“I can, I will… watch me.” female veteran, VA employee and miracle mentor

VA employee empowers her women Veteran peers

Department of Veterans Affairs
VAntage

“For women feeling alone, I want them to remember that their feelings are just as important as their male counterparts, and that there are many people and resources who are there for them." Ashley Gorbulja-Maldonado

VA’s Center for Women Veterans is advancing a cultural transformation throughout VA and aims to serve as a portal – monitoring and coordinating VA’s benefit services, outreach and programs – for women Veterans. One advocate is Ashley Gorbulja-Maldonado, a VBA employee and Army National Guard Veteran, who empowers other women Veterans with her mantra, “I can, I will… watch me.”

While Gorbulja-Maldonado found a purpose raising money for homeless women Veterans and their children by participating in Ms. Veteran American, advocating for business resources through Veterati, working with the American Legion, and presenting at workshops and conferences and more, she’s also worked to get her own women Veteran peers to actively engage with VA’s Women’s Health Services, the Center for Women Veterans, and the Office of Suicide Prevention.

Since the suicide rate for women Veterans is approximately twice that of non-Veteran women, and recent studies have shown the rate of suicide to be higher among women who report having experienced military sexual trauma (MST), Gorbulja-Maldonado’s mantra stresses setting the example for others to follow – including coming to VA.
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How one Army vet is lifting female service members

'It's a harder identification': How one Army vet is lifting female service members

Yahoo Finance
March 23, 2020

“I was a bit of a Private Benjamin,” she said. “I didn't know what I was getting myself into.”

When Lucy Del Gaudio parks in a veteran space, attends events for former service members, or is out with her husband on Veterans Day, she hardly is recognized.

“They're like: ‘Oh, thank you for your service, Mr. Del Gaudio,” said the Army vet from the Desert Storm era. “That's something that women face all the time... it's a harder identification and they automatically assume that he's the veteran, not you.”

That invisibility hurts female veterans in bigger ways — from homelessness to health care — and Del Gaudio is working hard to combat that. But it was a long journey for her as she had to first overcome sexual trauma she experienced in the military before giving back.

“I felt like my service was tarnished. I really didn't discuss it” until a friend in 2014 convinced her to join a veterans organization, se explained. “He goes: ‘Lucy, you should join. Your story should be heard. Other women veterans should know what you experienced and you could help them.’"
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Private Benjamin (1980) Official Trailer - Goldie Hawn, Eileen Brennan Movie HD

Female Marine Veteran's benefits cut off after VA used wrong address?

Happy UPDATE

In the wake of a KARE 11 investigation exposing a Marine Corps veteran facing eviction because of a VA mistake, a judge expunges the veteran’s record.

KARE 11 Investigates: Mail sent to wrong address puts family on brink of homelessness

KARE 11 NBC News
Author: A.J. Lagoe, Steve Eckert
Published: 12:13 PM CST February 3, 2020

A Marine Corps veteran had her PTSD benefits dropped from 100% to zero after VA sent important notifications to wrong address.

LAKEVILLE, Minn. — Join us Monday night for KARE 11 News at 10 p.m. to hear Maria's story.

“That’s my daughter’s dress,” Maria Jewell said, pointing to the picture of a little red dress listed for sale on an online garage sale.

“I feel like I failed her,” Jewell said, fighting back tears, “I’m supposed to be taking care of her, it’s not supposed to be the other way around.”

Instead of celebrating Christmas by buying gifts, Jewell and her teenage daughter resorted to selling their furniture and clothes just to put food on the table and gas in the car.

The family spent the holidays fearing the looming possibility they’d end up living in a shelter.

“I did not do anything wrong,” Jewell said. “And here I sit, can’t pay my rent, facing eviction.”

Their struggles could have been easily avoided.

A KARE 11 investigation discovered she was facing homelessness all because the Department of Veterans Affairs kept sending her mail to the wrong address, even though records show they had her correct address all along.

Still, the VA blames her for the mistake.

