coming out of the dark into healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 12, 2021

When you are suffering it can feel like a lonely place and you are surrounded by darkness. It sucks to get up in the morning when you know there will be yet another day of the same hell you had the day before and the day before that. 

When you know that relief is coming, the loneliness lifts and the darkness fades. Most Americans know what that feels like after this last horrible year dealing with the pandemic and all that came with it. Relief is coming and it won't be so lonely because families know they will be able to see people they care about very soon. All the darkness brought on by hopelessness started to fade because what we hoped for, has begun.

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

Gloria Estefan

I listened to the President last night and just now, reassure the people they have reason to feel as if they are coming out of the dark. He knows what pain is like, what broken hearts are like and what it is like to lose hope. But above all, he knows what it feels like when the suffering is coming to an end and we begin again.

The people working in hospitals know that things are about to turn around. All they saw before this was a never ending cycle of death and ambivalence. When the new treatments coming, they know they can save lives and there will be fewer people with their lives on the line. That level of stress on them has been almost unbearable, but someone they managed to go to work everyday for the sake of others. PTSD and depression rates went up for them. A worldwide effort put together 65 studies on healthcare workers during the pandemic and found the pandemic caused depression 21.7%, anxiety at 22.1% and PTSD at 21.5%. 

They understand what it is like for you too. Sadly more and more people understand what living with PTSD is like. The blessing is, there are more people to help them find hope now than ever before.

Gloria Estefan knows what it is like too. She knows what being a survivor is and that is why the song Coming Out Of The Dark is so powerful.

'Mayhem': Gloria Estefan remembers the 1990 bus accident that broke her back (USA Today)

Multi-Grammy winner Gloria Estefan is reliving the horror of a collision that left her temporarily unable to walk and her miraculous recovery for her new talk show, "Red Table Talk: The Estefans."

Wednesday's episode of the Facebook Watch series – which Estefan hosts with her daughter, Emily, and niece, Univision host Lili Estefan – mentally transports the "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You" singer to a Pennsylvania highway in March 1990, en route to New York. Her husband, producer/musician Emilio, and their son Nayib were also on board.

Estefan, 63, was napping when an 18-wheeler rear-ended her tour bus, which she says "felt like an explosion," and threw her to the floor.

"I am looking around, and it is mayhem," she recalls. "Emilio is over me, wild-eyed, screaming, 'Are you OK?' He's covered in blood."

I use this song a lot because if people know that the worst times are coming to an end and there is reason to know that their hope was not wasted. It is the way I felt last night and today I wanted to share the power of this song with you. If you are tired of hearing it, forgive me but I'll never be tired of sharing it.

I came out of the dark many times and so can you!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Coming Out Of The Dark

Gloria Estefan

Why be afraid if I'm not alone?

Though life is never easy

The rest in unknown

And up to now for me it's been

Hands against stone

Spent each and every moment

Searching for what to believe

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

Coming out of the dark

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing with me

Starting again is part of the plan

And I'll be so much stronger

Holding your hand

Step by step, I'll make it through

I know I can

I may not make it easier

But I have felt you

Near all the way

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

(I see the light)

(I see the light)

I see the light (I see the light)

Coming out of the dark

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing with me

Ever (I stand on the rock)

I stand on the rock of your love

(Forever) ever

(And ever) and ever

Can't nobody stop me, watch me

(Forever) ever

(And ever) and ever

Stand on the rock

Of your love is all it takes

No matter what we face

Coming out of the dark

I see the light

I feel your love shining on me (shining)

(Shining) Yeah, shining on me (shining)

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing

You're sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (coming out of the dark)

I cannot be in the dark

Making it into the light, yeah

Your love's shining on me (shining)

Shining on me (I see the light)

Shining on me (I see the light)

(Shining, I see the light)

(Coming out of the dark)

I see the light

I see the light (I see the light)

(I see the light)

Shining, shining on me

(Shining, shining)

I didn't think that I could take it (shining)

But your love helped me to make it (coming out of the dark)

Coming out of the dark

I see the light now

Yes, I see the light

(Shining) (I see the light)

(Shining) (I see the light)

(Shining) (I see the light)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Gloria M. Estefan / Jon Secada / Emilio Estefan Jr.

