PTSD Patrol Want A New Drug?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

September 19, 2020

Yesterday I did not post anything because I was dealing with emergency care for a sinus infection and bronchitis. Thankfully the staff at Wentworth Douglas were spot on because I am feeling better today. The meds are helping. That is why today, the featured video is Huey Lewis and The News "I Want A New Drug."

If the meds you are getting for #PTSD are not helping, talk to your doctors so they try something else to help you. Remember, that is why they are there..... Something may work for a buddy, but that does not mean it will work for you. Keep trying!

Oh

I want a new drug, one that won't make me sick

One that won't make me crash my car

Or make me feel feet, feet, feet thick

I want a new drug, one that won't hurt my head

One that won't make my mouth too dry

Or make my eyes too red

One that won't make me nervous

Wonderin' what to do

One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

When I'm alone with you

I want a new drug, one that won't spill

One that don't cost too much

Or come in a pill

I want a new drug, one that won't go away

One that won't keep me up all night

One that won't make me sleep all day

One that won't make me nervous

Wonderin' what to do

One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

I'm alone with you

I'm alone with you, baby

I want a new drug, one that does what it should

One that won't make me feel too bad

One that won't make me feel too good

I want a new drug, one with no doubt

One that won't make me talk to much

Or make my face break out

One that won't make me nervous

Wonderin' what to do

One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

I'm alone with you

I'm alone with you, yeah, yeah

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Christopher John Hayes / Huey Lewis

I Want a New Drug lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

PTSD Patrol Moving Forward

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

August 10, 2020

Today the inspiration video is this one. I was on Work Ready New Hampshire Facebook page and left a comment that because of this program I finally started my own business. It gave me the support and encouragement to try it. I will have more on this later, but sometimes you just need someone to believe in you to get you on your way!

I believe in you and how much happier you will be when you drive away from #PTSD

Work Ready New Hampshire

That is what I try to do everyday because I know how wonderful it felt when someone did it for me! It will feel wonderful for you too when you find what you need to move forward away from what PTSD is doing to you. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

PTSD Patrol getting out of pit of despair

This article on NBC News made me cry!"COVID-19 losses and uncertainty have led to a mental health crisis. Here's how to help"

Their feelings aren’t unique. The National Center for Health Statistics and Census Bureau’s Household Pulse Survey shows that in the third week of July, 30 percent of adults had symptoms of depressive disorder, compared to 6.6 percent last year; 36 percent had symptoms of an anxiety disorder, compared to 8.2 percent last year. Commonly affected groups appear to be women with children, young adults and people who are in sexual and gender minority groups.

Many are experiencing trauma from the widespread pandemic, grief over losses (be they life, job security, relationships or former ways of living), legitimate fears of getting sick and the absence of community and caregivers. In the background, all lack many of the typical outlets for coping with such stressors, including gym workouts, vacations, office talk and outings with friends — because, of course, exercise, regular sleep, healthy eating, social contact and a routine can help mitigate feeling depressed.

The worst thing about what is going on is that too many feel they have no power to do anything about it! They are wrong because we do have some power and until we start using it, the only outcome will be for it to keep getting worse.

People are getting assaulted for asking others to wear a mask. As stupid as that sounds, when you factor in massive crowds out enjoying themselves as if nothing is going on, it proves the rest of us are suffering for their pleasure.

What can you still do? What do you still have the power to do? Contact your members of the House and Senate and demand they stop using excuses for what they failed to do! Do not wait for the election to show your displeasure. They have had six months to get this under control and the long they fail us, the more we will suffer instead of recovering.

They are counting on you to keep suffering in silence. Time to #BreakTheSilence and stop suffering.

Today I could not contain my emotions, so the video today is not a happy one. I am putting up a couple of my older ones to make up for it, but remember, I am still just a human trying to do the best I can everyday, no matter how I feel.

PTSD Patrol in pit of despair

Mental health is in crisis across the country right now and it will not get better until we use the power we do still have to change it. The time for excuses is gone and we must Demand our officials act to change it. They have had long enough to get this pandemic under control. We keep suffering and should refuse to remain suffering in silence for their failures.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

This is from last year and directed toward first responders. Until June of this year, my work was focused on veterans and responders. Now it is for everyone because the need is increasing!

PTSD Patrol: Proceed With Caution

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

July 14, 2020

How many times have you been driving down a road, see a sign with "Proceed with caution" and immediately go on alert? It is human nature because you do not know what you are getting into.

