Yes, happiness make PTSD miserable

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 9, 2021

I can't help it! In some ways, I am still 12. Doesn't matter I've been that way for over 40 years because it is fun and helps me to have a more hopeful attitude. In some ways I really haven't grown up. One of my favorite movies is Shrek. When I lived in Florida, a bunch of us went to the movies every week. I am a Chaplain, yet one of my favorite grownup movies is The Hangover. I laughed so hard I cried. What made it funnier was the reaction of my friends. They were shocked I didn't hate it and they cracked up laughing too, which made me laugh even more.

Another thing that I think is funny is, I have short term memory loss and so does my husband. That can frustrate the hell out of anyone, but it is how you respond to screwing up that will either make you miserable or laugh a lot!

I bought a Glade air freshener with a light sensor on it and brought it home. It didn't work, so I brought it back to the store. I told them it was defective and got another one. I brought that one home and it didn't work either. My husband came over to me, gave me one of "those" faces and asked, "Don't you have to plug it in first?" I laughed my ass off so much that my cheeks hurt.

The featured video today is Justin Timberlake, Can't Stop The Feeling. When I was looking for the video, I found the one from Trolls. Princess Poppy was asked by a group, "Do you think I can be happy?"

"Of course! It's inside all of us!"

I am never sure why so many survivors of PTSD think that being happy again is not possible for them. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened, or what things were like for you a second ago, because you can change every moment onward. It is all inside of you too! Not just feeling happy again, but each step you take to heal, robs power away from PTSD. It wants you to be miserable. Hell, it not only wants you to be that way but wants you to believe you deserve to suffer instead of enjoy your life.

It wants you to stop doing what you loved to do. It wants you to stop writing, stop painting, stop playing music and stop dancing on your feet or in your chair. Yes, happiness make PTSD miserable and it starts to give up controlling your life. Isn't it time you did stop the feeling misery and started feeling happy too?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Can't Stop the Feeling! 

Justin Timberlake

I got this feeling inside my bones

It goes electric, wavey when I turn it on

All through my city, all through my home

We're flying up, no ceiling, when we in our zone

I got that sunshine in my pocket

Got that good song in my feet

I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops

I can't take my eyes up off it, moving so phenomenally

You gone like the way we rock it, so don't stop

Under the lights when everything goes

Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close

When we move, well, you already know

So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine

Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance

Feeling good, good, creeping up on you

So just dance, dance, dance, come on

All those things I should do to you

But you dance, dance, dance

And ain't nobody leaving soon, so keep dancing

I can't stop the feeling

So just dance, dance, dance

I can't stop the feeling

So just dance, dance, dance, come on

Ooh, it's something magical

It's in the air, it's in my blood, it's rushing on

I don't need no reason, don't need control

I fly so high, no ceiling, when I'm in my zone

Cause I got that sunshine in my pocket

Got that good song in my feet

I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops

I can't take my eyes up off it, moving so phenomenally

You gon' like the way we rock it, so don't stop

Under the lights when everything goes

Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close

When we move, well, you already know

So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine

Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance

Feeling good, good, creeping up on you

So just dance, dance, dance, come on

All those things I should do to you

But you dance, dance, dance

And ain't nobody leaving soon, so keep dancing

I can't stop the feeling

So just dance, dance, dance

I can't stop the feeling

So just dance, dance, dance

I can't stop the feeling

So just dance, dance, dance

I can't stop the feeling

So keep dancing, come on

I can't stop the, I can't stop the

I can't stop the, I can't stop the

I can't stop the feeling

Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance

(I can't stop the feeling)

Feeling good, good, creeping up on you

So just dance, dance, dance, come on

(I can't stop the feeling)

All those things I should do to you

But you dance, dance, dance

(I can't stop the feeling)

And ain't nobody leaving soon, so keep dancing

Everybody sing

(I can't stop the feeling)

Got this feeling in my body

(I can't stop the feeling)

Got this feeling in my body

(I can't stop the feeling)

Wanna see you move your body

(I can't stop the feeling)

Got this feeling in my body

Break it down

Got this feeling in my body

Can't stop the feeling

Got this feeling in my body, come on

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Justin Timberlake / Max Martin / Shellback

Can't Stop the Feeling! lyrics © Universal Music - Z Tunes Llc, Tennman Tunes, Dwa Songs 

And now for the grownup video....

