Don't miss "the miracle of the moment"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 11, 2021

Why is it that we want to change what has already been done, unsay what has already been said and change the path we chose to take, only to discover it was a huge mistake? We can't change a damn thing that happened up do a second ago. Still none of us have to settle for what came from all we got wrong because we can change this second onward. That is the "miracle of the moment. Today's featured video is Steven Curtis Chapman, This Moment.

Yes, you can change and you have the power to do it. Do you feel bad about something you said? Then apologize and say something better. Give the person you said it to a chance to accept your apology but, understand that it has already been said. It may take time to rebuild whatever relationship you had with them. At the very least, if they do not forgive you, you opened the door to begin to forgive yourself for just being a human who was wrong.

Sure it sucks to be wrong but it sucks more to stay wrong. Change now by learning from your past because that is all it is good for.

Part of having PTSD is being on guard. Hearing more than someone actually said, and taking it as a personal attack against you, or overblowing everything, causes a rift that could destroy a relationship. When you understand that, then you can think about how you react in the furture, but it does not change what has already been done. Only you can do that by making new memories for them, and yourself to overpower the bad memories you have. You can start this moment to make a miracle for your future.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

This Moment

Steven Curtis Chapman

It's time for letting go

All of our if only's

'Cause we don't have a time machine

And even if we did

Would we really want to use it

Would we really want to go change everything

'Cause we are who and where

And what we are for now

And this is the only moment

We can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

There's only one who knows

What's really out there waiting

In all the moments yet to be

And all we need to know

Is he's out there waiting

To Him the future's history

And He has given us

A treasure called right now

And this is the only moment

We can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears

Then taste them as they fall

And let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter

Then throw your head back

And let it go, let it go, yeah

You gotta let it go

And listen to your heartbeat, yeah

Breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

Breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Matthew Bronleewe / Steven Curtis Chapman

Miracle of the Moment lyrics © BMG Rights Management 

"And since I lost you, it feels like years"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 1, 2021

Relationships are hard under any circumstances. Different personalities, thoughts, needs and wants. They require a lot of work. It is hard to stay and can be hard to leave. If you cared about someone, but felt you had to cut them out of your life, it is hard. What makes it worse is, when you discover you were wrong. Being in a relationship with someone with PTSD is hard. It is damn near impossible when they refuse to get help. It is hell when neither of you know what it is!

A lot of people have spilt up with someone they cared about because there was no hope of restoring a normal relationship, or a functioning one. I've talked to a lot of people over the years who were beating themselves up for ending the relationship...most of the time, their marriages. When they realized they were dealing with PTSD in the one they ended up cutting out of their lives, they try to reconnect. 

It has happened, and there were a lot of happy endings with relationships restored, even if they were different. Sometimes there were other marriages that followed, but at least they were talking. That is a great thing if the couple had kids. Sometimes the couple decided to get re-married because love was still there.

Sometimes it is too late for any of it and regrets cannot be fixed. They can only be forgiven. If you didn't know what PTSD was, and tried to get back in touch with someone, forgive yourself. Understand that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Then learn all you can about it to give you the tools to do that. Knowing the cause and what it does will help you understand them, and why you reacted the way you did.

If you are the one with PTSD and you ended the relationship because you didn't understand it, take the time to understand all you can about it now so that you'll understand why they treated you the way they did, as well as why you treated them the way you did. If they won't talk to you, forgive them and yourself.

Today the featured song is The Beatles, You Won't See Me.

You Won’t See Me

The Beatles

While it may be too late to see them...it is never too late to forgive them or yourself.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

When I call you up

Your line's engaged

I have had enough

So act your age

We have lost the time

That was so hard to find

And I will lose my mind

If you want see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

I don't know why you (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

Should want to hide (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I can't get through (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

My hands are tied (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I won't want to stay (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I don't have much to say (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I'd get turned away (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

And you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you want see me

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Yeah!

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Mccartney / John Lennon

You Won’t See Me lyrics © Sony/atv Tunes Llc 

Struggling to forgive?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 14, 2021

I have been struggling with this one all day. I thought it would be good to do a message on forgiveness, especially after what happened last week in Washington when the Congress was attacked. After several attempts to do the video, I realized the Impeachment hearing yesterday troubled me more than I thought it did. 

