What is there when you turn the page?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 8, 2021

Yesterday we talked about how whatever you believe, will become your truth. If you believe you are stuck suffering, that is what your truth will be, until you decide that you do have the power to change what you want your life to become. You are writing the rest of your story from this moment on. What do you want this changer to be about?

Do you want to go from suffering to healing? Settle for being miserable instead of being happier? That is in your power. You are writing the rest of your life's story.

Today the feature video is Bob Seger Turn The Page. What is going on your next page? Are you going to just settle, or do what you need to so that you make your life better?

You cannot change a damn thing that happened to you. Whatever caused PTSD, is out of your control. Don't let it change what you write now. Use your  power and take control.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

On a long and lonesome highway

East of Omaha

You can listen to the engine

Moaning out his one-note song

You can think about the woman

Or the girl you knew the night before

But your thoughts will soon be wanderin'

The way they always do

When you're ridin' sixteen hours

And there's nothin' much to do

And you don't feel much like ridin'

You just wish the trip was through

Say, here I am

On the road again

There I am

Up on the stage

Here I go

Playin' the star again

There I go

Turn the page

Well, you walk into a restaurant

Strung out from the road

And you feel the eyes upon you

As you're shakin' off the cold

You pretend it doesn't bother you

But you just want to explode

Most times you can't hear 'em talk

Other times you can

Oh, the same old clichés

"Is that a woman or a man?"

And you always seem outnumbered

You don't dare make a stand

Say, here I am

On the road again

There I am

Up on the stage

Here I go

Playin' the star again

There I go

Turn the page

Out there in the spotlight

You're a million miles away

Every ounce of energy

You try to give away

As the sweat pours out your body

Like the music that you play

Later in the evening

As you lie awake in bed

With the echoes from the amplifiers

Ringin' in your head

You smoke the day's last cigarette

Rememberin' what she said

Say, here I am

On the road again

There I am

Up on the stage

Here I go

Just playin' the star again

There I go

Turn the page

Ah, here I am

On the road again

There I am

Up on the stage

Here I go

Playin' star again

There I go

There I go

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Bob Seger

Turn the Page lyrics © Gear Publishing, Gear Publishing Company Inc, Gear Publishing Co., Inc., 

Hideout Records/distribtrs Inc (gear Publishing Di, Hideout Records Dist. Inc., Gear Publishing Co. Inc.

I made this video a long time ago with this song for Vietnam veterans after a ride to the Memorial Wall in Washington DC.

I hope you believe you are in control

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 6, 2021 

(Resuming the normal videos today and putting up what I had planned yesterday.)

When you started driving, being behind the wheel instead of being a passenger was a little scary. In control of where the car went, how fast it went, and the safety of the person in the car with you was a lot to deal with. They may have been a little scared too, but they believed you'd do OK...and you did. The thing is, you believed in yourself, or you wouldn't have even tried.  

It is the same thing with healing. It is a little scary at first. You learn that you are in control of where you go, how fast you get there and how far you want to go. It helps to have someone with you, teaching you, encouraging you and helping you to learn.

If you believe you will never heal, then that is what your truth will be, because that is what you are willing to settle for. If you believe you as a survivor, you can be happier, be a better person and live a good life, then that is what your truth will eventually be, because you will seek to do it!

Today the feature video is Lena Horne, Believe In Yourself from the movie The Wiz. Just like in the movie the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy had the power within her all along, but she didn't know it. There was a time when you didn't know what power you had. Now, I hope you believe you are in control.

Yesterday I had to explain to someone what my job was. I told her that it is, as the slogan says, "Clearing the way to #TakeBackYourLife" from PTSD.

If you believe within your heart you'll know

That no one can change

The path that you must go

Believe what you feel

And know you're rights because

The time will come around

When you'll say it's yours

Believe that you can go home

Believe you can float on air

Yes, click your heels three times

If you believe

Oh, then you'll be there

That's why I want you to

Believe in yourself, yes

Right from the start

You got to believe, believe in the magic

Right there in your heart

Go ahead believe all these things

Not because I told you to, no

Believe in yourself, oohh yes

Believe in yourself

Believe in yourself, as I believe in you

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Charlie Smalls

Believe In Yourself lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp. 

UPDATE
Can you feel a brand new day?

Washington DC...the darkest day in our history

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 6, 2021

The video for today has been delayed due to the events in Washington DC. Armed protestors stormed the US Capitol. One took to the place of honor and shouted TRUMP WON.

Others took down the American flag and put up  the Trump flag.

This was incited by the president! This day will go down as the darkest day in our history because of what the president has done to this country!

 

UPDATE Assault on democracy: Sen. Josh Hawley has blood on his hands in Capitol coup attempt
Kansas City Star

REPUBLICANS KNEW TRUMP’S FRAUD CLAIMS WERE BOGUS
Just before the putsch began, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said sadly that we need to once again work from an agreed upon set of facts. Only now has he noticed that lying to the public on a daily basis poisons democracy.

“People have taken this too far,” House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy said on Fox News. Until he had to run for cover, McCarthy was fine with this sick stunt.

U.S. Rep. Andy Barr, a Republican from Kentucky, said in a statement, “Today’s events at the U.S. Capitol are tragic, outrageous, and devastating. They are wholly inconsistent with the values of our constitutional Republic.”

