Want to meet a champion?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 22, 2021

Today the featured video is Queen, We Are The Champions. Want to meet a champion? Then look in the mirror. If you survived whatever caused PTSD in you, then you are a champion. You defeated what tried to kill you and now it is time to defeat what is trying to destroy you now.

In any conflict, the enemy is not totally obliterated. With PTSD your enemy is confusion and doubt. You get confused about what it is doing to you and you doubt there is anything you can do to keep fighting for a better life.

You may be tired of feeling bad things, so you decide to get numb enough to stop feeling. You may try to get drunk enough to do that but then you regret it in the morning. If you think that only bad feelings are in your future, then you won't try to push them out of your life so you can feel good feelings again.

Living that way sucks! It is like taking that bandage on your soul and ripping it off over and over again.

It is so much better to learn how to defeat the enemy inside of you to be able to know what it feels like to be "you" again.

Remember, it is you life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I haven't felt much like a champion the last few days. My ego has been taking a beating. I've done a lot of things that no one will ever know about, and I was feeling really depressed about that until last night. It finally dawned on me that God does a lot of things too no one will ever know about.

The thing is, God tries to get through to people but will not try to control anyone. That is why He gave all of us freewill. How many times has He tired to get people to listen to Him, but they didn't? With so many problems in the world, we always ask why God isn't taking care of it for us. Did we ever wonder why people are not listening to Him about what they can do to fix it?

God tries to get through to me and I know I'm listening if I have peace in my soul. I know I'm only doing what I want if my gut is churning. A lot of times, we do good things but people take advantage of it and we end up regretting it. Don't! You have no power over what they do with what you do for them. The only thing you can do is do it because you know it is the right thing to do and you are being true to yourself. That is another way to be a champion too.

We Are The Champions

Queen

I've paid my dues

Time after time

I've done my sentence

But committed no crime

And bad mistakes

I've made a few

I've had my share of sand

Kicked in my face

But I've come through

And we mean to go on and on and on and on

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the World

I've taken my bows

And my curtain calls

You brought me fame and fortune

And everything that goes with it

I thank you all

But it's been no bed of roses

No pleasure cruise

I consider it a challenge before

The human race

And I ain't gonna lose

And we mean to go on and on and on and on

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the World

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the World

Source: Musixmatch

We Are the Champions lyrics © Queen Music Limited 

PTSD: the wounds that were carried back home to you

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 21, 2021

Today I am going to let one of the first videos I did on PTSD replace the daily video from me. Wounded Minds was a labor of love back in 2006. It had over 10,000 views but after a couple of years, I moved the videos from YouTube. (Big mistake) Anyway, my confidence was taking beating lately because of  all the reports about people suffering instead of healing. Whenever I get this way, I usually go through old emails to remind me of why I do this work.

One of the old emails I came across was from the ex-wife of a Vietnam veteran. She never stopped loving him but they didn't know what PTSD was before they ended a long marriage. Her kids were suffering, she was suffering and so was the veteran. She said she wished she knew what was in this video before they decided to get divorced. 

I told her it was not too late to still have a relationship with him, or at least try to reconnect. She promised to learn more and then, try to talk to him so he would get help to heal. This is why I do this work. And this is why I will never stop doing it.

Today the featured videos are about relationships ending, but love still existing. The Carpenters, Hurting Each Other and Rose Royce Wishing On A Star.

If you still care about someone you had to walk away from, because you did not know what you needed to know, I hope this comforts you. Keep in mind that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time, and now you know more than you did back then. It is up to you what you do with that knowledge. If nothing else, I hope it helps you heal your heart by knowing it really didn't have anything to do with you, but the wounds that were carried back home to you.

In 2006 I created this video on Wounded Minds. Long before PTSD was in the news, families like mine were doing the best we could to make our veterans lives better. Sometimes we failed but after three decades, I'm still married. I still have no idea how other families do it when they know hardly nothing about PTSD. I knew almost everything and there were times when it was almost impossible to find hope. The key is to learn as much as you can, love as an active partner in their healing and find what works to make your lives better! This is from my old website, NamGuardianAngel. Go to Combat PTSD Wounded Times to learn more.