As I listened to some people defend the president, pretend it didn't happen, or say it was time to move on because he would be out of office next week, I was sick to my stomach. It was almost as if they were saying it was no big deal at all.

I was about to change the message of the day so that I could do a positive one, until it made more sense to just do it from where I am emotionally right now. After all, there are a lot of people going through the same thing and all of us will have to reach the point where we are able to forgive those who betrayed the rest of us. Considering that 53% thought he should be impeached, there are a lot of us.

We are seeing many of the images of the people online. Their anger was on full display, but so was their pride. One man who was carrying the Confederate flag, was arrested along with his son. The FBI found him because he went back to work and was bragging about what he did. That is something that most of them did...because they were proud of themselves. Will they be so proud when the next picture taken of them is their mugshot? Will they be so proud when they lose everything they built in their lives up until they decided to violate the People's House? How are they feeling right now as they face charges tide to insurrection after the president came out and condemned what they did, after he encouraged them to do it?

What will they do now that he no longer has any use for them? Who will they believe when he is no longer able to lie to them and betray the trust they placed in him to the point where they were willing to pay any price to serve him? 

So yes, even they are struggling. One of them committed suicide.

They will be arrested and charged and we will begin to heal, but the damage they did will change the way we look at each other for a long time. 

If you are struggling with this, then, reach out to God for help to forgive them. I know that is what I will be doing because I do not want to allow what they did to hold any more place inside of me than it has already taken up.

O God Forgive Us

KING and COUNTRY 

We've prayed the prayer with no reply

Words float off into the night

Couldn't cut our doubt with the sharpest knife

Oh, oh God forgive us

Silence isn't comfortable

We want drive through peace and instant hope

Our shallow faith it has left us broke

Oh, oh God forgive us

Oh, oh God forgive us

Enslaved to our uncertainty

Help us with our unbelief

Oh God forgive us

Young and old, black and white

We're rich and poor, there's no divide

Hear the mighty, hear the powerless, singing

Oh, oh God forgive us

Oh, oh God forgive us

Forgive us

Yes, we have ignored You

So busy doing Your work that we forgot that this was for You

Arms wide to our homeless Savior

But arms crossed to our homeless neighbor

On bended knee, unite us all

Set us free

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hand up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hands up and open wide, open wide
With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hand up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hands up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hand up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky
Hands up and open wide, open wide

Oh, oh God forgive us

Oh, oh God forgive us

Enslaved to our uncertainty

Help us with our unbelief

Oh God forgive us

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mosley Seth David / Smallbone Joel David / Smallbone Luke James

O God Forgive Us lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Shankel Songs, Method To The Madness, Kilns Music, Word Music, Llc, Dayspring Music, Llc 

Giving yourself a gift this year?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

December 25, 2020

Merry Christmas! While it seems there isn't much to be merry about this year, there is if you look for it.

Maybe you didn't get what you wanted, or you were not able to get what someone else wanted. Maybe you have so many worries that feeling as if you are supposed to be celebrating, seems like torture. How do you celebrate Christmas when it feels like just when you thought this year couldn't get any worse....it did?

HOPE! That is what Christmas is supposed to be all about. Listen to the Christmas songs we all grew up with. (Not the funny ones I've been putting up the last few days.) Did you notice that most of them are about hope?

Between the Birth in the manger and the crucifixion on the Cross, Jesus lived a life of awesomeness! We read all about His miracles, but we tend to forget how much He suffered.

He knew what it was like to be hungry.

He knew what it was like to be lonely.

He knew what it was like to feel abandoned.

He knew what it was like to be betrayed.

He knew what it was like to grieve so much He wept.

He knew what it was like to do the right things for the right reasons and be hated for them.

He knew what it was like to be called a liar.

Yet with even more evidence of His suffering, He lived His life serving others, preaching of God's love, performing miracles, giving hope to those who had forgotten what hope in their hearts felt like, and proving to them they were loved!

