Finding somebody to love starts with the mirror

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 15, 2021

And now back to the original programming! Yesterday I needed to let some stuff out to get it out of the way of positive thinking. Humans do need to do that and I'd be really lousy at my job if I told everyone else to honor their feelings, if I didn't. No one can give what they do not know.

That is why today the featured video is Queen Somebody To Love! The words are so true.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)

Lord, what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord!

Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Take a look in the mirror if you want to find somebody to love and start there! You cannot give what you do not have for yourself.

Find what you love about yourself and hug it. Find what you don't like about yourself and either change it, or just deal with it after you acknowledge it. For me, I had to learn to love myself with all my qualities and yes, all my flaws.

I do have a lot to give, because I learned how to give it to myself first. One of the biggest flaws I have is my temper. I learned to control it because I cannot get rid of it. 

My husband and I have been married for what feels like forever. When he knows I am angry, he always asks, "Do you love me?" I always reply with "yes" because he knows no matter how angry I am, or hurt, I love him. The next question is, "Do you like me?" That always leads to a sarcastic answer, "So far."

Love doesn't mean you are always approving of the other person, or you like everything about them. No one perfect and neither are you.

When you have PTSD, it makes it harder to find what is lovable about you but it is all still there. Take a look in the mirror and start loving yourself. Understand where your pain comes from and then do what you can to get that pain out of the way of positive stuff coming in.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Somebody To Love

George Michael and Queen

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)

Lord, what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord!

Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard (he works hard) every day of my life

I work 'til I ache in my bones

At the end (at the end of the day)

I take home my hard earned pay all on my own

I get down (down) on my knees (knees)

And I start to pray

'Til the tears run down from my eyes

Lord, somebody (somebody), ooh somebody

(Please) can anybody find me somebody to love?

Everyday (everyday) I try and I try and I try

But everybody wants to put me down

They say I'm going crazy

They say I got a lot of water in my brain

Ah, got no common sense

I got nobody left to believe in

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Oh, Lord

Ooh somebody, ooh somebody

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

(Can anybody find me someone to love)

Got no feel, I got no rhythm

I just keep losing my beat (you just keep losing and losing)

I'm OK, I'm alright (he's alright, he's alright)

I ain't gonna face no defeat (yeah yeah)

I just gotta get out of this prison cell

One day (someday) I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love love love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Somebody somebody somebody somebody

Somebody find me

Somebody find me somebody to love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

(Find me somebody to love)

Ooh

(Find me somebody to love)

Find me somebody, somebody (find me somebody to love) somebody, somebody to love

Find me, find me, find me, find me, find me

Ooh, somebody to love (Find me somebody to love)

Ooh (find me somebody to love)

Find me, find me, find me somebody to love (find me somebody to love)

Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love!

Somebody find me, find me love

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Freddie Mercury

Somebody To Love lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Struggling to forgive?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 14, 2021

I have been struggling with this one all day. I thought it would be good to do a message on forgiveness, especially after what happened last week in Washington when the Congress was attacked. After several attempts to do the video, I realized the Impeachment hearing yesterday troubled me more than I thought it did. 

As I listened to some people defend the president, pretend it didn't happen, or say it was time to move on because he would be out of office next week, I was sick to my stomach. It was almost as if they were saying it was no big deal at all.

I was about to change the message of the day so that I could do a positive one, until it made more sense to just do it from where I am emotionally right now. After all, there are a lot of people going through the same thing and all of us will have to reach the point where we are able to forgive those who betrayed the rest of us. Considering that 53% thought he should be impeached, there are a lot of us.

We are seeing many of the images of the people online. Their anger was on full display, but so was their pride. One man who was carrying the Confederate flag, was arrested along with his son. The FBI found him because he went back to work and was bragging about what he did. That is something that most of them did...because they were proud of themselves. Will they be so proud when the next picture taken of them is their mugshot? Will they be so proud when they lose everything they built in their lives up until they decided to violate the People's House? How are they feeling right now as they face charges tide to insurrection after the president came out and condemned what they did, after he encouraged them to do it?

What will they do now that he no longer has any use for them? Who will they believe when he is no longer able to lie to them and betray the trust they placed in him to the point where they were willing to pay any price to serve him? 

So yes, even they are struggling. One of them committed suicide.

They will be arrested and charged and we will begin to heal, but the damage they did will change the way we look at each other for a long time. 

If you are struggling with this, then, reach out to God for help to forgive them. I know that is what I will be doing because I do not want to allow what they did to hold any more place inside of me than it has already taken up.

