this is a reminder of what it feels like to be happy

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 18, 2021

Things suck right now. The whole country has gone bonkers. It makes me angry to turn on the TV, so much so I don't know if I want to throw something at it, unplug it or what...I just know I needed a break.

I put on the oldies station and there it was. We're not just talking chair dancing song! It was full blown open the windows, crank up the music and dance. It isn't summer here in New Hampshire, so I settled for dancing throughout the house and it felt good!

We all need a break from the pandemic and the chaos in every single state. We need a break from feeling bad, helpless and depressed. Changes are coming but the horrors that brought us to this point were like days from hell.

So, this is a reminder of what it feels like to be happy. A few years ago, Scott Simon was talking about what happened in the hospital one night....

Why 'Dancing In The Street' Gets The People Going?
NPR
Scott Simon

......And then, everyone in line — including the elderly couple in front of me, who I would learn were there because their granddaughter had been clipped by a car, and the teenage barista standing behind the counter — seemed to light up at the same time. We all sang out: "They're dancing in Chicago."

Then we laughed, smiled and began to talk to each other about why we were there, how long it had been, and what we remembered and loved about this song. We were dancing in Chicago.

"Dancing in the Street" is a song that stirs our souls. Great anthems do. But no less than the great Martha Reeves, who gave it such a powerful voice, says it was first and last a dance song.

"The song is about love and feeling free enough to dance in the street," she told me in a conversation recorded for Weekend Edition Saturday. "You don't have to worry about cars hitting you. You don't have to worry about policemen coming and telling you you can't dance in the street."
read the rest here

We have National Guards deployed all over the country, blocking off streets and standing guard over the state houses. Security is on high alert for domestic terrorists in Washington DC because of what happened when the Capitol was attacked because of an election. A raging pandemic and people refusing to wear masks or actually pay attention to the fact there is a raging pandemic. It all sucks! 

But, consider when this song came out it was1964! Protests were happening all over the country against the Vietnam War and yes, a very terrible time, but because of that, we ended up with songs like this.

Calling out around the world

Are you ready for a brand new beat

Summer's here and the time is right

For dancing in the street

They're dancing in Chicago

Down in New Orleans

Up in New York City

All we need is music, sweet music

There'll be music everywhere

There'll be swinging swaying records playing

Dancing in the street

Oh it doesn't matter what you wear

Just as long as you are there

So come on every guy grab a girl

Everywhere around the world

They'll be dancing

They're dancing in the street

It's just an invitation across the nation

A chance for folks to meet

There'll be laughing, singing, music swinging

Dancing in the street

Philadelphia, PA

Baltimore and D.C. now

Can't forget the Motor City

All we need is music, sweet music

There'll be music everywhere

There'll be swinging, swaying, records playing

Dancing in the street

Oh it doesn't matter what you wear

Just as long as you are there

So come on ev'ry guy grab a girl

Ev'rywhere around the world

Dancing

They're dancing in the street

Way down in L.A.

Every day

(Dancing in the street)

Across the ocean blue, me and you

We're dancing in the street

(Dancing in the street)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Stanley Lebowsky / John Lehmann

Dancing In The Street (Stereo) lyrics © Stone Agate Music, Nmg Music, Mgiii Music, Fcg Music, Jobete Music Co Inc 

And for the rest of us old people who grew up with the original

When things suck, people take action to change it. After all, that is why we have all the treatment available for trauma survivors! Things sucked over 40 years ago, and people decided to make it better for everyone. Research on PTSD started because Vietnam veterans came home and fought for it. They are the reason we ended up with what we have and others who still fight for more research are the reason things will keep getting better!

For us, not being willing to settle for suffering, our lives got better too!

So, take a break, and do some dancing to remind you of better days for all of us.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

finding yourself in a field of broken glass

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 17, 2021

When you have PTSD it is like finding yourself in a field of broken glass. It hurts, but you think if you don't move, you won't inflict more pain than you already have. That is true as long as nothing else happens in your life, you never talk to anyone, see anyone else, close your ears and shut your eyes. But sooner or later, you will not be able to stand up. You'll fall down and the pain hits your whole body.

You know how far you are into the field and think you can figure out how far it is to get out of it, but you're not sure. If you go back, you inflict more pain, reach the beginning of the field and then have to go through all of it all over again. 

