PTSD Patrol Fire Rescue Battalion Chief Suicide Broke The Silence

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
August 9, 2020

Todays feature video is about a firefighter who had PTSD but couldn't find what he needed to heal. He sent out a plea for others to find the help they needed before he ended his own life. 

The story of Indian River County Fire Rescue Battalion Chief David Dangerfield is one of losing hope at the same time holding onto hope that his death could make a difference for those he left behind. 

His life ended in 2016, but his legacy goes on as more and more understand that PTSD is not just what military people get....#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The story of Indian River County Fire Rescue Battalion Chief David Dangerfield from TC Palm news

INDIAN RIVER COUNTY — Firefighters and paramedics are mourning the death of a man who worked alongside them for nearly three decades.

Indian River County Sheriff deputies went to a wooded area off State Road 60 west of Interstate 95 about 10:30 p.m. Saturday following a 911 call from Indian River County Fire Rescue Battalion Chief David Dangerfield, Sheriff's spokesman Lt. Eric Flowers said.

Dangerfield had driven his pickup to mile marker 13 about midway between I-95 and Yeehaw Junction, Flowers said. Dangerfield told dispatchers where he could be found, Flowers said. Deputies located the pickup and found Dangerfield a short distance away in the woods, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, the Sheriff's Office said.

Emergency Services Director John King sent an email late Saturday night to Dangerfield's co-workers about his death, Assistant Chief Brian Burkeen said.

"It is with great sadness I share with you the passing of Battalion Chief David Dangerfield this evening," King wrote in the email to his firefighters and paramedics. "Please keep Dave’s immediate and extended family in your thoughts and prayers."

Firefighter took back his life from PTSD, what are you waiting for?

‘I got my life back’: Four years into his recovery from PTSD, Frazee firefighter Scott Geiselhart spreads message of hope

DL Online
By Marie Johnson
Mar 6, 2019

“It took a suicide attempt to find out I had PTSD,” he says. “It was very unfortunate… I lost control of myself, so my suicide attempt was an attempt to regain control. But that was the worst decision I ever made in my life. I was confused. I was looking at things different than I do now… When I was in that place, I thought I was doing everybody a favor. That’s the darkness. That’s scary. When you lose control, you feel like you’re all alone.”

Scott Geiselhart, a longtime volunteer firefighter with the Frazee Fire Department, has been symptom-free from his PTSD and depression for about four years. He is pictured here with his service dog, Sarge. (Marie Johnson / Tribune)

Editor’s note: This is the second in an 8-part series of weekly feature stories written in conjunction with the “Inside Out” community campaign to normalize mental illness. The second “Inside Out” video, related to this story, is available to watch online at www.beckercountyenergize.com.

Imagine arriving at the scene of a bad accident. You see two crushed cars laying on their sides in the road. It’s your job to extract the crash victims from the insides of those cars. They’re hurt, and scared. One is just a child — about the same age as one of your own.

You do your job, you do everything right, but still, one of the victims doesn’t make it.

You step in and out of awful scenarios like this, over and over again, year after year after year. You can’t talk about any of it with your loved ones; it’s not allowed. You don’t want to talk about it with your colleagues; it’s not “macho.” So you swallow your emotions and carry on with life as best you can.

That’s what Scott Geiselhart did, for almost 20 years. As a longtime volunteer firefighter with the Frazee Fire Department, he witnessed trauma after trauma, and kept his feelings about it all bottled up. One day, that bottle got too full, and things started to spill over.

He started having horrible nightmares and jarring flashbacks of the accident scenes. To suppress the dark thoughts, he turned to alcohol, and to stay awake after sleepless nights, he started using meth. He isolated himself from his loved ones, trying to hide his addictions.

He felt scared, confused, and ashamed of his behavior. People around town always knew him as a good guy with a big heart, but at home his temper would flare, and he became verbally abusive toward his family. That led to more feelings of shame and guilt, and more drug use. He was spiralling out of control.

All the common signs of PTSD and depression were there, but he didn’t see any of that.

After more than 15 years of his symptoms getting progressively worse and worse, the bottle Geiselhart had been so desperately trying to contain everything in, finally broke open. Alone in his office one night, he picked up his gun, pressed it to his head, and pulled the trigger.
read more here

Getting help on the road with a push of a button

Flash for a healing chance
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 7, 2018

When your vehicle is having trouble, there is a simple button you push to let others know you need help. It turns on your hazard lights.

Everyone behind you sees those lights. They will either pass you by with caution, or they may try to help you.

This is from WheelZine
When to Use Hazard Lights
Though most people use hazard lights for mundane and unimportant things like speaking on the cell-phone while in traffic (which is illegal, mind you) or lighting a cigarette or adjusting the music system, the actual purpose behind the installation of these lights is to communicate a possible danger to the oncoming or passing traffic. Given below are some of the occasions when you can and should use hazard lights.

