the oldest pandemic this nation has ever seen

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 22, 2021

Last year I went to the New Hampshire veterans cemetery for the first time on Memorial Day. As I walked around, I thought about all the veterans in my family who passed away, as well as the two veterans I was walking with. My husband and his best friend are both Vietnam veterans.

When I came upon this memorial, I had to catch a couple of tears falling. The empty place where the service member is saluting, got to me.

It was around that time when I was debating about giving up working with veterans. No matter how hard I tried, or how much I knew, it seemed as if I was fighting everyone I knew in the veteran community. Most of them were latched onto the slogan of "22 a day" and wouldn't let go of the notion that suicide awareness was a good thing to do. How could they believe that letting suicidal veterans hear about others giving up would offer them anything but more despair?

It was too late to change their minds and I had been doing this work for too long to be able to deal with the deadly results of ignorance. My heart was being ripped out every time I read another report of another suicide.

No one wanted to hear what needed to be done, anymore than they wanted to hear about the decades of failures to address the oldest pandemic this nation has ever seen...suicides carried out by those who valued the lives of others so much so, they were willing to die to save them.

I got into all of this in 1982 and focused on Vietnam veterans with PTSD, but the truth is, they had only become the latest generation to join the others going back to when this nation began. What I didn't know back then was there would be more wars.

It felt as if I was fighting this one all alone as soon as people started to read news reports in 2012. Soon after that, the awareness groups started popping up and eroding the ability for veterans to find people like me.

And now, maybe you'll understand why I gave up on what I had dedicated my life to almost 4 decades ago.

read more here

While all the "awareness" people were talking about, a number when they didn't even understand the report it came from, I was talking about changing the conversation. This is from an interview I did in 2012.

That was what they needed to hear, but I guess I stopped being good enough to get them to hear me. 

I fought them until last year and then I opened this up to anyone with PTSD. If you are in the military, a veteran, or a member of any of the responder positions, this work is for you too. No matter what caused PTSD in you, you are still only human like the rest of us.

Today the featured video is Neil Diamond, He Ain't Heavy because helping people with PTSD heal should not be a burden for any of us.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

Neil Diamond

The road is long with many awaiting turns

That lead us to who knows where,

Who knows where

But I'm strong,

Strong enough to carry him

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So long we go

His welfare is my concern

No burden is he to bare, we'll get there

For I know

He would not encumber me

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If Im laden at all,

I I am laden with sadness that

Everyone's heart isn't filled with the gladness

I am alone for one and other

It's so long long road

From which there is no return

While we're on the way to live why not share

And the load doesn't weigh me down at all

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He's my brother

He ain't heavy

He's my brother

He's my brother

He ain't heavy

He's my brother

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: B. Russell / B. Scott

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother lyrics © Music Sales Corporation, Music Sales Corp. 

Calling all angels

Wounded Times

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 15, 2021

Today my heart is broken. Two reports about the suicides in the military and veterans community reminded me of the reason I had to give up working with both groups after 38 years. I could not fight alone anymore. Telling the truth and saying what had to be said to save their lives was no longer possible without ripping my heart out on and daily basis.

Despite Congress' efforts and an ever-rising VA budget, there's no evidence the federal government has put a dent in the veteran suicide crisis, with the VA's data showing little change in the suicide numbers each year. (Military.com)

Military suicides are also higher. "The report from the Department of Defense shows our military saw a spike in people taking their own lives. In total, 377 active duty troops took their own life in 2020, across all branches of the military. This is an increase of 8% from the same time in 2019." but when you actually read the report, you notice that the numbers in the following article do not include the 194 "Reserve Components" that are included in the Department of Defense Suicide Report. 511, which has been consistently the average since 2012. If you find that hard to believe, since the media hasn't told you that part, then look at the whole chart on the link and add the two totals together.

