Giving yourself a gift this year?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

December 25, 2020

Merry Christmas! While it seems there isn't much to be merry about this year, there is if you look for it.

Maybe you didn't get what you wanted, or you were not able to get what someone else wanted. Maybe you have so many worries that feeling as if you are supposed to be celebrating, seems like torture. How do you celebrate Christmas when it feels like just when you thought this year couldn't get any worse....it did?

HOPE! That is what Christmas is supposed to be all about. Listen to the Christmas songs we all grew up with. (Not the funny ones I've been putting up the last few days.) Did you notice that most of them are about hope?

Between the Birth in the manger and the crucifixion on the Cross, Jesus lived a life of awesomeness! We read all about His miracles, but we tend to forget how much He suffered.

He knew what it was like to be hungry.

He knew what it was like to be lonely.

He knew what it was like to feel abandoned.

He knew what it was like to be betrayed.

He knew what it was like to grieve so much He wept.

He knew what it was like to do the right things for the right reasons and be hated for them.

He knew what it was like to be called a liar.

Yet with even more evidence of His suffering, He lived His life serving others, preaching of God's love, performing miracles, giving hope to those who had forgotten what hope in their hearts felt like, and proving to them they were loved!

One of the greatest gifts He gave was teaching them the importance of forgiving.  It was not for the sake of those who hurt Him, or those who hurt you, but more about giving yourself a gift.

Jesus didn't let what others did to Him, stop Him from being true to what He knew was right. He didn't hate those He was willing to die for, even after they betrayed them. He asked His Father to forgive them, because they had no idea what they were doing.

If we hang onto those who hurt us, the wrong done to us, then we rob ourselves of all the good that could replace what is harmful to us. Forgive others and take away the power they retain in your heart. They do don't deserved to remain there. 

Understand that if you are doing the right thing, then it is their problem, not yours. If you did the wrong thing to them, apologize to them. If they accept it, then all is well. If they do not, then it is again their problem. 

If you are having a hard time forgiving, then pray for the strength to do it, because Jesus knows what it is like to be you!

but I don't hate Christmas

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 24, 2020

This is going to sound like a strange thing for a Chaplain to say, but I don't hate Christmas. After the videos I put up yesterday and the ones from today, I felt as if I should make that very clear.

This has been an awful year for most people and thinking about how we want to spend Christmas, but not being able to, can be really depressing, so I want to lift the mood a bit.

Last year we moved back to New England. We were able to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and friends after 15 years living in Florida, spending it alone. It sucked! We missed them because we love them. It is because we all love one another, we are staying away this year. 

Strange things happened this year that were not good but next year, strange things can happen that are good ones too.

Finding these videos lifted my spirit, especially the ones that I couldn't share that were too adult for most people (if you get my drift) and I hope they do the same for you.

 

 and in dishonor of COVID.....

In You I find my worth

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 18 2020

There are so many things that get left off the list of things to think about during Christmas. Something always gets left off the list. Wrapping gifts, but forgot to buy tags. Wrote out the Christmas cards, but forgot to buy stamps. Buy toys for the kids but since most of them are electronic, they do no good unless you remembered to buy batteries. 

You may plan the meal out perfectly but if you left something off the grocery list, the chances are, you'll have to order take out. 

Things that started out with good intentions, can end up causing problems. So many things can happen to "ruin" Christmas in normal years, but this year is not a "normal" one for anyone.

The question is, how can not buying something ruin a day to honor a gift that was given in love and free to all who wanted it?

This is supposed to be about honoring the gift from God when He gave the world His Son. The Son Who came to tell the people they were loved and worthy of the Life brought to them.

Oh sure, Christ's life was sent to be sacrificed for all of us, but the life He lived between that day in Bethlehem and the day in Golgotha, He gave the gifts of love, compassion, mercy, forgiveness and hope. He was the Son of God, but even He asked for help to fulfill His mission. He was homeless as He traveled from town to town giving the people the Good News and healing the sick. 

From the Bible we know there is nothing that He did not encounter the rest of us live with, including being betrayed, abandoned and abused. He knew what it was like to go hungry too. Christ also knew what it was like to not have everything needed to celebrate a wedding when they ran out of wine, so His first public miracle was turning water into wine. He also knew what it was like to cry.

So why is it that when we run out of faith, and gifts given to us, we never seem appreciate them because we failed to plan on needing them?

Life is hard enough but we make it harder when something that was given to us is put into a a box that is taken out a couple of times a year but collects dust the rest of it. It is a living gift that needs to be fed but we end up letting it go hungry, then wonder why it died.