If you got right or left, Lord only knows where that choice will lead you to.

If you go forward, you know there will be more pain. It will not be easy to get through that field but the further you go, there is less broken glass under your feet.

You will come a place you can heal your cuts in a safer place and open your life to all kinds of possibilities.

And that is what it is like to make the choice to start the journey to heal PTSD!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Walking on, walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

You were the sweetest thing that I ever knew

But I don't care for sugar honey if I can't have you

Since you've abandoned me

My whole life has crashed

Won't you pick the pieces up

'Cause it feels just like I'm walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

The sun's still shining in the big blue sky

But it don't mean nothing to me

O-o-oh let the rain come down

Let the wind blow through me

I'm living in an empty room

With all the windows smashed

And I've got so little left to lose

That it feels just like I'm walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

And if you're trying to cut me down

You know that I might bleed

'Cause if you're trying to cut me down

I know that you'll succeed

And if you want to hurt me

There's nothing left to fear

'Cause if you want to hurt me

You do it really well my dear

Now everyone of us was made to suffer

Everyone of us is made to weep

We've been hurting one another

Now the pain has cut too deep

So take me from the wreckage

Save me from the blast

Lift me up and take me back

Don't let me keep on walking (don't let me keep on walking)

I kept on walking on

Keep on walking on broken glass

Walking on, walking on broken glass

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Annie Lennox

Walking on Broken Glass lyrics © La Lennoxa Music Co. Ltd., Universal Music Mgb Songs Obo La Lennoxa Ltd., Lennoxa Music Co. Ltd., La Web results 

And then you'll be walking on sunshine!

I used to think maybe you loved me

Now, baby, I'm sure

And I just can't wait 'til the day

When you knock on my door

Now every time I go for the mailbox

Gotta hold myself down

'Cause I just can't wait 'til you write me

You're coming around

Now I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

And it's starting to feel good, hey

All right now

And it's starting to feel good

I used to think maybe you loved me

Now I know that it's true

And I don't wanna spend my whole life

Just a waiting for you

Now I don't want you back for the weekend

Not back for a day, no, no, no

I said, baby, I just want you back

And I want you to stay

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

And it's starting to feel good, hey

All right now

And it's starting to feel good

Yeah, oh, yeah

And it's starting to feel good

Walking on sunshine

Walking on sunshine

I feel alive, I feel a love

I feel a love that's really real

I feel alive, I feel a love

I feel a love that's really real

I'm on sunshine, baby

I'm on sunshine, baby

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm walking on sunshine

And it's starting to feel good, hey

All right now

And it's starting to feel good

I say it, I say it, I say it again, now

And it's starting to feel good

Oh, yeah

And it's starting to feel good

Starting to feel good

I say it, I say it, I say it again, now

And it's starting to feel good

And it's starting to feel good

Now tell me, tell me tell me again now

And it's starting to feel good

Oh, yeah

And it's starting to feel good

Starting to feel good

Starting to feel good

Now it's starting to feel good

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Kimberley Rew

Walking on Sunshine lyrics © Cooper Rew, Kyboside Ltd., Emi Music Publishing France, Wixen Music Publishing Obo Kyboside Music Ltd, Kyboside Music Ltd, Kyboside Ltd 

Just the music on this one so that you can make your own video in your mind by thinking of what would make you feel like you're walking on sunshine too!

the person you need to love first

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 16, 2021

Yesterday we were talking about how if you want to have somebody to love, you need to start with yourself. Too many relationships fall apart. Even without PTSD, successful relationships require a lot of work. They also require you to know what love really is first. The only way to know that, is to start with yourself.

Over the years, I've talked to a lot of people who are lonely and they want someone in their life again. The problem was, they just kept looking before they ever started working on what the problem was....THEM! Veterans would complain they were on their 4th, 5th or 6th marriage but none of their wives ever understood them. Wow, if you're thinking head smack moment, it was.

How could they expect anyone to understand them if they didn't understand themselves? The truth is, none of them did what they needed to do to actually be ready for a relationship with anyone if they didn't have one with themselves.

If you do not work on healing, then you are dooming the next relationship. You won't have what they need you to give them. The rush of a new beginning will feel wonderful until you are no longer able to hide what you brought as baggage moving into their life.

