Showing posts with label isolation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label isolation. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

"She's leaving home, after living alone, for so many years"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 24, 2021

Does your adult child believe they are living alone, even though they live with you? Sometimes the loneliest place to be, is with people you love. This is to the parents of survivors, especially young veterans. They will not say much about where they were or what they did, but they say even less about what came back with them. Their souls have a huge scar.

You may notice the changes in their actions and attitudes. You may notice they are not the same. What you don't notice is they are not just "getting over it" on their own. It is up to you to be able to understand what the changes mean and if they need help instead of time to heal from it.

If not, then they may end up feeling as if they are living alone with a house full of people around them. Sharing a dwelling is not the same as sharing lives.

There are so many causes of trauma but the key doctors look for are the two words most often spoken afterwards. "Suddenly changed" give doctors a clue as to what the person can be suffering with. PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, can be misdiagnosed as many other mental health issues, but this one is only caused by surviving traumatic events.

While news reports cause people to be emotionally invested in the stories, survivors of those same events can be hit especially hard by them. I get really emotional when I read about domestic abuse and stalking. I also get emotional reading about veterans committing suicide. It is as if the events that hit my life has happened all over again.

When the police officer's knee was on George Floyd's neck, most people got angry but for some young black men, it stuck in their minds. It caused traumatic reactions the next time they encounter police offices. When police officers read reports of other officers being shot, the next time they encounter someone with a weapon, it can cause a traumatic response that lingers.

No matter what caused PTSD in them, whenever it happens to someone else, it hits them hard and they will remember when it happened to them more stronger than during most days. If they are in therapy, they need to talk to their therapist. If they are not, then try to get them to at least open up to you.

Most of the time, people will not talk about any of this out of fear of being judged. The thing is, they fear what they do not understand. If they understood PTSD is only something survivors experience, then they would know there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Don't let them think they are living alone and cannot talk to you about what is harming them.

Today the featured video is "She's Leaving Home" by the Beatles.
Melanie Coe, the teenage runaway who inspired the Beatles' "She's Leaving Home," looks back on her surreal moment as a 'Sgt. Pepper' muse. (Read article from Rolling Stone below)
Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

She's leaving home
The Beatles;

Wednesday morning at five o'clock
As the day begins
Silently closing her bedroom door
Leaving the note that she hoped would say more
She goes down the stairs to the kitchen
Clutching her handkerchief
Quietly turning the backdoor key
Stepping outside, she is free
She, ... (we gave her most of our lives)
Is leaving (sacrified most of our lives)
Home (we gave her everything money could buy)
Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown
Picks up the letter that's lying there
Standing alone at the top of the stairs
She breaks down and cries to her husband
Daddy, our baby's gone.
Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly?
How could she do this to me?
She (we never thought of ourselves)
Is leaving (never a thought for ourselves)
Home (we struggled hard all our lives to get by)
She's leaving home, after living alone, for so many years
Friday morning, at nine o'clock
She is far away
Waiting to keep the appointment she made
Greeting a man from the Motortrade
She (what did we do that was wrong)
Is Having (we didn't know it was wrong)
Fun (fun is the one thing that money can't buy)
Something inside, that was always denied,
For so many years,
She's leaving home

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Lennon John Winston / Mccartney Paul James 


Beatles’ ‘Sgt. Pepper’ at 50: Meet the Runaway Who Inspired ‘She’s Leaving Home’
Melanie Coe looks back on her teenage days as an unlikely Lennon/McCartney muse
The Rolling Stone
By JORDAN RUNTAGH
MAY 23, 2017

The Beatles‘ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, which Rolling Stone named as the best album of all time, turns 50 on June 1st. In honor of the anniversary, and coinciding with a new deluxe reissue of Sgt. Pepper, we present a series of in-depth pieces – one for each of the album’s tracks, excluding the brief “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” reprise on Side Two – that explore the background of this revolutionary and beloved record. Today’s installment focuses on Melanie Coe, the real-life teen runaway who inspired “She’s Leaving Home.”

