guide to take back our life

June 26, 2021

The new site for PTSD Patrol is up and running. New blog posts will begin there on June 27, 2021. This site will remain up.

the oldest pandemic this nation has ever seen

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 22, 2021

Last year I went to the New Hampshire veterans cemetery for the first time on Memorial Day. As I walked around, I thought about all the veterans in my family who passed away, as well as the two veterans I was walking with. My husband and his best friend are both Vietnam veterans.

When I came upon this memorial, I had to catch a couple of tears falling. The empty place where the service member is saluting, got to me.

It was around that time when I was debating about giving up working with veterans. No matter how hard I tried, or how much I knew, it seemed as if I was fighting everyone I knew in the veteran community. Most of them were latched onto the slogan of "22 a day" and wouldn't let go of the notion that suicide awareness was a good thing to do. How could they believe that letting suicidal veterans hear about others giving up would offer them anything but more despair?

It was too late to change their minds and I had been doing this work for too long to be able to deal with the deadly results of ignorance. My heart was being ripped out every time I read another report of another suicide.

No one wanted to hear what needed to be done, anymore than they wanted to hear about the decades of failures to address the oldest pandemic this nation has ever seen...suicides carried out by those who valued the lives of others so much so, they were willing to die to save them.

I got into all of this in 1982 and focused on Vietnam veterans with PTSD, but the truth is, they had only become the latest generation to join the others going back to when this nation began. What I didn't know back then was there would be more wars.

It felt as if I was fighting this one all alone as soon as people started to read news reports in 2012. Soon after that, the awareness groups started popping up and eroding the ability for veterans to find people like me.

And now, maybe you'll understand why I gave up on what I had dedicated my life to almost 4 decades ago.

read more here

While all the "awareness" people were talking about, a number when they didn't even understand the report it came from, I was talking about changing the conversation. This is from an interview I did in 2012.

That was what they needed to hear, but I guess I stopped being good enough to get them to hear me. 

I fought them until last year and then I opened this up to anyone with PTSD. If you are in the military, a veteran, or a member of any of the responder positions, this work is for you too. No matter what caused PTSD in you, you are still only human like the rest of us.

Today the featured video is Neil Diamond, He Ain't Heavy because helping people with PTSD heal should not be a burden for any of us.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

Neil Diamond

The road is long with many awaiting turns

That lead us to who knows where,

Who knows where

But I'm strong,

Strong enough to carry him

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So long we go

His welfare is my concern

No burden is he to bare, we'll get there

For I know

He would not encumber me

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If Im laden at all,

I I am laden with sadness that

Everyone's heart isn't filled with the gladness

I am alone for one and other

It's so long long road

From which there is no return

While we're on the way to live why not share

And the load doesn't weigh me down at all

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He's my brother

He ain't heavy

He's my brother

He's my brother

He ain't heavy

He's my brother

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: B. Russell / B. Scott

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother lyrics © Music Sales Corporation, Music Sales Corp. 

Thank you for your patience

 

My new site for PTSD Patrol is up and running. Still some tweaking to do, but it is almost where I want it to be.

New email is Kathie@ptsdpatrol.com

While working on the new site, I thought about starting a new blog but decided this one has already been established, so it will remain open.  I should begin to start posting again in a day or so.

Thank you for your patience.

I won't give up if you don't give up

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 20, 2021

Something happened to my site and I am building a new PTSDPatrol.com site. I won't be posting for a few days here while I build the site. It will take some time because I am rusty (and old)

This is what the new site will look like. The last thing I needed was to spend more money on what I do for free! I believe it is worth it after almost 4 decades of making this my life's mission. 

If this work helps you, and you want to help, I have a Facebook fundraiser to help me make back some of the money I just spent. I can't help anyone else if they cannot find me.

Check back in a few days for the notice that PTSD Patrol is up and running. 

Calling All Angels

Train 

I need a sign to let me know you're here

All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere

I need to know that things are gonna look up

'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head

When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I need a sign to let me know you're here

'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear

I want a reason for the way things have to be

I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don't disappear

While private eyes solve marriage lies 'cause we don't talk for years

And football teams are kissing Queens and losing sight of having dreams

In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: James Stafford / Scott Underwood / Pat Monahan / Charles Colin

Calling All Angels lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Preventing too late

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 16, 2021

What if you could prevent "too late" from happening? Too late to say you're sorry from filling you with regret? Too late to say you love someone who may need to hear it? Or too late to let them know they matter to you, pick up the phone and call them or just be willing to listen to them?

