PTSD Patrol learning how to cry again

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 3, 2020

There is so much we haven't talked about yet on PTSD Patrol. One of them is the why today's featured video is Jackson Browne, Doctor My Eyes. Before you start to heal PTSD, you may have been doing everything you can to numb pain. After all, that is all you end up feeling because PTSD eats away love, hope, compassion, and all the goodness you felt before. Misery exists and you want it to stop but if you have no idea how much better your life can be, that is all you can think of doing. 

When you get numb, all that pain builds up behind a wall. That is not a good thing,

Just say if it's too late for me

Doctor, my eyes

They cannot see the sky

Is this the prize

For having learned how not to cry?

But once you start to heal, the chance of you starting to cry is about 99%. It almost always happens. It can scare the crap out of you. It is not bad! It is a good thing because it means as you heal, the bricks in the wall start to let go and out comes the bad feelings that have been eating you up.

Good feelings finally have room to move in and take the place of bad ones. So if you are crying, then cry, because the more you do, the more you heal.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Doctor, my eyes have seen the years

And the slow parade of fears without crying

Now I want to understand

I have done all that I could

To see the evil and the good without hiding

You must help me if you can

Doctor, my eyes

Tell me what is wrong

Was I unwise to leave them open for so long?

'Cause I have wandered through this world

And as each moment has unfurled

I've been waiting to awaken from these dreams

People go just where they will

I never noticed them until I got this feeling

That it's later than it seems

Doctor, my eyes

Tell me what you see

I hear their cries

Just say if it's too late for me

Doctor, my eyes

They cannot see the sky

Is this the prize

For having learned how not to cry?

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Jackson Browne

Doctor My Eyes lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

PTSD Patrol Don't Leave Them Waiting There

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 2, 2020

Today the feature video is Paul McCartney, The Long And Winding Road. I chose this song because there are a lot of people who are hurting and giving up on finding hope. You may know someone like that. Someone who has been through a lot in their life, so much so, you have noticed the changes in them. You may see someone who used to be very happy and caring, but after something happened to them, they changed, and this caused you to suspect they have PTSD.

Surviving a traumatic event is the only way PTSD can strike them. Sometimes is hits them fast and hard. Other times, like when they have a dangerous job, it piles up little by little. For others, it comes many years later. 

For many, they spent their lives keeping busy, but when they retire, the extra time to think, allows PTSD to wake up. It isn't as if it just got into them. They have been carrying it for years but "stuffed it" or "pushed through it" yet with retirement, they have nothing else to occupy their minds.

Many times I've been alone

And many times I've cried

Anyway, you'll never know

The many ways I've tried

And still they lead me back

To the long winding road

You left me standing here

A long, long time ago

Don't leave me waiting here

Lead me to your door

Spend some time with them. Listen to them so you can figure out what they need and then help them find it. If they just need someone to talk to, listen. If they need professional help, go online and try to find it for them. Learn what you can about PTSD, what it is and why they have it so they do not feel so hopeless or think they are weak in any way.

Sometimes, just listening to them can make all the difference in the world to them because you let them know they matter and are worth your time.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The long and winding road

That leads to your door

Will never disappear

I've seen that road before

It always leads me here

Lead me to you door

The wild and windy night

That the rain washed away

Has left a pool of tears

Crying for the day

Why leave me standing here?

Let me know the way

Many times I've been alone

And many times I've cried

Anyway, you'll never know

The many ways I've tried

And still they lead me back

To the long winding road

You left me standing here

A long, long time ago

Don't leave me waiting here

Lead me to your door

But still they lead me back

To the long winding road

You left me standing here

A long, long time ago

Don't keep me waiting here

Lead me to your door

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney

The Long and Winding Road lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

PTSD Patrol you don't belong in the boondocks

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 1, 2020

Some people think they have the right to judge you, without even knowing you. They judge you by the way you dress, the type of car you drive, where you live, but other than that, they don't know YOU.

I spent a lot of years with motorcyle charity groups. People judge us and wanted to stay away from us on the road, because we wore leather vests and rode Harleys. We didn't care when they gave us dirty looks when we went in for a meal someplace on the road, because the purpose of the ride was always for chairty. We were doing good but none of that mattered because they usualy just judged instead of coming over to talk to us.