PTSD going from hopeless to hope full

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

April 8, 2021

All changes are not good ones. When your life is a certain kind of "normal" for you and trauma hits, that is a bad change from life as you knew it to life facing danger. The second it is over, then there is another change, but this one is good. You went from victim of it, to survivor of it.

Another change comes, which may not be a good one, when you are carrying "it" within you and it tries to take over the rest of your life. If you do not fight to take back control over your life, it keeps trying to take over more of "you" and everything you are.

Now comes another good change. You don't have to submit to it. You don't have to give into it. You do have the power to #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD. Now that you know that, words have more power to heal you, than harm you.

Words are very powerful things. They can change your day and if the word "hope" is heard enough so that you believe it is possible to realize what hope actually means, then it can change your life.

If there is one song that proves how powerful words of hope are, it should be Wind Of Change as a theme song for hope.

Wind Of Change, by the Scorpions is powerful. It is also a controversial song.

Joshua Dudley wrote about it on FORBES New Investigative Podcast Explores The Fall Of The Soviet Union Through The Song ‘Wind Of Change’

"The fervor over the song grew immediately, and it became a worldwide hit and the unofficial anthem of the fall of the Berlin Wall with its sweeping hooks and power ballad riffs and lyrics about the Moskva River and Gorky Park."

Think about that for a second. Those words may very well have changed a nation! So why wouldn't you think that words could bring a good change into your life again? 

There are so many different ways people heal PTSD because each one worked for others. Having different ways, means that if one doesn't work for you, there are others to try until you find the right one for you. Now think about this. If you were supposed to suffer, why would there be any treatments or therapies created in the first place? 

It happened because researchers understood that PTSD was caused by changing from relatively safe conditions into dangerous ones. You had hope of finding safety again.Wanting to get you from danger back into safety, you found it, because you no longer belonged in that dangerous situation. You do not belong in a dangerous situation now or a place where you surrender hope to something you left behind you.

It is time for another change when you go from hopeless to hopeful. Think about what that word means...hope full. Fill up your life with hope and you will be a lot happier! Time to create your own wind of change!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Wind Of Change

Scorpions 

Follow the Moskva

Down to Gorky Park

Listening to the wind of change

An August summer night

Soldiers passing by

Listening to the wind of change

The world is closing in

Did you ever think

That we could be so close, like brothers

The future's in the air

Can feel it everywhere

Blowing with the wind of change

Take me to the magic of the moment

On a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow dream away

In the wind of change

Walking down the street

Distant memories

Are buried in the past, forever

I follow the Moskva

Down to Gorky Park

Listening to the wind of change

Take me to the magic of the moment

On a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams

With you and me

Take me to the magic of the moment

On a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow dream away

In the wind of change

The wind of change

Blows straight into the face of time

Like a storm wind that will ring the freedom bell

For peace of mind

Let your balalaika sing

What my guitar wants to say

Take me to the magic of the moment

On a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams

With you and me

Take me to the magic of the moment

On a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow dream away

In the wind of change

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Klaus Meine

Wind Of Change lyrics © Bmg Rights Management Gmbh (germany) 

PTSD is more than a feeling

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 6, 2021

PTSD is so much more than a feeling. It is life changing from a life threatening event. It would be a great start in the right direction if people understood that, then maybe, they'd stop telling people to "just get over it" as if they don't want to. It doesn't matter to them if "it" happened to them ten, twenty, thirty or forty years ago. If they had a flashback, it just happened to them all over again. I don't know anyone who wouldn't pay to go back to to the way they were before or to the life they had before. I don't know anyone who wants to just stay the way they are. The problem is, they have no idea, while it is impossible to go back to the way they were before, it is very possible to have a better life.

It is like losing someone you knew very well. It is like losing yourself. That is why today the featured video is Boston, More Than A Feeling.