One of the greatest gifts He gave was teaching them the importance of forgiving.  It was not for the sake of those who hurt Him, or those who hurt you, but more about giving yourself a gift.

Jesus didn't let what others did to Him, stop Him from being true to what He knew was right. He didn't hate those He was willing to die for, even after they betrayed them. He asked His Father to forgive them, because they had no idea what they were doing.

If we hang onto those who hurt us, the wrong done to us, then we rob ourselves of all the good that could replace what is harmful to us. Forgive others and take away the power they retain in your heart. They do don't deserved to remain there. 

Understand that if you are doing the right thing, then it is their problem, not yours. If you did the wrong thing to them, apologize to them. If they accept it, then all is well. If they do not, then it is again their problem. 

If you are having a hard time forgiving, then pray for the strength to do it, because Jesus knows what it is like to be you!

PTSD in COVID spreader survivors

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 3, 2020

There are a lot of people recovering from COVID-19, and some will carry the lingering effects of it for many years. While most people are doing whatever they can to protect themselves and their families, there are many more, who have been made to believe it isn't real. How do they deal with that after it is too late to prevent getting it and spreading it? How do they live with that guilt? They do the right thing and speak out to wake other people up so they can begin to heal their souls.

If you think that there are no emotional/spiritual prices being paid at the same time there are physical ones, consider this from Hartford Healthcare.

Even once physically recovered, these people may experience lingering effects due to:
A fear of dying.
Social isolation from the time spent hospitalized or in quarantine.
Anxiety at the thought of getting sick again.
Guilt over infecting or harming others.

PTSD, long associated with deployed members of the military or those who have endured extreme trauma and violence, is anticipated to be a challenging aftereffects of the lingering pandemic and even trigger a mental health crisis, according to Patricia Rehmer, president of the Behavioral Health Network and vice president of Hartford HealthCare.  

Signs that PTSD may be affecting you can include:
Overwhelming sadness, fear or anger.
Having flashbacks or nightmares.
Feeling detached from your life and loved ones.
Avoiding memories of the illness.

30-year-old dies after attending 'COVID party' thinking virus was a 'hoax'The man told nurses, "I think I made a mistake." 

“Before I contracted it I thought, ‘It’s just made up, it’s all fabricated’,” Mata told NBC News “Global Hangout” this week, adding that he figured his six-day-a-week gym habit and healthy eating regimen would spare him even if it did exist. “That’s what prevented me from getting help sooner, when it went really bad.” “The bubble I was in online made me think it didn’t add up. To think that I went down that rabbit hole, it’s embarrassing.” Tony Green

From the BBC

Man who believed virus was hoax loses wife to Covid-19

"Many people still think that the Coronavirus is a fake crisis which at one time I did too and not that I thought it wasn't a real virus going around but at one time I felt that it was blown out of proportion and it wasn't that serious. We kept on watching the news and kept on hearing about the spreading of the Coronavirus and to be honest I didn't really think nothing of it I still thought it was being blown out of proportion until about 4 and 1/2 weeks ago when I started to feel sick and once I started to feel sick I stopped working and stayed home yes I came down with the Coronavirus and a couple days later after I started to not feel good my wife started to not feel good and we stayed at home quarantined and my wife did go to the hospital to get tested and they told her yeah you probably have the coronavirus so go home and quarantine yourself well a few days went by and we both started feeling worse and worse and worse to the point where we barely had any energy left to do anything and all we want to do is sleep. So three weeks ago Sunday we decided not to play around with this anymore and I had just enough energy to drive us to the hospital Palm Beach Gardens Medical Center and we both got confirmed that we had the Coronavirus. They admitted us right away and we both went to ICU. I started feeling better within a few days but my wife got worse to the point where they sedated her and put her on the ventilator. I was never put ventilator and started feeling better feeling stronger never had terrible aches and pains just weak and exhausted. Even now I am feeling better A lot better then a few weeks ago I still have covid-19 and some pneumonia in my lungs and we've been here 3 weeks as of yesterday. As of today my wife is still sedated and on the ventilator with no signs of improving. There were a couple times were they tried to start weaning her off the ventilator but as soon as they've done that her oxygen level dropped and they had to put her back on the ventilator full time. My wife has been sick before in the past quite a few times and she always fought through to get better but now after 3 weeks I have come to accept that my wife may pass away and the peace I have about it is that I know without a shadow of a doubt that she will be going home to be with the Lord but I also do believe in miracles and I'm holding on to the chance that she may get healed but if not I am thankful for her I know we've been married for 8 years. So think about what I wrote and think about if this thing is a fake crisis. This Coronavirus affects people differently. My wife has suffered from different physical ailments which she has overcome before but she sure is struggling and the doctors have said they have had a tough time on getting her better. This thing is nothing to be messed with please listen to the authorities and heed the advice of the experts. We don't have to fear this and by heeding the advice doesn't mean that you fear it that means you're showing wisdom during this epidemic time. Looking back I should have wore a mask in the beginning but I didn't and perhaps I'm paying the price for it now but I know that if it was me that gave it to my wife I know that she forgives me and I know that God forgives me. Whether man forgives me or not that's out of my control but as long as I have the assurance that God forgives me and my wife forgives me I am good. So just think about what I said and if you have to go out please use wisdom and don't be foolish like I was so the same so the same thing won't happen to you like it happened to me and my wife."