Time to put this gift on your list so that you can heal your soul and ease your heart. The greatest gifts are not the ones you buy, but the ones you create and appreciate.

What you need to heal PTSD, is there. What you need to be happier, is there. What you need to be a gift to those you love is there. All you have to do is open it up and be open to what you can gain by the greatest Gift the world has ever known.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

You Say

Song by Lauren Daigle

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough

Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up

Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?

Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know, ooh oh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing

You say I am strong when I think I am weak

And You say I am held when I am falling short

And when I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours

And I believe (I), oh, I believe (I)

What You say of me (I)

I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me

In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, ooh oh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing

You say I am strong when I think I am weak

And You say I am held when I am falling short

When I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours

And I believe (I), oh, I believe (I)

What You say of me (I)

Oh, I believe

Taking all I have and now I'm layin' it at Your feet

You'll have every failure God, You'll have every victory, ooh oh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing

You say I am strong when I think I am weak

You say I am held when I am falling short

When I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours

And I believe (I), oh, I believe (I)

What You say of me (I)

I believe

Oh, I believe (I), yes, I believe (I)

What You say of me (I)

I believe (oh)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Lauren Daigle / Paul Brendon Mabury

You Say lyrics © Essential Music Publishing 

Grieving Christmas

UPDATE

Dr. Saumya Dave was just on MSNBC talking about this and offering advice on how to get through this holiday. The first thing is to honor what you are feeling....

Here is a good video from Dr. Dave Campbell on mental health during COVID-19

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 14, 2020

Christmas is supposed to be a happy time, when we're all getting gifts, writing cards and planning parties. That is what it is supposed to be like but for many people, it is a sad time. When you've lost people to send  cards to, have no money to buy gifts because you don't have enough money to simply survive, and there is a pandemic keeping people apart, it seems worse than normal days.

Right now there are over 300,000 lives lost because of COVID-19, and many more will follow. Over 16 million people have been hit by this killer, and many of them will have the illnesses linger for years. There are thousands and thousands in the hospitals fighting for their lives, and their families cannot see them.

Losing people in your life makes it worse. After my Dad died, at the age of 58, it was hard. It was hard when one of my brothers died at 43. It was hard when my Mom passed away at 85. When my oldest brother died, it was the hardest loss for me. I stopped sending Christmas cards. I kept thinking in time, this time of year I used to love, would once again be something I felt good about. I am still waiting for that year.

The thing is, people like us need to be comforted too. That is why today, I picked a couple of videos about loss. If you have PTSD, it could have come with loss too. But you are not alone. 

The best advice I can give is, don't put needless pressure on yourself. Do not try to act happy when you need some space. Try to push any negative memories out of your head and take comfort with the good ones you have. Above all, take care of yourself and do what you can honor your feelings of loss. Include the people who are still in your life in doing something that you need as a gift from them.

Go to the cemetery. Make cards for those you lost. Watch a movie that was their favorite. Paint pictures of them, or collect pictures of things that mattered to them and make a collage. Pick something that will help you remember what this time of year is supposed to be all about.....a season of love.