• When you are experiencing a sudden car problem in the middle of traffic, switch on the lights and slowly pull over. Keep the lights flashing till the problem is solved.
• In case of dense fog, you can switch on the hazard lights to warn traffic on both the sides of the road.
• When traffic on a usually traffic-free road is slow or stalled for some reason, you can turn on the hazard lights to indicate to the traffic behind you that traffic ahead of you is stalled.
• Another situation in which you can turn on hazard lights is when you are moving up a steep slope, which has caused your vehicle to slow down considerably. The blinkers will tell the vehicles behind you to proceed with caution.

In the 70's we had Mood Rings that were supposed to let other people know how we were feeling.

Chart of Mood Ring Colors and Meanings This chart shows the colors and meaning of the usual 1970s style of mood ring.

This chart shows the colors of the typical 1970s mood ring and the meanings associated with the mood ring colors:
Amber: Nervous, unhappy, cool
Green: Average, calm
Blue: Emotions are charged, active, relaxed
Violet: Passionate, excited, very happy
Black: Tense, nervous (or broken crystal)
Gray: Strained, anxious
The color of the warmest temperature is violet or purple. The color of the coolest temperature is black or gray.

Wouldn't it be great if all you had to do was push a button or show a ring to let people know you needed help? It would make life easier. The thing is, in reality, no one will come to help you if they do not know you need it!

You do have to do something to let them know you need help to get up that steep slope to #TakeBackYourLife. 

The first step is finally accepting the fact that you are not a victim. You are a survivor. You survived the event that set PTSD off in the first place. 

Second step is understanding that while about 7 million Americans have PTSD, and most of the time, from one event in their lives, you faced multiple times on your job, plus what could have happened just living as a simple citizen.

Thirdly, possibly the most important thing to accept is, that while you would have sacrificed your life to save others, the others you were with decided to dedicate their lives to saving as well. How much you want to bet they would do the same for you? After all, you'd do it for them. Wouldn't you?

The only risk you are taking is trusting them enough to let them know you need help. If you trust them with your life, then trust them all the way!

Built in shock absorbers wear down over time

Shock Absorbers Surround You!
PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone
Kathie Costos
August 26, 2018

When we got the idea to turn PTSD Patrol into something related to vehicles, it was odd, to say the least. Once explained that people understand the vehicle they drive a lot more than the vehicle they live in, it only made sense to do it this way.

There are a lot of automotive parts that can be used to explain the vehicle you live in. Your body is your ride and we are all different but the stuff that makes it work can be linked to the stuff that goes into the vehicle you drive.

If you took a job to save others, you took on a lot more than most people have to deal with on a daily basis. That is why there are over 7 million citizens with PTSD, and you helped most of them survive.

If lives of strangers meant that much to you, then don't you think they matter to those you serve with? Ok, then why don't you get that your buddies would want to save you too?

Read about shock absorbers From Firestone

HOW DO STRUTS AND SHOCKS WORK?

The suspension on your car is made up of many components, including a set of springs that absorb bumps and road impact, a set of struts that support your springs, and a set of shocks (short for shock absorbers) that limit the bounce your car experiences by absorbing residual movement in suspension springs.

Without properly maintained struts and shocks an unexpected pothole, or even a gravel road, can actually cause the wheels of a vehicle to bounce off of the ground, which can easily lead to loss of control and collision.

REPLACE SHOCKS AND STRUTS ON YOUR VEHICLE

Since well-maintained shocks and struts critically contribute to the overall safety and stability of your vehicle's steering and suspension, we highly recommend having shocks and struts serviced regularly and well before there is an issue. That said, if you observe any of the following symptoms while you are in your vehicle or looking under the hood, it may mean it has time to bring your vehicle to your local Firestone Complete Auto Care center for service right away:

SHOCK AND STRUT REPLACEMENT SYMPTOMS OBSERVABLE WHILE DRIVING THE VEHICLE

• Excessive vehicle bouncing
• Nose of the vehicle dips down, especially when coming to a stop
• The vehicle sways and leans when turning corners or changing lanes
• Not enough bounce; the ride seems stiff
• Steering response is poor, or noise is heard when steering
• Feels very unstable at high speeds

PTSD Patrol: Does your radiator cool your engine enough?

Crying keeps your engine cool!
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 6, 2018

We have all heard the saying "men don't cry" but that must have originated from a man who couldn't do it. Think of what he was like. He must have been one nasty individual.

Imagine not being able to cope with strong emotions. Then again, imagine what it must have been like to not be able to release that negative power. His engine must have overheated all the time.