Hurting Each Other

The Carpenters 

No one in the world

Ever had a love as sweet as my love

For nowhere in the world

Could there be a boy as true as you, love

All my love I give gladly to you

All your love you give gladly to me

Tell me why then, oh why should it be that

We go on hurting each other

We go on hurting each other

Making each other cry

Hurting each other

Without ever knowing why

Closer than the leaves

On a weeping willow, baby, we are

Closer dear are we

Than the simple letters A and B are

All my life I could love only you

All your life you could love only me

Tell me why, then?

Oh why should it be that

We go on hurting each other

We go on hurting each other

Making each other cry

Hurting each other

Without ever knowing why

Can't we stop hurting each other

Gotta stop hurting each other

Making each other cry

Breaking each other's heart

Tearing each other apart

Can't we stop hurting each other

Gotta stop hurting each other

Making each other cry

Breaking each other's heart

Tearing each other apart

Can't we stop hurting each other

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Udell Peter David / Geld Gary

Hurting Each Other lyrics © Bibo Music Publishing, Inc. 

I'm Wishing on a Star

Rose Royce 

I'm wishing on a star

To follow where you are

I'm wishing on a dream

To follow what it means

I'm wishing on a star

To follow where you are

I'm wishing on a dream

To follow what it means

And I'm wishing on the rainbows that I've seen

I'm wishing on the people who really dream

And I'm wishing on tomorrow, praying it'll come

And I'm wishing on all the loving we've ever done

No, I never thought I'd see

A time when you would be

So far away from home

So far away from me

Just think of all the moments that we'd spend

I just can't let you go, for me you were meant

And I didn't mean to hurt you, but I know

That in the game of love you reap what you sow

I feel it's time we should make up, baby

I feel it's time for us to get back together

And make the best of things, oh baby

When we're together, whether or never

I feel it's time we should make up, baby

I feel it's time for us to get back together

And make the best of things, oh baby

When we're together, whether or never, oh

I'm wishing on a star

To follow where you are

I'm wishing on a dream

To follow what it means

And I'm wishing on the rainbows that I've seen

I'm wishing on the people who've ever been

And I'm hoping on all the days to come and days to go

I'm hoping on days of loving you so

I'm wishing on a star

To follow where you are

I'm wishing on a star, oh, oh

And I'm wishing on all the rainbows that I see

I'm wishing on a star

To follow where you are

I'm wishing on a dream, baby

And I'm following all the rainbows that I see

Source: Musixmatch

Wishing on a Star lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., May Twelfth Music 

let the dreamers wake the nation

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

March 13, 2021

Today I picked a fun video, Carley Simon Let The River Run. If you saw the movie Working Girl, then you know it is a story about an average woman with big dreams. Tess McGill (Melanie Griffith) was really smart but didn't have many chances to prove it and change her life...until her boss broke her leg. Even her friends thought she was nuts to try it, but she did and in the end she won.

The song is about dreamers. People dreaming about making something better too. Making their lives different than they are because they believe they can be. What do you believe? Do you believe your life can be different than it is? Do you have chances to prove you are right?

When you have a dream that's great. It sucks if you do not think you have a chance in hell of making it happen. If you have PTSD, it sucks wanting to be happier but believing there is no way it can happen because that was what you heard. If you know it can happen, then you find a way to make that dream come true.

You get a roadmap to get you from where you are to where you want to be. You believe in yourself because you know in your heart it is possible and one mile at a time, you learn how to get there. When you do, you discover that you can win first place in a better life for yourself too.

If you know how to heal because you did it, then wake the rest of the people up in the nation so they can dream about doing it too! 

