5 stages of grieving and 5 gears to healing PTSD

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 11, 2020

Trying to keep these as short as possible. The basic message in this one is that there are 5 gears in an automatic transmission and each one represents movement, as well as how to heal PTSD.

I usually try to explain all this in terms of your car. Everyone can basically understand how to use their car, but few can understand how to use their own minds to get them to where they want to go.

THESE ARE THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF

The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them.

5 GEARS

Part

Reverse

Neutral

Drive

Over Drive

And this is how you start to decide what you want to do when you get into your vehicle....not your car but the vehicle you live in!

This is my prayer for all of you!

Praise to the God of All Comfort Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 New International Version (NIV) 

Lesson Two: Getting past gloomy days

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 10, 2020

Today I posted on Wounded Times that is was the end. Really hard considering I started it back in 2007. Over 31,000 posts on it, tons of research and countless articles, it was hard to let it go, but it was important that I did it in order to move on.

Honestly, it was making me miserable. Being miserable made is very difficult to come up with messages offering hope. 

Starting today, this is where I will invest my work, and this is why it is more important than ever to focus on everyone with PTSD. This is from the SIDRAN Institute

Facts at a Glance
▪ An estimated 70 percent of adults in the United States have experienced a traumatic event at least once in their lives and up to 20 percent of these people go on to develop posttraumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.
▪ An estimated 5 percent of Americans—more than 13 million people—have PTSD at any given time.
▪ Approximately 8.7 percent of all adults—1 of 13 people in this country—will develop PTSD during their lifetime.
▪ About 3.6% of adults in the United States suffer from PTSD during the course of a year.
▪ An estimated 1 out of 9 women will get PTSD at some time in their lives. Women are about twice as likely as men to develop PTSD.

Although PTSD was caused by different events, the outcome is the same. People struggle and need help to find their own way to heal.

I needed to find a way to help do that without having my work stolen. Every video, will have my face on it. I may link to other videos but you will know exactly where they came from. That is one rule I never broke in all the years I have been doing this. What I write will be backed up with the video so no one can say it was their work especially when whatever they do, shows up long after the video goes up.

I believe I was put on this earth to help people heal, because I am one of you! I also believe it is time that I protect my work better than I have before.

I should call these chats from the garage, since that is where I seem to be doing most of them. This one is about how one day can be really gloomy in your life, just like the weather. The thing everyone needs to remember is, the sun is shining somewhere and will shine on your "house" again. Honor what you are feeling as a survivor and then talk about what is going on. As soon as you do, you take power away from PTSD and your life begins to stop being so gloomy!

Problems stop when solutions start

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 5, 2020

This country has so many problems it seems as if everything is going wrong. It is hard to find hope with the pandemic claiming lives, coupled with massive protests, riots, looters and everyone being fed up with having to stay in instead of outside enjoying themselves. It is all even harder on veterans.

Everyone watched the public memorial service for George Floyd yesterday as hundreds gathered together along with politicians and celebrities. We have all been watching the protests across the country as thousands exercise their right to assemble, even when their states are dealing with a pandemic. 

Most have been complying with social distancing and wearing a mask in public who are not part of any of those events. Most understand the need to avoid crowds at the same time they want to reduce what the medical community has been subjected to with so many facing death. Yet some are attacking them for being afraid as if it is not doing our part to protect others.

Police Officers are under attack, and so are citizens. Businesses are being destroyed. 

The majority within the Veterans Community have been horrified by the stunts as more and more pop up to raise "suicide awareness" when they themselves did not even make themselves aware of what the facts were before they picked that number of 22. Wish they spent as much time and energy raising healing awareness so that lives would actually be saved and veterans start healing instead of struggling.

The latest thing is when taking a knee has been a powerful statement when police officers have joined protestors, and then people just think it is OK to do it even during the National Anthem. It is hurtful to veterans and patriotic people. There is a time and place for everything but no one is bothering to think of when that actually should be.

We have the military being used for "security" against our own people and retired Generals coming out to say how wrong this is. We have elected politicians failing to fix anything and because they are not held accountable they are adding to the problems we face.

Floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, a gigantic asteroid the size of the Empire State Building, murder hornets killing bees, over 40 million Americans out of work, people lining up at Food banks at the same time farmers were killing livestock, dumping crops and processing plants had to shut down because of COVID-19 spreading. 

What we have not seen is the solution to anything. We will stay divided until people actually use their brains to find the solutions. If you think that the rate of PTSD in this country is high now....it is about to turn into a tsunami and we're standing there with a beach shovel!

Want to change what is wrong? Then start with what is right and doing the right thing instead of what is easy for you to do!

Message to Police Officers....we're praying for you!

Police Officers:Joining Protestors in Prayers

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 2, 2020

Grieving hearts do not heal unless what unites you to the communities you serve know you care. Right now, that is exactly what is happening all over the country.

Members of Law Enforcement are showing the protestors you do care about them. After all, they are the ones you risk your lives for everyday. They tend to forget that in times such as these.

When riots started and looters destroyed businesses, police cars were set on fire, it was hard to find anything hopeful. What a few officers did to George Floyd repulsed the nation but what many people did not understand is, it also repulsed most of you.

The vast majority of all of you are stunning! Thinking about what you are facing has some wondering how you do it. How do you keep showing up knowing that you may not make it back home...topped off with the fact that too many in your own community hate you?

Then I think about Jesus. He knew what was going to happen to Him in the end, but He still preached love, compassion and charity. He kept showing up, knowing that dark day would come and He would sacrifice His live for everyone else.

He said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)

But you are willing to do it for strangers too! That requires courage, obviously, but it also requires love.

You are all paying the price for what a few officers have done to betray the badge they wear and that is a shame but I wanted you to know that most of us are grateful for your service. 

If you need more assurance of this, then read some recent news reports and the response from your communities. Know that you are not their enemy and noticed that they are not yours because of the actions and compassion you have shown!

WZZM 13 News

NewsBreak

WFLX News

Lexington Herald Leader

USA Today

You are in my prayers as well!

PTSD Patrol Family Road Trip Guide

Learn how to make a difference

Wounded Times
Cross Posted on PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 1, 2020


No matter what you think you know about PTSD, the truth is,  you have a lot more power than you think you do. The problem is, until you learn how to use it, things will still suck!

PTSD Patrol Family Road Trip Guide
We have actually taken a back seat for far too long!

This video was the first one I did on PTSD and Wounded Minds to help you learn more about the difference you can make. Originally it went up in 2006 and was reposted afterwards.

Help Raise PTSD Awareness

National Center for PTSD

There are currently about 8 million people in the United States with PTSD.

Even though PTSD treatments work, most people who have PTSD don't get the help they need. June is PTSD Awareness Month. Help us spread the word that effective PTSD treatments are available. Everyone with PTSD—whether they are Veterans or civilian survivors of sexual assault, serious accidents, natural disasters, or other traumatic events—needs to know that treatments really do work and can lead to a better quality of life.

Join Us
During PTSD Awareness Month, and throughout the entire year, help raise awareness about the many different PTSD treatment options. You can make a difference in the lives of Veterans and others who have experienced trauma. Everyone can help.
read it here