Driving lessons and detours

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 16, 2020

Yesterday I managed to put up the video, but nothing else. This post is about driving lessons and detours.

This is the video from yesterday.

Today it was one thing after another, but finally managed to do what i wanted to do. Most days are like that for a lot of people, especially living with #PTSD. If you have not done the first steps, please go back and review them, or the following will not help you as much.
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife

Today I had to do a couple of errands. We have only lived here about six months and while I am used to driving places I normally go to without a GPS, I have to use it for every other trip.

There was a detour on my way home and I had to follow the signs to find my way. Having PTSD is a very unfamiliar road for you. With following the signs that show you the way to get where you want to go...you'll get there!

When you are trying to heal as a survivor, confusion is like running into a detour. A familiar road is not open to you, so you have follow the signs to figure out how to get to where you want to go. Healing PTSD is the same feeling, when you know where you want to go, but things get messed up. You need to follow directions and get you to your destination. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife

Lesson 6 resting in neutral to heal PTSD

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 14, 2020

When the bad memory of the event, or events, park in your mind, it is necessary to go into reverse and retrieve the good memories that were left behind.

It could be acts of compassion, bravery, any other good memory that helped you get through the event and redeem your faith in humanity. 

In the video today, I mention September 11th when so many people did whatever they could to help others survive that day. There were more of them doing good than the few who decided to do something so horrible to people they did not know.

In the rearview mirror, I used an image that showed one of those moments. The thing is, what came afterwards is just as powerful when the woman in the photograph, hired the photographer who memorialize this act of compassion.

Woman Pictured in Iconic 9/11 Photo Hires Same Photographer for Wedding 17 Years Later 

Fstoppers 

by Jack Alexander 

September 18, 2018 

17 years after she became the subject of one of the most iconic photos from the 9/11 terror tragedy, a woman has hired the photographer behind the image to be her wedding photographer. 

Joanne "JoJo" Capestro was one of the lucky people who managed to make it out of the World Trade Center’s North Tower alive. As seen in photographer Phil Penman’s photo, she and a colleague were walking away from the site, clearly shaken up and covered in thick white dust and debris. 

Back then, she had no idea that it was renowned street photographer Penman that had captured her in the moment of crisis. 

The pair later formally met back in 2015 at the National September 11 Memorial and Museum, where Penman’s photo of Capestro was on display. And in coming full circle, on August 11th of this year, he fulfilled the duty of capturing Capestro’s wedding day, 17 years later. read their story here

After you went into reverse, hopefully you found some memories during the event that were good. Maybe it was one, or two, or many more. They can become just as powerful as the terrible memory was. Going into neutral gear, rest and think about those good memories until they become stronger and stronger. You will need them for when we discuss going into the drive forward when you #BreakTheSilence of #PTSD and #TakeBackYourLife

Lesson five: Going in reverse to heal PTSD

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 13, 2020

Before you automatically get upset, this is not about cognitive therapy. This is about going back to pick up memories your mind dropped off.

Survivors still struggle one year after the Las Vegas shooting

Mandalay Bay was the deadliest mass shooting in modern history.

58 killed Around 10 p.m. Sunday (1 a.m. ET), gunman Stephen Paddock opened fire from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Resort on a crowd watching Aldean. Several weapons were located in the 64-year-old Paddock's hotel room. Police reported at least 58 people were killed and more than 500 people were injured in the shooting.

Horrible memories for the families of those killed, and for the wounded...but also for those who witnessed it. This is PTSD territory. No one goes there on purpose. The road is always marked by DANGER signs no one sees until it is too late.

The murderer knew what he planned but no one else did. None of the 22,000 who were there thought about anything other than having a good time, listening to music and having fun. 

That took hold of everyone. It hitched a ride in their memories. But the wondrous thing is that other memories tried to hitch a ride too. Going back to pick them up, is one of the most important steps to begin to heal.

Among all those who were killed, wounded, traumatized and went on automatic pilot for flight, there were hundreds doing whatever they could to help. They rushed to help strangers...protect others and then comfort those who needed it.

When terrible things happen, especially because of what someone does, your mind will hang onto that memory because it caused everything else. You mind and sense also took in the images of people who went on autopilot to fight, risk their lives to help others make it out of there.

Go back and get those good images back and that will let you remember that compassion was there that day too.
Here is a good place to start to understand how much power there is in that lesson.