KARE 11’s investigation of improper ER bill denials led VA Inspector General Michael Missal’s office to discover years’ worth of mail piling up in processing centers around the country.
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After 20 Years Of Military Service, Giving Back To Female Vets

After 20 Years Of Military Service, This Single Mom Is Giving Back To Female Vets

HuffPost
01/30/2020

As a member of the military, “you understood your role. You had a very important — but also a very specific — role in military life, and so now you are finding that new path” in society.

COURTESY OF JESSICA CHAPMAN

Chapman in the cockpit of a C-5 Galaxy aircraft in October 2018.

Raising children while active in the military can provide a single mother with unique challenges.

For Jessica Chapman, mother of two 13-year-old twin daughters, every day of service to her country was an honor. But as she reflects on her time spent throughout her two-decade Air Force career and four deployments abroad, she says that it got harder and harder to leave them behind.

“It is an enormous sacrifice,” Chapman, 43, says, adding that her final deployment, a year-long installation to a post in Afghanistan, was especially hard for her daughters. “They were 7 years old when I left and 8 when I got back and [I missed] everything in between,” she says.
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Navy Veteran lost everything, until stranger wanted to help her

Homeless veteran gets second chance, thanks to kindness from a stranger

CBS 12 News
Kristen Chapman
January 24, 2020

"Don't be defeated by your situation, you defeat it." 

Bakita Denegal

LAKE PARK, Fla. (CBS12) — A Navy Veteran who had been living in her car in Lake Park for weeks was given a second chance from someone she had never even met before.

60-year-old Bakita Denegal spent 15 years in the Navy based in Virginia, then moved to Riviera Beach where she worked for the Riviera Beach Police Department. It wasn't until years after she retired when she found herself homeless.

"I never say why me? Because then I think, why NOT me," shared Denegal.

Denegal says she hit hard times when doctors discovered blood clots in her legs, and then found blocked arteries in her heart. The procedures kept her in the hospital for weeks at a time, twice in two months.

The hospital bills were so high, she couldn't afford her rent.

"He found I had blood clots in my legs, my thighs, my lungs because the right side of my heart was weak," she shared, "She [her landlord] mailed a copy of the money order back to me and it says, 'I don't want your rent.'"

Her landlord evicted her.

Derrick Dorsett owns the Kangaroo House Subs restaurant in Lake Park. However, he says it's only around to help fund his higher purpose, which is helping others through his non-profit "God's Loving Hands Feeding Homeless."
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Female Native American Veterans Struggle For Same Treatments Male Veterans Receive

Native American veterans still struggling to get the health care they were promised

Cronkite News
By Madeline Ackley
Jan 19, 2020

“It was very hard to get into,” Barnes-Saucedo said of the VA system. “Since I was freshly out of the military, I still had a hard time getting into a clinic down in the Phoenix VA.”

Vanissa Barnes-Saucedo said she hasn't received the same respect and resources as fellow Hopi veterans who are male. She is one of an estimated 133,899 Native American Veterans. Madeline Ackley Photo Cronkite News

KYKOTSMOVI — Vanissa Barnes-Saucedo was 21 when military recruiters stopped her in a shopping mall, waving enlistment papers in front of her. Although she says she wasn’t entirely sure what she was getting herself into, she signed the papers anyway.

For the next six years, Barnes-Saucedo was stationed around the world: Virginia, Colorado, South Korea, Kuwait and Iraq. However, by the time she was honorably discharged in 2014, she suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder.

When she returned home to northeastern Arizona, Barnes-Saucedo had difficulty navigating the Department of Veterans Affairs — the government agency in charge of veterans’ health care. She’s Hopi, born and raised on her tribe’s ancestral lands. The nearest full-service VA center, in Flagstaff, is a two hour drive; the VA campus in Phoenix is a four hour trip.

“It was very hard to get into,” Barnes-Saucedo said of the VA system. “Since I was freshly out of the military, I still had a hard time getting into a clinic down in the Phoenix VA.”

Although she didn’t mind making the trip, she said she was bothered by the treatment she received there.

