No fun in being normal

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 5, 2021

After you survived and PTSD started to take hold, did you ever wish you could be "normal" again? Why? Normal is a relative term and most people, no matter how hard they try, they are really not what they pretend to be. Plus, there is nothing "normal" about surviving what you survived. 

Today there are two featured videos. One is from the Lion King, with Pumbaa and Timon.

I wanted to see what the names meant and the best one came up on Wiki...

As with many characters in The Lion King, Pumbaa's name derives from the East African language Swahili. In Swahili, pumbaa (v.) means "to be foolish, silly, weakminded, careless, negligent." Timon is one of the few characters whose name has no meaning in Swahili; Timon is a historical Greek name, taken to mean "he who respects." Timon's name may derive from Shakespeare's tragedy Timon of Athens, another Shakespeare reference in a film which derives its plot from Hamlet. A more likely explanation is that he is named after the Greek philosopher Timon, a disciple of Pyrrho, the founder of the school of scepticism.

They were not "normal" but as with most movies, the heroes are usually much different than the others. They stopped trying to fit in and decided to live true to themselves.

When you were in school, "C" meant you were average...while a "B" meant you were better and "A" meant you excelled at something...so, not normal.

Every achievement came from people who were not what was considered normal. They were artist, writers, creators of something that had not been before, visionaries, inventors, but above all, never willing to settle for "normal" in anything..

Did you ever wonder why most movies about outcasts ended up being hits? Because most people are actually different...like in the movie Shrek. That is the second video after Shrek gets married and all the misfits have a huge party, singing I'm A Believer.

Embrace the fact that you are not normal so you can set higher standards of reaching out for happiness as a non-normal survivor. Besides, as these movies prove, it is a lot more fun not being normal because most people are more like you than  you think they are.

Hakuna Matata!

What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata!

Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!

Why, when he was a young warthog

When I was a young wart-hoooog!

Very nice!

Thanks!

He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal

He could clear the Savannah after every meal

I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick-skinned

And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind

And oh, the shame

(He was ashamed!)

Thought of changin' my name

(Oh, what's in a name?)

And I got downhearted

(How did you feel?)

Every time that I-

Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!

Oh... sorry

Hakuna Matata!

What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata!

Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

Yeah, sing it, kid!

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Elton John / Tim Rice

Hakuna Matata lyrics © Walt Disney Music Company

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and

#TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I’m a Believer

Smash Mouth

I thought love was only true in fairy tales

Meant for someone else, but not for me

Love was out to get me

That's the way it seemed

Disappointment haunted all my dreams

Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

I'm in love, I'm a believer

I couldn't leave her if I tried

I thought love was more or less a givin' thing

The more I gave, the less I got, oh yeah

What's the use in tryin'

All you get is pain

When I wanted sunshine, I got rain

And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

I'm in love, I'm a believer

I couldn't leave her if I tried

What's the use of trying

All you get is pain

When I wanted sunshine, I got rain

And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

I'm in love, I'm a believer

I couldn't leave her if I tried

Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

Now I'm a believer, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Now I'm a believer

Then I saw her face

Now I'm a believer

Not a trace, of doubt in my mind

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Neil Diamond

I’m a Believer lyrics © Emi Foray Music, Tallyrand Music Inc. 

Your masquerade isn't working

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 4, 2021

When I was a kid my Mom would take one look at me, see the neon sign on my forehead, and know something was wrong. She would ask, "what's the matter" or "what are you hiding" or "what did you do" and most of the time, she'd get the question right. No matter how hard I tried to hide it, I'd have to confess. Then there were times when she was totally wrong. She would blame me for something my brother did. No matter how hard I tried to prove my innocence, it didn't work. Sooner of later, my brother would fess up and tell the truth. Usually that happened after I had already been punished. Trust was eroded.

As a grown up, we try to hide stuff too. We try to hide what we are thinking, more than we try to hide what we're doing. When you have PTSD, you may want to believe you are hiding your pain but, the people in your life notice the difference. They end up judging you, believing you turned into a jerk, and then, they judge themselves.