"Your mental health impacts more than just you, it impacts everybody around you. And those are things we have to be aware of. You may not want to get help for you but what about for your daughter or for your son. What about for your mother or your brother who has to deal with the things that you were going through," said Williams." (Porsche Williams, the founder of Restore Life Global WUSA9 News)

It became all too clear that the only groups getting support were ranting about "raising awareness" that they were killing themselves. No plans, no facts, just saying it was happening and they ended up getting all the support while leaving people reminded that others gave up too. As if that was going to work when they needed reasons to get up in the morning. They needed hope and they needed the truth, but these groups did not have a clue what they were talking about...but they sure knew how to get attention for themselves.

I do not want to be contacted by one more group wanting money for what they do with results like this. No one should be giving them any attention at all when the results has proven over and over again, hasn't "put a dent in the crisis."

I asked for help from many groups and offered to let them take the credit for what I was willing to show them how to do. They turned me down. Over and over again, I tried to contact members of Congress but they would not listen. I wrote and wrote even more, but thousands of articles later, none of them did much good. Wounded Times has over 4.8 million page views, yet there are few people telling the truth about what has been going on. I have over 700 videos on YouTube and few bother to watch them or share them. 

I am willing to get back into this fight again but only if angels decide to fight with me. I won't fight this alone again. My heart cannot take it. I know what it is like to save lives and trust me, if I can do it, it isn't rocket science. It requires knowledge and doing it for the right reasons. I am calling on angels to help me this time, so all of us can help them heal.

Calling All Angels

Train 

I need a sign to let me know you're here

All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere

I need to know that things are gonna look up

'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head

When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I need a sign to let me know you're here

'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear

I want a reason for the way things have to be

I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don't disappear

While private eyes solve marriage lies 'cause we don't talk for years

And football teams are kissing Queens and losing sight of having dreams

In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: James Stafford / Scott Underwood / Pat Monahan / Charles Colin

Calling All Angels lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

I started doing videos on PTSD in 2006. The first suicide awareness I did was in 2007 because I thought all that people needed to save lives, was to know it was happening. Putting the video and post together, ripped my heart out, but it was important. I wrote a book about suicides tied to military in 2013 proving all the money and "efforts" did not work, and why they did not work. It didn't do any good.

I did the video Alive Day in 2012 when the reports started coming out. This is what they need to know and this is how we do it!

If you are raising awareness about them killing themselves, you are part of the reason they are gone!

Miracle happened as the message came out in 2011 on a soldier's tattoo

For those I love I will sacrifice

PTSD Patrol
Story from Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2020

One of the first post I put up on my views of faith, was in September 2007. To lay down his life for the sake of his friends posted September 26, 2007. Almost 900 people read it and shared it, plus 1,200+ subscribers sent it along with 90 followers.

Do you think God abandoned you still? Come on and admit that while you were in the center of the trauma, you either felt the hand of God on your shoulder, or more often, never felt further from Him. In natural disasters, we pray to God to protect us. Yet when it's over we wonder why He didn't make the hurricane hit someplace else or why the tornadoes came and destroyed what we had while leaving the neighbors house untouched. We wonder why He heals some people while the people we love suffer. It is human nature to wonder, search for answers and try to understand.

In times of combat, it is very hard to feel anything Godly. Humans are trying to kill other humans and the horrors of wars become an evil act. The absence of God becomes overwhelming. We wonder how a loving God who blessed us with Jesus, would allow the carnage of war. We wonder how He could possibly forgive us for being a part of it. For soldiers, this is often the hardest personal crisis they face.

They are raised to love God and to be told how much God loves them. For Christians, they are reminded of the gift of Jesus, yet in moments of crisis they forget most of what Jesus went through.

Here are a few lessons and you don't even have to go to church to hear them.

Go to the link to read the rest. What followed may, or may not have been inspired by this post in one way or another. Still a miracle happened as the message came out in 2011 on a soldier's tattoo.


For those I love, I will sacrifice

Pfc. Kyle Hockenberry, was being treated for his wounds when Stars and Stripes was covering a story on the wounded. I flipped through the pictures, being saddened by each one, until I came across this picture by Laura Rauch. It summed up what motivates most of those who serve. They do it for love. They are willing to die to save someone else. I had to share it! 

