"The loneliest kind of lonely" is when there is no one else like you. I know that feeling because when I started working on PTSD, I didn't know anyone like me. It was lonely because we didn't have the internet and the only information I could find was at the library reading clinical books. Nothing strange about that since it was in 1982.
In 1993, I finally got a computer and then I found other people talking about PTSD. I started my first site on AOL, then it was on a website where I went by NamGuardianAngel. Back then, since I was unique, I had a lot of emails and phone calls. There were even more when I wrote my first book in 2002.
In 2006 I started making videos on PTSD on YouTube and in 2007, I started Wounded Times.
All that work was worth it even though it was never to make money. Sure I wanted to at least break even but the thing was, the work itself kept me going. Getting feed back and reading messages let me know, it mattered to the people I was trying to help.
In 2007 I posted a massive post about suicides hoping that someone with the power to do something would. Once all the groups started to pop up all over the internet and social media, the emails and messages started to go down. I was reading more and more about veterans suffering and very little being done to help them. The problem was, they were doing something about it by using them to make money.
I didn't give up and made more videos, posted more and tried to reach out as much as possible. It got lonelier and lonelier. In 2017 I started PTSD Patrol hoping that with PTSD in the title, I could gain control over the conversation again, and give veterans hope and families understanding.
Last year, it was too much for me, reading the reports of suicides going up in the veterans' community and within the military itself. My heart was breaking. I decided to stop focusing on them and started to open the work up to anyone with PTSD. PTSD Patrol passed 100,000 page views recently.
Today I was on Facebook and almost fell off my chair when I saw something I did used to promote a group that is doing something I find sickening. Yes, they are doing suicide awareness! They used this image with my graphic. Topped off with sticking their logo all over it as if they owned it! I won't post their image here but you can find it on my other site.
This is the link to my post from 2013. It is one of the oldest ones I could find, but considering how long I've been doing this work, it could be even older. I do not put my name or logo on images unless I own the image. I don't even do it when I totally change the picture because the picture someone else took inspired me to do the message. I respect their work! I do put my name and logo on things I totally create but that doesn't stop people from just taking my work and removing my name. That not only shows they do not respect the work others have done, they do not respect the people they claim to be in business for.
This is why the featured video today is Respect Yourself sung by Melissa Etheridge.
This isn't a compliment. It is just one more time when work I've dedicated my life to since 1982, invested thousands of dollars into sharing, plus hundreds of hours training to do, along with all the other years of researching, countless phone calls and emails, plus all the videos, was just something for someone else to take from me.
Had this group asked for permission, like many others have, when they are doing something I think is repulsive, I would have told them no. Their mission is going in the wrong direction and the facts have proven this does not work. Saving lives requires more than a slogan. Groups like this are the reason veterans couldn't find me anymore and I had to give up on helping them. My heart couldn't take it anymore. It was being ripped out by continually being reminded of the publicity these groups get, and the number of suicides increasing.
Last year I decided since I survived over 10 events, I could help more people by opening this work up to everyone who has PTSD to give them hope and show them the way to #TakeBackYourLife, while all these groups do is talk about veterans as if they are just a number. A number they do not even come close to understanding.
I respected the veterans I was helping enough to provide them with what they needed to know. Like when I started posting about them committing suicide back in 2007. I thought all that was needed was for me to put together a powerful post that would get someone to change what was going on and then they could heal too. I never expect it to turn into a billion dollar industry with stunts! I respected then enough to give them the facts, so the only thing I posted was news reports and government reports. When those reports were wrong, I posted the truth and did rebuttals.
In 2009, when the DOD was pushing their programs that were doomed to fail, I posted how it would increase suicides because it told service members they could "train their brains to be mentally tough" which they understood as having a weak mind if they ended up with PTSD.
If these groups do not respect veterans enough to tell them what they need to hear to stay alive, heal and be happier, do not respect those who came long before they were even wondering, then maybe you should consider if you should support them or not.
I am not doing a video today because you know how much I'd be swearing about all this! Check back tomorrow for a better attitude from me. (I hope)
Respect Yourself
If you disrespect anybody that you run in to
How in the world do you think anybody's s'posed to respect you
If you don't give a heck 'bout the man with the bible in his hand, y'all
Just get out the way, and let the gentleman do his thing
You the kind of gentleman that want everything your way, yeah
Take the sheet off your face, boy, it's a brand new day
There are three basic requirements that a work must meet to be protected by copyright. The work must be:
Original: To be original, a work must merely be independently created. In other words, it cannot be copied from something else. There is no requirement that the work be novel (as in patent law), unique, imaginative or inventive.
Creative: To satisfy the creativity requirement a work need only demonstrate a very small amount of creativity. Very few creations fail to satisfy this requirement.
Fixed: To meet the fixation requirement, a work must be fixed in a tangible medium of expression. Protection attaches automatically to an eligible work the moment the work is fixed. A work is considered to be fixed as long as it’s sufficiently permanent or stable to permit it to be perceived, reproduced, or otherwise communicated for a period of more than transitory duration.
If I do not create the image itself, take the picture or use Photoshop to make it, then I do not put my name on it. I only own the changes I make to the picture. In this case, We Are The 22 took my work and put their logo on them without the right to do it.
I am so pissed off right now my head is ready to explode! This is not going to be one of those cheery post with a chair dancing song, I picked I Am Broken Too by Killswich Engage for this reason.
I was on Facebook and a veteran friend of mine I've known for decades, posted about "22 veterans committing suicide today" and I flipped out! After 38 years of posting, tracking, treating veterans spiritually, educating and advocating, it meant nothing! Over 500 videos on YouTube, 3 books and way too many posts to count on Wounded Times along with my older sites and I had to read something like this from someone I know? WTF!
If you need help, veteran, family member or anyone dealing with PTSD, I know what it is like to feel lost and alone. I know what PTSD does as a survivor of over 10 events. What it was like for my veteran husband and what it was like for the veterans whose lives I saved! Above all, I know what it is like to need help and NOT FIND IT! So yes, I've been broken, beaten down and still willing to do the best I can everyday because this is something that is in my DNA after all these years.
If you need help, email me woundedtimes@aol.com or call me 407-754-7526. Read the posts on PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times.
You carry this weight trying to cover your mistakes
To make it seem like nothing could ever break you
But I see right through, 'cause I am broken too
In all the same places as you
And if you needed proof, I'll reopen my wounds
Reopen my wounds, yeah
I see myself in you (in you)
I know you can make it through
If you needed proof, I'll reopen my wounds
In all the right places for you
So now you see the truth that you are broken too
I'll reopen my wounds for you
I keep making the same mistakes, just to feel alive again
It's the only way to break on through
So stop numbing all the pain
'Cause it just won't go away (won't go away)
If you only knew how much I needed you
And if you needed proof, I'll reopen my wounds (my wounds)
In all the right places for you
I can see the truth 'cause I am broken too
I am broken too (broken just like you)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Adam Dutkiewicz / Jesse Leach / Joel Stroetzel / Justin Foley / Mike D'Antonio
And for Combat PTSD Wounded Times, it is number 10!!!!
Considering this has all been accomplished by hard work and LOYAL READERS LIKE YOU SHARING THAT WORK, THANK YOU IS JUST NOT ENOUGH TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH PEOPLE LIKE YOU MEAN TO ME!!!!
All that work was worth it even though it was never to make money. Sure I wanted to at least break even but the thing was, the work itself kept me going. Getting feed back and reading messages let me know, it mattered to the people I was trying to help.