What if you are the one who is thinking about ending the pain on your terms but instead of reaching out one more time to people who care about you, you decide to just keep it from them? You cannot change "it" when it is too late, but you can prevent it from happening.

Today the featured video is James Taylor, Fire And Rain. "Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you," is heartbreaking but what makes is sadder is when he sings, "but I always thought that I'd see you again."

It is something that stays with you the rest of your life and if you are the one who is like Suzanne, then you will leave that pain in people who may have changed your life, before your changed theirs to be filled with never ending questions they will never have answers for.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Fire And Rain

James Taylor 

Just yesterday mornin', they let me know you were gone

Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you

I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song

I just can't remember who to send it to

I've seen fire and I've seen rain

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend

But I always thought that I'd see you again

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus?

You've got to help me make a stand

You've just got to see me through another day

My body's aching and my time is at hand

And I won't make it any other way

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend

But I always thought that I'd see you again

Been walking my mind to an easy time

My back turned towards the sun

Lord knows, when the cold wind blows

It'll turn your head around

Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line

To talk about things to come

Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend

But I always thought that I'd see you, baby

One more time again, now

Thought I'd see you one more time again

There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now

Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you, fire and rain, now

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Taylor James V

Fire And Rain lyrics © Emi Blackwood Music Inc., Country Road Music

Show me the way

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 4, 2021

When you are alone and lost, what do you do? You pray to be shown the way out. If you are with someone, and they can figure it out, that is wonderful. What if they are just as lost as you are? Then both of you need to be shown the way out.

There are things I pray for, that only God can do. There are things I pray for, that I know I have to do. When that is my job, I pray God shows me the way. The fact is, I am not smart enough to do or say a lot of things that come out of me. The only place they can come from is God. That is why the featured song is Styx, Show Me The Way. I found it on YouTube this morning.

Show Me The Way

Styx 

Every night I say a prayer in the hope that there's a heaven

And every day I'm more confused as the saints turn into sinners

All the heroes and legends I knew as a child have fallen to idols of clay

And I feel this empty place inside so afraid that I've lost my faith

Show me the way, show me the way

Take me tonight to the river

And wash my illusions away

Show me the way

And as I slowly drift to sleep, for a moment dreams are sacred

I close my eyes and know there's peace in a world so filled with hatred

That I wake up each morning and turn on the news to find we've so far to go

And I keep on hoping for a sign, so afraid that I just won't know

Show me the way, Show me the way

Bring me tonight to the mountain

And take my confusion away

And show me the way

And if I see your light, should I believe

Tell me how will I know

Show me the way, show me the way

Take me tonight to the river

And wash my illusions away

Show me the way, show me the way

Give me the strength and the courage

To believe that I'll get there someday

And please show me the way

Every night I say a prayer

In the hope that there's a heaven

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dennis Deyoung

Show Me the Way lyrics © Wixen Music Publishing

When I listened to the lyrics, it was as if God hit the play button. I have no doubt there is a Heaven. I've seen too many miracles in my lifetime to think otherwise. I have seen average people, step up over and over again, changing lives and healing the sick. That drive inside of them, to even contemplate some of those jobs, was in there from the start and was carried within their souls. God showed them the way.

I know there are times when someone needs help and I don't have a clue what I should say to comfort them. All of a sudden, the words come and they know things will get better for them. I know the answer came from God. Does He speak to my soul? I don't know but I do know I am not smart enough to figure it would on my own.

PTSD Patrol started out to show you the way out of hopelessness and how to get to the help you need. To give you comfort so you know that you are not alone and don't have to stay feeling like you are lost. To let you know that you do have the power within you to #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD. 

I knew a long time ago it had to be done by taking care of your mind, body and your spirit. That is how miracles happen. I also learned a long time ago, that when we ask to be shown the way out of whatever mess we're in, we need to get our egos out of the way. I get lost a lot of times too and I don't know what to do. I need Him to guide me, especially, as my daughter says, I get lost getting out of a paper bag.