September 28, 2011, TIME Magazine did a follow up to the story. No Idle Boast: A Soldier's Tattoo Become Truth

Hockenberry’s uncle, Jim Hall, told the Marietta Times last month that doctors have sought to preserve Hockenberry’s tattoo as they conduct multiple surgeries and skin grafts around it. “His tattoo really sums it all up,” Hall said. “He really doesn’t like the word ‘hero.’ So we call him – he’s our miracle.”

Since it went up, it has been read 37,753 times.

“I want to show it’s possible to suffer but also to recover."

Former Mansfield soldier who tried to end her life stars on SAS: Who Dares Wins

CHAD UK
By Andrew Topping
Tuesday, 14th January 2020

A former soldier from Mansfield who was told she may “never walk again” after trying to end her life has gone on to star in Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins.

“I want to show it’s possible to suffer but also to recover." Donna Watts

Donna Watts, 36, served for eight years in the armed forces, being stationed in Germany for seven – which also included six months in Afghanistan with the Marines.

Donna, who had “always struggled with my sexuality”, came out as gay while in the Army and was named as ‘best recruit’ during her development.

The former Mansfield Town Ladies footballer left the Army in 2010 and went on to work for South Yorkshire Police, putting her Royal Military Police expertise to good use.

But during her time in the police she began to develop post-traumatic stress disorder and had a “mental breakdown” – trying to end her life, which was almost successful.

She has shared her story to raise awareness about mental health and the risks of PTSD.

“I drove to Whitby and jumped 200ft from a cliff to end my life. I was rescued about 10 hours later by helicopter”, she said.
read it here

Speak up when only the male receives a "thank you" for his service

Why do women wonder when their service will count?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 22, 2019

We read about it all the time. A couple is sitting together, both wearing military hats, yet it is only the male who receives a "thank you" for his service.

Someone forgot to inform the "thanker" that women have served this country since before it was a country.

ServiceWomen.org

Military women serving in war zones are such a common sight in worldwide media these days that their presence is little remarked upon.

In both Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom, military women from the U.S. and other countries have shown the mental and physical toughness needed to perform well under fire, to defend themselves and their comrades with courage, and to endure the conditions inherent to life in a combat zone.

Officially, women have been serving on active duty in the U. S. military since 1901. Unofficially, they have been serving since the American Revolution, during which time women like Deborah Sampson dressed as men to enter the Continental Army, while others, like Margaret Corbin, accompanied their husbands to camp and then onto the battlefield. It was during the Civil War that the U.S. government first recruited women to serve with the armed forces as nurses, albeit without military status. About 4,200 served with the Army of the North. During the Spanish-American War, the Army again recruited female nurses and again these women kept their civilian status. About 1,500 served. They were so successful that the War Department requested Congress to authorize establishment of an Army Nurse Corps. This was done as part of The Army Reorganization Act of 1901. The Navy Nurse Corps was established in 1908 by the FY 1909 Naval Appropriations Act (Public Law-115).

Today over 210,000 women serve on active duty in the military services of the Department of Defense (Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Air Force), and another 5,955 serve in the Active Coast Guard—part of the Department of Homeland Security in peacetime.

The Reserve Components are federal forces. Guard components play dual state and federal roles. Like most of the active forces, the Reserve and Guard components have an increasing percentage of women in their ranks. As of February 2018, women constituted 158,090 or 19.8 percent—of all personnel serving in the six DoD Reserve and Guard forces. Women number 1,067—or 17.4 percent—of all personnel serving in the Coast Guard Reserve.

Women have been bestowed with every military medal for heroism, including the Medal of Honor. Dr. Walker not only served during the Civil War, she was a POW.

Released from government contract at the end of the war, Dr. Walker lobbied for a brevet promotion to major for her services. Secretary of War Stanton would not grant the request. President Andrew Johnson asked for another way to recognize her service. A Medal of Honor was presented to Dr. Walker in January 1866. She wore it every day for the rest of her life.