I think the song resonates so much because everyone has lost someone in their lives. Some of us have also lost ourselves!

Be the help they need to heal and if you are healing, from more than a feeling, then celebrate! The second song from Boston is, Don't Look Back. You are not going that way anymore and you're too busy looking forward to a happier life!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

More Than A Feeling

Boston 

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone

Turned on some music to start my day

I lost myself in a familiar song

I closed my eyes and I slipped away

It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)

When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)

And I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)

'Til I see Marianne walk away

I see my Marianne walkin' away

So many people have come and gone

Their faces fade as the years go by

Yet I still recall as I wander on

As clear as the sun in the summer sky

It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)

When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)

And I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)

'Til I see Marianne walk away

I see my Marianne walkin' away

When I'm tired and thinking cold

I hide in my music, forget the day

And dream of a girl I used to know

I closed my eyes and she slipped away

She slipped away

It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)

When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)

And I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)

'Til I see Marianne walk away

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Tom Scholz

More Than a Feeling lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

And when you heal...don't look back, you're not going that way anymore!

Don’t Look Back

Boston

Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'

It's been too long since I felt this way

I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken

The road is callin', today is the day

I can see, it took so long just to realize

I'm much too strong not to compromise

Now I see what I am is holding me down

I'll turn it around

Oh, yes, I will

I finally see the dawn arrivin'

I see beyond the road I'm drivin'

It's a bright horizon, ooh, and I'm awaken

I see myself in a brand new way

The sun is shinin', ooh, the clouds are breakin'

'Cause I can't lose now, there's no game to play

I can tell there's no more time left to criticize

I've seen what I could not recognize

Everything in my life was leading me on

But I can be strong

Oh, yes I can

I finally see the dawn arrivin'

I see beyond the road I'm drivin'

Ooh, far away, I'm left behind, left behind

Oh, the sun is shining

And I'm on that road

Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'

It's been so long since I felt this way

I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken

The road is callin', today is the day

I can see, it took so long just to realize

I'm much too strong not to compromise

Now I see what I am is holding me down

I'll turn it around

Oh, yes I will

I finally see the dawn arrivin' 

I see beyond the road I'm drivin'

I'm far away and left behind

Don't look back

Don't look back

Don't look back

Don't look back

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Scholz Tom

Don’t Look Back lyrics © Pure Songs, Hideaway Hits

Be the real friend I need

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 5, 2021

Today the featured video is Celtic Women, Walk Beside Me because that is a very powerful message when you are hurting. PTSD can do a lot of things to you but if you have someone walking beside you, it makes it hurt less. That is a gift they will never really understand but it is one that can save your future.

We've all been fed up with doom and gloom messages about how many take their own lives, leaving behind families with a lifetime of burden to carry. Just because they were not given the chance to help someone they loved they have to pay the price for the loss. We've heard it from friends wondering why someone they cared about would not tell them they were hurting and needed so help from them. What kind of a relationship is that? Families and friends are supposed to be people you trust. Do you trust them or not? Or is it more a matter of you not trusting yourself because you believe you are beyond help? Maybe it is because you don't think they will try to help you? Maybe you are ashamed you need help at all?

Whatever your reason is, or the one you use to prevent you from asking the people in your life to help save your life, it is pure bullshit! Stop making excuses and start making meaningful choices that will also touch the people in your life.

The only question you should be asking is if you could be the real friend they need and walk beside them...or not. How do you know they won't if you never give them the chance?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Walk Beside Me

Celtic Woman 

A child begins with one single step

Then walks a million miles

And though these wings are not ready yet

I will try to fly

My eyes can't see

My arms can't reach

I need strength when I'm weak

I need your faith in me

Don't walk in front of me

I was not born to follow

Don't walk behind me

We were all born to lead

Don't walk without me

I might need you tomorrow

Walk right beside me

Be the real friend I need

If you break small stones, one at a time

You will move that whole mountain

If you climb each rainbow, it's gold that you'll find

And shelter from the rain

My ears can't hear

My heart can't beat

It needs strength when I'm weak

I need your faith in me

Don't walk in front of me

I was not born to follow

Don't walk behind me

We were all born to lead

Don't walk without me

I might need you tomorrow

Walk right beside me

Be the real friend I need

Don't walk in front of me

I was not born to follow

Don't walk behind me

We were all born to lead

Don't walk without me

I might need you tomorrow

Walk right beside me

Be the real friend I need

Walk right beside me

Be the real friend I need

Source: Musixmatch

Walk Beside Me lyrics © Syncope Music Publishing, Out Of Pocket Prod. Ltd. 