Pray for the big things you do not have the power to do, like what evil and horrible people do. You will know God is real when they either lose their power to do more harm, or they are changed. Pray for what you need inside of you, and it will be delivered. Pray for God to show you the way and be willing to follow where He leads you.

Remember, it is your life...get and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

What's too painful to remember

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 28, 2021

When you hear the song The Way We Were, what do you think about? Was it your relationship with someone else that ended? For me, it was the relationship I had with myself. Those days are now too painful to remember.

What is too painful for you to remember? Is it the life you had before "it" happened? Is it the way you used to think when you the life you were used to, was still the way it usually was? How about you know there is another time ahead for you? A time can come when you are happier and think of the days you were miserable as "too painful to remember" instead. That is what can happen when you heal.

I know I have to share things that happened in my past so that you are able to know what I dealt with, what I struggled with and how I healed. The events and residual left behind, were hard. It makes me sad to even think about those days. It is a lot better for me to talk about happier times, like now.

I don't live there anymore. All the events, the heartaches and misery are in the past. I don't dwell on them but this work has me remembering a lot of those times when I need to. Once I get out what I have to, I usually play a computer game or watch TV, and then I am done with that memory.

You have to make sense out of what happened and understand you had no power over "it" happening but you have power over it as a survivor now. Then you have to make peace with it. It takes a lot of work, but you can get there. You have to forgive yourself for whatever you got wrong up to this point because we are all just humans, untrained to deal with anything that isn't part of our usual life. We have to learn what has been haunting us, hurting us, is no longer in control. It doesn't deserve to be in our lives now. The only power PTSD has is what we allow it to have.

Once you understand PTSD, then you gain even more power over it. It ends up being drained out of you. While there are some parts of it left behind, there are tools to cope with what you cannot totally rid yourself of, but for the most part, each and everyday is what you will make out of it.

I've already healed and so can you. I left most of those days behind me because I'm too busy looking ahead to the next moment. That comes with practice and patience. It also comes with an understanding of myself. I know I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, as much as I know I wanted to learn all I could to discover what, if any, power I had. The more I learned, the more power I had over my own life and that, that is because I don't want to go back to the way I was instead of move to to what I can become.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Way We Were

Barbra Streisand

Memories

Light the corners of my mind

Misty watercolor memories

Of the way we were

Scattered pictures

Of the smiles we left behind

Smiles we gave to one another

For the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then?

Or has time re-written every line?

If we had the chance to do it all again

Tell me, would we?

Could we?

Memories

May be beautiful and yet

What's too painful to remember

We simply to choose to forget

So it's the laughter

We will remember

Whenever we remember

The way we were

The way we were

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Bergman Alan / Bergman Marilyn / Hamlisch Marvin

The Way We Were lyrics © Arlovol Music, Colgems-emi Music Inc. 

Israel and Indonesia prove PTSD survivors matter

I was shocked to see that PTSD Patrol had over 4,000 page views yesterday. I feel blessed and it shows that PTSD does not decide to strike nations. It strikes survivors no matter where they live.

Page views for PTSD Patrol 

last 7 days

All time

Page views Wounded Times 

last 7 days

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Don't lose that number

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 21, 2021

When your life is falling apart, you know you need help. What if you have no one to ask to help you? Maybe you've had past experience with asking people to help you but they didn't. If you don't know anyone you know will help, then it is easy to think you don't deserve any. I've felt that way about a million times. It isn't that people I know won't help me, but they don't know how to help me.

When you have PTSD, most of the time people do care but they have no idea how to help. Most people have a hard time knowing how to just listen and let you talk. Most of the time, they have no idea how helpful it is to just get the words out of our mouths.

But if you've run out of people to call, tired of getting drunk, tired of crying and struggling to just get from one day to the next, you need someone you can call who does care and does know how to help!

Some people will remind you that you are not alone, but it doesn't help if you have your head in your hands sitting alone and don't know where to turn. It does help when people prove you are not alone and know how to help you get through the rough days a lot of people have. Don't lose those numbers! They are there to listen and help you through it!

Trust me because I know what it feels like to want to just give up. I know what it is like to be alone and don't know where to turn. I also know what it is like when I do find the help I need, when I need it, and from people who not only want to help me, they are trained to do it properly.

Your life can turn around too and you can pass it on when you feel better and you know, you are not alone at all.