“They made me feel like . . . I was making up some of the issues I was having,” she said. Barnes-Saucedo also wanted to make in-person doctor appointments but felt pressured by staff members to use the telemedicine service instead.

“I felt helpless . . . It was difficult,” she said. Eventually, she decided to go to her local Indian Health Service center, a government-run agency tasked with caring for Native populations.
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When "factors behind alarming suicide rate among women veterans" leaves out combat...that is part of the problem!

The factors behind alarming suicide rate among women veterans

KOAA News
By: Renae Skinner
Jan 15, 2020

Guthmiller talked about her struggles with PTSD after she got home from deployment. She says it's a very isolating feeling.
"I would feel alone, it's nerve racking, and little things would make me nervous," Guthmiller said. "It's a really hard thing to explain."

PUEBLO — When you think of the faces of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, usually our brave men in uniform come to mind. However, one group in the military we often forget is women.

The United States Department of Veterans Affairs says the suicide rate among women veterans is double that of women who don't serve.

A local veteran and professor spoke to News5 about what factors are contributing to this startling reality.

"Being in the military, we have to be strong because we are around men," Christine Guthmiller said. "We're trying to prove ourselves, and I think it's a stigma."

Guthmiller is a veteran and a financial coordinator at the Veterans Resource Center at Colorado State University-Pueblo.

According to the U.S. Office of Veterans Affairs, the suicide rate is higher among women who report military sexual assault, domestic violence, sexual discrimination and harassment-- all factors that can contribute to PTSD.
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Why did they choose to overlook combat itself?

Women have served this country...including combat operations, since the Revolutionary War. They have been awarded every medal, including the Medal of Honor. They have served in every branch...even before there were branches.

So why do we still assume military women do not get hit by PTSD for all the reasons males do? Is it so hard to acknowledge their service in all respects to that service?


Army Rangers

Since the school was opened to females in 2015, 42 women have earned the coveted Ranger tab.

U.S. Army Sgt. Danielle Farber, Pennsylvania National Guard 166th Regional Training Institute Medical Battalion Training Site instructor, and U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Jessica Smiley, South Carolina National Guard military police non-commissioned officer currently serving with the U.S. Army Training and Doctrine Command, graduate U.S. Army Ranger School at Fort Benning, Georgia, Dec. 13, 2019, as the first National Guard enlisted females to complete the leadership school. Smiley and Farber completed the mentally and physically challenging school, which focused on squad and platoon operations designed to prepare Soldiers to be better trained, more capable, and more resilient leaders. (Photo Credit: Sgt. Brian Calhoun) DECEMBER 17, 2019 SGT. BRIAN CALHOUN

Navy SEAL

Navy SEALs perform advanced cold weather training in Kodiak, Alaska.Eric S. Logsdon/U.S. Navy via Getty Images/File

For the first time ever, a woman has successfully completed the rigorous screening stage for the Navy SEAL officer training program, according to an independent publication Military.com.

Though she was not selected as a SEAL, the fact that she was able to make it past the screening stage is an accomplishment on its own.

Female candidates for these jobs are required to complete the same training as men. There are no special considerations based on an individual’s physical ability.

Marine Corps Recon

Marines with 3rd Reconnaissance Battalion, 3rd Marine Division, conduct combat rubber raiding craft training on Camp Schwab, Okinawa, Japan, on July 16. (Cpl. Josue Marquez/Marine Corps)

The first female Marine has passed the Basic Reconnaissance Course and earned the 0321 reconnaissance Marine military occupational specialty, or MOS, the Marine Corps has confirmed.

Lance Cpl. Alexa Barth graduated from the grueling 12-week course Nov. 7, 1st Lt. Sam Stephenson, Marine Corps spokesman, confirmed to Marine Corps Times Thursday.

Barth still has a few more training schools to go through before joining her unit at 1st Recon Battalion at Camp Pendleton, California, said Maj. Kendra Motz, spokeswoman for 1st Marine Division. Barth is expected to arrive at her unit late spring 2020.