Your masquerade isn't working. The time to come clean about what is going on is right now. Covering up your pain leaves them to assume all sorts of things, and none of them add up to the fact you survived something they will never fully understand, or even begin to, unless you stop the masquerade.

That is why today the featured video is George Benson, Masquerade.

It will be a lot easier on you if you open up and tell them what is going on, because sooner or later, someone will stand by your side, and help you heal so you can be yourself again.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

This Masquerade

George Benson

Are we really happy here

With this lonely game we play?

Looking for words to say

Searching but not finding understanding anywhere

We're lost in a masquerade

Both afraid to say we're just too far away

From being close together from the start

We tried to talk it over but the words got in the way

We're lost inside this lonely game we play

Thoughts of leaving disappear

Every time I see your eyes

No matter how hard I try

To understand the reasons that we carry on this way

We're lost in a masquerade

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Leon Russell

This Masquerade lyrics © Reservoir Media Management Inc 

George Benson Masquerade (Live) 

If the past was a nightmare, time to dream on changing tomorrow

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 3, 2021

What are your dreams? Not the ones you have when you are asleep, but the dreams you have when you are awake. Do you still have any? Has PTSD robbed you of your imagination in a hopeful way, because it is too occupied with doom and gloom?

The thing is, you have the power to change all of it.

The Boston Marathon bombing is a good example of that. People lined up to cheer on runners from all over the world. That was all they were focused on. They did not know evil joined them that day. They did not see the two bombers placing the backpacks down and walking away.

(CNN)
Here is a look at the Boston Marathon terror attack. On April 15, 2013, double bombings near the finish line of the Boston Marathon killed three people and injured at least 264.

Facts

The bombs exploded 12 seconds apart near the marathon’s finish line on Boylston Street.

According to Richard DesLauriers, the special agent in charge of the FBI’s Boston office, the bombs contained BB-like pellets and nails.

In those 12 seconds, hundreds of people rushed to help the wounded not knowing if another bomb would blow up or not. The second bomb blew up, and even more people responded to even more wounded.

That is what they decided to do with the power they had after something evil happened to them. But the acts of compassion did not end there. People from around the world donated to help the survivors. 

War veterans, who lost their own limbs visited the wounded who lost limbs to encourage them that life is not over, even though they were dealing with their own inner wounds.

Boston University took a look at how this hit veterans afterwards, "Of those interviewed, 38 percent reported that they were emotionally distressed by the bombing and the subsequent lockdown of Boston and other communities. A majority of the participants said that the bombing caused them to experience flashbacks and the re-emergence of unwanted memories relating to their own past traumas."

War amputees to Boston's injured:

 

'Life's not over'

When someone survives, they have a choice to make. Do they just suffer living like a victim, or do they do something about it so that surviving doesn't have to suck for other people...and in turn, heal themselves? 

We have an example of that when a survivor was interviewed by Associated Press Post-pandemic PTSD? Lessons from a marathon bombing survivor. Bobby O'Donnell said his injury was in is head. He went on to run more marathons and wrote a book to help empower others to "dream on!"

He wrote a book, Running Wild, but because of the pandemic, he knew there would be many more struggling to heal.

AP: Yours is the story of someone who suffered PTSD and invisible wounds from the terror attack in 2013, and how you were able to overcome that. But now fast-forward to 2020, and it feels like a lot of people potentially could be suffering.
O’Donnell: Telling people to stay inside and completely disrupting their daily lives ... mental health is going to be a huge ripple effect that comes out of this. Emergency rooms are going to struggle to deal with psychiatric issues, because we’re telling people to not go to the hospital. People who normally would go out to seek help are now afraid to go into this environment. It’s an important time to be checking up on your own mental health. Just because you think that someone’s gone through something worse than you have, it doesn’t devalue the trauma or distress that you’ve had.

Do you want to settle for doom and gloom now, or do you want to dream about what you can do to make a difference because you know exactly how they feel?