and then came the realization, it would get worse.

Brian told BBC News that he "wished [he'd] listened from the beginning" and hoped his wife would forgive him.

"This is a real virus that affects people differently. I can't change the past. I can only live in today and make better choices for the future," Brian explained.

"She's no longer suffering, but in peace. I go through times missing her, but I know she's in a better place."

If you were among those who believed liars and did not protect yourself, your family or others in your community, you may have guilt ontop of everything else that COVID-19 did. You need to forgive yourself. Asking God for forgiveness is only part of it because if you do nothing to stop others from spreading the plague then are you doing anything to deserve being forgiven? Right now, there are far too many people who need to hear the painful truth so they have a chance to avoid going through what you did. The people in the articles above are doing what they can to save lives.

Doctors and nurses who put their lives ont the line to take care of them only ask one thing in return...that is wear a mask and stop spreading the germs that will kill people. The vaccine will come lomg after far too many more die.

Time to "come out of the dark" and forgive yourself, and those who lied to you. They were lied to by someone else they believed. Tell them the truth and what they do with it, is up to them. It is out of your control, but you can put your mind at ease knowing you did everything possible to tell the truth. 

Remember, it is your life...get in an drive it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD.

PTSD Patrol in a good direction

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

July 28, 2020

Today is the last in the part about the power of forgiveness. When we consider all that we discussed so far between our mind, bodies and spirit, this is the hardest one of all to do. It is also the most important one if we are ever going to be empowered to heal.

The Faith of the Centurion
5 When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help.
6 “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.”
7 Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”
8 The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed.
9 For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”
10 When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.
11 I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.
12 But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
13 Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment. (Matthew 8)

PTSD Patrol:Putting the brakes on hate

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

July 27, 2020

“We are one people with one family. We all live in the same house... and through books, through information, we must find a way to say to people that we must lay down the burden of hate. For hate is too heavy a burden to bear.” John Lewis

Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., near the statue of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in the Capitol Rotunda

 CQ-ROLL CALL, INC VIA GETTY IMAGES

FORBES

Congressman John Lewis was brought to the Capitol Rotunda today and it was easy to see how no matter how he was treated he refused to hate others while standing up to them because of what they did. 

Watch this about how it applies to you.#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

PTSD Patrol: Forgiveness creates a new road to heal on...together

PTSD Patrol 

Kathie Costos 

July 25, 2020

Happily Daily

When you have PTSD, you can start to understand what is going on with you but other people don't know until you explain it to them. You can always find a way to make your life easier with them by forgiving them and they'll forgive themselves too.b #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

As you can see, geese discovered they have an easier journey when they work together as a team. They lift others up, and in return, when they get tired, they are supported by the others. When it is like that in life, it is an amazing journey for you too!

So why not let them help you when you need it? Things can be so much better for you when you do and you'll be able to soar above the pain you are in faster!