“A-Level Girl Dumps Car And Vanishes,” screamed a headline in the February 27th, 1967, issue of London’s Daily Mail. A pretty blonde 17-year-old named Melanie Coe stared out from the adjacent photograph, taken not long before she went missing from her family’s home in Stamford Hill, England. The report portrayed her as a “the schoolgirl who seemed to have everything,” including her own Austin 1100 car and a “wardrobe full of clothes,” both of which were left behind. “I cannot imagine why she should run away,” her father told reporters. “She has everything here … even her fur coat.”
Unable to express herself at home, Coe made a desperate lunge at freedom. One afternoon, while both her parents were out, she left a note and slipped out the door. Decades later, Coe remains stunned by the prescience of the Beatles’ lyrics. “The most interesting thing in the song is what the father said, ‘We gave her everything, everything money could buy.’ And in the newspaper article, my father actually says almost those words. He doesn’t understand why I would have left home when they bought me or gave me everything. Which is true; they had bought me a car and they always bought me expensive clothes and things like that. But as we know, that doesn’t mean that you get on well with your parents, or even love them, just because they buy you material things.”
read the rest here

Thursday, February 11, 2021

If you want to live a happy life...

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 11, 2021 

There are so many things people are missing because of the pandemic. New parents are sad because they did not get to celebrate the birth of their babies the way they thought it would always be like. They thought they'd be surrounded by family and friends sharing their joy with them, but face isolation, depending on social media to connect them from a distance. The same is being done for other events, like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and yes, even funerals.

For others, who in their normal lives, they were sociable, and thrived interacting with others face to face. They looked forward to being active in the groups that fed their souls, and now they have to rely on someone deciding to do a Zoom meeting, instead of being able to hug someone.  (I'm a hugger and it sucks.)

For others, they reach out on social media, knowing with so many people listed among their "friends" they are sure to have many people reaching back to comfort them. They share, get some responses from a few, then wonder why they have so many they are sharing their lives with online, only to discover, they were not really their friends.


The years rolled slowly past
And I found myself alone
Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends
I found myself further and further from my home, and I
Guess I lost my way
There were oh-so-many roads
I was living to run and running to live
Never worried about paying or even how much I owed
Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time
Breaking all of the rules that would bend
I began to find myself searching
Searching for shelter again and again 

When you realize you were surrounded by people you only thought were your friends, it hurts. You think about all the time you spent with them, and enjoyed their company because you thought they cared about you. But when you needed them to show you how much they did care, they walked away from you.

It happened more times than I can count, while it is easy to count on the few friends I do have, because I can always count on them. Those are the friends I try to think about so I can forget the ones who turned out to be nothing more than people I knew.

I got tired of trying to figure out what I did wrong when I was used, betrayed and ignored. I got tired of beating myself up for telling the truth because some of them needed hear it and they attacked me because they didn't want to hear it. It was hard, but I got over it because I got over them.

I take comfort in knowing that I did the right things for the right reasons and do not regret what I did for them. Doing the right thing has never been wrong, even though other people mistreat you for doing it. I know I can rest well at night knowing it was their problem, instead of going against my core beliefs of what was the right thing to do. And I hold my head up high.

That is why the featured video today is Argent, Hold Your Head Up. I can take what comes into my life because of the things I do with my life.

I spent almost 4 decades trying to help people, fellow survivors of trauma heal. I never figured out how to get financial support to keep doing it, even though I asked for help over and over again, but no one found it valuable enough to support, but those who gained popularity ended up getting their financial support instead of me, when they knew me personally. 

I prayed that God would send someone to help me. Many people came into my life and I trusted that was how God answered my prayers. Soon they proved that they may have been sent by God to help me, but they ended up only interested in helping themselves.

Through all of it, all the heartache and self-doubt, feeling like I failed and deserved to be treated this way for a time, the truth kept me going and I held my head up high. While some measure success by how popular you are, how much money you have or how many followers you have on social media, I measure it a different way.

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." Albert Einstein
If you have PTSD, the goal should be healing so you can live a happier life. If you live with someone with PTSD, the goal should be to help them be happier, so you can be too. The rest will come one day because you put the priority on possibilities. Then you can measure success by sharing more joys and many more years together.