Remember, it is you life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

    

Let the River Run

Carly Simon

Let the river run

Let all the dreamers wake the nation

Come, the New Jerusalem

Silver cities rise

The morning lights the streets that lead them

And sirens call them on with a song

It's asking for the taking

Trembling, shaking

Oh, my heart is aching

We're coming to the edge

Running on the water

Coming through the fog

Your sons and daughters

We the great and small

Stand on a star

And blaze a trail of desire

Through the darkening dawn

It's asking for the taking

Come run with me now

The sky is the colour of blue

You've never even seen

In the eyes of your lover

Oh, my heart is aching

We're coming to the edge

Running on the water

Coming through the fog

Your sons and daughters

It's asking for the taking

Trembling, shaking

Oh, my heart is aching

We're coming to the edge

Running on the water

Coming through the fog

Your sons and daughters

Let the river run (Let the river run)

Let all the dreamers (let all the dreamers)

Wake the nation (wake the nation)

Come, the New Jerusalem

Source: Musixmatch

Let the River Run lyrics © Universal Music Corp., C'est Music, Tcf Music Publishing Inc 

Violence Against Women Act...for women like me!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 19, 2021 

"And I've been down there on the floor" when my ex-husband decided I needed to die. It wasn't bad enough he came home from work, started another argument like always, but this time, he decided to hit me. I hit back. Ten minutes later, after grabbing whatever I could to hit him with, being chased from room to room and screaming for help, he got me on the floor, got on top of me with his hands on my neck and tried to strangle me. It was the first time he hit me...and the last.

He stalked me for about a year, as far as I was aware. He drove muscle cars, so as soon as I heard the sound of an engine like that, it all came back. Nightmares, flashbacks, mood swings, paranoia and panic. About 2 years after it happened, I met my current husband. We dated about a year and a half when we decided to get married. I had to get in touch with my ex-husband for the annulment because I wanted to get married in the church again. The next day, he walked over to my husband to be and introduced himself. 

That was even worse for me because then I knew for sure, when I thought I was free of him and safe from him, I really wasn't. There is no way he would have know who I was marrying if he hadn't been following us all that time.

Years later, we moved from Massachusetts to Florida. Even down there, the sound would cause instant panic and all that came with it. It wasn't until my cousin sent me his obituary notice from the newspaper letting me know I was finally free of him, that I knew he would never hurt me again.

It wasn't until last year when my daughter and I were talking about this and she said, "You never told me you had PTSD." I said, "I didn't." Then she let me know that was exactly what I said I had. All those years I was in a sort of denial, even though I had become and expert on PTSD and dedicated almost 40 years to helping others heal. The thing was, all the research I did, never once had what I was dealing with. I saw two therapists and they didn't see it in me. Maybe researchers need to start looking at that too.

Anyway, I am telling you all this because the Violence Against Women Act has passed the House. It is up to the Senate to pass it now. If you don't think it is important because you do not know anyone it happened to, you do now. If you are reading this, then it means you know what I do and why I do it, but now you cannot ignore the price paid by women like me when the laws were much different. There was nothing there for me and very few resources. 

This Act will provide justice but there are some in the Senate saying they will not support it. I am asking you to contact your Senator and ask them if they will support this and if not, ask them why they are defending the abusers, because that is exactly what they are doing.

Now you know too much to go back and pretend, so please don't let us go down that road again. Let the Senate hear you roar in numbers too big to ignore~

House Renews Violence Against Women Act, But Senate Hurdles Remain
NPR
Susan Davis
March 17, 2021
The House approved with bipartisan support a reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, a popular 1994 law that protects and provides resources for victims of domestic abuse and sexual violence. The measure passed 244-172.

As a senator, President Biden played a lead role in passing the landmark law, which he recently called "one of my proudest legislative achievements."

The law was last reauthorized in 2013, but it lapsed at the end of 2018 after Congress failed to act due to partisan disputes over guns and transgender issues. The lapse has had little practical effect because Congress continues to fund related programs despite the lack of authorization.

The core legislation has broad support, but certain provisions added to the bill in the previous Congress exposed divisions among Republicans. In 2019, the House passed the measure with 33 Republicans voting with Democrats, but it was never brought up in the then-GOP-led Senate.
read more here

Rep. Debbie Dingell also knows what it is like. (Detriot News)

Dingell has openly discussed growing up in a household where she lived with domestic violence, noting statistics that 1 in 15 children also witness domestic violence.

"We don't forget about hiding in closets. Or our father taking locks off of doors. Or my grabbing a gun from my father, so he wouldn't kill my mother, and being convinced that we would die," Dingell said of her early life with her siblings.

