, has been significantly different.
My son, Michael Fanone, is a 20 year veteran of the Metropolitan Police Department, assigned to the First District. I knew there was a rally planned for Jan. 6. All leave had been canceled. This was to be an "all hands on deck" event. Michael was scheduled to work his regular shift but left for work early that day.
I had been listening and watching on television the speeches at Trump's "Save America" rally. More and more, my anxiety grew as I saw the enormous crowd and listened to the negativity and tone of the rhetoric expressed by all speakers. For me, it evoked fear and sounded like the speakers were advocating for a threatening confrontation.
Terror, horror, anger, fear and rage do not begin to capture the emotions I felt that day, wondering which police officer's face belonged to my son. I prayed --- for my son and all the sons, daughters, fathers and mothers who were present that day. Watching the beatings, suffering, fear and confusion on these officers' faces will leave an indelible imprint on my mind forever. read more here
There were 800 people who stormed into the Capitol and every member of the House and Senate, plus their staff, were terrorized by them, but all of them had people who care about them watching and worrying while helplessly watching it on TV. Families of the officers trying to protect the Capitol were also watching it happen. Many of them have the same emotional price as Officer Fanone's Mom.
And then there are the people who care about those who decided to do this terrible thing. How many of them will be changed by what they witnessed their family members did? How do you come to terms with any of this?
California man charged with attacking officer with stun weapon in Capitol riot
NBC News
By Phil Helsel
April 1, 2021
A Southern California man has been indicted on charges that he attacked a police officer with an "electroshock weapon" during the Jan. 6 riot at the U.S. Capitol by a pro-Trump mob, prosecutors said Thursday.
Daniel Rodriguez, 38, of Fontana, was arrested Wednesday, the U.S. Attorney's Office for the District of Columbia said.
He is accused of attacking Metropolitan Police Officer Michael Fanone during the assault on the Capitol as Congress was formally counting the electoral votes affirming President Joe Biden's win.
Fanone has described being beaten by the mob and shocked with a stun gun repeatedly, and he has said some in the crowd chanted, "Kill him with his own gun."
"I was being beaten with a thin blue line flag — which, you know, how ironic is that?" Fanone told NBC Washington in January. The flag is generally seen as supportive of law enforcement. He said he suffered a mild heart attack.
read more here
We may never know the true numbers of people who had their lives changed in those horrible hours. What we do know is that there will be many emotional wounds and will be in need of help to heal those scars. This was a mass casualty event.
The sooner you seek help to heal, the better your recovery will be. You had no control over what happened and as hard as it is to believe, you did not control what others decided to do. You only have the power to do what you can from every moment afterwards.
The best time to seek help is NOW!
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Don't Dream It's Over Live (HQ)
Crowded House
There is freedom within
There is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead
Many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're travelling with me
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
Now I'm towing my car
There's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion
But there's no proof
In the paper today
Tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the TV page
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
Now I'm walking again
To the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Today is not one of those chair dancing days. News came out that another of the DC Capitol Police Officers has taken their own life. That is two gone to suicide and another died after being beaten.
CNN Acting Metropolitan Police Chief Robert J. Contee told the House Appropriations Committee on Tuesday that two police officers have died by suicide since responding to the riot at the Capitol on January 6, according to Contee's opening statement before the committee, which was obtained by CNN.
This is the first time the force has confirmed that two officers took their own lives after the attack.
"Tragically, two officers who were at the Capitol on January 6th, one each from the Capitol Police and MPD, took their own lives in the aftermath of that battle," Contee said in his statement.
Surviving trauma can suck for a while. Surviving it when there is betrayal involved is even worse. Trust in others has been lost. If the survivor needs to talk, which is vital to healing, they do not know who to trust.
If you know someone who seems to be hurting, let them know you are there for them...the shut up and listen to them. Give them whatever time they need while paying attention to them...and only them. Do not try to fix them by doing anything other than helping them know you are there for them.
I know this in my own life because all the times I survived, I had people I could talk to. They listened until I was done talking...and often it was days or weeks later. They were my family and knew nothing about psychology. I was able to feel safe and start to deal with it.
They gave lousy advice, but just be prepared for that, because all you need to know from them is, you matter to them. Trust will return but it will take time.
When I needed more help than they could give, I saw a therapist and it helped too!
Remember, it is your life...get in a drive it and if you know someone who needs help...get in and drive it to them!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Because of the two officers who died by suicide, this is for them.
Sarah McLachlan New "Angel" Video and PSA
The Pretenders - I'll Stand By You
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Thomas Kelly / Christine Hynde / Billy Steinberg
