stop lying and start healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January, 20, 2021

Dealing with PTSD is a lot like current events. "We study the past to understand the present; we understand the present to guide the future." William Lund.

Today we saw the end of something horrible and beginning of something hopeful. The horrible is reminder of what happened a few weeks ago at the same Capitol where the new President replaced the old one on those same steps, in that same building.

The 46th President of the United States of America Joseph R. Biden Jr.

Many people realized they had been lied to and that is what caused them to attack the People's House. Families are wondering what happened to people they love that changed them. They are turning them into the FBI, and so are co-workers, neighbors, and others who were there.

First step in healing is to understand why people believe lies. The first reason is they believe the liar and it was something they wanted to hear. If you regret it, then admit it, apologize to those you hurt, and it is up to them to forgive you or not. You won't know what is possible until you attempt to restore the relationship. If they hurt you, then forgive them.

Smiling Faces

The Temptations 

Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend.

Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within.

Smiling faces, Smiling Faces, Sometimes they don't tell the truth.

Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof.

The truth is in the eye 'cause the eyes don't lie, amen.

Remember, a smile is just a frown turned upside down my friend.

So, hear me when I'm saying

Smiling faces, Smiling Faces, Sometimes they don't tell the truth.

Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof.

Beware. Beware of the handshake that hides the snake, 

I'm tellin' you beware of the pat on the back it just might hold you back.

Jealousy, (Jealousy) misery, (misery) envy.

I tell you you can't see behind

Smiling faces, Smiling Faces, Sometimes they don't tell the truth.

Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof.

Your enemy won't do you no harm, 'cause you'll know where he's comin' from;

don't let the handshake and the smile fool ya.

Take my advice I'm only tryin' to school ya.

Smiling faces, Smiling Faces, Sometimes they don't tell the truth.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Barrett Strong / Norman Whitfield

Smiling Faces Sometimes lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

If you are trying to heal PTSD, some people may have lied to you too. Surviving started out as something good, but it went downhill because of lies. Someone may have said something that wasn't true and you believed them. Maybe you told the lies to yourself? Lies, like you are stuck, life isn't going to get any better, there is no hope or you cannot heal. It is time to tell the truth to those who lied to you, and tell yourself the truth too.

The truth is, you can heal step by step, if you keep trying and are willing to do the work. That is why the other featured video today is the theme from Rocky III. He didn't give up. Think about him running up all those steps and reached the top with is victory dance in the first one. That is what healing can feel like for you!

And then imagine what your life can be like by the time you understand you are a survivor!

Eye Of The Tiger

Survivor 

Rising up, back on the street

Did my time, took my chances

Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet

Just a man and his will to survive

So many times it happens too fast

You change your passion for glory

Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past

You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the fight

Rising up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor

Stalks his prey in the night

And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat

Hanging tough, staying hungry

They stack the odds 'til we take to the street

For the kill with the skill to survive

It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the fight

Rising up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor

Stalks his prey in the night

And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

Rising up straight to the top

Had the guts, got the glory

Went the distance, now I'm not going to stop

Just a man and his will to survive

It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the fight

Rising up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor

Stalks his prey in the night

And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

The eye of the tiger

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Peterik James M / Sullivan Frank Michael

Eye of the Tiger lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Sony/atv Melody, Easy Action Music 

There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

January 19, 2020

There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. A lot of people are fine being alone. I don't know anyone who is OK with being lonely. That is why the featured video today is White Snake Here I Go Again.

When I lived in Florida, I was involved with a lot of groups. I did a lot for them, doing videos to give them publicity, supporting their events and talking with individual members to help them with their personal problems. The truth is, I never felt like I belonged. I was lonely in huge groups and it sucked.

The thing is, it made me feel like the only way to fit in was to sacrifice what I thought, what I believed and who I was. That is something I have never been willing to do...and never will.

I am involved in a lot of groups on Facebook and it turns out, a lot of people felt the same way. They felt as if they didn't belong anywhere, until they found groups of like minded people, where they could share their thoughts and be supported by others. Most of the time, the new comers to the groups, including me, felt grateful they found a place for them.

