Sunday, November 22, 2020

PTSD Patrol Don't Give Up

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 22, 2020

When you believe in yourself, it sucks when others do not believe in you too. You know the right thing to do, and when it gets hard to do it, it is easier to just give up...but not better.

I know what that is like. I have over 500 videos up on YouTube and lost count on how many posts, but there are not many people who supported me over the years. I still believe in doing the right thing. 

When I met my husband, people didn't think it would last but we've been together for 38 years and married for over 36...because we believed. We believed in each other and got through the darkest times together.

"Even when nobody else believes, I'm mot grim' down easily" and that is why the feature song today is Andy Grammar Don't Give Up On Me.

It would be easier to do the right thing if you have support and someone to help you, but don't let that stop you. That is how miracles happen, Everything that has been achieved only happened because the people trying to do it, did not give up on themselves. 

Don't let PTSD stop you from believing in yourself!

I won't give up on you and hope you don't give up on me!

Remember, it is your life, get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


I will fight
I will fight for you
I always do until my heart
Is black and blue
And I will stay
I will stay with you
We'll make it to the other side
Like lovers do
I'll reach my hands out in the dark
And wait for yours to interlock
I'll wait for you
I'll wait for you
'Cause I'm not givin' up
I'm not givin' up, givin' up
No, not yet
Even when I'm down to my last breath
Even when they say there's nothin' left
So don't give up on
I'm not givin' up
I'm not givin' up, givin' up
No, not me
Even when nobody else believes
I'm not goin' down that easily
So don't give up on me
And I will hold
I'll hold onto you
No matter what this world'll throw
It won't shake me loose
I'll reach my hands out in the dark
And wait for yours to interlock
I'll wait for you
I'll wait for you
'Cause I'm not givin' up
I'm not givin' up, givin' up
No, not yet
Even when I'm down to my last breath
Even when they say there's nothin' left
So don't give up on
I'm not givin' up
I'm not givin' up, givin' up
No, not me
Even when nobody else believes
I'm not goin' down that easily
So don't give up on me
Whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I will fight
I will fight for you
I always do until my heart
Is black and blue

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Andrew Charles Grammer / Bram Inscore / Jacob Torrey / San Farrar
Don't Give up on Me lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 


I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know, ooh oh
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, ooh oh
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh, I believe
Taking all I have and now I'm layin' it at Your feet
You'll have every failure God, You'll have every victory, ooh oh
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
Oh, I believe (I), yes, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe (oh)

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Lauren Daigle / Paul Brendon Mabury
You Say lyrics © Essential Music Publishing

Lauren Daigle - You Say (Official Music Video)

Saturday, November 21, 2020

PTSD Patrol Tell Them About It

PTSD Patrol
Kathis Costos
November 21, 2020

Today the feature video is Billy Joel Tell Her About it! When you have PTSD and you are trying to hide what is going on with you, the person you love, the people in your family, will have no idea what is going on with you. Most people have no clue what PTSD is and have even less of an idea about what you are experiencing. TELL THEM ABOUT IT!

If you try to hide it, they can see the changes and they wonder what you're hiding. Did you stop loving them. Did you find someone else? What did they do wrong to cause you to act the way you are? It isn't fair to them.

When you push them away, they push you away and sooner or later, you have no one to help you. You are destroying a good relationship instead of building one.

TELL THEM ABOUT IT, trust them enough to tell them about it and yes, even share your crazy dreams.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD.




