Lesson five: Going in reverse to heal PTSD

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 13, 2020

Before you automatically get upset, this is not about cognitive therapy. This is about going back to pick up memories your mind dropped off.

Survivors still struggle one year after the Las Vegas shooting

Mandalay Bay was the deadliest mass shooting in modern history.

58 killed Around 10 p.m. Sunday (1 a.m. ET), gunman Stephen Paddock opened fire from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Resort on a crowd watching Aldean. Several weapons were located in the 64-year-old Paddock's hotel room. Police reported at least 58 people were killed and more than 500 people were injured in the shooting.

Horrible memories for the families of those killed, and for the wounded...but also for those who witnessed it. This is PTSD territory. No one goes there on purpose. The road is always marked by DANGER signs no one sees until it is too late.

The murderer knew what he planned but no one else did. None of the 22,000 who were there thought about anything other than having a good time, listening to music and having fun. 

That took hold of everyone. It hitched a ride in their memories. But the wondrous thing is that other memories tried to hitch a ride too. Going back to pick them up, is one of the most important steps to begin to heal.

Among all those who were killed, wounded, traumatized and went on automatic pilot for flight, there were hundreds doing whatever they could to help. They rushed to help strangers...protect others and then comfort those who needed it.

When terrible things happen, especially because of what someone does, your mind will hang onto that memory because it caused everything else. You mind and sense also took in the images of people who went on autopilot to fight, risk their lives to help others make it out of there.

Go back and get those good images back and that will let you remember that compassion was there that day too.
Here is a good place to start to understand how much power there is in that lesson.

‘I felt safe with him’: Woman marries man who saved her in Las Vegas mass shooting 

“Next thing I knew, Austin was holding my hand and we were running through the entire grounds trying to make it to safety,” she told People.

At first, both thought the noises were fireworks. Monfort said he felt compelled to protect her once he realized what was happening. 

“I felt a sense of responsibility for Chantal,” Monfort, 24, told People. “She was with me and not her friends. I felt like not only did I have to get myself out, but also her. Keeping her calm and getting her out kept me calm, and didn’t allow me to panic.”

LESSON 4 Why events park in your brain

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 12, 2020

Four years ago today, about 300 people were at a nightclub for an evening of fun, dancing and drinking with their friends. It was the night a maniac decided to kill 49 of them, wound many others and change the lives of hundreds more.

WESH News

Remembering victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting: 4 years later

ORLANDO -- A ceremony commemorating the fourth anniversary of a massacre at a gay nightclub in Florida was being held virtually Friday because of the coronavirus, instead of members of the public gathering outside the club to remember the victims as in years past. 

A pre-taped, online ceremony was being held to remember the 49 people who were killed at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando in June 2016. The area around the club was closed to the public Friday, though survivors, family members of victims and first-responders were being allowed to visit. 

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis ordered state flags to be flown at half-staff Friday for Pulse Remembrance Day, and he asked Floridians to pause for a moment in the morning to remember the Pulse victims. 

"Four years have now passed, but our community's commitment to honoring the 49 angels and supporting the survivors, families of the victims and first responders remains strong," Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer tweeted. read it here

It hit and took a place in their minds. Even for those who were not there that night, it was hard to walk away from the TVs and the news coverage. Cell phones ringing haunted the responders who were there after it had all stopped, but for them, it never stopped happening.

Sandy Hook, September 11, Mandalay Bay,  Boston Marathon, Challenger Explosion, and many more events, written in history but recorded in our minds. They parked there! Most people remember where they were and what they were doing during huge events such as these. The memories only come back when reminded about them for most people.

It is a different story for those who have those memories parked in their emotional engine. They do not need to be reminded of something that would not allow them to forget.

It happened to over 7 million Americans. Far too many do not know what it is and have not been diagnosed, but the only way to be hit by PTSD, is a life altering event, such as the ones above.

This is from the MAYO Clinic

Intrusive memories

Symptoms of intrusive memories may include:

Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)
Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event
Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event
Avoidance

Symptoms of avoidance may include:

Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
Avoiding places, activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event
Negative changes in thinking and mood

Symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood may include:

Negative thoughts about yourself, other people or the world
Hopelessness about the future
Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event
Difficulty maintaining close relationships
Feeling detached from family and friends
Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed
Difficulty experiencing positive emotions
Feeling emotionally numb
Changes in physical and emotional reactions

Symptoms of changes in physical and emotional reactions (also called arousal symptoms) may include:

Being easily startled or frightened
Always being on guard for danger
Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast
Trouble sleeping
Trouble concentrating
Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior
Overwhelming guilt or shame
For children 6 years old and younger, signs and symptoms may also include:
Re-enacting the traumatic event or aspects of the traumatic event through play
Frightening dreams that may or may not include aspects of the traumatic event

Intensity of symptoms

PTSD symptoms can vary in intensity over time. You may have more PTSD symptoms when you're stressed in general, or when you come across reminders of what you went through. For example, you may hear a car backfire and relive combat experiences. Or you may see a report on the news about a sexual assault and feel overcome by memories of your own assault.