Won't you show me that you really care?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 4, 2021

If you have PTSD and you are having a hard time with believing in God, today can be a rough day for you. Most of the people I worked with over the years had a tattered relationship with Him. Some blamed Him for not preventing what happened. Others believed He did it to them. For others, they saw everything they had before "it" happened go away, including their families and friends.

A lot of people struggle with their faith just living normal lives and most of the time it is because they have the wrong idea about God. They have the wrong idea about how they are supposed to live their own lives, so they try to push what they believe onto others, when God did not give them the right to do it. God won't even mess with freewill, so thinking you can control anyone else or force them to believe what you do, is ridiculous. 

It is Easter Sunday for most of the Christian world. I am Greek Orthodox and our Easter is next month. For those celebrating today do you show Jesus that you really care or are you more into Easter bunnies and chocolate eggs? I find it odd that so many will celebrate His birth and His resurrection, without showing they really care about Him during the year. After all, while His ministry lasted 3 years and His life only lasted 33 He managed to change the world for people everyday. 

If you go to church, or attend virtually because you want to worship Him, that is wonderful. What do you do to show it the rest of the week? How we act toward others is part of true worship, but the other part is how we live our own lives and what we believe is possible?

We pray for many things during the year because we have faith it is possible to receive. When we pray for something the involves other people, that is harder to be granted because it involves the freewill of others to not only listen to what they are being asked to do, but have the will to actually do it.

Then there are things we ask for that involve what God can actually deliver to us without other humans. To me, those are the most powerful things because they can fill us up no matter how others treat us.

I struggled with needing to forgive people, and it was granted. I struggled with holding onto hope, and it was delivered. I prayed for God to deliver peace to my soul and it was granted. No matter what I asked for in my own life that could only come from Him, I got it.

That doesn't mean I'll never need to pray for those things again. It means that I have known what miracles still happen and believe they will happen again.

How do we show we really care about others? By remembering how Jesus showed He did. We do with with love, compassion, mercy, understanding and by knowing what we would need if we were the one in need.

What if Jesus asked, "Won't you show me you really care?" Today is a good day to answer that question. 

Show Him you care by rebuilding your relationship. Then by what you do for the sake of others. If you share your experiences with others, that will help them heal, it will also help you heal even more. You'll be amazed by how powerful it is to do something for someone else, especially when you know what it is like to be in need, but no one helped you for a long time...and then someone finally did!

Remember, it is you life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Handle with Care

Traveling Wilburys

(George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Jeff Lynne, Tom Petty and Roy Orbison)

Been beat up and battered 'round

Been sent up, and I've been shot down

You're the best thing that I've ever found

Handle me with care

Reputations changeable

Situations tolerable

Baby, you're adorable

Handle me with care

I'm so tired of being lonely

I still have some love to give

Won't you show me that you really care?

Everybody's got somebody to lean on

Put your body next to mine, and dream on

I've been fobbed off, and I've been fooled

I've been robbed and ridiculed

In daycare centers and night schools

Handle me with care

Been stuck in airports, terrorized

Sent to meetings, hypnotized

Overexposed, commercialized

Handle me with care

I'm so tired of being lonely

I still have some love to give

Won't you show me that you really care?

Everybody's got somebody to lean on

Put your body next to mine, and dream on

I've been uptight and made a mess

But I'll clean it up myself, I guess

Oh, the sweet smell of success

Handle me with care

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bob Dylan / George Harrison / Jeff Lynne / Roy K Orbison / Tom Petty

Handle with Care lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC

Videos should resume tomorrow if I ever get this desk put together. My back is killing me!