PTSD Patrol: Time to plug into power of forgiving

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

July 5, 2020

The question you need to ask yourself is why you should forgive and stop letting negative emotions keep you stuck. Refusing to forgive is like only using the negative port of your battery. Time to plug into the positive power of forgiving! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

PTSD Patrol: Declaring Independence From Its Oppression

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

July 4th 2020

Reading Thomas Paine The Crisis it is easy to see that "tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered" but we know it can be.

"THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated." 

Today, July 4th, this nation celebrates the freedom that was obtained by those who risked their lives and paid the price on the battlefields across this land and all those who we willing to pay the price so that it could be retained. 

 

"We hold these truths to be self evident...." in the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence, and very true words when applied to the "pursuit" of your happiness. The Declaration of Independence was the beginning of the fight for freedom from oppression. Achieving it did not happen over night.

The dream of freedom began long before July 4th 1776 when the document was established. The war did not end until the British troops were removed in 1782. There were 213,000 in the Continental Army.

The Declaration of Independence 

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." 

Your "self-evident" truth is that you are endowed by your Creator with everything you need to live a happier life and pursue a better future.

Abraham Lincoln called The Declaration of Independence “a rebuke and a stumbling-block to tyranny and oppression.” Now you are building a future when you can be independent from PTSD controlling your life.

The Declaration of Independence 

"...Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world..."

Declare this day as the day you begin your fight to be free of the oppression of PTSD. 

"And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor."

 You cannot cure it but you can defeat it and it will remove forces that had been controlling your life! Remove this yoke and lighten the load you are taking on your journey. 

Begin this day with getting the burden off your back, and learn how to forgive. Healing is a time that does not have to try your soul!

PTSD Patrol Learning How to Use Overdrive

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 30, 2020

Yesterday you got out of the ditch with help. Today you are back on the road, but facing a steep hill toward your journey of healing. It can be a great road trip once you get over this hill.

Working so far on your mind by being evaluated and getting mental heal help was like tuning your engine. Working on your body, was like charging your battery. Now is the time to work on your spirit.

The hill you are dealing with is only hard to get over because of what you didn't really leave behind you. You are still carrying that cargo and it is too heavy. Hanging onto anger, judgement and negative emotions is allowing what happened to you, control you. Learning how to forgive is the only way to take back your power and that comes from OVERDRIVE. 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife

Love in Action 

Romans 12

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 

10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 

11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 

12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 

13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 

16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 

18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 

19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 

20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

The details of your inner vehicle

Are you worthy?

Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 21, 2019

(cross post today)

Today is Easter. The day of a life rising from the dead. A life given, so that others may live and be made worthy by faith in Jesus.

The night before, the people who heard the voice of Jesus must have been wondering why they thought He was telling the truth, when His life ended the way it did. They must have been crushed.

Yet the truth was known by a cave left empty and all He said was once again believed.

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."

Albert Einstein

He died for others, but He also lived for others. He did not just come to die and rise, but to lift us up and know, that we were loved. God knew we were here and in need of help, as much as we were in need of hope.

Jesus did what He was sent to do. Did you? So many times we think maybe we were wrong about what we were sent here to do. We appear to be failures to others, yet, no matter what others think, we rise and do it all over again.

If you are struggling between what other say you should do, and what you know you need to do, I have something that may help encourage you to stay true to what you were created for.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13 New International Version (NIV)

I made the choice to follow where I was being led. I knew it would not be easy, but I did not know it would be so damn hard.

When I was training to be a Chaplain with the IFOC, David Vorce said that Satan was busy when we run up into road blocks. I just never thought those road blocks would be laid by people who were supposed to be "friends" of mine.

While I left the IFOC, I have not left the mission that I was prepared to do. I focused on first responders and veterans. I still do. After 37 years, it is in my DNA, so there is no getting away from it.

A few years ago, someone I thought was a friend, stood up during a large gathering after one of the members had committed suicide. She made this announcement. "22 veterans a day are committing suicide and I'm gonna do something about it."