If you are struggling with PTSD, then you need to do the same. Find groups where you do feel welcome, just as you are. A place where the people there do what you to change, but only changing from fighting on your own to letting them help you fight to be happier. They are out there.

Groups where they will support you, help you, guide you and then one day, you can do the same for them. Places where the only goal is to help healing take over your life, as you want to live it.

I know what it is like to be alone and it is OK but no one should ever feel lonely when there are so many others out there. After all, that is the reason why I started working on PTSD almost 40 years ago...knowing you are not alone is the greatest gift you can give to yourself!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I don't know where I'm goin'

But I sure know where I've been

Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday

An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time

Here I go again, here I go again

Tho' I keep searching for an answer

I never seem to find what I'm looking for

Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on

'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams

Here I go again on my own

Goin' down the only road I've ever known

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time

Just another heart in need of rescue

Waiting on love's sweet charity

An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days

'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams

And here I go again on my own

Goin' down the only road I've ever known

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time

But here I go again, here I go again,

Here I go again, here I go

'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams

Here I go again on my own

Goin' down the only road I've ever known

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time

Here I go again on my own

Goin' down the only road I've ever known

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams

Here I go again on my own

Goin' down the only road I've ever known

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: David Coverdale / Bernie Marsden

Here I Go Again lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

this is a reminder of what it feels like to be happy

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 18, 2021

Things suck right now. The whole country has gone bonkers. It makes me angry to turn on the TV, so much so I don't know if I want to throw something at it, unplug it or what...I just know I needed a break.

I put on the oldies station and there it was. We're not just talking chair dancing song! It was full blown open the windows, crank up the music and dance. It isn't summer here in New Hampshire, so I settled for dancing throughout the house and it felt good!

We all need a break from the pandemic and the chaos in every single state. We need a break from feeling bad, helpless and depressed. Changes are coming but the horrors that brought us to this point were like days from hell.

So, this is a reminder of what it feels like to be happy. A few years ago, Scott Simon was talking about what happened in the hospital one night....

Why 'Dancing In The Street' Gets The People Going?
NPR
Scott Simon

......And then, everyone in line — including the elderly couple in front of me, who I would learn were there because their granddaughter had been clipped by a car, and the teenage barista standing behind the counter — seemed to light up at the same time. We all sang out: "They're dancing in Chicago."

Then we laughed, smiled and began to talk to each other about why we were there, how long it had been, and what we remembered and loved about this song. We were dancing in Chicago.

"Dancing in the Street" is a song that stirs our souls. Great anthems do. But no less than the great Martha Reeves, who gave it such a powerful voice, says it was first and last a dance song.

"The song is about love and feeling free enough to dance in the street," she told me in a conversation recorded for Weekend Edition Saturday. "You don't have to worry about cars hitting you. You don't have to worry about policemen coming and telling you you can't dance in the street."
read the rest here

We have National Guards deployed all over the country, blocking off streets and standing guard over the state houses. Security is on high alert for domestic terrorists in Washington DC because of what happened when the Capitol was attacked because of an election. A raging pandemic and people refusing to wear masks or actually pay attention to the fact there is a raging pandemic. It all sucks! 

But, consider when this song came out it was1964! Protests were happening all over the country against the Vietnam War and yes, a very terrible time, but because of that, we ended up with songs like this.

Calling out around the world

Are you ready for a brand new beat

Summer's here and the time is right

For dancing in the street

They're dancing in Chicago

Down in New Orleans

Up in New York City

All we need is music, sweet music

There'll be music everywhere

There'll be swinging swaying records playing

Dancing in the street

Oh it doesn't matter what you wear

Just as long as you are there

So come on every guy grab a girl

Everywhere around the world

They'll be dancing

They're dancing in the street

It's just an invitation across the nation

A chance for folks to meet

There'll be laughing, singing, music swinging

Dancing in the street

Philadelphia, PA

Baltimore and D.C. now

Can't forget the Motor City

All we need is music, sweet music

There'll be music everywhere

There'll be swinging, swaying, records playing

Dancing in the street

Oh it doesn't matter what you wear

Just as long as you are there

So come on ev'ry guy grab a girl

Ev'rywhere around the world

Dancing

They're dancing in the street

Way down in L.A.

