PTSD Patrol

Saturday, January 16, 2021

the person you need to love first

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 16, 2021

Yesterday we were talking about how if you want to have somebody to love, you need to start with yourself. Too many relationships fall apart. Even without PTSD, successful relationships require a lot of work. They also require you to know what love really is first. The only way to know that, is to start with yourself.

Over the years, I've talked to a lot of people who are lonely and they want someone in their life again. The problem was, they just kept looking before they ever started working on what the problem was....THEM! Veterans would complain they were on their 4th, 5th or 6th marriage but none of their wives ever understood them. Wow, if you're thinking head smack moment, it was.

How could they expect anyone to understand them if they didn't understand themselves? The truth is, none of them did what they needed to do to actually be ready for a relationship with anyone if they didn't have one with themselves.

If you do not work on healing, then you are dooming the next relationship. You won't have what they need you to give them. The rush of a new beginning will feel wonderful until you are no longer able to hide what you brought as baggage moving into their life.

"All healing is first a healing of the heart." - Carl Townsend

find more quotes here

Why keep looking for love when the person you need to love first...is you?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I spent a lifetime lookin' for you

Single bars and good time lovers were never true

Playing a fools game, hopin' to win

Tellin' those sweet lies and losin' again

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Hoping to find a friend and lover

I'll bless the day I discover

Another heart lookin' for love

I was alone then, no love in sight

I did everything I could to get me through the night

I don't know where it started or where it might end

I turned to a stranger just like a friend

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Hoping to find a friend and lover

I'll bless the day I discover

Another heart lookin' for love

You came knockin' on my heart's door

You're everything I've been looking for

No more lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Now that I found a friend and lover

God bless the day I discover

You, oh you, lookin' for love

Lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Now that I found a friend and lover

God bless the day I discover

You, oh you, lookin' for love

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bob Morrison / Patti Ryan / Wanda Mallette

Lookin' For Love lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Bluewater Music Corp.

Gloria

You're always on the run now

Runnin' after somebody

You've gotta get him somehow

I think you've got to slow down

Before you start to blow it

I think you're headin' for a breakdown

So be careful not to show it

You really don't remember

Was it somethin' that he said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

Don't you think you're fallin'?

If everybody wants you

Why isn't anybody callin'?

You don't have to answer

Leave 'em hangin' on the line, ohh

Calling Gloria

Gloria

(Gloria)

I think they got your number

(Gloria)

I think they got the alias

(Gloria)

That you've been livin' under

(Gloria)

But you really don't remember

Was it something that they said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

How's it gonna go down?

Will you meet him on the main line?

Or will you catch him on the rebound?

Will you marry for the money?

Take a lover in the afternoon?

Feel your innocence slippin' away

Don't believe it's comin' back soon

And you really don't remember

Was it somethin' that he said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

Don't you think you're fallin'?

If everybody wants you

Why isn't anybody callin'?

You don't have to answer

Leave them hangin' on the line, ohh

Calling Gloria

Gloria

(Gloria)

I think they got your number

(Gloria)

I think they got the alias

(Gloria)

That you've been livin' under

(Gloria)

But you really don't remember

Was it something that they said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Giancarlo Bigazzi Eng. Lyrics: Trevor Veitch / Orig. Lyrics Music: Umberto Tozzi

Gloria lyrics © Melodi Casa Ed. Srl., Melodi Casa Editrice Srl

Friday, January 15, 2021

Finding somebody to love starts with the mirror

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 15, 2021

And now back to the original programming! Yesterday I needed to let some stuff out to get it out of the way of positive thinking. Humans do need to do that and I'd be really lousy at my job if I told everyone else to honor their feelings, if I didn't. No one can give what they do not know.

That is why today the featured video is Queen Somebody To Love! The words are so true.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)

Lord, what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord!

Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Take a look in the mirror if you want to find somebody to love and start there! You cannot give what you do not have for yourself.

Find what you love about yourself and hug it. Find what you don't like about yourself and either change it, or just deal with it after you acknowledge it. For me, I had to learn to love myself with all my qualities and yes, all my flaws.

I do have a lot to give, because I learned how to give it to myself first. One of the biggest flaws I have is my temper. I learned to control it because I cannot get rid of it.