Yes, they are. But they are wholly consistent with Trump’s calls to overturn this election to address nonexistent fraud. And they are wholly predictable, given the willingness of most Republicans to repeat these baseless claims.
read more here

No fun in being normal

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 5, 2021

After you survived and PTSD started to take hold, did you ever wish you could be "normal" again? Why? Normal is a relative term and most people, no matter how hard they try, they are really not what they pretend to be. Plus, there is nothing "normal" about surviving what you survived. 

Today there are two featured videos. One is from the Lion King, with Pumbaa and Timon.

I wanted to see what the names meant and the best one came up on Wiki...

As with many characters in The Lion King, Pumbaa's name derives from the East African language Swahili. In Swahili, pumbaa (v.) means "to be foolish, silly, weakminded, careless, negligent." Timon is one of the few characters whose name has no meaning in Swahili; Timon is a historical Greek name, taken to mean "he who respects." Timon's name may derive from Shakespeare's tragedy Timon of Athens, another Shakespeare reference in a film which derives its plot from Hamlet. A more likely explanation is that he is named after the Greek philosopher Timon, a disciple of Pyrrho, the founder of the school of scepticism.

They were not "normal" but as with most movies, the heroes are usually much different than the others. They stopped trying to fit in and decided to live true to themselves.

When you were in school, "C" meant you were average...while a "B" meant you were better and "A" meant you excelled at something...so, not normal.

Every achievement came from people who were not what was considered normal. They were artist, writers, creators of something that had not been before, visionaries, inventors, but above all, never willing to settle for "normal" in anything..

Did you ever wonder why most movies about outcasts ended up being hits? Because most people are actually different...like in the movie Shrek. That is the second video after Shrek gets married and all the misfits have a huge party, singing I'm A Believer.

Embrace the fact that you are not normal so you can set higher standards of reaching out for happiness as a non-normal survivor. Besides, as these movies prove, it is a lot more fun not being normal because most people are more like you than  you think they are.

Hakuna Matata!

What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata!

Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!

Why, when he was a young warthog

When I was a young wart-hoooog!

Very nice!

Thanks!

He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal

He could clear the Savannah after every meal

I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick-skinned

And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind

And oh, the shame

(He was ashamed!)

Thought of changin' my name

(Oh, what's in a name?)

And I got downhearted

(How did you feel?)

Every time that I-

Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!

Oh... sorry

Hakuna Matata!

What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata!

Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

Yeah, sing it, kid!

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Elton John / Tim Rice

Hakuna Matata lyrics © Walt Disney Music Company

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and

#TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I’m a Believer

Smash Mouth

I thought love was only true in fairy tales

Meant for someone else, but not for me

Love was out to get me

That's the way it seemed

Disappointment haunted all my dreams

Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

I'm in love, I'm a believer

I couldn't leave her if I tried

I thought love was more or less a givin' thing

The more I gave, the less I got, oh yeah

What's the use in tryin'

All you get is pain

When I wanted sunshine, I got rain

And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

I'm in love, I'm a believer

I couldn't leave her if I tried

What's the use of trying

All you get is pain

When I wanted sunshine, I got rain

And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

I'm in love, I'm a believer

I couldn't leave her if I tried

Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

Now I'm a believer, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Now I'm a believer

Then I saw her face

Now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Neil Diamond

I’m a Believer lyrics © Emi Foray Music, Tallyrand Music Inc. 

Your masquerade isn't working

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 4, 2021

When I was a kid my Mom would take one look at me, see the neon sign on my forehead, and know something was wrong. She would ask, "what's the matter" or "what are you hiding" or "what did you do" and most of the time, she'd get the question right. No matter how hard I tried to hide it, I'd have to confess. Then there were times when she was totally wrong. She would blame me for something my brother did. No matter how hard I tried to prove my innocence, it didn't work. Sooner of later, my brother would fess up and tell the truth. Usually that happened after I had already been punished. Trust was eroded.

As a grown up, we try to hide stuff too. We try to hide what we are thinking, more than we try to hide what we're doing. When you have PTSD, you may want to believe you are hiding your pain but, the people in your life notice the difference. They end up judging you, believing you turned into a jerk, and then, they judge themselves.

Your masquerade isn't working. The time to come clean about what is going on is right now. Covering up your pain leaves them to assume all sorts of things, and none of them add up to the fact you survived something they will never fully understand, or even begin to, unless you stop the masquerade.

That is why today the featured video is George Benson, Masquerade.

It will be a lot easier on you if you open up and tell them what is going on, because sooner or later, someone will stand by your side, and help you heal so you can be yourself again.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

This Masquerade

George Benson

Are we really happy here

With this lonely game we play?

Looking for words to say

Searching but not finding understanding anywhere

We're lost in a masquerade

Both afraid to say we're just too far away

From being close together from the start

We tried to talk it over but the words got in the way

We're lost inside this lonely game we play

Thoughts of leaving disappear

Every time I see your eyes

No matter how hard I try

To understand the reasons that we carry on this way

We're lost in a masquerade

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Leon Russell

This Masquerade lyrics © Reservoir Media Management Inc 

George Benson Masquerade (Live)