There is nothing you can do to change their minds, because apparently, they do not have the ability to think in the first place. It sucks to be judged but sucks ever more when you are hurting and need someone to talk to. They end up causing you to retreat further into yourself and your pain, instead of bothering to actually get to know you.

That is not your problem. It is theirs. You know what you are like and how much you care for others, so let that feed hope within you. Most of the time you need to talk to someone but are afraid to ask. Ask yourself what you would do if someone needed help from you. Would you judge them or help them? If you decided to help them, would you think less of them because they had to ask or more of them and their trust in you, because they turned to you?

Today the feature video is about being judged. Down In The Boondocks. Don't let people put you down because they never earned the right to.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Down in the boondocks

Down in the boondocks

People put me down 'cause that's the side of town I was born in

I love her, she loves me

But I don't fit in her society

Lord, have mercy on the boy from down in the boondocks

Every night I watch the lights from the house up on the hill

I love a little girl that lives up there and I guess I always will

But I don't dare knock on her door

'Cause her daddy is my boss man

So I'll just have to be content

To see her whenever I can

Down in the boondocks

Down in the boondocks

People put me down 'cause that's the side of town I was born in

I love her, she loves me

But I don't fit in her society

Lord, have mercy on the boy from down in the boondocks

Down in the boondocks

Down in the boondocks

One fine day I'll find the way 

To move from this old shack

I'll hold my head up like a king 

And I never, never will look back

Until that morning, I'll work and slave

And I'll save every dime

But tonight, she'll have to steal away

To see me one more time

Down in the boondocks

Down in the boondocks

People put me down 'cause that's the side of town I was born in

I love her, she loves me

But I don't fit in her society

Lord, have mercy on the boy from down in the boondocks

Lord, have mercy on the boy from down in the boondocks

Lord, have mercy on the boy from down in the boondocks

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Joe South

Down In The Boondocks lyrics © Concord Music Publishing LLC 

PTSD Patrol Doesn't have to be Halloween everyday

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 31, 2020

If you watched the older videos you remember Murray and this was taken of him early this morning..... The last thing you need is a scary movie. You live one every day of the year. You already know what it feels like to look into dark shadows and see things that are no longer there.

Today's video is The Carpenters Rainy Days and Mondays, because everyone knows what it is like to have sad days. The part of the song to focus on is "fitting in" and "belonging" because if that is what you are trying to do with people who have no clue what you're going through, then you need to stop trying and start finding where you do fit in and belong. You are still you in there and have a lot to offer others but you won't be able to show them if you are spending all your time trying to be what you are not.

YOU HAVE PTSD but that does not mean it has you. It does not have to dictate your future and you have the power to heal.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothin' ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me (the one who loves me)
What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out (talk it out)
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do (only thing to do)
Run and find the one who loves me (ooh)
What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out (to talk it out)
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get
Me down

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Paul H. Williams / Roger S. Nichols
Rainy Days and Mondays lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

as proised...Thriller

PTSD Patrol You're Still You

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 30, 2020

"Through the darkness I can see your light." Did you know that the origins of that inner light are all still within you? You may think that the darkness you're been living with since PTSD moved in, is something you will never escape and it killed off everything that was good inside of you, but it is all still there.

Today the feature video is Josh Groban You're Still You because that is a message that anyone with PTSD needs to hear. It is something that I told my husband at least a thousand times over the years. He thought it had all died until he started to heal and was able to see himself again.

I often think about why so many events in my own life did not cause the same level of damage in me that he was going through. Mine began when I was so young that it ended up making me even more connected to who I was inside. There were so many times when I allowed myself to be beaten down by what others thought about me, until I noticed that the only power they had over me, was what I was willing to give them. I was still me...only stronger because of it, so I knew he was still him behind that wall of pain he had been building over the years.

All the things that made you "you" are all still there too. You just need some help finding yourself again.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Through the darkness

I can see your light

And you will always shine

And I can feel your heart in mine

Your face I've memorized

I idolize just you

I look up to

Everything you are

In my eyes you do no wrong

I've loved you for so long

And after all is said and done

You're still you

After all

You're still you

You walk past me

I can feel your pain

Time changes everything

One truth always stays the same

You're still you

After all

You're still you

I look up to

Everything you are

In my eyes you do no wrong

And I believe in you

Although you never asked me to

I will remember you

And what life put you through

And in this cruel and lonely world

I found one love

You're still you

After all

You're still you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Ennio Morricone / Linda Thompson