It was almost as if she just woke up one day and decided that she suddenly had the power to do what I had been doing for over 3 decades. You know, like I had done nothing. Sick to my stomach, I could not even listen to the rest of what she had to say.

What I did hear, was an impassioned plea from one of the other members. "Please stop talking about it. It hurts my heart." She was a friend of the member who took his own life.

Well that caused the woman to become enraged and she snapped back at the grieving friend.

I drove home in tears. I couldn't figure out why that "friend" had not just dismissed my work, but pretended I was not even worthy of her learning anything from me.

The next day, I called the President of Point Man, Dana Morgan, and told him what happened. My heart was being ripped out, my ego was so beaten down that I doubted all the work I had done, but the worst thing was, my soul was so crushed, I was not sure if I was supposed to keep doing it or not.

It was hard enough to fight this battle, mostly alone, but it had been one betrayal too many for me.

Dana said he would ask the other leaders of Point Man to pray that I find the answer.

The next morning I felt a little better but, still unsure, I asked my boss at work if she would have her prayer group help me find the answer.

As I was talking about my own pain, I cried. When she started to ask me questions about veterans, I stopped crying. When I explained to her how they can go from being willing to die for the sake of others, to not wanting to be here anymore, that soul crushing feeling started to lift.

By the time I got home, the weight was gone.

I called Dana and told him that I had my answer. Thinking about myself, caused me great emotional pain. Doubt caused by someone else left me believing I was wrong to even try. Doing what I had done for so many years, filled me with peace. I knew that whatever would come, would be OK, because as long as I knew what God wanted of me, I could deal with it.

"Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called." Ephesians 4:1

Dana asked me if I told my boss yet. I told him I would in the morning.

When she came in, I started to explain what happened, but she started laughing. The look of puzzlement must have been clear because she responded. "You don't get it. As soon as you started talking yesterday, I started praying."

I got my answer. No matter what comes, I know I am doing what I am supposed to do. While it would be so much easier to receive more help than I am getting, it does not stop me from doing it.

Maybe the lack of help I receive is so that I can share this extra burden with those who are going through the same type of thing.

It is really hard to see so many others beating their own chest and getting attention for a bunch or words that mean absolutely nothing.  They are all about themselves and not the cause they claim to be invested in.

When the end result is a worse situation for those they claim to want to help, it is then others figure out that they came to this "ministry" unarmed and their foolish ways were discovered.

Well, a few days after that encounter with the woman who almost made me give up, a younger veteran was struggling. He needed my help. I gave it and he started to heal.

Another veteran needed help. A wife of a veteran needed help. A wife of a firefighter needed help. More and more needed help and I was able to be there because people were praying for me and the mission I was put into position to do.

I am doing what I can with what help I have been given. Sure, I get upset knowing I could be doing so much more if I did receive help but that is not the reality I live with. 

We understand that it is hard to go without help, so we understand those seeking it from us. I know the worth of my vehicle even though others think it is a worn out antique.

We know what it is like to find the courage to ask for help, as well as, what it is like to not often find it for ourselves. We know what hardships and struggles are, what doubt feels like and above all, we know what would comfort us, what words would help us find relief.

That is the lesson I have a hard time remembering during times such as this, but I've been on this road to long now, that I can also remember what it was like when someone did show up to help me out, offer comforting words, or let me know I was there when they needed someone the most.

Know that whatever you do, you are doing if for the right reasons and the price you pay, helps you do it far better than if you had it all handed to you on a silver platter.

You Are Worthy - Hillsong Worship - YouTube

Any crown I've ever worn

I lay it down

Any praise I've ever gained

I give it all to You

For there's nothing in this world

That can compare

For You alone are worthy

You alone are worthy

You are near to all who call

Upon Your name

Ever giving, ever loving

You remain the same

For You open up Your hands

And satisfy

I give You all the glory

Give You all the glory

You are worthy oh Lord

Of all honor

You are worthy to receive

All praise

In Your presence I live

And with all I have to give

I will worship You

Honor You

Glorify Your holy name

I will worship You

Honor You

Glorify Your holy name

Songwriters: Darlene Joyce Zschech You Are Worthy lyrics © Music Services, Inc