Legacy of Healing PTSD From My Dad

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 22, 2021

When I think about my Dad, I often wonder how he'd feel if he knew what he started back in 1982. All these later, the number of lives changed because he served in Korea and he never knew about them. I am a living legacy to him and his life.

About a week ago, I received a strange message on Facebook from a man claiming to have pictures of my Dad in Korea. He wrote things that had to be true, so I called him. His Dad served with mine. The twist to the story is that his Dad probably never knew he had a son born in Korea. Yesterday he sent me pictures I had never seen before and I thought about my Dad a lot more than usual.

My Mom and oldest brother went to stay with him when he was in Japan.

We were a normal family. Both of my brothers were born on Army bases. He was a Staff Sergeant. He left the Army before I was born but I was a typical Army brat. I also grew up with uncles who served in WWII. That was all normal to me. I didn't discover it was not usual to have a family full of veterans, or that having living room furniture from Japan was odd, until I was older.

When I met my current husband, I was already divorced and only 23. The night he met my husband, he said, "He seems like a really nice guy but he's got shell shock." My husband is a Vietnam veteran. I had no idea what he was talking about and when I asked him to explain it, he told me to go to the library because war changes people.

I spent all my free time at the library with clinical books and a dictionary, learning as much as I could. The more I learned, the more I fell in love. Not just with the man I would end up marrying, but loved my Dad more and all veterans. Now they call it PTSD.

My Dad started what turned out to be my life's work. Thousands of articles, books, videos, several websites and more, all started because of my Dad's life in the Army. Over the years, I've had many messages thanking me for what I do and to pass appreciation on to my husband for his service. I just wanted you to know, that had it not been for my Dad, I don't think any of this would have started.

This is why today the featured video is, Dan Fogelberg, The Leader Of The Band.

If you've sent me emails thanking me for what I do, and thanking my husband for his service, I wanted you to know that none of this would have happened if my Dad didn't understand what he saw in my husband. It is a good reminder that we never know how much we do change the world when we are willing to do what we can, when we can, when we are willing to try.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Leader of the Band / Washington Post March

Dan Fogelberg

An only child

Alone and wild

A cabinet maker's son

His hands were meant

For different work

And his heart was known

To none --

He left his home

And went his lone

And solitary way

And he gave to me

A gift I know I never

Can repay

A quiet man of music

Denied a simpler fate

He tried to be a soldier once

But his music wouldn't wait

He earned his love

Through discipline

A thundering, velvet hand

His gentle means of sculpting souls

Took me years to understand.

The leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through

My instrument

And his song is in my soul --

My life has been a poor attempt

To imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy

To the leader of the band.

My brothers' lives were

Different

For they heard another call

One went to Chicago

And the other to St. Paul

And I'm in Colorado

When I'm not in some hotel

Living out this life I've chose

And come to know so well.

I thank you for the music

And your stories of the road

I thank you for the freedom

When it came my time to go --

I thank you for the kindness

And the times when you got tough

And, pap, I don't think I

Said 'I love you' near enough --

The leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through

My instrument

And his song is in my soul --

My life has been a poor attempt

To imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy

To the leader of the band

I am the living legacy

To the leader of the band.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dan Fogelberg

Leader of the Band / Washington Post March lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Phoenix House, a transition home for homeless women veteran's and their children

Transition home helps homeless female veterans get on their feet

CBS 46 News
Bobeth Yates
Feb 10, 2020

GRIFFIN, Ga. (CBS46) When you think of Griffin, Georgia you may think small rural community, but a Griffin nonprofit is all but small and they are making major impacts for veterans.

On Friday about 100 people gathered to witness Way Point Veterans Service Center's latest milestone.

"You pray about doing the right thing and doing good by people," said Way Point's founder Sandra Brownlee.

After two years of planning, the organization opened Phoenix House, a transition home for homeless women veteran's and their children. The project was completed with the help of Home Depot, multiple organizations and community stake holders. The house is renovated to serve five female veterans.

"Because there is no VA service centers in these rural community areas it’s just logical for me to service this area," added Brownlee.