You can change tomorrow for yourself and then change it for others too! Now that is a powerful to dream on!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Dream On

Aerosmith

Every time when I look in the mirror

All these lines on my face getting clearer

The past is gone

And it went by, like dusk to dawn

Isn't that the way?

Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows

Where it comes and where it goes

I know it's everybody's sin

You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life's in books, written pages

Live and learn from fools and from sages

You know it's true, oh

All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for a year

Sing for the laughter, and sing the tear

Sing with me, if it's just for today

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year

Sing for the laughter, and sing for the tear

Sing it with me, if it's just for today

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream until the dream come true

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream until your dream come true

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on

Dream on, ah

Sing with me, sing for the year

Sing for the laughter and sing for the tear

Sing with me, if it's just for today

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Sing with me, sing for the year

Sing for the laughter, and sing for the tear

Sing it with me, if it's just for today

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Steven Tyler

Dream On lyrics © Music Of Stage Three 

Aerosmith - Dream On (with Southern California Children's Chorus) - Boston Marathon Bombing Tribute 

They can't take away your dignity

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 2, 2021

There are things no one can take away from you. You have to give it to them. One of them is power over your life. When someone hurts you, and you hang onto that pain, anger, judgment while constantly trying to figure out why they treated you that way, you give them power over your life. They continue to inflict pain, because you gave them that power.

The good news is, as soon as you decide that you are no longer willing to give them a place in your life, they lose! Basically, you choose when they lose. This is why the feature video today is Whitney Houston, The Greatest Love Of All.

Too many times we're all hurt by people and then wonder why they did it to us. Was it personal? Was it a matter of being in the wrong place at the right time for them to attack us? Did they believe a lie about us? Were they so miserable they wanted everyone else to be that way too? Were they jealous of us? Those are questions that you may want to be answered, but the truth is, it really shouldn't matter to you at all. The only thing you have the power to do, is choose how you respond afterwards.

At the end of the day, you have only yourself to answer for. What you believe, what you do, how you think, how you act and how you live your life, is all up to you. You control no one else. No one else controls you, unless you allow it.

It is hard for everyone but having PTSD makes it harder to hang onto your dignity and hope. The last thing you need is to have someone you know making you feel worse.

If they mistreat you, betray you, judge you, walk away from you, they deserve no place in your life because they have proven you do not matter to them. Maybe they are so miserable in their own life, they only feel better about themselves by making someone else miserable.

If they stand by you, help you, care about, want you to be happy, they earned a place in your life because they proved they care about you and you do matter to them.

The Greatest Love Of All

Whitney Houston

I believe the children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody searching for a hero

People need someone to look up to

I never found anyone who fulfill my needs

A lonely place to be

And so I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago

Never to walk in anyone's shadows

If I fail, if I succeed

At least I'll live as I believe

No matter what they take from me

They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all

Is happening to me

I found the greatest love of all

Inside of me

The greatest love of all

Is easy to achieve

Learning to love yourself

It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

I decided long ago

Never to walk in anyone's shadows

If I fail, if I succeed

At least I'll live as I believe

No matter what they take from me

They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all

Is happening to me

I found the greatest love of all

Inside of me

The greatest love of all

Is easy to achieve

Learning to love yourself

Is the greatest love of all

And if, by chance, that special place

That you've been dreaming of

Leads you to a lonely place

Find your strength in love

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Linda Creed / Michael Masser 

And if you have someone in your life who loves you, then you are blessed. If not, then believe someday, when you are healed and ready for it, love will find you again. First you need to learn how to love yourself. You cannot give them love if you do not know what it is, but once you learn, you will be happy to give them a place in your life...and all the love you have.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I believe in you and me