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore

And I know too much to go back an' pretend

'Cause I've heard it all before

And I've been down there on the floor

No one's ever gonna keep me down again

I Am Woman

Helen Reddy

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore

And I know too much to go back an' pretend

'Cause I've heard it all before

And I've been down there on the floor

No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

You can bend but never break me

'Cause it only serves to make me

More determined to achieve my final goal

And I come back even stronger

Not a novice any longer

'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

I am woman watch me grow

See me standing toe to toe

As I spread my lovin' arms across the land

But I'm still an embryo

With a long long way to go

Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to I can face anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

Oh, I am woman

I am invincible

I am strong

I am woman

I am invincible

I am strong

I am woman

Source: Musixmatch

I Am Woman lyrics © Buggerlugs Music Co., Irving Music, Inc. 

I was on Choose Rochester New Hampshire Podcast and talking about this along with the work I do.

Who did you run away from?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 18, 2021

Who did you run away from? If you have PTSD, leaving the people in your life is common. It is also common that you never gave them a chance to know what you were going through, and all too likely, left them without ever telling them the real reason that made you leave. If you did, then your biggest problem is not having PTSD. Your biggest problem is having it but not knowing what it is. If you did, then you'd know there is nothing to be ashamed of. You're a survivor of something that could have killed you and that is the only reason you got hit by PTSD.

If you didn't give the people you shared your life with a chance, then you pre-judged them. You didn't give them a chance to support you, comfort you, help you, or yes, decide they didn't want to stay with you. You just assumed it would end badly.

Today the featured videos are Carole King, So Far Away and The 5th Dimension One Less Bell To Answer. More than likely the people you walked away from have no idea why you did. You'll never know until you try to communicate with them and explain it to them. First learn what you need to know and then give them a chance. If you think the next relationship will be any different, it won't be because they will not really know you and you will prove you really don't trust them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

So Far Away

Carole King

So far away

Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

It would be so fine to see your face at my door

Doesn't help to know

You're just time away

Long ago, I reached for you and there you stood

Holding you again could only do me good

How I wish I could

But you're so far away

One more song about movin' along the highway

Can't say much of anything that's new

If I could only work this life out my way

I'd rather spend it bein' close to you

But, you're so far away

Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

It would be so fine to see your face at my door

Doesn't help to know

You're so far away

Yeah, you're so far away

Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely

Nothing else to do but close my mind

I sure hope the road don't come to own me

There's so many dreams I've yet to find

But you're so far away

Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

It would be so fine to see your face at my door

And it doesn't help to know

You're so far away

Yeah, you're so far away

Hey, you're so far away

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: King Carole

So Far Away lyrics © Straitjacket Songs Ltd. 

One Less Bell To Answer

5th Dimension 

One less bell to answer...

One less egg to fry

One less man to pick up after

I should be happy

But all I do is cry

(Cry cry no more laughter)

Oh, I should be happy

(Oh, why did he go?)

I only know that since he left

My life's so empty

Though I try to forget

It just can't be done

Each time the doorbell rings

I still run (I still run)

I don't know how in the world

To stop thinking of him

'Cause I still love him so

(Love him so)

I end each day the way I start out

Crying my heart out

Oh...

One less man to pick up after...

No more laughter...

No more love... (no more love)

Since he went

Oh, he went away

(He went away)

(One less bell to answer)

Why did he leave me?

(Oh why why did he leave?)

Now I've got one less egg to fry (one less bell to answer)

One less egg to fry

(Oh why why did he leave?) And all I do is cry

(One less bell to answer) Because my man told me goodbye

(Oh why why did he leave?)

(One less bell to answer) Somebody tell me please where did he go? why did he go?

(Oh, why?) Tell me how could he leave me

(Why did he leave?)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: David Hal / Bacharach Burt F

One Less Bell To Answer lyrics © New Hidden Valley Music Co., New Hidden Valley Music Company, Casa David Music, Songs Of Fujimusic, New Hidden Valley Music Co, Bmg Rights Management (uk) Ltd (hal David)