And here are some more women who went above and beyond what many think women do for the country.

As of August there are 613 female Marines and sailors serving in previously all-male units ― representing an increase of 60 percent since 2018, the Marine Corps said. The number comes from December’s quarterly briefing from the Defense Advisory Committee on Women in the Services, a group meant to provide the Defense Department recommendations on how to improve gender integration throughout the military. Marine Corps Times

The first female Marine has passed the Basic Reconnaissance Course and earned the 0321 reconnaissance Marine military occupational specialty, or MOS, the Marine Corps has confirmed. Lance Cpl. Alexa Barth graduated from the grueling 12-week course Nov. 7, 1st Lt. Sam Stephenson, Marine Corps spokesman, confirmed to Marine Corps Times Thursday. Marine Corps Times

Females in the Army have achieved much and you can find a lot of them here.

What was unlikely, when she joined, was that she - a woman - would rise to higher ranks than her father, a Brigadier General. But she did, and on November 14, 2008, Ann E. Dunwoody became the first woman in U.S. military history to achieve the rank of General, which came with three more stars. Connecting Vets

General Lori Robinson, the highest ranking woman in U.S. military history, discussed the challenges that come with leading two commands at an event Monday, emphasizing how she wants to be recognized for her abilities and position—not her gender. Robinson—who is commander of North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) and United States Northern Command (USNORTHCOM)—explained how she leads “two commands with a common purpose.” Although each command has different responsibilities, she noted that they share the same objective—protecting the homeland. Duke Chronicle

Laura Yeager originally joined the military to help pay for college. Her father, retired California National Guard Maj. Gen. Robert Brandt, was a helicopter pilot who served two tours in Vietnam, but, she said in 2017, “I think my father was more surprised than anyone that I joined.” It was the start of a history-making career that has spanned more than three decades. Yeager flew Black Hawk helicopters in Iraq and served as the first female commander of Joint Task Force North in Fort Bliss, Texas, and on June 29, she became the first woman to lead an Army infantry division when she took command of the 40th Infantry Division in the California National Guard. TIME

FORT BENNING, Ga. -- Two Soldiers from the South Carolina and Pennsylvania National Guard are the first enlisted National Guard females to graduate from U.S. Army Ranger School. U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Jessica Smiley, a South Carolina National Guard military police non-commissioned officer serving with the U.S. Army Training and Doctrine Command, and U.S. Army Sgt. Danielle Farber, Pennsylvania National Guard 166th Regional Training Institute Medical Battalion Training Site instructor, completed the mentally and physically challenging school at Fort Benning Dec. 13. The school prepares Soldiers to be better trained, more capable and more resilient leaders. US Army

One of the Navy's smallest and most elite communities may soon have its first female members, Military.com has learned. Three enlisted women are now in the training pipeline to become special warfare combatant-craft crewmen, small-boat operators frequently teamed with Navy SEALs for infiltration and exfiltration missions. They also conduct reconnaissance and other missions in shallow-water regions. Military.com

None of these women were afraid to put their lives on the line when they enlisted. So why be afraid to to speak up and say that you served too?

Wounded Minds and Us

As promised, this is the beginning of the videos I will be putting up today. 

While the numbers are not the same as they are today, the message remains the same.

This was the first one I did back in 2006.
Wounded Minds and Us


In 2006 I created this video on Wounded Minds. 

Long before PTSD was in the news, families like mine were doing the best we could to make our veterans lives better. 

Sometimes we failed but after three decades, I'm still married. I still have no idea how other families do it when they know hardly nothing about PTSD. 

I knew almost everything and there were times when it was almost impossible to find hope. 

The key is to learn as much as you can, love as an active partner in their healing and find what works to make your lives better!

This is from my old website, NamGuardianAngel. Go to Combat PTSD Wounded Times to learn more.


The following are for family members.

Why do so many families not know about PTSD or what combat can do until it is too late? Why do so many walk away instead of putting up a fight after they fought in combat?