Lifeline National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress.

This is why today the featured video is Rikki Don't Lose That Number!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Rikki Don't Lose That Number

Steely Dan 

We hear you're leavin', that's okay

I thought our little wild time had just begun

I guessed you kind of scared yourself, you turn and run

But if you have a change of heart

Rikki, don't lose that number

You don't wanna call nobody else

Send it off in a letter to yourself

Rikki, don't lose that number

It's the only one you own

You might use it if you feel better

When you get home

I have a friend in town, he's heard your name

We can go out driving on Slow Hand Row

We could stay inside and play games, I don't know

And you could have a change of heart

Rikki, don't lose that number

You don't wanna call nobody else

Send it off in a letter to yourself

Rikki, don't lose that number

It's the only one you own

You might use it if you feel better

When you get home

You tell yourself you're not my kind

But you don't even know your mind

And you could have a change of heart

Rikki, don't lose that number

You don't wanna call nobody else

Send it off in a letter to yourself

Rikki, don't lose that number

It's the only one you own

You might use it if you feel better

When you get home

Rikki, don't lose that number

Rikki, don't lose that number

Rikki, don't lose that number

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Becker Walter Carl / Fagen Donald Jay

Rikki Don't Lose That Number lyrics © American Broadcasting Music, Inc. 

Why search for something after you found it?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 19, 2021


Why search for something after you found it? Maybe you need to because you think you lost it. If that is the case, then why did you lose it? Did you actually lose it? If the thing you lost is more than a thing, but is a person, that can be very rough. It isn't as if you can go out and replace the person with a duplicate. They will never be the same person you lost. This is why today the featured video is I'll Never Find Another You by The Seekers.

Many people came into and went out of my life for a lot of reasons. Some stayed in my life for decades. Some passed away. The fact is, none of them really left me. Each one changed me by adding something to my life or, taking something out of it. The truth is, looking back, I know I gained something from even the ones who hurt me. It made me love those who added to my life more deeply and appreciated them even more than I would have if I had never been hurt.

Is there someone in your life you love and loves you? You were brougt together for a reason. If you are suffering because of PTSD and it is a heavier burden than you can carry on your own, then you risk losing them. You are actually pushing them out of your life by not sharing what you feel. 

How many times have you read about a couple married for 50, 60 or 70 years and wonder how they did it? They did it because they shared their lives. All the good and all the bad and they stood by one another supporting them, because that is what love does. Does it mean it will be prefect? No, but it does mean it is strong. Isn't it time that you figured out you will never be able to find another one of "them" no matter what you do? If you do the right thing and trust them, share your burden with them, you won't have to look to replace them...because you won't lose them.

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I'll Never Find Another You

The Seekers

There's a new world somewhere

They call the promised land

And I'll be there someday

If you could hold my hand

I still need you there beside me

No matter what I do

For I know I'll never find another you

There is always someone

For each of us, they say

And you'll be my someone 

Forever and a day

I could search the whole world over

Until my life is through

But I know I'll never find another you

It's a long, long journey

So stay by my side

When I walk through the storm 

You'll be my guide, be my guide

If they gave me a fortune

My pleasure would be small

I could lose it all tomorrow

And never mind at all

But if I should lose your love, dear

I don't know what I'd do

For I know I'll never find another you

But if I should lose your love, dear

I don't know what I'd do

For I know I'll never find another you

Another you, another you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Tom Springfield

I'll Never Find Another You lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Make Someday Today

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 18, 2021

"Let's rewrite an ending that fits." Those words are from Nickelback Someday. If you've been saying that someday you'll get over what #PTSD is doing to you, how long have you been saying it? Someday you'll do something to change. How long are you willing to wait? How long do you think you'll try it the way it hasn't worked before you try another way? Someday?

How about you make someday today? The longer you take to decide it is time to #TakeBackYourLife, the more damage is done. Not just to you, but the people in your life are paying a price too. I've heard enough people say that they thought about committing suicide so they would stop being so unhappy and making everyone else in their family unhappy. It wasn't until they decided suicide would make their family take on a burden of pain they would be paying for with the rest of their lives. So much better to do what it takes to heal, than cover up you never really did from the event you survived.