Every day

(Dancing in the street)

Across the ocean blue, me and you

We're dancing in the street

(Dancing in the street)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Stanley Lebowsky / John Lehmann

Dancing In The Street (Stereo) lyrics © Stone Agate Music, Nmg Music, Mgiii Music, Fcg Music, Jobete Music Co Inc 

And for the rest of us old people who grew up with the original

When things suck, people take action to change it. After all, that is why we have all the treatment available for trauma survivors! Things sucked over 40 years ago, and people decided to make it better for everyone. Research on PTSD started because Vietnam veterans came home and fought for it. They are the reason we ended up with what we have and others who still fight for more research are the reason things will keep getting better!

For us, not being willing to settle for suffering, our lives got better too!

So, take a break, and do some dancing to remind you of better days for all of us.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

finding yourself in a field of broken glass

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 17, 2021

When you have PTSD it is like finding yourself in a field of broken glass. It hurts, but you think if you don't move, you won't inflict more pain than you already have. That is true as long as nothing else happens in your life, you never talk to anyone, see anyone else, close your ears and shut your eyes. But sooner or later, you will not be able to stand up. You'll fall down and the pain hits your whole body.

You know how far you are into the field and think you can figure out how far it is to get out of it, but you're not sure. If you go back, you inflict more pain, reach the beginning of the field and then have to go through all of it all over again. 

If you got right or left, Lord only knows where that choice will lead you to.

If you go forward, you know there will be more pain. It will not be easy to get through that field but the further you go, there is less broken glass under your feet.

You will come a place you can heal your cuts in a safer place and open your life to all kinds of possibilities.

And that is what it is like to make the choice to start the journey to heal PTSD!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Walking on, walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

You were the sweetest thing that I ever knew

But I don't care for sugar honey if I can't have you

Since you've abandoned me

My whole life has crashed

Won't you pick the pieces up

'Cause it feels just like I'm walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

The sun's still shining in the big blue sky

But it don't mean nothing to me

O-o-oh let the rain come down

Let the wind blow through me

I'm living in an empty room

With all the windows smashed

And I've got so little left to lose

That it feels just like I'm walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

And if you're trying to cut me down

You know that I might bleed

'Cause if you're trying to cut me down

I know that you'll succeed

And if you want to hurt me

There's nothing left to fear

'Cause if you want to hurt me

You do it really well my dear

Now everyone of us was made to suffer

Everyone of us is made to weep

We've been hurting one another

Now the pain has cut too deep

So take me from the wreckage

Save me from the blast

Lift me up and take me back

Don't let me keep on walking (don't let me keep on walking)

I kept on walking on

Keep on walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Annie Lennox

Walking on Broken Glass lyrics © La Lennoxa Music Co. Ltd., Universal Music Mgb Songs Obo La Lennoxa Ltd., Lennoxa Music Co. Ltd., La Web results 

And then you'll be walking on sunshine!

