PTSD Patrol: There is a fog that overcomes many veterans

Spark out of the darkness

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 16, 2018

Yesterday I attended a Wreath Laying ceremony at All Faiths Memorial Park. A large crowd gathered together on a rainy morning to remember veterans.

They did not know most of veterans, but they took their wreath, read the names their so they
would be remembered.

They were not all famous like Robert Miller, who was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor for sacrificing his life to save others in Afghanistan. Some died many years after serving, yet each one mattered.

There is a fog that overcomes many veterans. When life back home gets hard, you may think that it is as hard as it can be. The fog prevents you from thinking about how hard it actually was to be in combat. This is not as bad as that, even though you are fighting a battle with the enemy of PTSD.

Back then, you had brothers and sisters fighting arm and arm with you. Now should not be different from back then. No battle is ever won alone in war. This battle can be won with help again from those who understand where you're been.

This is your life. You drive it. Isn't it time to change what is driving you? Do not let what you lost keep you in a fog, and then you can see what is waiting for you to find down the road.

Here is the video from the service.

The road to heal is real

Finding hope to take the trip

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 9, 2018


No matter how many different ways you can discover how to get to where you want to be, you will not look for them, unless you have hope that place exists. The road to heal is real! #CombatPTSD and #TakeBackYourLife

When I was going on a road trip, first I had to have the will to go, then get directions on how to get there from where I was. 

Back then, we went to the gas stations to get a road map. Not easy to read and really too large to hold it while sitting in a vehicle. Trying to refold it was nearly impossible!

AAA came out with TripTik planners. We'd go, tell them where we wanted get to, and they would plan out the entire trip. We'd flip the pages until we arrived. To get back home, we'd just flip the pages backwards.

Now we have GPS directions in our cars and on our cell phones. Makes getting where we want to go easier to find.

Where do you want to go? Sometimes find out how to get someplace is not your biggest problem. Sometimes, having the desire even think about changing where you are is the hardest thing to find.

When I was new on the road, it did not make much sense to look both ways before taking a right turn, because I assumed no one would be coming the other way.

That is, until I almost hit someone trying to cross in front of me. Then I understood there could always be something I am not seeing, because I did not look for it.


It is the same way with answers. First you need hope there is an answer to find for whatever you want to know, or change. If there is no hope, you will not look.

Hope is what gets us moving each morning. It causes us to open our eyes, but it is the desire to seek something better, that begins the search for what we hope for.

If you know there is a better road to take, then you will look for it. If you know that other people have been there, and can show you the way, you are not traveling alone.

When you are packing a lot of pain from PTSD, it can be disheartening to be reminded of all the other people who lost the battle. They lost because no one showed them the way to get on the right road, or even inspire them to seek it.

But if you think you are stuck where you are, here is a reminder that you were not chosen to be frozen when you survived the cause of PTSD. You defeated it and lived. 

#TakeBackYourLife from what was behind you, so you can move forward and heal.

PTSD Patrol: Ending Heat, and Friction

Avoiding Engine Friction

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 2, 2018

When you neglect all the things that go into making your vehicle run properly, you get engine friction.

techflourish.com

Heat and Friction: Primary Enemies of Car Engines
Engines, Heat, and Friction
“Friction, according to its encyclopedia description, is the force that opposes the relative motion or tendency of such motion of two surfaces in contact. When it comes to engines and automobiles, the term holds a deeper relevance to car performance.“

Heat and friction results from the rubbing of the many parts of an internal combustion engine. (your mind)

A modern internal combustion engine is comprised of dozens of moving parts. Without proper oiling, these parts run against each other with tremendous speed, creating friction which then leads to heat. (anger) This heat can wear the mechanical parts of an engine and lead to bad performance under the hood.

Worn parts due to friction cause havoc with gas mileage and emissions since the engine is pushed to work harder. Wear on the engine’s vehicle is a primary known cause of less efficient burning of fuel.

When the engine that drives everything in you is neglected, you get more friction in your life too.

If you understand the basic fact of PTSD, it takes some friction away. That is the fact that PTSD hit you and happened because you survived what the event tried to do to you. So why let it win now?

Friction happens when you think it is your fault, or you were too weak to "get over it" but PTSD hits harder when you have a strong emotional core.  Just like when you feel good stuff really strongly, you feel bad stuff more. So why think there is anything wrong with you now that sadness hit if you do not feel wrong when love lives strongly?

Friction happens when you surround yourself with people who reenforce the negative actions you take, like drinking, doing drugs or taking risks. It happens when they add to the terrible thoughts you are already thinking.