I measure it by lives I've saved. To know that I made a difference to them. To know how I treated others better than they treated me. I measure it by knowing that no matter how many roadblocks are put in front of me, there are thousands of others behind me I managed to get over. You can too!

If you want to share your joy, then be joyful of what you have to share with those you can. If you want to find support for what you are lacking, then accept the support you do receive as a blessing. Measure your life by what you give and not by what you get back.

These are difficult times where lies and liars no longer have any shame in them. Family members betray others because they like the lies they hear. They will awaken to the reality that others were telling them the truth all along and some will feel ashamed. If they ask for forgiveness, then forgive them. All the harm they did to you will no longer have power over your life or a place in your soul where love lives.

Hold your head up to get through the trying times and know that better days are coming...

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Hold Your Head Up
Argent 

And if it's there
Don't let it get you down,
You can take it.
And if it hurts
Don't let them see you cry,
You can make it.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
And if they stare
Just let them burn their eyes
On you moving.
And if they shout
Don't let it change a thing
That you're doing.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high.
And if they stare
Just let them burn their eyes
On you moving.
And if they shout
Don't let it change a thing
That you're doing.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Bouwens 

Monday, April 20, 2020

Martha Gellhorn,“The Face of War” an inspirational story for all of us!

More than a footnote

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 20, 2020

My buddy Gunny likes to try to top me on discovering things I did not know. Well, he succeeded this morning. He told me about Martha Gellhorn. Funny thing is, he stumbled on her looking for something else.

As I listened to him tell me a little bit about her, I thought it would be a very inspirational story to share, especially while most of the country is under shelter at home restrictions. We all need something to inspire us, and yes, that includes me too.

It is very hard to even attempt to find something inspirational to share, when you do not even want to get out of PJs. Lately either I have been on Facebook sharing videos on cats, dogs or other animals from my sweet friends...or really sick jokes I am usually embarrassed by how hard I am laughing.

Anyway, before I get too carried away with that, back to Martha. She was married to Ernest Hemingway. Noteworthy as it is, they met while she was a war correspondent during the Spanish Civil War. She was on the beach on D-Day after being a stowaway and got her hands on a nurses uniform. The list of accomplishments in her life goes on and on, but the thing that got me was, for all she accomplished, she still felt like a footnote in Hemingway's life.

That is exactly how my buddy Gunny found her story...as a footnote.


Martha Gellhorn, Daring Writer, Dies at 89
Obituary
New York Times
By Rick Lyman
Feb. 17, 1998
Martha Ellis Gellhorn, who as one of the first female war correspondents covered a dozen major conflicts in a writing career spanning more than six decades, died on Sunday at her home in London. She was 89.

Ms. Gellhorn was a cocky, raspy-voiced maverick who saw herself as a champion of ordinary people trapped in conflicts created by the rich and powerful. That she was known to many largely because of her marriage to Ernest Hemingway, from 1940 to 1945, caused her unending irritation, especially when critics tried to find parallels between her lean writing style and that of her more celebrated husband.

''Why should I be a footnote to somebody else's life?'' she bitterly asked in an interview, pointing out that she had written two novels before meeting Hemingway and continued writing for almost a half-century after leaving him.


As a journalist, Ms. Gellhorn had no use for the notion of objectivity. The chief point of going to cover anything, she felt, was so you could tell what you saw, contradict the lies and let the bad guys have it.
"Nothing is better for self-esteem than survival."Martha Gellhorn
Right now, it is hard to get through all of this but that quote is something we should hang onto. "Nothing is better for self-esteem than survival." No matter how bad it is right now, when you think about all the things this woman went through, she survived all of it and lived to a good old age.

If it sucks for you right now...like it does for most of us, try to think back about other times when it sucked. When you didn't know how you would get passed it and then suddenly you did. We will get passed this too and there will be joy again. We will see our family and friends again. We'll be able to hug our kids and grandkids. We will get through this because right now there are angels moving all around us to make this world a better place in whatever way they can.

Enjoy the following about Martha and trust me, you jaw will go back into place when you are done with this.