If you have PTSD, get one of these signs and put it where you can see it to remind you to take the time to think before you do something you'll regret.

Proceed with caution

We have seen examples of what can happen when people are caught on video flipping out. The video goes viral and makes the person famous for the wrong reasons. Then they lose their jobs because their boss and coworkers have just witnessed a side of their character they had no clue existed before that. 

Some may think it is no ones business what someone does off the clock, but they are wrong. We get hired to do a job based on our skills and history, but the employer judges our character by what we show them. Show them a video like the viral ones, and no matter what you did in the past, no one will remember it.

With PTSD, part of it is dealing with anger and rage. You need to get control over that and learn how to proceed with caution because if you flip out, especially in public, the results can, and usually do, make it worse.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

PTSD Patrol: Trusting road signs?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

July 13, 2020

If you see 👀 a sign on the road do you assume it is telling the truth or do you ignore it? Same thing with people. Trust may be automatic at first until you discover what you believed was a lie. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

PTSD Patrol: Are your hazard lights on?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

July 8, 2020

Yesterday we talked about how you actually send off signals, like the lights on the vehicle you drive, and people see all kinds of signs regarding the mood you are in. There is one that we did not discuss and that is one of the big ones...your hazard lights. When you read about the times you should use them, keep in mind that using them, lets people know your vehicle is in trouble!

When you should use your hazard lights

Consider using your car’s hazard lights when:
👮Getting pulled over. If law enforcement signals you to pull over, turning on your hazard lights can show the officer that you acknowledge their signal and are following the request. Slow down, turn on your hazard lights, and stop your car in a safe location. 

👮Changing a tire on the side of the road. Use your hazard lights when your vehicle becomes a potential hazard for other road users. If you’re parked on the side of the road changing a tire, it’s generally okay to have your hazards on. 

👮Your car has broken down and you’re waiting for a tow. 

👮 Your car has become a temporary hazard and you’re waiting for assistance. Warn other drivers of your presence, especially if you are not able to move your car out of traffic.

👮 Driving in a funeral procession. Funeral processions are an exception to most hazard light guidelines. It’s customary for vehicles in a funeral procession to drive with their hazard lights on, even when it is otherwise prohibited by law.

You may be operating with your hazard lights flashing without knowing it. This happens when you are not in control of your reactions to others. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

PTSD Patrol: What signals are you giving out?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

July 7, 2020

If you had lights on your body, like you vehicle has, then you would automatically let people know what mood you're in.

Red lights: stop, do not approach, stay away

Yellow lights: OK with talking but proceed with caution

Regular lights: Normal conditions

High Beams: Upbeat mood

What if your forehead had lights like your dashboard does? It would let people know you needed service to be done and a mechanic. Your battery is running low. You are unbalanced. Your fuel is low or you have a full tank.

There are all kinds of signals you actually give. The trick is, noticing what signals you are giving so you can explain it to them. It will also help you understand what you are seeing in others.

Your vehicle has plenty of lights to notify others what you are doing and what you need to know as about what your vehicle needs. So do you.

Learn what signals you are already giving and let those around you understand what those signals mean. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYouLife from #PTSD

The details of your inner vehicle

Are you worthy?

Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 21, 2019

(cross post today)

Today is Easter. The day of a life rising from the dead. A life given, so that others may live and be made worthy by faith in Jesus.

The night before, the people who heard the voice of Jesus must have been wondering why they thought He was telling the truth, when His life ended the way it did. They must have been crushed.

Yet the truth was known by a cave left empty and all He said was once again believed.

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."

Albert Einstein

He died for others, but He also lived for others. He did not just come to die and rise, but to lift us up and know, that we were loved. God knew we were here and in need of help, as much as we were in need of hope.

Jesus did what He was sent to do. Did you? So many times we think maybe we were wrong about what we were sent here to do. We appear to be failures to others, yet, no matter what others think, we rise and do it all over again.

If you are struggling between what other say you should do, and what you know you need to do, I have something that may help encourage you to stay true to what you were created for.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13 New International Version (NIV)

I made the choice to follow where I was being led. I knew it would not be easy, but I did not know it would be so damn hard.

When I was training to be a Chaplain with the IFOC, David Vorce said that Satan was busy when we run up into road blocks. I just never thought those road blocks would be laid by people who were supposed to be "friends" of mine.

While I left the IFOC, I have not left the mission that I was prepared to do. I focused on first responders and veterans. I still do. After 37 years, it is in my DNA, so there is no getting away from it.