Coming Out of the Dark lyrics © Foreign Imported Prod. And Publishing 

And the one I did for veterans.

the power you do have to make a difference

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 19, 2021

These are Godawful days right now. A pandemic of illness and anger sweeping over the country. So many people hurting and suffering, wondering how they can get through this day. The people of Texas are going through so much right now, they are wondering how to stay alive today on top of everything else. Human nature has many sitting around, getting angry and frustrated, wanting to get justice from those in charge. The thing is, no regular citizen has the power to change the causes of any of it today. We only have the power to change what we can.

I only know a tiny bit of what they are going through in Texas. I lived in Florida and we had a lot of hurricanes when I was there. I remember when Hurricane Charlie came through Central Florida. It was terrible. No power, streets destroyed and empty stores, if we were lucky enough to find one with power on. We did what we could, searching for water, food and operating gas stations. We were lucky that we had our power back in a matter of hours, and had little damage to our house. Some of our neighbors were not so lucky.

Still I remember how relieved we were to see the National Guard trucks bringing in water, supplies, helping to clean up and get power restored to other neighborhoods. We were even more grateful because we knew, they left their own homes and families to come and take care of the rest of us.

When you are going through these horrible days, you need to take care of you and your family to make it through today. Think about the power you do have to make a difference. If you can, try to help in whatever way you do have the power to do. Even making a tiny difference can seem like a miracle.

Remember other days when you didn't think you could get through them, but you did and better days came afterwards. That is why the featured video today is One Republic Better Days.

Each really sucky day ended up becoming better days because you got through the shitty ones, especially if you are dealing with PTSD. Doing something productive, and positively, can change the way today is. Use what power you do have until you can hold people accountable, because that is also in your power, but just not very useful to you right now.

Make a difference as much as you can, where you can, so you will help someone else have a better day too.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Better Days

One Republic 

Oh, I know that there'll be better days

Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way

May we never ever shed another tear for today

'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days

Wakin' up in California

But these clouds they won't go away

Everyday is like another storm, yeah

I'm just tryin' not to go insane

Yeah, and the city shinin' so bright

So many dark nights, so many dark days

But any time I feel the paranoia

I close my eyes and I pray

Oh, I know that there'll be better days

Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way

May we never ever shed another tear for today

'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days

Been wakin' up to a new year

Got the past million miles away

I'm waking up with a new fear (new fear)

But I know it'll wash away

Whatever you do, don't worry 'bout me

I'm thinkin' 'bout you, don't worry 'bout us

'Cause in the morning everything can change, yeah

And time will tell you it does

Oh, I know that there'll be better days

Oh, that sunshine 'bout to come my way

May we never ever shed another tear for today

'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days

Better days

Better days

Better days

Better days

May we never ever shed another tear for today

'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days

May we never ever shed another tear for today

'Cause oh, I know that there'll be better days

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Brent Michael Kutzle / John Nathaniel / Ryan B Tedder

Better Days lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing 

Bonus video 

You Raise Me Up

Celtic Women 

Do What You Can
Bon Jovi

If you want to live a happy life...

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 11, 2021 

There are so many things people are missing because of the pandemic. New parents are sad because they did not get to celebrate the birth of their babies the way they thought it would always be like. They thought they'd be surrounded by family and friends sharing their joy with them, but face isolation, depending on social media to connect them from a distance. The same is being done for other events, like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and yes, even funerals.

For others, who in their normal lives, they were sociable, and thrived interacting with others face to face. They looked forward to being active in the groups that fed their souls, and now they have to rely on someone deciding to do a Zoom meeting, instead of being able to hug someone.  (I'm a hugger and it sucks.)

For others, they reach out on social media, knowing with so many people listed among their "friends" they are sure to have many people reaching back to comfort them. They share, get some responses from a few, then wonder why they have so many they are sharing their lives with online, only to discover, they were not really their friends.

Against the Wind, by Bob Seger

The years rolled slowly past

And I found myself alone

Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends

I found myself further and further from my home, and I

Guess I lost my way

There were oh-so-many roads

I was living to run and running to live

Never worried about paying or even how much I owed

Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time

Breaking all of the rules that would bend

I began to find myself searching

Searching for shelter again and again 

When you realize you were surrounded by people you only thought were your friends, it hurts. You think about all the time you spent with them, and enjoyed their company because you thought they cared about you. But when you needed them to show you how much they did care, they walked away from you.

It happened more times than I can count, while it is easy to count on the few friends I do have, because I can always count on them. Those are the friends I try to think about so I can forget the ones who turned out to be nothing more than people I knew.