It is long past the time when it is OK to dismiss what has been happening to our female veterans, or pass it all off as if PTSD is all about what happened to them as the "weaker" sex. Sure, the list above are part of the reasons female veterans get hit by PTSD, but no one assumes when a male talks about PTSD it has anything other than combat attached to it.

It is time to get this right...if we are ever going to make it right! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife

“I want to show it’s possible to suffer but also to recover."

Former Mansfield soldier who tried to end her life stars on SAS: Who Dares Wins

CHAD UK
By Andrew Topping
Tuesday, 14th January 2020

A former soldier from Mansfield who was told she may “never walk again” after trying to end her life has gone on to star in Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins.

“I want to show it’s possible to suffer but also to recover." Donna Watts

Donna Watts, 36, served for eight years in the armed forces, being stationed in Germany for seven – which also included six months in Afghanistan with the Marines.

Donna, who had “always struggled with my sexuality”, came out as gay while in the Army and was named as ‘best recruit’ during her development.

The former Mansfield Town Ladies footballer left the Army in 2010 and went on to work for South Yorkshire Police, putting her Royal Military Police expertise to good use.

But during her time in the police she began to develop post-traumatic stress disorder and had a “mental breakdown” – trying to end her life, which was almost successful.

She has shared her story to raise awareness about mental health and the risks of PTSD.

“I drove to Whitby and jumped 200ft from a cliff to end my life. I was rescued about 10 hours later by helicopter”, she said.
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Speak up when only the male receives a "thank you" for his service

Why do women wonder when their service will count?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 22, 2019

We read about it all the time. A couple is sitting together, both wearing military hats, yet it is only the male who receives a "thank you" for his service.

Someone forgot to inform the "thanker" that women have served this country since before it was a country.

ServiceWomen.org

Military women serving in war zones are such a common sight in worldwide media these days that their presence is little remarked upon.

In both Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom, military women from the U.S. and other countries have shown the mental and physical toughness needed to perform well under fire, to defend themselves and their comrades with courage, and to endure the conditions inherent to life in a combat zone.

Officially, women have been serving on active duty in the U. S. military since 1901. Unofficially, they have been serving since the American Revolution, during which time women like Deborah Sampson dressed as men to enter the Continental Army, while others, like Margaret Corbin, accompanied their husbands to camp and then onto the battlefield. It was during the Civil War that the U.S. government first recruited women to serve with the armed forces as nurses, albeit without military status. About 4,200 served with the Army of the North. During the Spanish-American War, the Army again recruited female nurses and again these women kept their civilian status. About 1,500 served. They were so successful that the War Department requested Congress to authorize establishment of an Army Nurse Corps. This was done as part of The Army Reorganization Act of 1901. The Navy Nurse Corps was established in 1908 by the FY 1909 Naval Appropriations Act (Public Law-115).

Today over 210,000 women serve on active duty in the military services of the Department of Defense (Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Air Force), and another 5,955 serve in the Active Coast Guard—part of the Department of Homeland Security in peacetime.

The Reserve Components are federal forces. Guard components play dual state and federal roles. Like most of the active forces, the Reserve and Guard components have an increasing percentage of women in their ranks. As of February 2018, women constituted 158,090 or 19.8 percent—of all personnel serving in the six DoD Reserve and Guard forces. Women number 1,067—or 17.4 percent—of all personnel serving in the Coast Guard Reserve.

Women have been bestowed with every military medal for heroism, including the Medal of Honor. Dr. Walker not only served during the Civil War, she was a POW.

Released from government contract at the end of the war, Dr. Walker lobbied for a brevet promotion to major for her services. Secretary of War Stanton would not grant the request. President Andrew Johnson asked for another way to recognize her service. A Medal of Honor was presented to Dr. Walker in January 1866. She wore it every day for the rest of her life.

And here are some more women who went above and beyond what many think women do for the country.