A few years ago, someone I thought was a friend, stood up during a large gathering after one of the members had committed suicide. She made this announcement. "22 veterans a day are committing suicide and I'm gonna do something about it."

It was almost as if she just woke up one day and decided that she suddenly had the power to do what I had been doing for over 3 decades. You know, like I had done nothing. Sick to my stomach, I could not even listen to the rest of what she had to say.

What I did hear, was an impassioned plea from one of the other members. "Please stop talking about it. It hurts my heart." She was a friend of the member who took his own life.

Well that caused the woman to become enraged and she snapped back at the grieving friend.

I drove home in tears. I couldn't figure out why that "friend" had not just dismissed my work, but pretended I was not even worthy of her learning anything from me.

The next day, I called the President of Point Man, Dana Morgan, and told him what happened. My heart was being ripped out, my ego was so beaten down that I doubted all the work I had done, but the worst thing was, my soul was so crushed, I was not sure if I was supposed to keep doing it or not.

It was hard enough to fight this battle, mostly alone, but it had been one betrayal too many for me.

Dana said he would ask the other leaders of Point Man to pray that I find the answer.

The next morning I felt a little better but, still unsure, I asked my boss at work if she would have her prayer group help me find the answer.

As I was talking about my own pain, I cried. When she started to ask me questions about veterans, I stopped crying. When I explained to her how they can go from being willing to die for the sake of others, to not wanting to be here anymore, that soul crushing feeling started to lift.

By the time I got home, the weight was gone.

I called Dana and told him that I had my answer. Thinking about myself, caused me great emotional pain. Doubt caused by someone else left me believing I was wrong to even try. Doing what I had done for so many years, filled me with peace. I knew that whatever would come, would be OK, because as long as I knew what God wanted of me, I could deal with it.

"Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called." Ephesians 4:1

Dana asked me if I told my boss yet. I told him I would in the morning.

When she came in, I started to explain what happened, but she started laughing. The look of puzzlement must have been clear because she responded. "You don't get it. As soon as you started talking yesterday, I started praying."

I got my answer. No matter what comes, I know I am doing what I am supposed to do. While it would be so much easier to receive more help than I am getting, it does not stop me from doing it.

Maybe the lack of help I receive is so that I can share this extra burden with those who are going through the same type of thing.

It is really hard to see so many others beating their own chest and getting attention for a bunch or words that mean absolutely nothing.  They are all about themselves and not the cause they claim to be invested in.

When the end result is a worse situation for those they claim to want to help, it is then others figure out that they came to this "ministry" unarmed and their foolish ways were discovered.

Well, a few days after that encounter with the woman who almost made me give up, a younger veteran was struggling. He needed my help. I gave it and he started to heal.

Another veteran needed help. A wife of a veteran needed help. A wife of a firefighter needed help. More and more needed help and I was able to be there because people were praying for me and the mission I was put into position to do.

I am doing what I can with what help I have been given. Sure, I get upset knowing I could be doing so much more if I did receive help but that is not the reality I live with. 

We understand that it is hard to go without help, so we understand those seeking it from us. I know the worth of my vehicle even though others think it is a worn out antique.

We know what it is like to find the courage to ask for help, as well as, what it is like to not often find it for ourselves. We know what hardships and struggles are, what doubt feels like and above all, we know what would comfort us, what words would help us find relief.

That is the lesson I have a hard time remembering during times such as this, but I've been on this road to long now, that I can also remember what it was like when someone did show up to help me out, offer comforting words, or let me know I was there when they needed someone the most.

Know that whatever you do, you are doing if for the right reasons and the price you pay, helps you do it far better than if you had it all handed to you on a silver platter.

You Are Worthy - Hillsong Worship - YouTube

Any crown I've ever worn

I lay it down

Any praise I've ever gained

I give it all to You

For there's nothing in this world

That can compare

For You alone are worthy

You alone are worthy

You are near to all who call

Upon Your name

Ever giving, ever loving

You remain the same

For You open up Your hands

And satisfy

I give You all the glory

Give You all the glory

You are worthy oh Lord

Of all honor

You are worthy to receive

All praise

In Your presence I live

And with all I have to give

I will worship You

Honor You

Glorify Your holy name

I will worship You

Honor You

Glorify Your holy name

Songwriters: Darlene Joyce Zschech You Are Worthy lyrics © Music Services, Inc