A Memorial for the Remarkable Martha Gellhorn
The New Yorker
By Sam Knight
September 18, 2019
The writer Martha Gellhorn, who reported on the Spanish Civil War for The New Yorker, and from the beaches of D Day in a nurse’s uniform. Photograph from AP / Shutterstock
*******
Gellhorn was born in St. Louis, in 1908. She moved to Paris when she was twenty-one, to write novels, and found her journalist’s voice during the Depression, while reporting on the lives of textile workers for the Federal Emergency Relief Association. She became friends with Eleanor Roosevelt, who invited her to live at the White House for a while.
******* 
Her first war was the Spanish Civil War, which she went to cover in 1937. “I was always afraid,” she wrote, “that I would forget the exact sound, smell, words, gestures which were special to this moment and this place.” Gellhorn’s writing was percussive and intimate. She was an exceptional witness. In an early piece, for The New Yorker, a convoy of tanks in the dark outside Madrid looked “as if six boats, with only their harbor lights showing, were tied together, riding a gentle sea.” She married Ernest Hemingway, in 1940; they divorced five years later.
******* 
On D Day, Gellhorn stowed away on a hospital ship and reported from the beaches in a nurse’s uniform. Her stories of war were populated by anonymous stretcher bearers, exhausted truck drivers, German prisoners of war, Vietnamese mothers, female prisoners in El Salvador. “I always liked Tolstoi’s crusty remark that ‘governments are a collection of men who do violence to the rest of us,’ ” Gellhorn wrote in the 1986 introduction to “The Face of War,” a collection of her reporting. “But now I think the old Russian was a prophet.”
 ******* 
Twenty years after her death, Gellhorn’s young chaps remain protective of her achievements. Since 1999, the Martha Gellhorn Prize for Journalism has been awarded for work that exposes what Gellhorn called “official drivel.”

Monday, March 23, 2020

PTSD Patrol starting story time for isolated veterans

update and confession on the other delay



update project delay due to camera issues.....


Story time coming to PTSD Patrol


PTSD Patrol
Cross Posted on Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
March 23, 2020

Four years ago, I wrote Residual War. It was the first fiction book I wrote as a way to tell some stories that were factual mixed with stuff my mind came up with.


Residual War: Something Worth Living For (Volume 1) Paperback – October 2, 2016
Heroes do not think. They react to someone in danger. The Army was Amanda Leverage's life and she was willing to die to save the two lives she ended up blaming for spreading misery and suffering. She never needed to think of why she was willing to die but needed help finding something worth living for. She found it within a group of outcast heroes with their own history of selfless acts being punished for what they did wrong but protected for what they did right. PTSD, survivors guilt, homeless veterans, dishonorable discharges, flashbacks, nightmares and yes, even suicides were part of their lives but so was redemption.
Since I was supposed to be starting an Out Post for female veterans, here in New Hampshire just before the COVID-19 virus hit, it has been very depressing for me. I was offered room at the local American Legion to meet, but it is too dangerous for everyone now.

Experts say that the worst thing a veteran with PTSD can do, is to isolate, but now it is more dangerous for you to be out, and even worse to be in crowds. I needed to think outside the box on this to give you some comfort and fill up some of your time. I'll be reading this book on video, with a bit of a twist to it. I am setting a timer of 3 minutes. Whenever it goes off, whatever word I am on, that will be the end of the video.

We will then play a game as to what that final word means to you. If the word is "and" reply back withy something like "me and" or "and then" or whatever you think about. Should get some interesting replies on that.

It will pick up on the next word in the next video. You can cheat since Amazon has it for free on Kindle and apparently, for whatever reason, you can also read it on their preview page for free.

I am also opening up my YouTube and Facebook pages so you can share your thoughts and to answer questions from 12:00 pm eastern to 1:00 when the first video goes up this week.You can always email me at woundedimes@aol.com too.

Check back tomorrow for the official announcement on PTSD Patrol when the first video will go up!

Please share this since word of mouth has been the only way this site was able to be viewed over 4 million times!

guide to take back our life

June 26, 2021 The new site for PTSD Patrol  is up and running. New blog posts will begin there on June 27, 2021. This site will remain up.

PTSD Patrol

PTSD Patrol
It is your life, get in and drive it