As of August there are 613 female Marines and sailors serving in previously all-male units ― representing an increase of 60 percent since 2018, the Marine Corps said. The number comes from December’s quarterly briefing from the Defense Advisory Committee on Women in the Services, a group meant to provide the Defense Department recommendations on how to improve gender integration throughout the military. Marine Corps Times

The first female Marine has passed the Basic Reconnaissance Course and earned the 0321 reconnaissance Marine military occupational specialty, or MOS, the Marine Corps has confirmed. Lance Cpl. Alexa Barth graduated from the grueling 12-week course Nov. 7, 1st Lt. Sam Stephenson, Marine Corps spokesman, confirmed to Marine Corps Times Thursday. Marine Corps Times

Females in the Army have achieved much and you can find a lot of them here.

What was unlikely, when she joined, was that she - a woman - would rise to higher ranks than her father, a Brigadier General. But she did, and on November 14, 2008, Ann E. Dunwoody became the first woman in U.S. military history to achieve the rank of General, which came with three more stars. Connecting Vets

General Lori Robinson, the highest ranking woman in U.S. military history, discussed the challenges that come with leading two commands at an event Monday, emphasizing how she wants to be recognized for her abilities and position—not her gender. Robinson—who is commander of North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) and United States Northern Command (USNORTHCOM)—explained how she leads “two commands with a common purpose.” Although each command has different responsibilities, she noted that they share the same objective—protecting the homeland. Duke Chronicle

Laura Yeager originally joined the military to help pay for college. Her father, retired California National Guard Maj. Gen. Robert Brandt, was a helicopter pilot who served two tours in Vietnam, but, she said in 2017, “I think my father was more surprised than anyone that I joined.” It was the start of a history-making career that has spanned more than three decades. Yeager flew Black Hawk helicopters in Iraq and served as the first female commander of Joint Task Force North in Fort Bliss, Texas, and on June 29, she became the first woman to lead an Army infantry division when she took command of the 40th Infantry Division in the California National Guard. TIME

FORT BENNING, Ga. -- Two Soldiers from the South Carolina and Pennsylvania National Guard are the first enlisted National Guard females to graduate from U.S. Army Ranger School. U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Jessica Smiley, a South Carolina National Guard military police non-commissioned officer serving with the U.S. Army Training and Doctrine Command, and U.S. Army Sgt. Danielle Farber, Pennsylvania National Guard 166th Regional Training Institute Medical Battalion Training Site instructor, completed the mentally and physically challenging school at Fort Benning Dec. 13. The school prepares Soldiers to be better trained, more capable and more resilient leaders. US Army

One of the Navy's smallest and most elite communities may soon have its first female members, Military.com has learned. Three enlisted women are now in the training pipeline to become special warfare combatant-craft crewmen, small-boat operators frequently teamed with Navy SEALs for infiltration and exfiltration missions. They also conduct reconnaissance and other missions in shallow-water regions. Military.com

None of these women were afraid to put their lives on the line when they enlisted. So why be afraid to to speak up and say that you served too?

Devastating to discover we were wrong

Getting wrong kind of help worse than none

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 3, 2019

If you are wondering why I could not post on this site for a while, it became impossible to be upbeat and share anything encouraging when we were being tortured for trusting the wrong people.

There are people we think we can count on to help us get to where we want to go. It can be devastating to discover we were wrong.

My husband and I decided to sell our house in Florida so that we could move closer to our daughter in New Hampshire. We turned to "friends" we had known for 15 years to sell it. Worst mistake of our lives!

I found a buyers agent to help us in New Hampshire. Catherine Allen was a stranger turned into a blessing. Our house was not getting much attention and she took a look at the listing. Catherine said the pictures were the biggest part of the problem and so was the price.

When I told our "friend" what Catherine said, that was the last time she took my phone call and would not respond to emails. I had no clue what the hell was wrong with her but what made it worse was what it did to us personally knowing that "friends" would treat us like that. 

Catherine proved she was watching out for us and knew the market in Florida even though she was in Maine.

I called Zillow to see what they would offer to just buy the house. Agents like our "friends" are a great reason why people would be willing to lose more money on the sale of their home and avoid a lot of extra stress no one needs piled on to their shoulders.