O God Forgive Us

KING and COUNTRY 

We've prayed the prayer with no reply

Words float off into the night

Couldn't cut our doubt with the sharpest knife

Oh, oh God forgive us

Silence isn't comfortable

We want drive through peace and instant hope

Our shallow faith it has left us broke

Oh, oh God forgive us

Oh, oh God forgive us

Enslaved to our uncertainty

Help us with our unbelief

Oh God forgive us

Young and old, black and white

We're rich and poor, there's no divide

Hear the mighty, hear the powerless, singing

Oh, oh God forgive us

Oh, oh God forgive us

Forgive us

Yes, we have ignored You

So busy doing Your work that we forgot that this was for You

Arms wide to our homeless Savior

But arms crossed to our homeless neighbor

On bended knee, unite us all

Set us free

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hand up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hands up and open wide, open wide
With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hand up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hands up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hand up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky
Hands up and open wide, open wide

Oh, oh God forgive us

Oh, oh God forgive us

Enslaved to our uncertainty

Help us with our unbelief

Oh God forgive us

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mosley Seth David / Smallbone Joel David / Smallbone Luke James

O God Forgive Us lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Shankel Songs, Method To The Madness, Kilns Music, Word Music, Llc, Dayspring Music, Llc 

tell PTSD YOU DON'T OWN ME!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 13, 2021

There is so much anger in this country right now that I started to think a lot about the Salem Witchcraft Trials. That was about people being afraid of what was happening, and they were afraid because they couldn't understand it. The next move, was to find people to blame. Maybe that made them feel as if they have some power over it. It was all based on false accusations with no proof of anything.

Finally, the wrong person was blamed, which caused questions to be asked and answered, because it had just gone too far. Justice was  provided for those who had not been tried and put to death, but it did not change what happened, or bring them back and all indications are, the townspeople were forever changed.

The same thing happens when you have PTSD and people cannot understand it. If you cannot explain it to them, they fear it. Then they put you on a mock trial where they want to blame you for the changes they see. Aside from the anger inside of you that comes with having PTSD, you have that added anger built onto all of that.

The first thing I suggest you do is, honor your anger. Not by harming someone else but by writing it down. Get it our of your system. Then take that piece of paper, and burn it. If you don't burn it, then stick it in a shredder, or cut it up into millions of pieces with scissors.

Then think about ways for you to explain it to them. If they do, wonderful. If they don't, then don't give up on the people you know do care about you, and understand their fears. Keep trying.

And then, tell PTSD YOU DON'T OWN ME!

It doesn't get to be in your life and it sure as hell doesn't deserve to control your life. When I was a first wife, to my ex-husband, the tried to kill me and then stalked me for a long time. He didn't own me! He didn't deserve a place in my life. My current husband and I have been together for 38 years and married for 36. That only happened because I took my power back over my own life.

That is why the feature video today is from The First Wives Club, You Don't Own Me. Treat it like you would a bad relationship....tell PTSD YOU DON'T OWN ME!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

You don't own me

I'm not just one of your many toys

You don't own me

Don't say I can't go with other boys

Bette Midler and Goldie Hawn:

Bababababababaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Hmmm

Hmmm

And don't tell me what to do

And don't tell me what to say

And when i go out with you

Don't put me on display

Pretty good

I'm impressed!

You don't own me

Don't try to change me in any way

You don't own me

Don't tie me down,

Cuz I'll never stay

I don't tell you what to say

I don't tell you what to do

So just let me be myself

That's all I ask of you

Im young

And I love to be young

Im free

And I love to be free

To live my life the way that I want

To say and do whatever I please

I'm young

I'm young

And I love to be young

I'm free

I'm free

And I love to be free

To live my life the way that I want

To say and do whatever I please

No, no

You don't own me

No, no

You don't own me

No, no

You don't own me

Forever, young and free,

Darling you don't own me

You don't own me

You don't own me

Forever, young and free,

Darling you don't own me

You don't own me

You don't own me

Forever, young and free,

Darling you don't own me

You don't own me

You don't own me

Forever, young and free,

Darling you don't own me

You don't own me

You don't own me

Forever, young and free,

Darling you don't own me

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: John Madara / David White

You Don’t Own Me lyrics © Unichappell Music Inc.

Artists: Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton, Bette Midler

Album: The First Wives Club: Music From the Motion Picture... And Then Some

Released: 1996 

You've got a fast car racing up inside you

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 12, 2021

There is such power in music, that I wish I had all of them on a list. The problem is, that list would be one of the largest lists known. I don't have a play list, or a favorite group, or even a favorite song that I would now want to let go from my history.