So if you make changing your goal starting today, then tomorrow you can "rewrite an ending that fits." If you ever saw someone with PTSD at their worst, and then saw them after they healed, it is a beautiful thing to see. It is a testament to the human spirit and what can be accomplished, especially in someone who survived the thing that caused PTSD to hit them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence

Someday

Nickelback

How the hell'd we wind up like this?

And why weren't we able

To see the signs that we missed?

Try and turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists

And unpack your suitcase

Lately there's been too much of this

But don't think it's too late

Nothing's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

Well, I'd hope that since we're here anyway

We could end up saying

Things we've always needed to say

So we could end up staying

Now the story's played out like this

Just like a paperback novel

Let's rewrite an ending that fits

Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

How the hell'd we wind up like this?

And why weren't we able

To see the signs that we missed?

Try and turn the tables

Now the story's played out like this

Just like a paperback novel

Let's rewrite an ending that fits

Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

I know you're wondering when

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Chad Kroeger / Michael Kroeger / Ryan Peake / Ryan Vikedal

Someday lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

And you know you can survive

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 14, 2021

"And you know you can survive" are some powerful words to hear when you don't think you can. When everyone you know will not, or cannot, offer you any hope or support, those words empower you to do more than just survive. They let you know you have the power to do that!

Today the featured video is Mariah Carey, Hero. If you ended up with PTSD because of your job, risking your life for others, or sacrificing for the sake of others, you already know what a hero is, but you are the last one to claim that title for yourself. If you have PTSD because of your "job" then it was much more than a just a job. It was your vocation. Average people do not take those jobs. You are above average.

I used this song in a video from a long time ago, PTSD Hero After War for members of the military, with I'll Stand By You from The Pretenders. In this war against PTSD, you can also be a hero to someone else fighting their own war to reclaim their life. Once you heal, you can stand by them and show them the way. You can encourage them when they have no courage left. You can empower them when they cannot find enough power to get up out of bed.

If your job caused it, understand that humans are not built to withstand the constant onslaught of traumatic events. Most of the people you risked your life for, ended up with PTSD from the event you responded to...one event for them but it was one of many for you.

The thing is, as human as you are, if God put it into your soul to do that kind of job, He also equipped you with everything you need to heal from it. It is built into your emotional core and that core is stronger than others, or you wouldn't have been able to do that job for more than a little while. Most of the people I worked with over the years, had done the "job" for many years and faced so many events they were not even sure which one hit them the hardest.

Now think about what kind of hero you can be to others just by telling your story and sharing your own struggles with them. You are not done serving others even if you had to give up the job that caused PTSD. There are over 8 million Americans with PTSD, that is known about. There are many more who have it by have no idea what it is going on with them and they have not sought out help. You can reach them to and encourage them to seek help to take back their lives from PTSD too.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Hero

Mariah Carey

There's a hero

If you look inside your heart

You don't have to be afraid

Of what you are

There's an answer

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

It's a long road

When you face the world alone

No one reaches out a hand

For you to hold

You can find love

If you search within yourself

And that emptiness you felt

Will disappear

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you, oh, oh

Lord knows

Dreams are hard to follow

But don't let anyone

Tear them away, hey yeah

Hold on

There will be tomorrow

In time you'll find the way

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

That a hero lies in you

Mmm, that a hero lies in you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Mariah Carey / Walter Afanasieff

Hero lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Royalty Network 

PTSD Hero After War

the song I needed to hear

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 12, 2021

We haven't talked much about why music is so important when you are trying to heal PTSD. It has the power to change your mood. Sometimes you hear a song and you feel worse than you did. That is the time to find something else to listen to. It doesn't mean it is a bad song or you suddenly don't like it. It just means that is not the song you need to hear at that moment in your life.

There were a lot of times when my life sucked the most I'd hear a song and felt like the last thread of hope was being cut off. Other times I'd hear the same song and have a totally different reaction to it. Sometimes a sad song would comfort me, but other times it would remind me of why I felt sad in the first place and then felt even worse. Music is all relative to, not just the mood you are in, but the mood you want to get into.

Today the featured video is Dobie Grey, Drift Away! "When my mind is free," and I can drift away with the song it can be wonderful. This morning I heard it doing errands. I got so carried away by it, I almost forgot where we were going. It was a song I not only wanted to hear, I needed to hear. It took me out of my life for a little while and changed my mood for the better. We ended up enjoying the rest of the day.