When to see a doctor

If you have disturbing thoughts and feelings about a traumatic event for more than a month, if they're severe, or if you feel you're having trouble getting your life back under control, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. Getting treatment as soon as possible can help prevent PTSD symptoms from getting worse.

Tomorrow we'll talk about how to go from park to reverse.

5 stages of grieving and 5 gears to healing PTSD

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 11, 2020

Trying to keep these as short as possible. The basic message in this one is that there are 5 gears in an automatic transmission and each one represents movement, as well as how to heal PTSD.

I usually try to explain all this in terms of your car. Everyone can basically understand how to use their car, but few can understand how to use their own minds to get them to where they want to go.

THESE ARE THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF

The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them.

5 GEARS

Part

Reverse

Neutral

Drive

Over Drive

And this is how you start to decide what you want to do when you get into your vehicle....not your car but the vehicle you live in!

This is my prayer for all of you!

Praise to the God of All Comfort Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 New International Version (NIV) 

Lesson Two: Getting past gloomy days

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 10, 2020

Today I posted on Wounded Times that is was the end. Really hard considering I started it back in 2007. Over 31,000 posts on it, tons of research and countless articles, it was hard to let it go, but it was important that I did it in order to move on.

Honestly, it was making me miserable. Being miserable made is very difficult to come up with messages offering hope. 

Starting today, this is where I will invest my work, and this is why it is more important than ever to focus on everyone with PTSD. This is from the SIDRAN Institute

Facts at a Glance
▪ An estimated 70 percent of adults in the United States have experienced a traumatic event at least once in their lives and up to 20 percent of these people go on to develop posttraumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.
▪ An estimated 5 percent of Americans—more than 13 million people—have PTSD at any given time.
▪ Approximately 8.7 percent of all adults—1 of 13 people in this country—will develop PTSD during their lifetime.
▪ About 3.6% of adults in the United States suffer from PTSD during the course of a year.
▪ An estimated 1 out of 9 women will get PTSD at some time in their lives. Women are about twice as likely as men to develop PTSD.

Although PTSD was caused by different events, the outcome is the same. People struggle and need help to find their own way to heal.

I needed to find a way to help do that without having my work stolen. Every video, will have my face on it. I may link to other videos but you will know exactly where they came from. That is one rule I never broke in all the years I have been doing this. What I write will be backed up with the video so no one can say it was their work especially when whatever they do, shows up long after the video goes up.

I believe I was put on this earth to help people heal, because I am one of you! I also believe it is time that I protect my work better than I have before.

I should call these chats from the garage, since that is where I seem to be doing most of them. This one is about how one day can be really gloomy in your life, just like the weather. The thing everyone needs to remember is, the sun is shining somewhere and will shine on your "house" again. Honor what you are feeling as a survivor and then talk about what is going on. As soon as you do, you take power away from PTSD and your life begins to stop being so gloomy!

Problems stop when solutions start

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 5, 2020

This country has so many problems it seems as if everything is going wrong. It is hard to find hope with the pandemic claiming lives, coupled with massive protests, riots, looters and everyone being fed up with having to stay in instead of outside enjoying themselves. It is all even harder on veterans.

Everyone watched the public memorial service for George Floyd yesterday as hundreds gathered together along with politicians and celebrities. We have all been watching the protests across the country as thousands exercise their right to assemble, even when their states are dealing with a pandemic. 

Most have been complying with social distancing and wearing a mask in public who are not part of any of those events. Most understand the need to avoid crowds at the same time they want to reduce what the medical community has been subjected to with so many facing death. Yet some are attacking them for being afraid as if it is not doing our part to protect others.

Police Officers are under attack, and so are citizens. Businesses are being destroyed. 

The majority within the Veterans Community have been horrified by the stunts as more and more pop up to raise "suicide awareness" when they themselves did not even make themselves aware of what the facts were before they picked that number of 22. Wish they spent as much time and energy raising healing awareness so that lives would actually be saved and veterans start healing instead of struggling.

The latest thing is when taking a knee has been a powerful statement when police officers have joined protestors, and then people just think it is OK to do it even during the National Anthem. It is hurtful to veterans and patriotic people. There is a time and place for everything but no one is bothering to think of when that actually should be.

We have the military being used for "security" against our own people and retired Generals coming out to say how wrong this is. We have elected politicians failing to fix anything and because they are not held accountable they are adding to the problems we face.

Floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, a gigantic asteroid the size of the Empire State Building, murder hornets killing bees, over 40 million Americans out of work, people lining up at Food banks at the same time farmers were killing livestock, dumping crops and processing plants had to shut down because of COVID-19 spreading. 

What we have not seen is the solution to anything. We will stay divided until people actually use their brains to find the solutions. If you think that the rate of PTSD in this country is high now....it is about to turn into a tsunami and we're standing there with a beach shovel!

Want to change what is wrong? Then start with what is right and doing the right thing instead of what is easy for you to do!