My husband and I have been married for what feels like forever. When he knows I am angry, he always asks, "Do you love me?" I always reply with "yes" because he knows no matter how angry I am, or hurt, I love him. The next question is, "Do you like me?" That always leads to a sarcastic answer, "So far."

Love doesn't mean you are always approving of the other person, or you like everything about them. No one perfect and neither are you.

When you have PTSD, it makes it harder to find what is lovable about you but it is all still there. Take a look in the mirror and start loving yourself. Understand where your pain comes from and then do what you can to get that pain out of the way of positive stuff coming in.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Somebody To Love

George Michael and Queen

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)

Lord, what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord!

Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard (he works hard) every day of my life

I work 'til I ache in my bones

At the end (at the end of the day)

I take home my hard earned pay all on my own

I get down (down) on my knees (knees)

And I start to pray

'Til the tears run down from my eyes

Lord, somebody (somebody), ooh somebody

(Please) can anybody find me somebody to love?

Everyday (everyday) I try and I try and I try

But everybody wants to put me down

They say I'm going crazy

They say I got a lot of water in my brain

Ah, got no common sense

I got nobody left to believe in

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Oh, Lord

Ooh somebody, ooh somebody

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

(Can anybody find me someone to love)

Got no feel, I got no rhythm

I just keep losing my beat (you just keep losing and losing)

I'm OK, I'm alright (he's alright, he's alright)

I ain't gonna face no defeat (yeah yeah)

I just gotta get out of this prison cell

One day (someday) I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love love love

Find me somebody to love

Somebody somebody somebody somebody

Somebody find me

Somebody find me somebody to love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

(Find me somebody to love)

Ooh

(Find me somebody to love)

Find me somebody, somebody (find me somebody to love) somebody, somebody to love

Find me, find me, find me, find me, find me

Ooh, somebody to love (Find me somebody to love)

Ooh (find me somebody to love)

Find me, find me, find me somebody to love (find me somebody to love)

Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love!

Somebody find me, find me love

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Freddie Mercury

Somebody To Love lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Struggling to forgive?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 14, 2021

I have been struggling with this one all day. I thought it would be good to do a message on forgiveness, especially after what happened last week in Washington when the Congress was attacked. After several attempts to do the video, I realized the Impeachment hearing yesterday troubled me more than I thought it did.

As I listened to some people defend the president, pretend it didn't happen, or say it was time to move on because he would be out of office next week, I was sick to my stomach. It was almost as if they were saying it was no big deal at all.

I was about to change the message of the day so that I could do a positive one, until it made more sense to just do it from where I am emotionally right now. After all, there are a lot of people going through the same thing and all of us will have to reach the point where we are able to forgive those who betrayed the rest of us. Considering that 53% thought he should be impeached, there are a lot of us.

We are seeing many of the images of the people online. Their anger was on full display, but so was their pride. One man who was carrying the Confederate flag, was arrested along with his son. The FBI found him because he went back to work and was bragging about what he did. That is something that most of them did...because they were proud of themselves. Will they be so proud when the next picture taken of them is their mugshot? Will they be so proud when they lose everything they built in their lives up until they decided to violate the People's House? How are they feeling right now as they face charges tide to insurrection after the president came out and condemned what they did, after he encouraged them to do it?

What will they do now that he no longer has any use for them? Who will they believe when he is no longer able to lie to them and betray the trust they placed in him to the point where they were willing to pay any price to serve him?

So yes, even they are struggling. One of them committed suicide.

They will be arrested and charged and we will begin to heal, but the damage they did will change the way we look at each other for a long time.

If you are struggling with this, then, reach out to God for help to forgive them. I know that is what I will be doing because I do not want to allow what they did to hold any more place inside of me than it has already taken up.

O God Forgive Us

KING and COUNTRY

We've prayed the prayer with no reply

Words float off into the night

Couldn't cut our doubt with the sharpest knife

Oh, oh God forgive us

Silence isn't comfortable

We want drive through peace and instant hope

Our shallow faith it has left us broke

Oh, oh God forgive us

Enslaved to our uncertainty

Help us with our unbelief

Oh God forgive us

Young and old, black and white

We're rich and poor, there's no divide

Hear the mighty, hear the powerless, singing

Oh, oh God forgive us

Forgive us

Yes, we have ignored You

So busy doing Your work that we forgot that this was for You

Arms wide to our homeless Savior

But arms crossed to our homeless neighbor

On bended knee, unite us all

Set us free