Radiators A radiator is an integral part of your car’s engine coolant system. Its primary task is to keep the engine cool — if the radiator were to malfunction, the pistons would seize up, destroying the engine. In effect, the radiator along with the rest of the cooling system is your personal insurance against a devastating repair bill.

If you have PTSD after doing your job, then there are things you need to know beyond what you imagine.

You may think that others like you do not need to cry. After all, you are so courageous that you were willing to die for the sake of someone else. Right? Why were you willing to do that? Is it because you did not care about any of them?

Would it help to know that one of the most courageous men to walk this earth cried? 

He was feeling such empathy for someone else, he could not control his emotions and he wept.

I am sure by now you know where I am going with this. That man was Jesus. When He was in the garden, knowing His days on earth were coming to an end, He had such and inner struggle going on that when He did not weep, the emotional pressure was so great that his sweat came out as drops of blood.

42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” 43 An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.44 And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. (Luke 22)

His engine overheated. Now, sure, you can dismiss all of this but then you'd have to dismiss the fact that Jesus knew all along who He was and what He was supposed to do. He also knew when it would happen. 

All His time on earth was spent doing things for others out of love. Some say it did not end well for Him, but they are missing the point that it ended the exact way it was supposed to. Think of how brave He was and then think of how even He cried for someone else.

Jesus could have dismissed the sister of Lazarus, knowing He would restore her brother to the living, but He was overpowered by the love she had for him.

Is there anything that is blocking your engine? Is there any reason you are allowing your engine to heat up instead of cooling off so the rest of your journey goes on?

Bad feelings need to be released so that good can come in again. Unscrew the cap and let the water flow!

Ecclesiastes 3 King James Version (KJV)
3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

I could have edited this video because of a mistake I made, but why pretend I am perfect? In the video I am talking about what is in Ecclesiastes, but I must have had the Birds song on my brain. It turns out that the way this was originally written, it is perfect. There is a time to weep and a time to laugh. Stop letting your engine overheat and cool it down.

PTSD Service Stuff Stop Sign

Stop stuffing what your service does to you
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 20, 2018

If you made it your job to serve others, time to deal with it instead of stuffing it.

The only way to prevent PTSD is to stop all wars, crimes, fires, natural disasters and accidents. Think about that for a second. 

Now think about how you decided to make it your job...willingly putting your life on the line because all those things happen to people you don't even know.

Sure, you can understand when one of us has just been through something horrible and dealing with a lot. Why can't you understand when one of your own, or you, has to deal with a lot more because you face more of those times that could kill you?

While it may be difficult for the survivors, it is a lot hard for those we count on to help us become a survivor instead of victims.

Service members (including National Guard and Reservists) law enforcement, firefighters and emergency responders, face the same things the rest of us deal with but piled on top of that "everything else" are all the times you put your lives on the line. Even when you are not in an active situation, you are waiting for the next time. After all, that is what you get paid to do. Isn't it?


What you cannot forget, you stuff it to be able to just get on with your time off the job. The problem is, there is really no time you are totally off the job. You know when you are not on duty, someone else is.

It is what you decided to do with your life. It is what you trained to do. Did they tell you that you would no longer be human? Did they tell you that you were supposed to stop feeling?

Screw that! If you didn't feel anymore, then you wouldn't care anymore and you wouldn't want to do the job that could very well cost you your life!

You had to care deeply about life, or you wouldn't risk yours. That leaves a huge question. Then why don't you care enough about your own life to ask for help when you need it?

PTSD hit 1-out-of-3 Vietnam veterans. Hit 1-out-of-5 OEF and OIF veterans.

Police officers, according to Psychology Today article

There are approximately 900,000 sworn officers in the United States. According to some studies –19% of them may have PTSD. Other studies suggest that approximately 34% suffer symptoms associated with PTSD but do not meet the standards for the full diagnosis.

USA Today did a great report on combat veterans joining the police force afterwards.

• Veterans who work as police are more vulnerable to self-destructive behavior  — alcohol abuse, drug use and, like Thomas, attempted suicide.
• Hiring preferences for former service members that tend to benefit whites disproportionately make it harder to build police forces that reflect and understand diverse communities, some police leaders say.
• Most  law enforcement agencies, because of factors including a culture of machismo and a number of legal restraints, do little or no mental health screening for officers who have returned from military deployment, and they provide little in the way of treatment.

Ok, so now you understand that most of you stuff things instead of actively dealing with them and taking back lives. Now maybe you understand if you happen to be one of them, or one who never went to war, but put your life on the line all the same.

The truth is, suicide is hitting more veterans, police officers, firefighters and emergency responders. There comes a time when you start to see the signs that you should stop trying to stuff it and start doing something beyond getting numb or doing whatever it is that "takes you mind" off what is going on with you. Maybe it is time to fight back?