Here is another old video that I am putting back up. When they come home, it is the job of their families to watch their backs and make sure we get them whatever they need to heal. PTSD doesn't have to win anything! They fought in combat, but we have to fight because they came home from it!

Do you love your veteran? Then fight like hell to prove it! This cuts into their soul and it is up to you to find the one you fell in love with and drag that soul out of hell! They can heal if you fight to get them back to who they are instead of judging how they are!

Built in shock absorbers wear down over time

Shock Absorbers Surround You!
PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone
Kathie Costos
August 26, 2018

When we got the idea to turn PTSD Patrol into something related to vehicles, it was odd, to say the least. Once explained that people understand the vehicle they drive a lot more than the vehicle they live in, it only made sense to do it this way.

There are a lot of automotive parts that can be used to explain the vehicle you live in. Your body is your ride and we are all different but the stuff that makes it work can be linked to the stuff that goes into the vehicle you drive.

If you took a job to save others, you took on a lot more than most people have to deal with on a daily basis. That is why there are over 7 million citizens with PTSD, and you helped most of them survive.

If lives of strangers meant that much to you, then don't you think they matter to those you serve with? Ok, then why don't you get that your buddies would want to save you too?

Read about shock absorbers From Firestone

HOW DO STRUTS AND SHOCKS WORK?

The suspension on your car is made up of many components, including a set of springs that absorb bumps and road impact, a set of struts that support your springs, and a set of shocks (short for shock absorbers) that limit the bounce your car experiences by absorbing residual movement in suspension springs.

Without properly maintained struts and shocks an unexpected pothole, or even a gravel road, can actually cause the wheels of a vehicle to bounce off of the ground, which can easily lead to loss of control and collision.

REPLACE SHOCKS AND STRUTS ON YOUR VEHICLE

Since well-maintained shocks and struts critically contribute to the overall safety and stability of your vehicle's steering and suspension, we highly recommend having shocks and struts serviced regularly and well before there is an issue. That said, if you observe any of the following symptoms while you are in your vehicle or looking under the hood, it may mean it has time to bring your vehicle to your local Firestone Complete Auto Care center for service right away:

SHOCK AND STRUT REPLACEMENT SYMPTOMS OBSERVABLE WHILE DRIVING THE VEHICLE

• Excessive vehicle bouncing
• Nose of the vehicle dips down, especially when coming to a stop
• The vehicle sways and leans when turning corners or changing lanes
• Not enough bounce; the ride seems stiff
• Steering response is poor, or noise is heard when steering
• Feels very unstable at high speeds

PTSD Patrol : Family Road Trip

PTSD Patrol Family Road Trip
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
July 29, 2018

Yesterday it was raining when I was getting ready to do the video for today. A song popped into my head and I could not get it to stop playing in my mind. 

Melissa Manchester "Come In From The Rain" is about coming home from a journey and returning to someone who loves them.

I used that song a long time ago because it is what it is like when you come back home to your family.

When you listen to the lyrics, you'll know what I mean. We do not know what you have packed in your memories. We just know you are still packing pain. 

We don't know if it is because you do not love us anymore, or we did something wrong, or anything else that caused what is going on with you. All we can do is guess unless you tell us.

Do not leave your family wondering, because they will only blame themselves. The deployment trip was your journey without them but healing from it, is a family road trip.

Stop concealing what you are trying to hide and include them in on this ride so you can #TakeBackYourLife!

There is another song by Melissa Manchester "Just You And I" that also says a lot about what could go on when you do not choose to fight this alone.

Just You And I

Melissa Manchester

When your heroes go up in a puff,

And there's not enough to hang on to

And the ones you would count on to call

They all fall down all around you

Then you've got to believe there's more

It is the reason we're put here for

It's just you and I

When the legend's over - and we have just begun

We can look to each other to see us through

Just you and I

When a miracle's long overdue

And there's no one who's gonna come to guide you

So you keep looking up to the sky - wondering why

The clouds won't hide you

At the times when you're most afraid

That is the reason why dreams are made

It's just you and I

When the legend's over - and we have just begun

We can look to each other to see us through

Just you and I

Songwriters: Carole Bayer Sager / Melissa Manchester / Melissa Toni Manchester Just You And I lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Understanding the Powertrain

Female Warriors: Train Your Power
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 3, 2018

Earlier this week NPR had a heartbreaking report on female veterans and suicide.