Listen boy
I don't want to see you let a good thing 
Slip away
You know I don't like watching 
Anybody make the same mistakes 
I made
She's a real nice girl 
And she's always there for you 
But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do
Listen boy 
I'm sure that you think you got it all 
Under control
You don't want somebody telling you 
The way to stay in someone's soul
You're a big boy now 
You'll never let her go 
But that's just the kind of thing 
She ought to know
Tell her about it 
Tell her everything you feel 
Give her every reason to accept 
That you're for real
Tell her about it 
Tell her all your crazy dreams 
Let her know you need her 
Let her know how much she means
Listen boy 
It's not automatically a certain guarantee 
To insure yourself 
You've got to provide communication constantly
When you love someone 
You're always insecure 
And there's only one good way 
To reassure
Tell her about it 
Let her know how much you care 
When she can't be with you 
Tell her you wish you were there
Tell her about it 
Every day before you leave 
Pay her some attention 
Give her something to believe
'Cause now and then 
She'll get to worrying 
Just because you haven't spoken 
For so long 
Though you may not have done anything 
Will that be a consolation when she's gone
Listen boy 
It's good information from a man 
Who's made mistakes
Just a word or two that she gets from you 
Could be the difference that it makes
She's a trusting soul 
She's put her trust in you 
But a girl like that won't tell you 
What you should do
Tell her about it 
Tell her everything you feel 
Give her every reason 
To accept that you're for real
Tell her about it 
Tell her all your crazy dreams 
Let her know you need her 
Let her know how much she means
Tell her about it 
Tell her how you feel right now 
Tell her about it 
The girl don't want to wait too long 
You got to tell her about it 
Tell her now and you won't go wrong 
You got to tell her about it 
Before it gets too late 
You got to tell her about it 
You know the girl don't want 
To wait, you got to 
Tell her about it

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Billy Joel
Tell Her About It lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

Friday, November 20, 2020

PTSD Patrol And, feelin' good was easy

PTSD Patrol 
Kathie Costos 
November 20, 2020

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
Nothin', don't mean nothin' hon' if it ain't free, no no
Today the feature video is Janis Joplin, Me and Bobby McGee.  "Feeling good was easy" even though as the lyrics show, it sounds like their life together was not so easy. It was more of the state of the mind they were in where they were free to go wherever they wanted to, even though the journey itself was hard.

People assume that after you survive something, feeling good should be easy. They tell you to get over it and enjoy your life, but when you have PTSD that is the hardest thing to do. Feeling good is not so easy for you.

It is hard but you can achieve it. You can be happier than you have been because everything that you are, is still inside of you. So, if you were normal happy, you can be happy again. If little things made you feel wonderful, they can again.

I remember one day when I was at work before dawn. I was in the office by myself, put on the coffee and started to open the blinds. As I walked to the back door, the sun just started to rise. The sky became a brilliant mix of purple and red. I stood there for the longest time in awe. I could feel it in my soul!

That was after many times facing death and my ex husband trying to kill me...then stalking me. I stood at that door, looking at the engagement ring on my finger and I knew everything would be OK. 38 years later, no matter what hardships we've been through, we found the "home" we were looking for with each other.

Had I not been ready, stronger because I healed, that day would have never come. Had I not lived through everything I did, I wouldn't have been able to help my husband heal too!

Don't trade all your tomorrows for yesterdays you refuse to heal from.

Remember it is your life, get in and drive it! BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD




Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waitin' for a train
And I's feelin' near as faded as my jeans
Bobby thumbed a diesel down, just before it rained
It rode us all the way to New Orleans
I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandanna
I was playin' soft while Bobby sang the blues, yeah
Windshield wipers slappin' time, I was holdin' Bobby's hand in mine
We sang every song that driver knew
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
Nothin', don't mean nothin' hon' if it ain't free, no no
And, feelin' good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues
You know, feelin' good was good enough for me
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee
From the Kentucky coal mine to the California sun
There Bobby shared the secrets of my soul
Through all kinds of weather, through everything we done
Yeah, Bobby baby kept me from the cold
One day up near Salinas, Lord, I let him slip away
He's lookin' for that home, and I hope he finds it
But, I'd trade all of my tomorrows, for a single yesterday
To be holdin' Bobby's body next to mine
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
Nothin', that's all that Bobby left me, yeah
But, feelin' good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues
Hey, feelin' good was good enough for me, mm-hmm
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee
La da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da
La da da da da da da da
Bobby McGee, yeah
La da da da da da da
La da da da da da da
La da da da da da da
Bobby McGee, yeah
La da La la da da la da da la da da
La da da da da da da da da
Hey, my Bobby
Oh, my Bobby McGee, yeah
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Hey, my Bobby
Oh, my Bobby McGee, yeah
Well, I call him my lover, call him my man
I said, I call him my lover did the best I can, c'mon
Hey now, Bobby now
Hey now, Bobby McGee, yeah
Woo
La da, la da, la da, la da, la da, la da, la da, la la
Hey, hey, hey Bobby McGee, yeah
La da, la da, la da, la da, la da, la da, la da, la
Hey, hey, hey, Bobby McGee, yeah

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Fred L. Foster / Kris Kristofferson
Me and Bobby McGee lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC


Me and Boddy McGee

TO LOVE SOMEBODY by Janis Joplin

Thursday, November 19, 2020

PTSD Patrol Can't Hurry Healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 19, 2020

Today the feature video is another chair dancing song, Phil Collins You Can't Hurry Love.