I got tired of trying to figure out what I did wrong when I was used, betrayed and ignored. I got tired of beating myself up for telling the truth because some of them needed hear it and they attacked me because they didn't want to hear it. It was hard, but I got over it because I got over them.

I take comfort in knowing that I did the right things for the right reasons and do not regret what I did for them. Doing the right thing has never been wrong, even though other people mistreat you for doing it. I know I can rest well at night knowing it was their problem, instead of going against my core beliefs of what was the right thing to do. And I hold my head up high.

That is why the featured video today is Argent, Hold Your Head Up. I can take what comes into my life because of the things I do with my life.

I spent almost 4 decades trying to help people, fellow survivors of trauma heal. I never figured out how to get financial support to keep doing it, even though I asked for help over and over again, but no one found it valuable enough to support, but those who gained popularity ended up getting their financial support instead of me, when they knew me personally. 

I prayed that God would send someone to help me. Many people came into my life and I trusted that was how God answered my prayers. Soon they proved that they may have been sent by God to help me, but they ended up only interested in helping themselves.

Through all of it, all the heartache and self-doubt, feeling like I failed and deserved to be treated this way for a time, the truth kept me going and I held my head up high. While some measure success by how popular you are, how much money you have or how many followers you have on social media, I measure it a different way.

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." Albert Einstein

If you have PTSD, the goal should be healing so you can live a happier life. If you live with someone with PTSD, the goal should be to help them be happier, so you can be too. The rest will come one day because you put the priority on possibilities. Then you can measure success by sharing more joys and many more years together.

I measure it by lives I've saved. To know that I made a difference to them. To know how I treated others better than they treated me. I measure it by knowing that no matter how many roadblocks are put in front of me, there are thousands of others behind me I managed to get over. You can too!

If you want to share your joy, then be joyful of what you have to share with those you can. If you want to find support for what you are lacking, then accept the support you do receive as a blessing. Measure your life by what you give and not by what you get back.

These are difficult times where lies and liars no longer have any shame in them. Family members betray others because they like the lies they hear. They will awaken to the reality that others were telling them the truth all along and some will feel ashamed. If they ask for forgiveness, then forgive them. All the harm they did to you will no longer have power over your life or a place in your soul where love lives.

Hold your head up to get through the trying times and know that better days are coming...

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Hold Your Head Up

Argent 

And if it's there

Don't let it get you down,

You can take it.

And if it hurts

Don't let them see you cry,

You can make it.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

And if they stare

Just let them burn their eyes

On you moving.

And if they shout

Don't let it change a thing

That you're doing.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

And if they stare

Just let them burn their eyes

On you moving.

And if they shout

Don't let it change a thing

That you're doing.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Bouwens 

If the past was a nightmare, time to dream on changing tomorrow

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 3, 2021

What are your dreams? Not the ones you have when you are asleep, but the dreams you have when you are awake. Do you still have any? Has PTSD robbed you of your imagination in a hopeful way, because it is too occupied with doom and gloom?

The thing is, you have the power to change all of it.

The Boston Marathon bombing is a good example of that. People lined up to cheer on runners from all over the world. That was all they were focused on. They did not know evil joined them that day. They did not see the two bombers placing the backpacks down and walking away.

(CNN)
Here is a look at the Boston Marathon terror attack. On April 15, 2013, double bombings near the finish line of the Boston Marathon killed three people and injured at least 264.

Facts

The bombs exploded 12 seconds apart near the marathon’s finish line on Boylston Street.

According to Richard DesLauriers, the special agent in charge of the FBI’s Boston office, the bombs contained BB-like pellets and nails.

In those 12 seconds, hundreds of people rushed to help the wounded not knowing if another bomb would blow up or not. The second bomb blew up, and even more people responded to even more wounded.

That is what they decided to do with the power they had after something evil happened to them. But the acts of compassion did not end there. People from around the world donated to help the survivors. 

War veterans, who lost their own limbs visited the wounded who lost limbs to encourage them that life is not over, even though they were dealing with their own inner wounds.

Boston University took a look at how this hit veterans afterwards, "Of those interviewed, 38 percent reported that they were emotionally distressed by the bombing and the subsequent lockdown of Boston and other communities. A majority of the participants said that the bombing caused them to experience flashbacks and the re-emergence of unwanted memories relating to their own past traumas."

War amputees to Boston's injured:

 

'Life's not over'

When someone survives, they have a choice to make. Do they just suffer living like a victim, or do they do something about it so that surviving doesn't have to suck for other people...and in turn, heal themselves? 