"All healing is first a healing of the heart." - Carl Townsend

find more quotes here 

Why keep looking for love when the person you need to love first...is you?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I spent a lifetime lookin' for you

Single bars and good time lovers were never true

Playing a fools game, hopin' to win

Tellin' those sweet lies and losin' again

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Hoping to find a friend and lover

I'll bless the day I discover

Another heart lookin' for love

I was alone then, no love in sight

I did everything I could to get me through the night

I don't know where it started or where it might end

I turned to a stranger just like a friend

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Hoping to find a friend and lover

I'll bless the day I discover

Another heart lookin' for love

You came knockin' on my heart's door

You're everything I've been looking for

No more lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Now that I found a friend and lover

God bless the day I discover

You, oh you, lookin' for love

Lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Now that I found a friend and lover

God bless the day I discover

You, oh you, lookin' for love

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bob Morrison / Patti Ryan / Wanda Mallette

Lookin' For Love lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Bluewater Music Corp. 

Gloria

You're always on the run now

Runnin' after somebody

You've gotta get him somehow

I think you've got to slow down

Before you start to blow it

I think you're headin' for a breakdown

So be careful not to show it

You really don't remember

Was it somethin' that he said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

Don't you think you're fallin'?

If everybody wants you

Why isn't anybody callin'?

You don't have to answer

Leave 'em hangin' on the line, ohh

Calling Gloria

Gloria

(Gloria)

I think they got your number

(Gloria)

I think they got the alias

(Gloria)

That you've been livin' under

(Gloria)

But you really don't remember

Was it something that they said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

How's it gonna go down?

Will you meet him on the main line?

Or will you catch him on the rebound?

Will you marry for the money?

Take a lover in the afternoon?

Feel your innocence slippin' away

Don't believe it's comin' back soon

And you really don't remember

Was it somethin' that he said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

Don't you think you're fallin'?

If everybody wants you

Why isn't anybody callin'?

You don't have to answer

Leave them hangin' on the line, ohh

Calling Gloria

Gloria

(Gloria)

I think they got your number

(Gloria)

I think they got the alias

(Gloria)

That you've been livin' under

(Gloria)

But you really don't remember

Was it something that they said?

All the voices in your head

Calling Gloria

Gloria

Gloria

Gloria

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Giancarlo Bigazzi Eng. Lyrics: Trevor Veitch / Orig. Lyrics Music: Umberto Tozzi

Gloria lyrics © Melodi Casa Ed. Srl., Melodi Casa Editrice Srl 

Finding somebody to love starts with the mirror

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 15, 2021

And now back to the original programming! Yesterday I needed to let some stuff out to get it out of the way of positive thinking. Humans do need to do that and I'd be really lousy at my job if I told everyone else to honor their feelings, if I didn't. No one can give what they do not know.

That is why today the featured video is Queen Somebody To Love! The words are so true.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)

Lord, what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord!

Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Take a look in the mirror if you want to find somebody to love and start there! You cannot give what you do not have for yourself.

Find what you love about yourself and hug it. Find what you don't like about yourself and either change it, or just deal with it after you acknowledge it. For me, I had to learn to love myself with all my qualities and yes, all my flaws.

I do have a lot to give, because I learned how to give it to myself first. One of the biggest flaws I have is my temper. I learned to control it because I cannot get rid of it. 

My husband and I have been married for what feels like forever. When he knows I am angry, he always asks, "Do you love me?" I always reply with "yes" because he knows no matter how angry I am, or hurt, I love him. The next question is, "Do you like me?" That always leads to a sarcastic answer, "So far."

Love doesn't mean you are always approving of the other person, or you like everything about them. No one perfect and neither are you.

When you have PTSD, it makes it harder to find what is lovable about you but it is all still there. Take a look in the mirror and start loving yourself. Understand where your pain comes from and then do what you can to get that pain out of the way of positive stuff coming in.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Somebody To Love

George Michael and Queen

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)

Lord, what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord!

Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard (he works hard) every day of my life

I work 'til I ache in my bones

At the end (at the end of the day)

I take home my hard earned pay all on my own

I get down (down) on my knees (knees)

And I start to pray

'Til the tears run down from my eyes

Lord, somebody (somebody), ooh somebody

(Please) can anybody find me somebody to love?