The property for the transition home was donated by a church in Griffin, and even though the house is just for women and children, the nonprofit provides help for all veterans.
read it here

After 20 Years Of Military Service, Giving Back To Female Vets

After 20 Years Of Military Service, This Single Mom Is Giving Back To Female Vets

HuffPost
01/30/2020

As a member of the military, “you understood your role. You had a very important — but also a very specific — role in military life, and so now you are finding that new path” in society.

COURTESY OF JESSICA CHAPMAN

Chapman in the cockpit of a C-5 Galaxy aircraft in October 2018.

Raising children while active in the military can provide a single mother with unique challenges.

For Jessica Chapman, mother of two 13-year-old twin daughters, every day of service to her country was an honor. But as she reflects on her time spent throughout her two-decade Air Force career and four deployments abroad, she says that it got harder and harder to leave them behind.

“It is an enormous sacrifice,” Chapman, 43, says, adding that her final deployment, a year-long installation to a post in Afghanistan, was especially hard for her daughters. “They were 7 years old when I left and 8 when I got back and [I missed] everything in between,” she says.
read it here

Changing parts is hard, but it makes the ride better

Moving parts

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 16, 2019

Today is a hard post for me to put up. We are leaving Florida. After 15 years, hundreds of events and countless veterans coming into our lives, it is time to move back north.

Our daughter moved a few years ago and the last trip we took up there, it finally felt like Christmas for us. I miss our family and all the memories we had, as well as the change in seasons.

The heat and humidity down here is not good for someone with my health filming for hours in the sun most of the year.

That said, my life is like any vehicle with moving parts. There are changes as we all get older and we need to be prepared to stop being comfortable complaining about them. 

Each of us know when it is time to change but the trick is actually doing it.

My husband needed to let some people we know about the move before I went public with it. In this video, the move is mentioned, so I figured it was the best time to let readers know why things have been a bit out of whack for a while.

Between getting this house ready for sale and trying to find the area we want to move, it has been really draining my energy.

I promise that I will keep posting as long as I can on both sites and when I cannot, I'll start as soon as possible.  After all these years, I won't abandon you now.

OK, that's done.

In this video, Sgt. Dave Matthews and I are again talking about the book For the Love of Jack, His War My Battle.

Living with PTSD sucks! It can beat the crap out of any positive thoughts you have and kill off dreams of what you thought it would be like.

You have a choice. You can stay trapped by it or you can kick it in the teeth and refuse it let it define how you live your life from this point on!

It is hard on families when they do not know what to do, but I can assure you, if you are willing to do the work and learn as much as you can, you can win this battle for those you love too!

Face it. If I can do it, anyone can!

PTSD Patrol, weapons of love fighting ghost of their past

When your battle begins after their battle was supposed to end

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 9, 2019

The PTSD Patrol video is late today because I was doing an interview with Sgt. Dave Matthews for KLRN Radio show Remember the Fallen. It is heard on Thursdays at 8:00 pm eastern time.

We were talking about my book FOR THE LOVE OF JACK. This is part of the interview. If you want to hear the rest, you'll have to wait until  Thursday.

Next week, I'll have more of this.

Lyrics

This mans a child, this man is old

Sometimes he's mild, sometimes he's bold

This man I love, sometimes in spite

I wish he would stick to his guns, or abandon the fight

But when he shines, oh when he shines

Yes when he shines, he shines so bright

Sometimes a tramp, sometimes a dude

He changes colour just like a cameleon, cant find the mood

He is a song thats not easy to write

He is a moon in the morning, and the sun out at night

But when he shines, when he shines,

oh when he shines, he shines so bright

This mans a gentleman, this man is strong

This temperamental man plays me along

But when he shines, when he shines,

oh when he shines, he shines so bright

Yes when he shines, when he shines,

oh when he shines, he shines so bright

But when he shines, oh when he shines

Yes when he shines, he shines so bright

Songwriters: D. BUGATTI / F. PALMER

When He Shines lyrics © WB MUSIC CORP