We have an example of that when a survivor was interviewed by Associated Press Post-pandemic PTSD? Lessons from a marathon bombing survivor. Bobby O'Donnell said his injury was in is head. He went on to run more marathons and wrote a book to help empower others to "dream on!"

He wrote a book, Running Wild, but because of the pandemic, he knew there would be many more struggling to heal.

AP: Yours is the story of someone who suffered PTSD and invisible wounds from the terror attack in 2013, and how you were able to overcome that. But now fast-forward to 2020, and it feels like a lot of people potentially could be suffering.
O’Donnell: Telling people to stay inside and completely disrupting their daily lives ... mental health is going to be a huge ripple effect that comes out of this. Emergency rooms are going to struggle to deal with psychiatric issues, because we’re telling people to not go to the hospital. People who normally would go out to seek help are now afraid to go into this environment. It’s an important time to be checking up on your own mental health. Just because you think that someone’s gone through something worse than you have, it doesn’t devalue the trauma or distress that you’ve had.

Do you want to settle for doom and gloom now, or do you want to dream about what you can do to make a difference because you know exactly how they feel?

You can change tomorrow for yourself and then change it for others too! Now that is a powerful to dream on!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Dream On

Aerosmith

Every time when I look in the mirror

All these lines on my face getting clearer

The past is gone

And it went by, like dusk to dawn

Isn't that the way?

Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows

Where it comes and where it goes

I know it's everybody's sin

You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life's in books, written pages

Live and learn from fools and from sages

You know it's true, oh

All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for a year

Sing for the laughter, and sing the tear

Sing with me, if it's just for today

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year

Sing for the laughter, and sing for the tear

Sing it with me, if it's just for today

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream until the dream come true

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream until your dream come true

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on, ah

Sing with me, sing for the year

Sing for the laughter and sing for the tear

Sing with me, if it's just for today

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Sing with me, sing for the year

Sing for the laughter, and sing for the tear

Sing it with me, if it's just for today

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Steven Tyler

Dream On lyrics © Music Of Stage Three 

Aerosmith - Dream On (with Southern California Children's Chorus) - Boston Marathon Bombing Tribute 

PTSD Patrol getting out of pit of despair

This article on NBC News made me cry!"COVID-19 losses and uncertainty have led to a mental health crisis. Here's how to help"

Their feelings aren’t unique. The National Center for Health Statistics and Census Bureau’s Household Pulse Survey shows that in the third week of July, 30 percent of adults had symptoms of depressive disorder, compared to 6.6 percent last year; 36 percent had symptoms of an anxiety disorder, compared to 8.2 percent last year. Commonly affected groups appear to be women with children, young adults and people who are in sexual and gender minority groups.

Many are experiencing trauma from the widespread pandemic, grief over losses (be they life, job security, relationships or former ways of living), legitimate fears of getting sick and the absence of community and caregivers. In the background, all lack many of the typical outlets for coping with such stressors, including gym workouts, vacations, office talk and outings with friends — because, of course, exercise, regular sleep, healthy eating, social contact and a routine can help mitigate feeling depressed.

The worst thing about what is going on is that too many feel they have no power to do anything about it! They are wrong because we do have some power and until we start using it, the only outcome will be for it to keep getting worse.

People are getting assaulted for asking others to wear a mask. As stupid as that sounds, when you factor in massive crowds out enjoying themselves as if nothing is going on, it proves the rest of us are suffering for their pleasure.

What can you still do? What do you still have the power to do? Contact your members of the House and Senate and demand they stop using excuses for what they failed to do! Do not wait for the election to show your displeasure. They have had six months to get this under control and the long they fail us, the more we will suffer instead of recovering.

They are counting on you to keep suffering in silence. Time to #BreakTheSilence and stop suffering.

Today I could not contain my emotions, so the video today is not a happy one. I am putting up a couple of my older ones to make up for it, but remember, I am still just a human trying to do the best I can everyday, no matter how I feel.

PTSD Patrol in pit of despair

Mental health is in crisis across the country right now and it will not get better until we use the power we do still have to change it. The time for excuses is gone and we must Demand our officials act to change it. They have had long enough to get this pandemic under control. We keep suffering and should refuse to remain suffering in silence for their failures.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

This is from last year and directed toward first responders. Until June of this year, my work was focused on veterans and responders. Now it is for everyone because the need is increasing!

Are you struggling with getting through pandemic crisis?