When you have PTSD, it can be very lonely. A lot of relationships fall apart, so you are facing your pain alone. There comes a time when all you can think about is how much you want someone else in your life, but if you have not started to heal, then that new relationship will not work. When you love someone, you want to give them the best of yourself, but if it is trapped behind that wall of pain, and you are not ready, you have doomed that relationship before it even had a chance to begin.

After my ex-husband tried to kill me, the last thing I wanted was another relationship. After dating, I missed having someone in my life, but I was already healing and sure that I was ready when I met my second husband 38 years ago, the man I am still married to.

His first marriage fell apart too. We were ready for each other and then healed together.  He is a Vietnam veteran with PTSD, so maybe it was a little easier for me to understand what he was going through, just as he was able to understand what I was going through,

There are veterans who have had multiple marriages because they never invested the time in healing so they were able to give anyone the best part of themselves. You cannot hurry healing and you cannot hurry love but when you are ready, that new relationship can be so much stronger than anything you ever imagined it could be!

Remember, it is your life, get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I need love, love
Oh, ease my mind
And I need to find time
Someone to call mine
My mama said, "you can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait"
She said, "love don't come easy
But it's a game of give and take"
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes
How many heartaches must I stand
Before I find the love to let me live again
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on
When I feel my strength, ooh, it's almost gone
I remember mama said, "you can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait"
She said, "love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take"
How long must I wait
How much more must I take
Before loneliness
Will cause my heart, heart to break
No, I can't bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that i, I can't go on
Well these precious words keep me hanging on
I remember mama said, "you can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait"
She said, "love don't come easy
But it's a game of give and take"
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes
Now wait
Now love, love don't come easy
But I keep on waiting
Anticipating for that soft voice
To talk to me at night
For some tender arms
Hold me tight
I keep waiting
Ooh, till that day
But it ain't easy (love don't come easy)
No, you know it ain't easy
My mama said you can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said "love don't come easy
But it's a game of give and take"
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said "love don't come easy
But it's a game of give and take"
You can't hurry love, no you'll just have to wait

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Brian Holland / Lamont Dozier / Edward Jr. Holland
You Can't Hurry Love lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

PTSD Patrol head on the highway toward healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 18, 2020

Were you born to be wild or was your imagination? I remember as a young kid in school reading history books and imagination what it was like to be them. What was it like to be the people who decided they didn't want to be under British rule anymore? They knew that they would be hated by people they knew but it was worth it to them to lose them in order to gain freedom for everyone. They were willing to pay whatever price they had to pay.

When I read books about different parts of the world, I thought about how wonderful it would be to see all those places and experience all the beauty around the world. My imagination ran wild with possibilities.

Your imagination was also born to be wild. Sometimes it can be a bad thing, when doubts and fears flood your thoughts, trapping you with all the pain PTSD caused. Yet when your imagination is fueled with hope, then you see the obstacles but figure out a way to either get over them or get around them.

What is your wild mind trying to tell you about this ride?

I like smoke and lightnin'
Heavy metal thunder
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under

The only limits you have are the ones you self impose. Time to "get your motor runnin'" and head up highway to healing!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



Steppenwolf - Born To Be Wild (Easy Rider) (1969) 
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah, darlin', go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once and
Explode into space
I like smoke and lightnin'
Heavy metal thunder
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under
Yeah, darlin', go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once and
Explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
We're lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah, darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once and
Explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Mars Bonfire
Born to Be Wild lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

guide to take back our life

June 26, 2021 The new site for PTSD Patrol  is up and running. New blog posts will begin there on June 27, 2021. This site will remain up...

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It is your life, get in and drive it