The Sweetest Gift

Song by The Piano Guys

I'm not gonna lie

Christmas really hurts this time

Cause you're not here to celebrate with me

Tears fill my eyes

The memories flood my mind

As I place your ornament upon our tree

Although this year I have a broken heart

It gives me hope and joy as I remember where you are

You're with the Son of God

You're with the Prince of Peace

You're with the one who's celebrating

And that thought amazes me

Sometimes I still break down

Grieving that we're apart

But the sweetest gift is knowing where you are

You're with the Son of God

Got your picture in the frame

And a stocking with your name

Oh God knows it's been hard letting go

And I can't bring you back but I'll see you again

And all that thought is healing to my soul

I'll miss making angels with you in the snow

I guess instead you will be singing with them all around God's throne

You're with the Son of God

You're with the Prince of Peace

You're with the one who's celebrating

And that thought amazes me

Sometimes I still break down

Grieving that we're apart

But the sweetest gift is knowing where you are

Cause you're with the Son of God

And I know the Christmas season was your favorite time of year

You loved to help us decorate our tree

But now that you're with Jesus

Can't imagine how you feel

'Cause he's the one who bleed and died

Upon the tree for you and me

You're with the Son of God

You're with the Prince of Peace

You're with the one who's celebrating

And that thought amazes me

Sometimes I still break down

Grieving that we're apart

But the sweetest gift is knowing where you are

Yes, the sweetest gift is knowing where you are

Yes, the sweetest gift is knowing you're in his arms

You're with the Son of God

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Craig Aven 

Phil Collins - Since I Lost You 

It seems in a moment your whole world can shatter

Like morning dreams they just disappear

Like dust in your hand falling to the floor

Oh, how can life ever be the same

'Cos my heart is broken in pieces

Yes, my heart is broken in pieces

Since you've been gone

It's all too easy to take so much for granted

But it's so hard to find the words to say

Like a castle in the sand the water takes away

But how can life ever be the same

'Cos my heart is broken in pieces

Yes, my heart is broken in pieces

Since I've lost you

Oh, now you'll never see

Oh, you'll never know

All the things I planned for you

Things for you and me, oh

I held your hand so tightly

That I couldn't let it go

Now how can life ever be the same

'Cos my heart is broken in pieces

Yes, my heart is broken in pieces

Since I've lost you

My heart girl, is broken in pieces

Oh, my heart is broken in pieces

Since you've been gone

My heart, I know, broken in pieces

Yes, my heart is broken in pieces

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Anthony Banks / Phil Collins / Michael Rutherford

Longfellow grieve too!

and the soul felt its worth

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 14, 2020

Wonder what it is like when you begin to heal what PTSD has harmed?

"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices" 

When does this begin?

"...and the soul felt its worth"

Whenever I have to say what my favorite Christmas song is, it is O Holy Night, because I can listen to it all year round. We just celebrate the Birth of Christ on December 25 but the date He was actually born was not in the Bible. Scholars point to the fact about where He was born and say it was in the Spring, which would make a lot of sense. After all, we know that the Spring is when the world renews life.

"For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn" 

And then we see a new and glorious morning, when we are actually happy we have another day ahead of us, instead of dreading it.

But how do you get to the point where your soul feels its worth? When you've done and said horrible things, had terrible thoughts, it is hard to think about that day, How do get right with God? By faith and knowing that price was paid for long before you were even born.

To me it doesn't really matter when Christ was born. I know He was and why He was born. I know how He lived, what He taught, how He died and why He died, just as I know He came back to prove that He was who He said He was....the Son Of God.

Believing that, lets us know that our souls were worth all of what He went through to save us!

When you have PTSD, you were saved. Saved by people who came to help you, because you were worth it. Saved by people who came to help you afterwards, because you were worth it. And you have everything you need to heal already inside of you, especially if you got hit by PTSD because you risked your life for someone else.

There is nothing you cannot be forgiven for but the hardest one to get forgiveness from is yourself. Once you do that, then you believe you are worth being happy about being healed.

You live a different life. More compassionate, understanding, kinder, more hopeful and have more patience for others. You love more deeply.

"O hear the angels' voices"

Because He appeared so your soul could feel its worth!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining

It is the night of our dear Savior's birth

Long lay the world, in sin and error pining

'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees

O hear the angels' voices

O night divine

O night when Christ was born

O night divine

O night

O night divine

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees

O hear the angels' voices

O night divine

O night when Christ was born

O night divine

O night divine (O night divine)

Ooh, yes it was (O night divine)

Yeah, that is that night of our dear Savior's birth

(O night divine) oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah

(O night divine) it was a holy, holy, holy, oh, oh, oh

(O night divine) yes, it was

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Traditional

O Holy Night lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing, Spirit Music Group, Royalty Network 

The pains of Christmas?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 2, 2020

Well, it is the Christmas season again. Most people want the Norman Rockwell kind of Christmas. They are out buying gifts, decorations and mailing out Christmas cards. Some do it because they actually enjoy it but others think they have to.

This year, things are not 'normal" as more people are struggling to just feed their families, keep a roof over their heads and survive during a pandemic that was allowed to get totally out of control. Knowing things could have been different, makes the suffering worse.

As hard as this year is, this is the worst season if you have PTSD. You're already depressed and lonely! You didn't need any of the extra burdens on your shoulders.

You may be asking if there is anything you can do about it and yes you can! Look at what this holiday is supposed to be all about. It is the season of love and miracles. You can actually give yourself a gift this year, that will end up being one for those you love all year around....healing!

What better way of showing how much they mean to you than to be the best person you can be? Then stop doing things because you think you have to, buying gifts you cannot afford...and all the other traditional crap that you really don't want to do. Do what will really come from your heart and live a better life!