"The suicide rate for female veterans has soared 85 percent in recent years, leading the military, VA and advocacy groups to try new ways to improve women's mental health care during and after service."

That caused me to write about how it was time to put "suicide awareness groups" out of business. Most of them do not know the facts, few focus on the majority of known veterans committing suicide and even less focus on female veterans.

I thought about all the female veterans I've met over the years. Some were suffering but even with that suffering came this survivor attitude that kept them moving forward, doing all they could for others. They trained the power within them so that giving up, settling for what their life was like, was not an option.

Think about what would have happened if these women had given up.
Primer Magazine, Adam Brewton wrote about the powertrain.

Shop Talk: Understanding the Powertrain

"Your car is an integral part of your life and a large investment item. Knowing some basic information will help you better understand what needs fixing when you have to take your car to the shop, and allows you to have a chance at holding your own when your..."

Powertrain

"Also known as the drivetrain, this is the collection of parts that make your vehicle move. It consists of your engine, transmission or transaxle, and drive axle. Notice I said drive axle? You can have an axle that doesn’t power the vehicle, but I’ll cover that in the suspension article."

When you consider that your "vehicle" is your body, then you know, there are also many parts to what helps you move from one place to another.

When your mind (engine) is clogged by contaminates, it is easy to stay stuck right where you are. It is better to clear out the gunk and then use everything that makes up your powertrain.

First, consider why you feel stuck. If it is because you feel as if no one will understand you? A good way to fix that, is to understand yourself first!

Why did you want to serve? Why did you want to put your life on the line for a bunch of strangers? Why did you want to subject yourself to everything that goes with your job, plus all the BS you knew you'd get as a female in a mostly male profession?

You trained your body because you had it in your mind/soul that you were meant to do that job. Courage was fueled by compassion and it was the only road you wanted to be on.

Nope, nothing weak there. You endured your deployments, your missions were completed with little rest and you did not allow yourself to yield to the pain you were in, until it was done. So, nope, nothing weak there either.

You faced bullets, bombs, fires, and betrayal in a lot of cases, but contrary to popular belief, not all cases of PTSD in females were sexual in nature. Some dismiss causes by the same events males went through as "your problem" but you've already proven you were stronger than all of that.

You already proved you are a survivor! So why are you sitting there alone now thinking like a victim? 

Did you know that no one has power over you other what you give them? If they are negative, telling you what is wrong with you, instead of what is strong within you, ignore them. Treat them like a bad driver! Pass them and wave bye as they fade from your rearview mirror. They are part of your past.

Out Here on My Own

Sometimes I wonder where I've been,

Who I am,

Do I fit in.

Make believein' is hard alone,

Out here on my own.

We're always provin' who we are,

Always reachin'

For that risin' star

To guide me far

And shine me home,

Out here on my own.

When I'm down and feelin' blue,

I close my eyes so I can be with you.

Oh, baby be strong for me;

Baby belong to me.

Help me through.

Help me need you.

Until the morning sun appears

Making light

Of all my fears,

I dry the tears

I've never shown,

Out here on my own.

But when I'm down and feelin' blue,

I close my eyes so I can be with you.

Oh, baby be strong for me;

Baby, belong to me.

Help me through.

Help me need you.

Sometimes I wonder where I've been,

Who I am,

Do I fit in.

I may not win,

But I can't be thrown,

Out here on my own,

Out here on my own.

Songwriters: Lesley Gore / Michael Gore

Out Here on My Own lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

You do not have to be out there on your own considering there are over 2 million other female veterans in this country. Plus, consider the number of female police officers, firefighters, members of the National Guards, Reserves, Coast Guard, Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force.

Still think you are out here on your own? You are not using your power to train yourself to heal. It is a journey and there are others who have cleared the road for you. You won't know where they will lead you to until you decide to get on the road.