Everyday (everyday) I try and I try and I try

But everybody wants to put me down

They say I'm going crazy

They say I got a lot of water in my brain

Ah, got no common sense

I got nobody left to believe in

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Oh, Lord

Ooh somebody, ooh somebody

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

(Can anybody find me someone to love)

Got no feel, I got no rhythm

I just keep losing my beat (you just keep losing and losing)

I'm OK, I'm alright (he's alright, he's alright)

I ain't gonna face no defeat (yeah yeah)

I just gotta get out of this prison cell

One day (someday) I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love love love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Somebody somebody somebody somebody

Somebody find me

Somebody find me somebody to love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

(Find me somebody to love)

Ooh

(Find me somebody to love)

Find me somebody, somebody (find me somebody to love) somebody, somebody to love

Find me, find me, find me, find me, find me

Ooh, somebody to love (Find me somebody to love)

Ooh (find me somebody to love)

Find me, find me, find me somebody to love (find me somebody to love)

Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love!

Somebody find me, find me love

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Freddie Mercury

Somebody To Love lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Struggling to forgive?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 14, 2021

I have been struggling with this one all day. I thought it would be good to do a message on forgiveness, especially after what happened last week in Washington when the Congress was attacked. After several attempts to do the video, I realized the Impeachment hearing yesterday troubled me more than I thought it did. 

As I listened to some people defend the president, pretend it didn't happen, or say it was time to move on because he would be out of office next week, I was sick to my stomach. It was almost as if they were saying it was no big deal at all.

I was about to change the message of the day so that I could do a positive one, until it made more sense to just do it from where I am emotionally right now. After all, there are a lot of people going through the same thing and all of us will have to reach the point where we are able to forgive those who betrayed the rest of us. Considering that 53% thought he should be impeached, there are a lot of us.

We are seeing many of the images of the people online. Their anger was on full display, but so was their pride. One man who was carrying the Confederate flag, was arrested along with his son. The FBI found him because he went back to work and was bragging about what he did. That is something that most of them did...because they were proud of themselves. Will they be so proud when the next picture taken of them is their mugshot? Will they be so proud when they lose everything they built in their lives up until they decided to violate the People's House? How are they feeling right now as they face charges tide to insurrection after the president came out and condemned what they did, after he encouraged them to do it?

What will they do now that he no longer has any use for them? Who will they believe when he is no longer able to lie to them and betray the trust they placed in him to the point where they were willing to pay any price to serve him? 

So yes, even they are struggling. One of them committed suicide.

They will be arrested and charged and we will begin to heal, but the damage they did will change the way we look at each other for a long time. 

If you are struggling with this, then, reach out to God for help to forgive them. I know that is what I will be doing because I do not want to allow what they did to hold any more place inside of me than it has already taken up.

O God Forgive Us

KING and COUNTRY 

We've prayed the prayer with no reply

Words float off into the night

Couldn't cut our doubt with the sharpest knife

Oh, oh God forgive us

Silence isn't comfortable

We want drive through peace and instant hope

Our shallow faith it has left us broke

Oh, oh God forgive us

Oh, oh God forgive us

Enslaved to our uncertainty

Help us with our unbelief

Oh God forgive us

Young and old, black and white

We're rich and poor, there's no divide

Hear the mighty, hear the powerless, singing

Oh, oh God forgive us

Oh, oh God forgive us

Forgive us

Yes, we have ignored You

So busy doing Your work that we forgot that this was for You

Arms wide to our homeless Savior

But arms crossed to our homeless neighbor

On bended knee, unite us all

Set us free

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hand up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hands up and open wide, open wide
With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hand up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hands up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky

Hand up and open wide, open wide

With our white flag sailing in the night

Eyes pointed to the sky
Hands up and open wide, open wide

Oh, oh God forgive us

Oh, oh God forgive us

Enslaved to our uncertainty

Help us with our unbelief

Oh God forgive us

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mosley Seth David / Smallbone Joel David / Smallbone Luke James

O God Forgive Us lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Shankel Songs, Method To The Madness, Kilns Music, Word Music, Llc, Dayspring Music, Llc