There are some songs that seem more powerful because the singers are famous people. You know they are rich and probably have everything they want, but they manage to sing about being lonely. Either they are drawing from a time in their lives when they were lonely or, they very well could have been lonely when they recorded it. You can always tell when the words are more than just words to them.

Listen to songs you need to hear depending on where you are emotionally and can either find comfort or be uplifted by them. If they are making you feel worse, then change the station or find another one from your music collection. The point is to be connected in a positive way to the song and disconnected from negativity feeding your emotions.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Drift Away

Dobie Gray 

Day after day I'm more confused

But I look for the light through the pourin' rain

You know, that's a game, that I hate to loose

I'm feelin' the strain, ain't it a shame

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

Beginin' to think, that I'm wastin' time

And I don't understand the things I do

The world outside looks so unkind

I'm countin' on you, you can carry me through

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

And when my mind is free

You know your melody can move me

And when I'm feelin' blue

The guitars come through to soothe me

Thanks for the joy you've given me

I want you to know I believe in your song

And rhythm, and rhyme, and harmony

You helped me along, you're makin' me strong

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mentor Williams

Drift Away lyrics © Almo Music Corp. 

And I'm gonna go there free

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 10, 2021

Today the featured video is Jim Croce, I Got A Name because it talks about having a hopeful attitude, "movin' me down the highway...movin' ahead so life won't pass me by." Is life passing you by because you think you're stuck where you are? The only thing that is keeping you from getting unstuck is not knowing you have the power to decide your own future.

There was a time when I couldn't figure out why this song was used in Django Unhained. Then it dawned on me that he was going to where he wanted and was going there free. Free of all that happened to him because he did not want to be limited by the things that he had no control over. He got lucky and found someone who needed his help and then, turned around to help him.

Someone may have the same name as you do. Someone may look like you. Someone may have a story that is similar to your own. The thing is, no one has the exact same life are you do. You may find someone in a support group talking about what their life is like with PTSD, but while part of their story is like your own, it isn't your story.

Sure it is wise to find a support group that focuses on what cause PTSD in you, but remember, it is not a contest. Feel sorry for them, because you know how it makes you feel. Feel happy for them because you know what it is like to begin to #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD. Take the ideas they give you and pass on things you learned to others. Let them hug you when you need it just as you are willing to let them rejoice with you when you start to write the next part of your own story.

(I messed up in this video and said it was "Durango" because I watched too many Westerns...I could have just did another video but I have no problem admitting mistakes I make. It makes life happier knowing I don't have to be perfect and don't have to pretend I am.)

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I Got a Name

Jim Croce

Like the pine trees linin' the windin' road

I've got a name, I've got a name

Like the singin' bird and the croakin' toad

I've got a name, I've got a name

And I carry it with me like my daddy did

But I'm livin' the dream that he kept hid

Movin' me down the highway

Rollin' me down the highway

Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by

Like the north wind whistlin' down the sky

I've got a song, I've got a song

Like the whirlpool whirl and the baby's cry

I've got a song, I've got a song

And I carry it with me and I sing it loud

If it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud

Movin' me down the highway

Rollin' me down the highway

Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by

And I'm gonna go there free

Like the fool I am and I'll always be

I've got a dream, I've got a dream

They can change their minds but they can't change me

I've got a dream, I've got a dream

Oh, I know I could share it if you'd want me too

If you're going my way, I'll go with you

Movin' me down the highway

Rollin' me down the highway

Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by

Movin' me down the highway

Rollin' me down the highway

Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Norman Gimbel / Charles Fox

I Got a Name lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp.

PTSD is more than a feeling

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 6, 2021

PTSD is so much more than a feeling. It is life changing from a life threatening event. It would be a great start in the right direction if people understood that, then maybe, they'd stop telling people to "just get over it" as if they don't want to. It doesn't matter to them if "it" happened to them ten, twenty, thirty or forty years ago. If they had a flashback, it just happened to them all over again. I don't know anyone who wouldn't pay to go back to to the way they were before or to the life they had before. I don't know anyone who wants to just stay the way they are. The problem is, they have no idea, while it is impossible to go back to the way they were before, it is very possible to have a better life.