Maybe instead of accepting the fact you are willing to risk your life for strangers, you accept the fact that you need to start trusting the same people you risked your life with and let them know you need some help.

They would die for you, just as you would die for them. Do you really think they won't take the time to listen to you?

One more thing to consider is, there is nothing weak about someone like you. Actually, it requires you to have a deeper-stronger emotional core than the average citizen. It is also why you got hit harder than others did.

Ready to stop stuffing and start healing?

PTSD Patrol "the direction of your life changes to forward"

Welcome to PTSD Patrol! It is May 1st, and Military Appreciation Month. I couldn't think of a better day to start this site.

Have you ever heard the term "MAYDAY-MAYDAY-MAYDAY" and right away acknowledged someone needed help? Do you think the one calling it out is too weak to take care of themselves? Or do you think they need help? Ok then WFT is your problem being on the other end of the help line?

WARNING: I am a Greek/Scottish/Chaplain originally from the Boston area, hang out with veterans and bikers, plus I drink, smoke and swear. If you're looking for spiritual healing, you'll find it but keep all that in mind. I don't mess around with words.  I've been doing this work for over 3 decades, so don't be shy about using the words around me either. As we go along, this site may have to be member only, but we'll see how it goes. I work full time but will try to do something everyday on here.

Up to this point in your life, you've heard a lot of the tragic outcomes of suicides connected to service. Bet they didn't tell you exactly how tragic it is when we're talking about folks putting so much value on other lives they were willing to die for their sake.

Yep, that came with the jobs all of you had. No matter what price you had to pay, the hardships and endless hours, you were willing to do it. Sure other humans get hit by PTSD by one single event, but your risk came with your job.

From this point on, the direction of your life changes to forward because we're going to get you to stop looking back. It isn't about forgetting what happened, as much as it is making sense out of it and making peace with it. 

What is PTSD?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder seems like a bad term but when you break it down, it actually makes perfect sense.

Post means after something. Trauma is Greek for wound. So far you have experienced something that changed your life and left a wound. The event caused your whole body to go into stress mode. Everything you thought, felt and what was "normal" in you got out of order. See the hope there?

Ok then, try this. It means you survived "it" and all wounds can heal with the proper treatment. Stress does not last forever and for the "disorder" part, it means that it can be put back into order again. Nothing fell out of you even though it fell out of place.

The "you" you always were is still in there. With a lot of work, you can change how you are living and stop suffering as much as you are. There are things about PTSD that cannot be reversed but you can lean how to cope with them. The even better news is that you can actually come out on the other side better than before.

PTSD is change. Basically, you can change again.

The most important thing of all is understanding what it is and why you have it. It is not a mental illness. It is not even considered an anxiety disorder anymore. It is all by itself because the only way to get hit by PTSD is after trauma slams into you. It does not begin in you but invades you.

It has nothing to do with being weak at all but more about the strength of your emotional core. You carried away your own pain but the pain of others as well.

Starting today, take back control over your life.

A wise Marine veteran said, "PTSD does not have to control you. Just because you have PTSD it does not mean it has you!"

No doom! No gloom! No bad news on this site! Just a reminder of this simple fact. This second onward is within your control!

PTSD Patrol Putting You in Control Over Your LIfe

I don't know about you but I am sure you're tired of hearing all the doom and gloom about PTSD as if there is nothing to look forward to. After all, right now everyone is talking about raising awareness on suicides, changing nothing about the outcomes for far too many families.

Here you will find ways to change the outcome in your life or the life of someone you love. 

Whatever you thought about PTSD yesterday, today is the day you discovered the most important thing of all. Today is the day you finally become aware of the fact that you will have PTSD the rest of your life but from this day on, you take back control over it instead of giving up.

There are many different causes of PTSD and all humans can get hit by events that are life altering in a bad way. While you are still only human and susceptible to everything else, you are not like everyone else. 

We're going to separate the term from this point on to SPTSD because this is all about PTSD related to your service to others. Military, police, firefighters, emergency responders and anyone on the front lines responding to the events that change everyone else. 

Humans can get hit by one single event, but you made a career out of a face off with death. The odds were stacked against you but you were in possession of somethings lacking in the rest of humanity. Courage and compassion to be willing to die for the sake of someone else.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.John 15:13

And this is from a Marine veteran talking about how much his life changed in just one year. After he thought he lost everything, including his best friend to suicide, he found what was within him all along and shares a message of hope that you can heal too!

The veteran in the following video did not win his own battle but he was part of a tribute video.



Do you want to heal? It means you need to do a lot of work on yourself, which thinking about yourself is one of the hardest things for you to do. You always came last. Think of it this way, the more you heal the more you can help others needing to do the same.