I believe that we will be in love eternally

Well, as far as I can see

You will always be the one for me

Oh yes, you will

And I believe in dreams again

I believe that love will never end

And like the river finds the sea

I was lost, now I'm free

'Cause I believe In you and me

I will never leave your side

I will never hurt your pride

When all the chips are down, baby

Then I will always be around

Just to be right where you are

My love, you know I love you, boy

I will never leave you out

I will always let you in, oh baby

To places no one's ever been

Deep inside

Can't you see that I believe in you and me

Maybe I'm a fool to feel the way I do

I will play the fool forever

Just to be with you forever

I believe in miracles

And love's the miracle

And yes, baby you're my dream come true

I was lost, now I'm free

Oh, baby 'cause I believe, I do believe in you and me

See, I was lost, now I'm free

'Cause I believe in you and me

Believe in you and me

Believe in you and me

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Sandy Linzer / David P Wolfert

I Believe in You and Me lyrics © R2m Music, Linz Music, Emi Sosaha Music Inc. 

hurting runs off my shoulders...

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 1, 2021

A new year begins with hopeful hearts across the world after a horrible year. How do we know that? The people around the world joined in to sing Neil Diamond's iconic song Sweet Caroline!

"2020 has been a tough year for everyone, so we wanted to bring people together the best way we knew how: Through music," a message at the top of the video reads.

"To inspire people to come together, we challenged fans all around the world to sing along to 'Sweet Caroline,'" it adds.

The videos feature people alone and in small groups, as well as larger ones such as a baseball game and what seems like a wedding party, where the song can often be heard. USAToday

Emotional pain is not limited to nations or races, or sexes. It is not limited to the greedy or the needy. It hits all humans. The question is, what do we do about it? How do we respond to the needs of others or ourselves?

With hope because we do more than just feel sorry for others and others do more than just feel sorry for us. WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Sweet Caroline

Neil Diamond

Where it began, I can't begin to knowing

But then I know it's growing strong

Was in the spring

And spring became the summer

Who'd have believed you'd come along

Hands, touching hands

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

But now I

Look at the night and it don't seem so lonely

We filled it up with only two

And when I hurt

Hurting runs off my shoulders

How can I hurt when holding you

One, touching one

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

Oh no, no

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Sweet Caroline

I believe they never could

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Neil Diamond

Sweet Caroline lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Hurting doesn't just rub off the shoulders of anyone without help. Understanding with empathy, leads to inspiring empowerment action. Hope is fueled by the knowledge you matter to someone. Your outlook changes and hope shoves hurt off your shoulders! The thing is, hope is a very jealous thing allowing no room for anything else. It wants to spread out take over everything in your life, and is contagious. It wants to spread to everyone you know, everyone they know and even to strangers you encounter everyday.

Think of it this way. The cashier you smiled at, could have been having a rough day, but your smile and kindness changed their mood, and they changed the mood of hundreds of others shopping that day. Other cashiers noticed and their mood changed. They in turn, changed the mood of the shoppers in their line. Soon the manager notices and makes a happy announcement to everyone in the store. Then the managers of other stores are made aware of what is going on, so they do the same and thousands of moods are changed for more and then they pass it on.

This is the reason I do what I do. I know what it is like to be hurting, lonely, hopeless and not wanting to get up out of bed. On the flip side, I also know what healing is like because I found what I needed to so that I could heal the cracks in my soul. I found what I needed to change my husband's life and give him hope. After that, it seemed only natural to share what I could to change the moods of everyone I could reach, knowing they would reach others and change their moods too. 

Last night as I was praying, I thanked God for the mission He set me on way back in 1982. I thanked Him for the inspiration of these daily videos for everyone, even while lamenting about having to walk away from just working with veterans and their families. They couldn't find me anymore because the internet got too crowded. With over 8 million others dealing with PTSD in this country alone, topped off with a raging pandemic, isolation and loneliness, it seems the right time to shift. I don't regret it. 

The only way this work gets shared, like the smile given to a cashier, is for you to share it. Other people didn't know who started the chain reaction but it still changed their days. If you are reading this, then please share it. If you are watching the videos, please share them too. Give me credit or not, that doesn't matter. The mission is to change lives not to take credit for what God put in my heart to do.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

Andra Day - "Imagine" (Live From Times Square NYE Ball Drop 2021)