It is like losing someone you knew very well. It is like losing yourself. That is why today the featured video is Boston, More Than A Feeling.

I think the song resonates so much because everyone has lost someone in their lives. Some of us have also lost ourselves!

Be the help they need to heal and if you are healing, from more than a feeling, then celebrate! The second song from Boston is, Don't Look Back. You are not going that way anymore and you're too busy looking forward to a happier life!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

More Than A Feeling

Boston 

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone

Turned on some music to start my day

I lost myself in a familiar song

I closed my eyes and I slipped away

It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)

When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)

And I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)

'Til I see Marianne walk away

I see my Marianne walkin' away

So many people have come and gone

Their faces fade as the years go by

Yet I still recall as I wander on

As clear as the sun in the summer sky

It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)

When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)

And I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)

'Til I see Marianne walk away

I see my Marianne walkin' away

When I'm tired and thinking cold

I hide in my music, forget the day

And dream of a girl I used to know

I closed my eyes and she slipped away

She slipped away

It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)

When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)

And I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)

'Til I see Marianne walk away

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Tom Scholz

More Than a Feeling lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

And when you heal...don't look back, you're not going that way anymore!

Don’t Look Back

Boston

Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'

It's been too long since I felt this way

I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken

The road is callin', today is the day

I can see, it took so long just to realize

I'm much too strong not to compromise

Now I see what I am is holding me down

I'll turn it around

Oh, yes, I will

I finally see the dawn arrivin'

I see beyond the road I'm drivin'

It's a bright horizon, ooh, and I'm awaken

I see myself in a brand new way

The sun is shinin', ooh, the clouds are breakin'

'Cause I can't lose now, there's no game to play

I can tell there's no more time left to criticize

I've seen what I could not recognize

Everything in my life was leading me on

But I can be strong

Oh, yes I can

I finally see the dawn arrivin'

I see beyond the road I'm drivin'

Ooh, far away, I'm left behind, left behind

Oh, the sun is shining

And I'm on that road

Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'

It's been so long since I felt this way

I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken

The road is callin', today is the day

I can see, it took so long just to realize

I'm much too strong not to compromise

Now I see what I am is holding me down

I'll turn it around

Oh, yes I will

I finally see the dawn arrivin' 

I see beyond the road I'm drivin'

I'm far away and left behind

Don't look back

Don't look back

Don't look back

Don't look back

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Scholz Tom

Don’t Look Back lyrics © Pure Songs, Hideaway Hits

PTSD Patrol thanks you for lifting others Higher And Higher

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 1, 2021

Today's video was chosen for two reasons. The first one is, to say thank you! Thank you for passing this work on because PTSD Patrol has passed 91,000 page views. That would not have happened if you were not passing this work along and letting others know that their lives can be better. The other reason is to remind you that your own healing can be lifting you "Higher And Higher" too!

There is no limit to your healing. Even if you think life is good enough for you, it can be even better when you help someone else. Lifting them up lifts you. There is no price you can put on that feeling, knowing you changed someone's life for the better. They turn around and change the lives of others in their life and hopefully, change the lives of strangers too.

I am often reminded that I'll never know how many people I reach with this work, but the only way they are reached is for others to share it and you blessed me doing that!

Now once, I was downhearted disappointment was my closest friend

But you came, he soon departed and he never showed his face again

My life is not just blessed, but you also blessed others by giving them hope and letting them know their own life doesn't have to be filled with doom and gloom.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Higher And Higher

Your love is liftin me higher, than I've ever been lifted before.

Your love is liftin me higher, than I've ever been lifted before

So keep it up, quench my desire and I'll be at your side forever more

Now once, I was downhearted disappointment was my closest friend

But you came, he soon departed and he never showed his face again

I'm so glad I finally found you, your that one in a million man

When you wrap your lovin arms around me

I can stand up and face the world again

Your love is liftin me higher than I've ever been lifted before (higher)

So keep it up, quench my desire

And I'll be at your side forever more (higher)

(Repeat x3)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Gary Jackson / Raynard Miner / Carl Smith

(Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher and Higher lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Unichappell Music Inc., Mijac Music 

PTSD if you believe God did it to you

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

March 26, 2021

We haven't talked much about spiritual healing lately, but I wanted to share how powerful it has been for me.