Music has a power over emotions. I could be happy, then hear a song that brings back painful memories. No matter how fast I try to shut it off, it is too late. The bad memory has already been awakened.

On the flip side, I could be in a crappy mood, hear a song that means something to me, and start chair dancing

Queen's message is "Your wish will be granted. All your problems will disappear. Don't be a fool.
You haven't reached your peak.You've got a fast car racing up inside you. Your life is incomplete.
Hang on in there, hang on in there." 

As with all race cars, they are designed to go forward, not backwards. They need a trained, experienced driver as much as they need a well prepared pit crew. So do you! And knowing that, understand that is how you heal #PTSD! Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!

In 2006, I was wondering how I could do something different because no one wanted to read much anymore. Everyone was online and looking to be entertained. Then I saw a music video with lyrics. 

I thought it would have been better if they added in images. The next thing was, it would be even better if a message was linked to the music and images to change the way someone was thinking.

That was when I put together the first video for PTSD. Wounded Minds. It worked because the music mattered just as much as the message and the images.

"Hang On In There" by Queen is the feature video today! The music and the lyrics are spot on but the videos I found were lacking. This was not one of Queen's famous songs, but it is a powerful one. I added in a few more of their videos.

Don't let go

Don't lose your mystique

Wait a little longer

Tomorrow brings another feast

Don't let go

Don't lose your reputation

Thank God you're still alive, ha

You're still in one piece

Hang on in there, don't lose your appetite

Hang on in there, forget the danger signs

Pray for that magical moment (just stay there) and it will appear

(Don't fight for lost emotions)

Wait for the sunrise,

And everything will seem so clear

(Look straight ahead, look straight ahead)

Hang on in there (hang on in there)

Hang on in there (hang on in there)

Your wish will be granted

All your problems will disappear

Don't be a fool

You haven't reached your peak

You've got a fast car racing up inside you

Your life is incomplete

Hang on in there, hang on in there

Pray for that magical moment and it will appear

(Wait for the moment)

Wait for the sunrise - oh

Just wait and see and it will seem so clear

Ba dap bap ee bap bap ba ba bap bap de de de da

Hey

And let's go, let's go - o.k. now do the change now

Hang on

Yeah

Hang on in there, hang on in there

Yeah hang on in there, yeah

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Brian Harold May / Freddie Mercury / John Deacon / Roger Taylor

Hang On In There lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Don't Stop Me Now

Save Me

Don't stay still...walk on

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 11, 2021

Today I was feeling nostalgic after watching all the coverage of what happened in Washington DC. When the Capitol was attacked, my Massachusetts blue blood started boiling. I needed to cool off and searched for videos to remind me how this country started. That was when I landed on the video from the musical 1776, The Egg. (see below)

After that and several more, somehow I ended up in a rabbit hole that brought me to videos on 9 11. Thinking that it happened 20 years ago, yet the emotions flooded me with the same intensity as they did during those dark days.

The video from U2 Walk On, gave me hope that we shall rise up and walk on after this attack too!

When traumatic events come into our lives, we have a time to deal with the shock and try to make sense of it. We go through all the questions and emotional roller coaster ride, resting when we need it and crying when we have to. But then, we decide to stay still, or walk on.

If we choose to stay still, then we do not recover the power we have over our own lives. If we choose to walk on, then we have a chance for our lives to get better, heal our wounds as our scars fade away and rise stronger than we thought we could be.

Much like the founding fathers!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Walk On

U2

And love is not the easy thing

The only baggage that you can bring...

And love is not the easy thing

The only baggage you can bring

Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart

And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off

And if your glass heart should crack

And for a second you turn back

Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on

What you got they can't steal it

No, they can't even feel it

Walk on, walk on

Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been

A place that has to be believed to be seen

You could have flown away

A singing bird in an open cage

Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on

What you've got they can't deny it

Can't sell it, or buy it

Walk on, walk on

Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches

And your heart it breaks

And you can only take so much

Walk on

walk on

Home, hard to know what it is if you've never had one

Home, I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home

That's where the hurt is

And I know it aches

And your heart it breaks

And you can only take so much

Walk on

Leave it behind

You've got to leave it behind

All that you fashion

All that you make

All that you build

All that you break

All that you measure

All that you steal

All this you feel

All that you reason

All that you care (It's only time)

And I'll never fill up all my mind

All that you sense

All that you speak

All you dress up

And all that you scheme

All you create

All that you wreck

All that you hate

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Paul David Hewson / Adam Clayton / David Evans / Laurence Mullenv Walk On lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management 

Just for laughs, the is the video that put me into the rabbit hole!