Remember, it is your your life...get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife

The Twelve Pains of Christmas

Bob Rivers

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Five months of bills

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills

"I hate those Christmas cards!"

Hangovers

Rigging up these lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Salvation Army

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills

Sending Christmas cards

"Aw geez"

"I'm trying to rig up these lights!"

And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

"I want ant farmer for Christmas"

"Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?"

Five months of bills

"Ah, mailing out these cards!"

"Edith, get me a beer, huh!"

"What, we have no extension chord?!?"

And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Finding parking spaces

"Daddy, I want some candy!"

"Donations!"

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills

"Writing up those Christmas cards"

Hangovers

"Now why the hell are they blinking?"

And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Batteries not included

No parking spaces

"Buy me something!"

"Get a job ya bum!"

Facing the inlaws

Five months of bills

"Yo ho, sending Christmas cards"

"Ah geez, look at this!"

"One light goes out, they all go out!"

And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Stale TV specials

Batteries not included

No parking spaces

"I gotta go to the bathroom"

Charities

"She's a witch, I hate her!"

Five months of bills

"Oh, I don't even know half these people!"

"Who's got the toilet paper?"

"Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!"

And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Singing Christmas Carols

Stale TV specials

Batteries not included

No parking

"Waaah!"

Charities

Gotta make 'em dinner

Five months of bills

"I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it!"

"Shut up, you!"

"Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!"

And finding a Christmas tree

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bob Rivers / Brian Silva / Brian Anthony Silva / Dennis J Amero

The Twelve Pains of Christmas lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

The Christmas Delivery

Christmas Delivery

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 22, 2018

This time of year it seems as if everyone is either doing the holiday or the Holy Day. Big difference when you think about it. The holiday is tied to buying stuff, eating stuff and having fun. The Holy Day is remembering why the day came to be in the first place.

The Christmas Delivery did not come on Christmas day but it is the day we celebrate the delivery arriving into the world.

The Christmas Delivery did not come on a jet, or in a grand way at all. This Delivery came on the back of a donkey, with Mary and Joseph. Oh, sure you know the rest of the story and the gifts that the Wisemen brought. But did you ever think of the rest of the story?

The birth of Jesus was not meant to be anything other than what it was. He came into this world to deliver a message, and then, deliver His life as payment for what sins He never committed, because we managed to do all of them.

There are so many other things to be said about what Jesus was, including, a homeless person depending on the kindness of strangers. But what He inspired, was clear even in war.

Radio-telephone operator Stephen Lovejoy was wounded in the open. Chaplain Capodanno ran through the withering fire, grabbed Lovejoy by the strap of his radio and dragged him to a hastily established perimeter near the top of the hill.

The chaplain immediately began attending to the dead and the dying, administering the Last Rites. Harton felt someone touch him. Father Capodanno spoke to him in a soft voice: “Stay calm, Marine, someone will be here to help. God is with us all this day.”

These Medal of Honor recipients were men of God

Vietnam Magazine
By: Ray Pezzoli Jr.
December 21, 2018

Vincent Capodanno leads field prayer services, Sept. 11, 1966 , during "Operation Fresno, for A Company, 1st Battalion, 7th Marines (Reinforced), in Quang Ngai Province. (Marine Corps Archives & Special Collections)

Chaplains don’t usually come to mind when the words “combat soldier” are mentioned.

Yet 16 American chaplains lost their lives in the line of duty during the Vietnam War. Two of them, both Catholic priests, Navy Lt. Vincent Robert Capodanno and Army Maj. Charles Joseph Watters, posthumously received the Medal of Honor for their heroism and valor on the battlefield.

Father Capodanno, a man many Marines have called a saint, is now in fact a candidate for canonization. Capodanno was known to the troops as the “Grunt Padre.”

Marine veteran Ray Harton remembers meeting him in a base mess tent: “He was just like one of the Marines… . His voice was what set him off from the rest, soft-spoken yet gruff enough to get your attention. He prayed with us and let us know he was there.”

Retired Marine Col. Gerald H. Turley described Capodanno as “a humble person, obviously at peace with himself in a place where war was going on.”

read more here

For Christmas my wish for you is to discover the miracle that is inside of you, because while everyone else can be hit by PTSD from just one event, so could you as a human, but unlike the rest of us, you made it your mission in your life to do whatever it took to try to save others.

Your life is a gift that you were willing to sacrifice and it is time for you to see that gift is still there, under the pain you are carrying because of what you were willing to do for the sake of everyone else.