I was talking to someone who used the cringe worthy saying, "God only gives us what we can handle." That is used when someone wants to shut down the conversation, or because they think they have to say something but have nothing reasonable to say. It is much like when someone says, "If God brought you to it, He'll get you through it."

You are telling someone who survived the cause of PTSD that it is punishment from God. What is the point of praying if you believe God did it to you? You spend the rest of your life questioning everything in your life and then believe there is no point in trying at all.

I was struggling with many things lately. One was my confidence. Another one was being able to forgive. I am not struggling anymore on those.

My confidence was restored. The people who used me and abandoned me, are no longer in my life or taking up any room in my heart. The people who stole my work, used it as their own without asking permission or giving me any credit at all, no longer get in the way of me doing what I've done all these years.

The biggest one I struggled with was praying for inner peace. When you are in spiritual turmoil, that can ruin everything else in your life. If you have faith that God does have the power to deliver a lot things you need from Him, you will receive it. I did.

There are things we pray for that involve the will of other people to take action. God will not try to control their own freewill, so sometimes we don't have our prayers answered because they were not willing to listen to Him. But there are things He can do on His own if we are willing to ask and have faith He can, and it will be done.

It does not mean we will never have to ask for these things again at some point in our lives....but it does mean that if we do, then He will be there for us!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Whenever God Shines His Light

Van Morrison

Whenever God shines his light on me

Opens up my eyes so I can see

When I look up in the darkest night

And I know everything's going to be alright

In deep confusion, in great despair

When I reach out for him he is there

When I am lonely as I can be

And I know that God shines his light on me

Reach out for him (reach out for him), he'll be there (he'll be there)

With him your troubles (with him your troubles) you can share (you can share)

If you live (if you live), the life you love (the life you love)

You get the blessing (yeah) from above (from above)

Heals the sick and he heals the lame

Says you can do it too in Jesus' name

He'll lift you up and turn you around

And put your feet back (feet back) on higher ground

Reach out for him (reach out for him), he'll be there (he'll be there)

With him your troubles (with him your troubles) you can share (you can share)

Oh, you can use his higher power

Every day (every day) and any hour (any hour)

Heals the sick and heals the lame

And he says you can heal them too in Jesus' name

He lifts you up and turns you around

Puts your feet back (puts your feet back, puts your feet back) on higher ground

When

When he shines his light

Whenever God shines his light

On you

On you

He is the way

He is the truth

He is the light, hoo

Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back

Higher ground

Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back

On higher ground

Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back

On higher ground

Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back

On higher ground

Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back

Put your feet on higher ground

Put your feet back, put your feet back, higher ground, put your feet back

Back

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Van Morrison

Whenever God Shines His Light lyrics © BMG Rights Management 

When Will I Ever Learn to Live in God

Van Morrison

The sun was setting over Avalon

The last time we stood in the west

Suffering long time angels enraptured by Blake

Burn out the dross

Innoncence captured again

Standing on the beach at sunset
And all the boats keep moving slow

In the glory of the flashing light

In the evenings glow

When will I ever learn

To live in God?

When will I ever learn?

He gives me everything I need and more

When will I ever learn?

You brought it to my attention

That everything was made in God

Down through centuries of great writings and paintings

Everything lives in God

Seen through architecture of great cathedrals

Down through the history of time

Is and was in the beginning

And evermore

Shall ever be

When will I ever learn

To live in God?

When will I ever learn?

He gives me everything I need and more

When will I ever learn?

Whatever it takes to fulfill the

Main change was to delete the is mission

That is the way we must go

But you've got to do it your own way

Tear down the old

Bring up the new

And up on the hillside it's quiet

Where the shepherd is tending his sheep

And over the mountains and the valleys

And the countryside is so green

Standing on the highest hill with a sense of wonder

You can see everything is made in God

Head back down the roadside

And give thanks for it all

When will I ever learn

To live in God?

When will I ever learn?

He gives me everything I need and more

When will I ever learn?

When will I ever learn

To live in God?

When will I ever learn?

He gives me everything I need and more

When will I ever learn?

When will I ever learn

To live in God?

When will I ever learn?

He gives me everything I need and more

When will I ever learn?

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Van Morrison

When Will I Ever Learn to Live in God lyrics © Barrule Uk Ltd, Universal-songs Of Polygrm Obo Essential Music