When your battle begins after their battle was supposed to end
PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos June 9, 2019
The PTSD Patrol video is late today because I was doing an interview with Sgt. Dave Matthews for KLRN Radio show Remember the Fallen. It is heard on Thursdays at 8:00 pm eastern time. We were talking about my book FOR THE LOVE OF JACK. This is part of the interview. If you want to hear the rest, you'll have to wait until Thursday. Next week, I'll have more of this.
Lyrics
This mans a child, this man is old
Sometimes he's mild, sometimes he's bold
This man I love, sometimes in spite
I wish he would stick to his guns, or abandon the fight
But when he shines, oh when he shines
Yes when he shines, he shines so bright
Sometimes a tramp, sometimes a dude
He changes colour just like a cameleon, cant find the mood
He is a song thats not easy to write
He is a moon in the morning, and the sun out at night
PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos June 2, 2019
It seems as if the stigma of PTSD is still being passed on to the point where veterans still do not understand it. You are limited by what you imagine to be true instead of encouraged by what you imagine to be possible.
Imagine having a happier life! That is possible. Imagine being able to overcome all the negative thoughts you have and replace them with achievable goals. It takes work but that work will only begin when you understand what PTSD is. Post means after. Trauma means wound. Stress comes after surviving the shock of what happened. Disorder comes when your mind and body are trying to adjust afterwards. Any shame in surviving something that could have killed you? No one walks away from that kind of trauma unchanged. The secret is, that you can change again. YEP! You are only stuck where you are because no one told you that you are in control over where you go. Just like getting into the vehicle you drive, (or getting on if you have a motorcycle) you control where you go from this point on. You chose the destination and how you get there. #BreakTheSilence comes when you are able to finally figure out that there is nothing within you that caused PTSD. IT HIT YOU! Any shame in being hit by a bullet? Any shame in getting blown up by a bomb? NOPE! Time to stop finding all the excuses for using your right to remain silent because all that does is keep you suffering instead of healing. Let's put it this way. Would I still be doing this after 37 years if I was ashamed of any of you? I have seen the dark side of PTSD and if that was all I saw, I would have given up on all of you a long time ago. What keeps me going is seeing the smile on your face and life back into your eyes when you break through to the other side of PTSD. We need to stop talking about PTSD the wrong way, and start talking about what it is. Teach how to break through to the other side of suffering...to healing! Yes, you can heal PTSD if you are willing to work at it. That begins when you #BreakTheSilence and do the work to #TakeBackYourLife
Lyrics
You know the day destroys the night
Night divides the day
Tried to run, tried to hide
Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side
Chased our plea here
Dug our treasures there
Still recall, time we cried
Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side
Break on through, yeah
All right
Everybody loves my baby
Everybody loves my baby
She get
She get
She get
She get high
I found an island in your arms
Country in your eyes
Arms that chain us, eyes that lie
Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side
Break on through, yeah
All right
Yeah, made the scene
Week to week
Day to day
Hour to hour
The gate is straight
Deep and wide
Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side
Break on through
Break on through
Break on through
Break on through
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Songwriters: JAMES MORRISON / JOHN DENSMORE / RAYMOND MANZAREK / ROBERT KRIEGER
Seeing the video and pictures put me in a strange mood. Nostalgic for the times I made the trip out there for Memorial Day and the Nam Knights ride on Saturday, the day before Rolling Thunder. I was also angry. It should not be acceptable that after all these years, the organizers had to end the ride because they could not find enough money to pay for everything they needed to do. There are a lot of things that are not acceptable...and one of the biggest reasons why I want to apologize for this video.
I should not have even tried to do a positive video when my head was ready to explode. This is an apology video because earlier today, I put up the video for PTSD Patrol, that was far from inspirational. I needed to get things out before my head exploded. This is most of the stuff that has me in a very bad mood. It begins with people saying "Happy Memorial Day" because the meaning is about having fun instead of honoring those who risked their lives for this county. The list of other things we find "acceptable" goes on and as long as they do, nothing will really change for those who serve this country~
The videos went up late today because I was out at Sunset Beach in Tarpon Springs and just got home today. It was for Armed Forces Day and Flag Retirement. Yes, the American flags were burned as a tribute befitting the men and women who paid the price for our freedom since the beginning.
When it was time for my speech, I could not block the wind and there was no way I could edit it enough for anyone to understand what I was saying, so, at the bottom of this, is basically what I had to say.
(Sorry folks by Murray is not in this one.)
First, I want to say, Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there. We know what it is like to feel joy when our children are happy, and what it is like to grieve when they are hurting.
Right now there is a battle going on all across the country, but you may have only heard about one side doing more harm than good. They may have had good intentions, but much like warning Jesus gave about "fruits of their deeds" facts have proven raising suicide awareness equals what the Pharisees were doing. Yet, while their intentions may have begun from God speaking to them to act, they chose to seek the glory by publicity stunts, having fun and doing pushups, instead of lifting up the spirits of the wounded and waiting for hope. Others, like members of Point Man International Ministries have been doing the work God called them to do since 1984, quietly and humbly. Much like the 72 others Jesus sent with his Disciples no one knows our names but those in need see the results of our work. Yesterday at the Veterans Reunion in Wickham Park I was trying to find members of Point Man and walking around in 90 degrees of heat. Not good for someone like me and I was drained to the point where I wanted to just faint. I had a hard time finding the strength to more one more step.
As I was looking for their tent, I came across some friends of mine with a golf cart. My buddy Jonnie drove me around, but it became clear that I would not be able to find them.
We drove past a tent that caught my eye. I wanted to go and talk to the man in the tent. You know what it is like when you are tugged to do something you may not really understand why you need to, but I have learned to just surrender to that strong pull a long time ago.
Gareth Burkinshaw was speaking to another man, and I looked at the brochures on his table. As I was reading, I thought he was on the right road and passionate about providing the hope that is so desperately needed. I pretended to not listen to what he was saying to the man, until he took his hand to pray for him. Couldn't help it, I had a smile take hold of my face. We talked for a bit and I was even more sure of the fact he was about doing the work of not just offering hope, but helping those in need find a way to heal. I asked Gareth if he wanted to do a video, and he agreed to meet a couple of hours later. As I was walking back to the campground where my husband and friends were waiting, I had enough energy to get there. I dropped down into a chair! My husband drove the golf cart since I knew I would not be able to endure the walk again. I was surprised I even managed to stay alert enough to set up the camera.
Gareth began to speak, and suddenly I was rejuvenated.If he could do that for me, think of what his message can do for others. He is, as he said "a freedom fighter" offering hope when others offer darkness and feed despair. Solutions for Soldiers is changing the conversation from grieving to achieving healing!