Advice getting through another crisis

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 8, 2020

"So now go do the best things in life

Take a bite of this world while you can

Make the most of the rest of your life"

Disturbed - Hold on to Memories

I am going to start this the way I usually end a video...with what you are empowered to do. "...go do the best things in life...make the most of the rest of your life."


Right now the world is living through global pandemic trauma. Life as they knew it ended. As of yesterday "There are at least 387,547 cases of coronavirus in the United States and at least 12,291 people have died, according to Johns Hopkins University's tally of cases." according to a CNN running update. That means at least that many have experienced the trauma of fighting for their lives. Even more have experienced the trauma of it coming into their families and the fear of it happening to those who have thus far escaped it.

While some people take a callous attitude to take advantage of the trauma, many more are going out to make sure others stay alive, even if it means they are subjecting themselves to more trauma.

Aside from hurricanes and this pandemic, I survived life altering trauma 10 times. I know what it can do to lives, but the key is, only if we allow it to gain control.

This is from ABC News

Calls to US helpline jump 891%, as White House is warned of mental health crisis

Last month the “Disaster Distress Helpline” at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) saw an 891% increase in call volume compared with March 2019, according to a spokesman for the agency, which is part of the Department of Health and Human Services.

In fact, this March – ending little more than a week ago – saw 338% more calls to the helpline than in the month before, when the deadly virus began to take hold inside the U.S. homeland, and government officials began taking more extreme measures to stop its spread.

There are 57.8 million Americans currently living with mental or substance use disorders, according to SAMHSA.

Two ways to look at the report are, it is terrible that many are in crisis, or, there are many more fighting for their lives and acknowledging they need help. Please take that as a sign it is OK to ask for help if you need it too.

But what else can we do against something we have no control over? Look at what we can control. We can control how we act and react.

We control what we do if we are healthy enough to help others.

We control if we act out of kindness and patience, or react with selfishness.

We control if we show that we are suffering too and are afraid to comfort someone else, or react with judgement unwilling to show we are not super-human.

I controlled what I did with my life the second I went from victim to survivor. So can you. We can be defined by what we do with our lives from this second onward.

One more thought is that if you have PTSD, these days are harder on you but now most Americans are sadly experiencing what you have been trying to explain to them for a long time. Use the opportunity to share it with them so that they finally understand and then, heal together.

One of my favorite groups is Disturbed. One of their songs, "Hold Onto The Memories" is a good way to look at life the way we know it now.

Disturbed - Hold on to Memories [Official Live Video] - YouTube

www.youtube.com

Lyrics

Listen, everyone

The time will come when all of us say goodbye

Feel that aching in your heart

Leaving you broken inside

But we're never really gone

As long as there's a memory in you mind

So now go do the best things in life

Take a bite of this world while you can

Make the most of the rest of your life

Make a ride of this world while you can

Take the ones you love

And hold them close because there is little time

And don't let it break your heart

I know it feels hopeless sometimes

But they're never really gone

As long as there's a memory in you mind

So now go do the best things in life

Take a bite of this world while you can

Make the most of the rest of your life

Make a ride of this world while you can

And hold on to memories

Hold on to every moment

To keep them alive

The world's greatest tragedy

Souls who are not remembered

Cannot survive

So now go do the best things in life

Bring the fight to this world while you can

Make the most of the rest of your life

Shine your light on this world while you can

And hold on to memories

Hold on to every moment

To keep them alive

The world's greatest tragedy

Souls who are not remembered

Cannot survive

And hold on to memories (Hold on)

Hold on to every moment To keep them alive (Keep them alive)

The world's greatest tragedy (Hold on)

Souls who are not remembered

Cannot survive

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dan Donegan / David Draiman / Kevin Churko / Mike Wengren

Hold On to Memories lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

Easter is a season of redemption! Many are struggling with the fact that they cannot go to church to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus. Think of it this way. We can go to church and thank Jesus for the resurrection of humanity when this is all over.

We see miracles happen when a long list of fellow citizens knowing risk their lives to help others. None of us could make it without these heroes. They leave their own families and friends so they can take care of us.

They are doing it without the equipment they need to do it as safely as possible, endless stress piled onto all the other days they have been facing traumatic situations flooding in. Yet still, they show up and do it all over again.

Sunday morning empowerment zone talk about the power of forgiveness. When you address the mental health part of PTSD, the healing begins. It gets better when you add in doing things for your body. But what about your soul? That is where PTSD lives. When you begin to heal that, you begin to see miracles in your own life!