‘I felt safe with him’: Woman marries man who saved her in Las Vegas mass shooting 

“Next thing I knew, Austin was holding my hand and we were running through the entire grounds trying to make it to safety,” she told People.

At first, both thought the noises were fireworks. Monfort said he felt compelled to protect her once he realized what was happening. 

“I felt a sense of responsibility for Chantal,” Monfort, 24, told People. “She was with me and not her friends. I felt like not only did I have to get myself out, but also her. Keeping her calm and getting her out kept me calm, and didn’t allow me to panic.”

LESSON 4 Why events park in your brain

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 12, 2020

Four years ago today, about 300 people were at a nightclub for an evening of fun, dancing and drinking with their friends. It was the night a maniac decided to kill 49 of them, wound many others and change the lives of hundreds more.

WESH News

Remembering victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting: 4 years later

ORLANDO -- A ceremony commemorating the fourth anniversary of a massacre at a gay nightclub in Florida was being held virtually Friday because of the coronavirus, instead of members of the public gathering outside the club to remember the victims as in years past. 

A pre-taped, online ceremony was being held to remember the 49 people who were killed at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando in June 2016. The area around the club was closed to the public Friday, though survivors, family members of victims and first-responders were being allowed to visit. 

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis ordered state flags to be flown at half-staff Friday for Pulse Remembrance Day, and he asked Floridians to pause for a moment in the morning to remember the Pulse victims. 

"Four years have now passed, but our community's commitment to honoring the 49 angels and supporting the survivors, families of the victims and first responders remains strong," Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer tweeted. read it here

It hit and took a place in their minds. Even for those who were not there that night, it was hard to walk away from the TVs and the news coverage. Cell phones ringing haunted the responders who were there after it had all stopped, but for them, it never stopped happening.

Sandy Hook, September 11, Mandalay Bay,  Boston Marathon, Challenger Explosion, and many more events, written in history but recorded in our minds. They parked there! Most people remember where they were and what they were doing during huge events such as these. The memories only come back when reminded about them for most people.

It is a different story for those who have those memories parked in their emotional engine. They do not need to be reminded of something that would not allow them to forget.

It happened to over 7 million Americans. Far too many do not know what it is and have not been diagnosed, but the only way to be hit by PTSD, is a life altering event, such as the ones above.

This is from the MAYO Clinic

Intrusive memories

Symptoms of intrusive memories may include:

Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)
Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event
Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event
Avoidance

Symptoms of avoidance may include:

Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
Avoiding places, activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event
Negative changes in thinking and mood

Symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood may include:

Negative thoughts about yourself, other people or the world
Hopelessness about the future
Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event
Difficulty maintaining close relationships
Feeling detached from family and friends
Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed
Difficulty experiencing positive emotions
Feeling emotionally numb
Changes in physical and emotional reactions

Symptoms of changes in physical and emotional reactions (also called arousal symptoms) may include:

Being easily startled or frightened
Always being on guard for danger
Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast
Trouble sleeping
Trouble concentrating
Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior
Overwhelming guilt or shame
For children 6 years old and younger, signs and symptoms may also include:
Re-enacting the traumatic event or aspects of the traumatic event through play
Frightening dreams that may or may not include aspects of the traumatic event

Intensity of symptoms

PTSD symptoms can vary in intensity over time. You may have more PTSD symptoms when you're stressed in general, or when you come across reminders of what you went through. For example, you may hear a car backfire and relive combat experiences. Or you may see a report on the news about a sexual assault and feel overcome by memories of your own assault.

When to see a doctor

If you have disturbing thoughts and feelings about a traumatic event for more than a month, if they're severe, or if you feel you're having trouble getting your life back under control, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. Getting treatment as soon as possible can help prevent PTSD symptoms from getting worse.

Tomorrow we'll talk about how to go from park to reverse.

5 stages of grieving and 5 gears to healing PTSD

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

June 11, 2020

Trying to keep these as short as possible. The basic message in this one is that there are 5 gears in an automatic transmission and each one represents movement, as well as how to heal PTSD.

I usually try to explain all this in terms of your car. Everyone can basically understand how to use their car, but few can understand how to use their own minds to get them to where they want to go.

THESE ARE THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF

The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them.

5 GEARS

Part

Reverse

Neutral

Drive

Over Drive

And this is how you start to decide what you want to do when you get into your vehicle....not your car but the vehicle you live in!

This is my prayer for all of you!

Praise to the God of All Comfort Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 New International Version (NIV)