Zillow said that the agent would have to release it or we would have to pay the commission to them as well as the fee to Zillow. My husband called the husband of the agent since both of them were agents and thought of him as a true friend. Needless to say the response we got was that the would not release the listing. I was fed up!

I called the head of the agency and told him what they were doing and he said he would have them straighten it out. What followed was a series of angry emails from the husband. Since I worked for a title company, I turned to our agents and in turn to our legal department to find a lawyer we could trust.

Leo Brito of Nishad Khan got all the details on what happened. When he was reviewing it, more angry emails came in from the agent. The last one had two lies in just two sentences. He wrote that "we had an offer come in from "opendoor" are you interested in hearing the terms and conditions of that offer?" (He must have forgotten who I worked for, and knew how that business worked.) The next sentence was that his boss just talked to him, even though he had already sent the angry emails. I responded by telling him to stop contacting me and that he would be hearing from our lawyer.

I called Open Door and asked an agent if they ever cold called to make offers. After that agent stopped laughing, it gave me more ammo for our lawyer.

To top that off, Zillow contacted his wife to make an offer based on our conversation. As soon as he said who he was, she told him he had the wrong number, then hung up the phone.

Leo sent them notice that if they did not release us, it would head into litigation. They released the house so that we could get an agent who was actually interested in doing the work to sell the house and earn his commission.

We went with Wes Garrison of REMAX and he explained why the house was worth thousands less than it had been listed for. He sent our a professional photographer to take stunning pictures, including drone views of the area. We ended up with so many people coming to see it that we lost count. He was responsive to all of my questions and restored my faith in real estate agents. Basically he busted his ass to sell our house.

In less than 2 weeks, our house was under agreement! The best part of all is that the buyers were people we already knew. They loved the house almost as much as we did.

Hurricane Humberto was taking time going up the east coast, so we had to wait to fly up to New Hampshire to start looking for a house. Catherine had what we were looking for all lined up. We thought we found the right house in Maine and she got things moving fast since our house was being sold.

We flew back to Florida to start packing and she went to the home inspection, plus set us up with a mortgage broker. Brad Kelly of AnnieMac walked me through everything they needed and pushed to get it done in our timeframe. His whole team was fabulous, but the house we were planning on buying was not.

The inspection was bad enough that we had to walk away from it. We wanted to keep our word to the sellers, so we kept packing. On our 35th wedding anniversary, we sold the house. After the movers left, we headed to a hotel with our dog Murray.

Considering I was then unemployed and we did not know where we were going to end up living, basically homeless, this could have destroyed us if we let it. To top that all off, I left a job I love and people who were more like family than coworkers. 

I turned to my husband and said, "Yahoo! Our 35th anniversary...we're homeless and I'm unemployed! Second honeymoon road trip!"

Long story shorter, Catherine found us the house we ended up buying and the team at AnnieMac got it together so that in less than a month, we closed on this house in Rochester New Hampshire.

Murray settled in by claiming the family room as his.

Appropriately enough, less than a month after we moved in, we got this over the last couple of days. 

This is the view across the street. The snow plows cleared the road! Much like I hope to do for female veterans here in New Hampshire with clearing their way to healing after getting the wrong kind of help from people more interested in getting what they could instead of doing their jobs to help those who turned to them.

There is so much they cannot find because the road has been blocked by too many snow jobs making them believe there was no hope for them to get to where they want to go. They need to know that they can heal PTSD, and their lives can be so much better. So far, it seems that female veterans have been disregarded by most of the groups. When some people hear that a female veteran has PTSD, they automatically think it was sexual assault instead of caused by combat experiences...the same kind males go through. 

Point Man is ready to change that! I will be working with female veterans from all generations to let them know they matter equally They earned the gratitude, respect and help we are providing for free. With the veterans I have helped over all these years, I can attest to the fact that seeing their lives turn around is priceless!

Starting next Sunday, I'll begin the Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone again. I will also give updates on where the meetings will be as soon as I figure that one out.

If you are a female veteran in New Hampshire or Maine and need help, call me at 407-754-7526 or email woundedtimes@aol.com