Stay away from anything or anyone telling you about veterans committing suicide with their pushups, walks, stunts and events you are invited you to because they tell you what a good time you'll have.

Get evaluated. Get treatment. Communicate and spend your time doing things that will be a benefit to your life. Stop letting other people suck the hope out of you.

Learn all you can about PTSD and know that you can heal. Life can get a lot better than it is right now if you put in as much effort healing as you have suffering.

Adjustment of your vehicle

Realignment

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 25, 2018

I had to get new tires for my car. In the process, they put the car on a machine to do an alignment. 

WHAT IS TIRE ALIGNMENT?

Alignment refers to an adjustment of a vehicle’s suspension – the system that connects a vehicle to its wheels. It is not an adjustment of the tires or wheels themselves. The key to proper alignment is adjusting the angles of the tires which affects how they make contact with the road.

That got me thinking about how veterans can do an alignment of their lives. They can adjust the angles and make different contacts with other veterans on the road.

Right now the most powerful tool to prevent suicides if not being used. Too many have just jumped on the "suicide awareness" stunts while veterans are left wondering where hope is.

What is going on? We see so many groups talking about veterans killing themselves, but the outcome is more suffering and less healing.

Do these people really care? That is clear for most involved that they do. The problem is, they did not care enough to know what to do to change the outcome.

The answer was already inside of them. 

First, here is something inspiring about a veteran.

Boot Campaign Hero Ambassador and executive director for 22Kill Jake Schick didn't let his 2004 combat injury end his happiness. His love story and dedication to ending veteran suicide is nothing short of inspiring.

His story itself is empowering because he talks about not giving up, looking to the future with his family. 

This is where his story went wrong.

"It has been a passion of my since I got the phone call one of my brother's took his own life. So I jumped right in."  22Kill Executive Director Jacob Schick

It is easy to see he does have a passion for this "brothers" and wanted to do something to help them. But the problem is, jumping in is what caused the results we see, instead of learning what was needed to change the outcome from suicide into healing.

I am glad I found this video from Jake Schick because there is real power in his story. Watch it and skip the part about "raising awareness."

So, how do these groups do a realignment? How do they make the journey safer and smoother for veterans looking for hope?

They stop doing the stunts and "having fun" with parties. They take a serious look at what the results have been and change how they approach the only kind of awareness veterans need to have. That they can heal!

PTSD should not have the power to define them. They need to know that power is within their reach and they can realign the everything!

To all the groups out there, if you want to really prevent veterans from committing suicide, then stop just jumping in to do something and start doing the right thing!

There is nothing more powerful than talking to them about how you did it, how you discovered you could #TakeBackYourLife.

A Time For Every Gear You Use

Motion requires different gears

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 18, 2018

The wheels turn, turn, turn and we move forward. Sometimes the road is smooth. Other times, it is a bumpy road we must travel on to get where we want to go.

There are times when we are alone on the road, but the passengers in our minds keep us company.

Sometimes the sun is shining and we can enjoy the drive. Sometimes it is snowing. The roads are dangerous to be on.

Sometimes we are the only ones on the road. Other times we are stuck in traffic.

What all of us must deal with, is, there are no guarantees any trip will be an easy one to take. 

To everything, there is a gear, that makes your wheels turn, turn, turn 

And a time to every purpose, under your hood 

A time to be move forward, a time to park 

A time to stay, a time to travel 

A time to reverse, a time for neutral 

A time to joy ride, a time to stop 

To everything, there is a gear. that makes your wheels turn, turn, turn.

There is a time to grieve, remember what is lost and then a time to remember with fondness. A time to cry and release the pain you feel. That makes room for a time to feel joy again.

No matter where you want to go in life, you pack everything into what you carry the rest of your life. How you switch gears depends on what you are willing to unpack, let go of, and what you need to carry with you.

When someone says "get over it" they are trying to tell you to move past it, but you hear forget about it all instead.

Sammy Davis, received the Medal of Honor for his service in Vietnam. A few years ago, we were at an event at the Orlando Nam Knights. I've known Sammy and his wife Dixie for a very long time. I asked him if he wanted to add to a PSA he did for veterans dealing with PTSD. This is what he had to say about "getting over it" and it is a message everyone needs to hear.

The real lyrics

Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)
The Byrds
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn) And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late
Songwriters: Peter Seeger
Turn! Turn! Turn! 

(To Everything There Is a Season) lyrics © T.R.O. Inc.