Battle won by more than my love could give

More than my love could give
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 8, 2018

"Combat should never be easier than coming home to you!" Kathie Costos

For The Love of Jack, His War My Battle originally published in 2003 because I tried to warn people about what was coming into their lives. PTSD! It was republished in 2013 because too many thought their love alone would be able to heal them. 

Love has to be strong enough to do whatever it takes to help them heal! Stop making excuses for what you fail to do. We lose more after combat than we do during it. Wars end and they come home but that battle lasts a lifetime! We have to be trained to win it for them!

The battle to save the lives of combat veterans is not lost and it is not new. 18 veterans and more than one active duty service member take their own lives each day. More attempt it. Kathie Costos is not just a Chaplain helping veterans and their families, not just a researcher, she lives with it everyday. Combat came home with her Vietnam veteran husband and they have been married for 28 years.She remembers what it was like to feel lost and alone.Everything you read in the news today about PTSD is in this book originally published in 2002 to serve as a guide to healing as well as a warning of what was coming for Iraq and Afghanistan veterans.

 I did not set out to do this work for all these years. All I wanted to do was help my husband see himself through my eyes. To see all the qualities I saw so strongly in him, that I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

Once I knew what PTSD was, I knew my love alone was not enough to help him. It never is, but if you love them enough, then you have to do whatever it takes to fight this battle when they come home to you.

You have the tools but you need to learn how they work or you'll stay stuck in the ditch of despair.

When you want to go someplace you have never been before, you get directions on how to get there. Think of this that way. This is a road map of getting around road hazards so you can find short cuts to get there.

It took a lot of years for me to be able to do this, but just as cell phones replaced road maps, getting where you want to go doesn't have to be done the old way. It just started by older people who cleared the road!

Kathie Costos DiCesare
Published on Apr 8, 2018
Why is combat less dangerous than coming home to us? That is the question I have been asking for over 3 decades. How is it they train to do their jobs, but we do not train to fight for them when they come home to us? They do their jobs. Why aren't we doing our jobs for members of our own family? If you ran out of excuses but did not run out of love, listen to someone who have been in this fight and won!

PTSD Service Stuff Stop Sign

Stop stuffing what your service does to you
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 20, 2018

If you made it your job to serve others, time to deal with it instead of stuffing it.

The only way to prevent PTSD is to stop all wars, crimes, fires, natural disasters and accidents. Think about that for a second. 

Now think about how you decided to make it your job...willingly putting your life on the line because all those things happen to people you don't even know.

Sure, you can understand when one of us has just been through something horrible and dealing with a lot. Why can't you understand when one of your own, or you, has to deal with a lot more because you face more of those times that could kill you?

While it may be difficult for the survivors, it is a lot hard for those we count on to help us become a survivor instead of victims.

Service members (including National Guard and Reservists) law enforcement, firefighters and emergency responders, face the same things the rest of us deal with but piled on top of that "everything else" are all the times you put your lives on the line. Even when you are not in an active situation, you are waiting for the next time. After all, that is what you get paid to do. Isn't it?


What you cannot forget, you stuff it to be able to just get on with your time off the job. The problem is, there is really no time you are totally off the job. You know when you are not on duty, someone else is.

It is what you decided to do with your life. It is what you trained to do. Did they tell you that you would no longer be human? Did they tell you that you were supposed to stop feeling?

Screw that! If you didn't feel anymore, then you wouldn't care anymore and you wouldn't want to do the job that could very well cost you your life!

You had to care deeply about life, or you wouldn't risk yours. That leaves a huge question. Then why don't you care enough about your own life to ask for help when you need it?

PTSD hit 1-out-of-3 Vietnam veterans. Hit 1-out-of-5 OEF and OIF veterans.

Police officers, according to Psychology Today article

There are approximately 900,000 sworn officers in the United States. According to some studies –19% of them may have PTSD. Other studies suggest that approximately 34% suffer symptoms associated with PTSD but do not meet the standards for the full diagnosis.