I used to think maybe you loved me

Now, baby, I'm sure

And I just can't wait 'til the day

When you knock on my door

Now every time I go for the mailbox

Gotta hold myself down

'Cause I just can't wait 'til you write me

You're coming around

Now I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

And it's starting to feel good, hey

All right now

And it's starting to feel good

I used to think maybe you loved me

Now I know that it's true

And I don't wanna spend my whole life

Just a waiting for you

Now I don't want you back for the weekend

Not back for a day, no, no, no

I said, baby, I just want you back

And I want you to stay

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

And it's starting to feel good, hey

All right now

And it's starting to feel good

Yeah, oh, yeah

And it's starting to feel good

Walking on sunshine

Walking on sunshine

I feel alive, I feel a love

I feel a love that's really real

I feel alive, I feel a love

I feel a love that's really real

I'm on sunshine, baby

I'm on sunshine, baby

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

And it's starting to feel good, hey

All right now

And it's starting to feel good

I say it, I say it, I say it again, now

And it's starting to feel good

Oh, yeah

And it's starting to feel good

Starting to feel good

I say it, I say it, I say it again, now

And it's starting to feel good

And it's starting to feel good

Now tell me, tell me tell me again now

And it's starting to feel good

Oh, yeah

And it's starting to feel good

Starting to feel good

Starting to feel good

Now it's starting to feel good

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Kimberley Rew

Walking on Sunshine lyrics © Cooper Rew, Kyboside Ltd., Emi Music Publishing France, Wixen Music Publishing Obo Kyboside Music Ltd, Kyboside Music Ltd, Kyboside Ltd 

Just the music on this one so that you can make your own video in your mind by thinking of what would make you feel like you're walking on sunshine too!

the person you need to love first

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 16, 2021

Yesterday we were talking about how if you want to have somebody to love, you need to start with yourself. Too many relationships fall apart. Even without PTSD, successful relationships require a lot of work. They also require you to know what love really is first. The only way to know that, is to start with yourself.

Over the years, I've talked to a lot of people who are lonely and they want someone in their life again. The problem was, they just kept looking before they ever started working on what the problem was....THEM! Veterans would complain they were on their 4th, 5th or 6th marriage but none of their wives ever understood them. Wow, if you're thinking head smack moment, it was.

How could they expect anyone to understand them if they didn't understand themselves? The truth is, none of them did what they needed to do to actually be ready for a relationship with anyone if they didn't have one with themselves.

If you do not work on healing, then you are dooming the next relationship. You won't have what they need you to give them. The rush of a new beginning will feel wonderful until you are no longer able to hide what you brought as baggage moving into their life.

"All healing is first a healing of the heart." - Carl Townsend

find more quotes here 

Why keep looking for love when the person you need to love first...is you?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I spent a lifetime lookin' for you

Single bars and good time lovers were never true

Playing a fools game, hopin' to win

Tellin' those sweet lies and losin' again

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Hoping to find a friend and lover

I'll bless the day I discover

Another heart lookin' for love

I was alone then, no love in sight

I did everything I could to get me through the night

I don't know where it started or where it might end

I turned to a stranger just like a friend

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Hoping to find a friend and lover

I'll bless the day I discover

Another heart lookin' for love

You came knockin' on my heart's door

You're everything I've been looking for

No more lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Now that I found a friend and lover

God bless the day I discover

You, oh you, lookin' for love

Lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Now that I found a friend and lover

God bless the day I discover

You, oh you, lookin' for love

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bob Morrison / Patti Ryan / Wanda Mallette

Lookin' For Love lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Bluewater Music Corp. 

Gloria

You're always on the run now

Runnin' after somebody

You've gotta get him somehow

I think you've got to slow down

Before you start to blow it

I think you're headin' for a breakdown

So be careful not to show it

You really don't remember

Was it somethin' that he said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

Don't you think you're fallin'?

If everybody wants you

Why isn't anybody callin'?

You don't have to answer

Leave 'em hangin' on the line, ohh

Calling Gloria

Gloria

(Gloria)

I think they got your number

(Gloria)

I think they got the alias

(Gloria)

That you've been livin' under

(Gloria)

But you really don't remember

Was it something that they said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

How's it gonna go down?

Will you meet him on the main line?

Or will you catch him on the rebound?

Will you marry for the money?

Take a lover in the afternoon?

Feel your innocence slippin' away

Don't believe it's comin' back soon

And you really don't remember

Was it somethin' that he said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

Don't you think you're fallin'?

If everybody wants you

Why isn't anybody callin'?

You don't have to answer

Leave them hangin' on the line, ohh

Calling Gloria

Gloria

(Gloria)

I think they got your number

(Gloria)

I think they got the alias

(Gloria)

That you've been livin' under

(Gloria)

But you really don't remember

Was it something that they said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

Gloria

Gloria

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Giancarlo Bigazzi Eng. Lyrics: Trevor Veitch / Orig. Lyrics Music: Umberto Tozzi

Gloria lyrics © Melodi Casa Ed. Srl., Melodi Casa Editrice Srl