USA Today did a great report on combat veterans joining the police force afterwards.

• Veterans who work as police are more vulnerable to self-destructive behavior  — alcohol abuse, drug use and, like Thomas, attempted suicide.
• Hiring preferences for former service members that tend to benefit whites disproportionately make it harder to build police forces that reflect and understand diverse communities, some police leaders say.
• Most  law enforcement agencies, because of factors including a culture of machismo and a number of legal restraints, do little or no mental health screening for officers who have returned from military deployment, and they provide little in the way of treatment.

Ok, so now you understand that most of you stuff things instead of actively dealing with them and taking back lives. Now maybe you understand if you happen to be one of them, or one who never went to war, but put your life on the line all the same.

The truth is, suicide is hitting more veterans, police officers, firefighters and emergency responders. There comes a time when you start to see the signs that you should stop trying to stuff it and start doing something beyond getting numb or doing whatever it is that "takes you mind" off what is going on with you. Maybe it is time to fight back?

Maybe instead of accepting the fact you are willing to risk your life for strangers, you accept the fact that you need to start trusting the same people you risked your life with and let them know you need some help.

They would die for you, just as you would die for them. Do you really think they won't take the time to listen to you?

One more thing to consider is, there is nothing weak about someone like you. Actually, it requires you to have a deeper-stronger emotional core than the average citizen. It is also why you got hit harder than others did.

Ready to stop stuffing and start healing?

Be the hope they need to see that suffering is not all there is with PTSD

Not just a face in a crowd
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 16, 2018

How can you help a veteran with PTSD? The same way they were wounded in the first place. Whenever you see pictures of a wounded service member, you do not see massive crowds surrounding them. You see a few of the members of their own unit coming to help help. 

And that is how it needs to be done when the wound is cut deeply into their soul.

That is what Point Man International Ministries figured out over 3 decades ago. Treat them like a member of your family unit, know them like a brother or sister and then help them by standing by their side. Then they'll know they really matter.

A sailor of the USS North Dakota took a rifle and shot himself in the chest, but survived after crew members spent seven hours doing everything possible to save the unidentified sailor's life. The sailor may have been wondering if his/her life was worth living and they just proved beyond a doubt, it was.

The thing that keeps getting missed when discussing military suicides is, they valued the lives of others, they were willing to die to save someone else. The question is, why, after all these years, do they not see their own life is worth saving to others as well?

They show great courage above and beyond what most civilians are prepared to do. Yet when they are suffering because of what they had to face, they are not courageous enough to ask for help from the very people they trust with their lives.

We keep hearing about how the military and veterans communities have been working on getting the stigma attached to PTSD out of their heads, but that hasn't worked. Why haven't they tried plain, simple logic to explain what PTSD is and why they have it?

Why aren't service members and veterans leading groups after they overcame their own struggles with silence?

It isn't good enough to say you understand what they are going through if you do not have a story to tell of your own. You need to be able to share your own struggles with the veteran you are trying to help. In a large group, it seems that everyone is competing to tell their tales as if it is a contest to win as the most miserable.

In small groups, it is more about sharing and caring on a personal level. You can share what caused your heartache and then share with them how you ended up feeling better about your life.

You can be an example of not giving up on yourself as much as you prove you will not give up on them as long as they do everything possible to heal themselves.

You can make sure you stay in contact with them, encourage them to take the steps they need to get where they need to be. 

The only reason someone gives up is when they believe there is no hope of better days. Be the hope they need to see that suffering is not all there is to the rest of their lives!

If you are a veteran and want to offer this hope contact Point Man and start leading the way out of the lonely darkness and into a family of healing.

If you are a family member, then you can do the same for other families who have not been treated as if they are on the front lines of all of this.

Hotline: 1-800-877-VETS (8387)

Point Man Intl. Ministries

Po Box 267

Spring Brook, NY 14140

E -mail: dana@pmim.org

HQ Phone:1-716-675-5552

Point Man Intl. Ministries is a 501(c) 3 non-profit organization