If you want to live a happy life...

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 11, 2021 

There are so many things people are missing because of the pandemic. New parents are sad because they did not get to celebrate the birth of their babies the way they thought it would always be like. They thought they'd be surrounded by family and friends sharing their joy with them, but face isolation, depending on social media to connect them from a distance. The same is being done for other events, like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and yes, even funerals.

For others, who in their normal lives, they were sociable, and thrived interacting with others face to face. They looked forward to being active in the groups that fed their souls, and now they have to rely on someone deciding to do a Zoom meeting, instead of being able to hug someone.  (I'm a hugger and it sucks.)

For others, they reach out on social media, knowing with so many people listed among their "friends" they are sure to have many people reaching back to comfort them. They share, get some responses from a few, then wonder why they have so many they are sharing their lives with online, only to discover, they were not really their friends.

Against the Wind, by Bob Seger

The years rolled slowly past

And I found myself alone

Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends

I found myself further and further from my home, and I

Guess I lost my way

There were oh-so-many roads

I was living to run and running to live

Never worried about paying or even how much I owed

Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time

Breaking all of the rules that would bend

I began to find myself searching

Searching for shelter again and again 

When you realize you were surrounded by people you only thought were your friends, it hurts. You think about all the time you spent with them, and enjoyed their company because you thought they cared about you. But when you needed them to show you how much they did care, they walked away from you.

It happened more times than I can count, while it is easy to count on the few friends I do have, because I can always count on them. Those are the friends I try to think about so I can forget the ones who turned out to be nothing more than people I knew.

I got tired of trying to figure out what I did wrong when I was used, betrayed and ignored. I got tired of beating myself up for telling the truth because some of them needed hear it and they attacked me because they didn't want to hear it. It was hard, but I got over it because I got over them.

I take comfort in knowing that I did the right things for the right reasons and do not regret what I did for them. Doing the right thing has never been wrong, even though other people mistreat you for doing it. I know I can rest well at night knowing it was their problem, instead of going against my core beliefs of what was the right thing to do. And I hold my head up high.

That is why the featured video today is Argent, Hold Your Head Up. I can take what comes into my life because of the things I do with my life.

I spent almost 4 decades trying to help people, fellow survivors of trauma heal. I never figured out how to get financial support to keep doing it, even though I asked for help over and over again, but no one found it valuable enough to support, but those who gained popularity ended up getting their financial support instead of me, when they knew me personally. 

I prayed that God would send someone to help me. Many people came into my life and I trusted that was how God answered my prayers. Soon they proved that they may have been sent by God to help me, but they ended up only interested in helping themselves.

Through all of it, all the heartache and self-doubt, feeling like I failed and deserved to be treated this way for a time, the truth kept me going and I held my head up high. While some measure success by how popular you are, how much money you have or how many followers you have on social media, I measure it a different way.

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." Albert Einstein

If you have PTSD, the goal should be healing so you can live a happier life. If you live with someone with PTSD, the goal should be to help them be happier, so you can be too. The rest will come one day because you put the priority on possibilities. Then you can measure success by sharing more joys and many more years together.

I measure it by lives I've saved. To know that I made a difference to them. To know how I treated others better than they treated me. I measure it by knowing that no matter how many roadblocks are put in front of me, there are thousands of others behind me I managed to get over. You can too!

If you want to share your joy, then be joyful of what you have to share with those you can. If you want to find support for what you are lacking, then accept the support you do receive as a blessing. Measure your life by what you give and not by what you get back.

These are difficult times where lies and liars no longer have any shame in them. Family members betray others because they like the lies they hear. They will awaken to the reality that others were telling them the truth all along and some will feel ashamed. If they ask for forgiveness, then forgive them. All the harm they did to you will no longer have power over your life or a place in your soul where love lives.

Hold your head up to get through the trying times and know that better days are coming...

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Hold Your Head Up

Argent 

And if it's there

Don't let it get you down,

You can take it.

And if it hurts

Don't let them see you cry,

You can make it.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

And if they stare

Just let them burn their eyes

On you moving.

And if they shout

Don't let it change a thing

That you're doing.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

And if they stare

Just let them burn their eyes

On you moving.

And if they shout

Don't let it change a thing

That you're doing.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Bouwens 

Hope drug works

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
Feburary 10, 2021

If you have PTSD and are in treatment, then you may be given some drug...or drugs. If you are not, then your drug of choice is whatever you decide to self medicate with. Then there is another type of drug that works better to offer a happier road ahead.

If you are on medication, it may not be working as good as it should or you are having a hard time with side effects that come with it. Someone you know may be doing great on it, but you're not. That's OK. You are not your buddy. You doctor needs to know how you are feeling so they can change what you are on. That is why there are many different drugs for the same condition...no matter what it is.

If you are not in therapy, then you may be self-medicating. Using street drugs or alcohol to get numb, high or pass out because you cannot sleep. All that does it cost you a lot of money, cause trouble with every part of your life and may even shorten your life. It is not making you happier or healthier. Most of the time it may even be making you more miserable, especially if your drug of choice is alcohol. That is one of the biggest reasons you are told to stop drinking if you are on medication for PTSD.

The other type of drug is natural. I call it the Hope Drug and it works. When you have hope that you can be happier, it lifts you up. You have a reason to get up in the morning. That is what we're doing everyday on PTSD Patrol.

Knowing that it will be OK to actually feel things again is a head rush. It won't be just feeling miserable and you'll look forward to actually feeling good things again...because you know you can.

That is why today the featured video is Huey Lewis I Want A New Drug. That is why I am prescribing hope for you today...and everyday!

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I Want A New Drug

Huey Lewis

I want a new drug, one that won't make me sick

One that won't make me crash my car

Or make me feel three-feet thick

I want a new drug, one that won't hurt my head

One that won't make my mouth too dry

Or make my eyes too red

One that won't make me nervous

Wonderin' what to do

One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

When I'm alone with you

I want a new drug, one that won't spill

One that don't cost too much

Or come in a pill

I want a new drug, one that won't go away

One that won't keep me up all night

One that won't make me sleep all day

One that won't make me nervous

Wonderin' what to do

One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

I'm alone with you, baby

I'm alone with you, baby

I want a new drug, one that does what it should

One that won't make me feel too bad

One that won't make me feel too good

I want a new drug, one with no doubt

One that won't make me talk to much

Or make my face breakout

One that won't make me nervous

Wonderin' what to do

One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

I'm alone with you

I'm alone with you, yeah, yeah

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Christopher John Hayes / Huey Lewis

I Want a New Drug lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

Don't be a ghost of yourself to them....

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 9, 2021

If you have PTSD, and are afraid of letting the people in your life know what is on your mind...you are making a big mistake. While they cannot read your mind, in their own mind, they are making up their own stories about how you are acting. You gave them no other choice because you won't tell them what they need to know.

The see the changes in you, but they don't know where those changes are coming from. They end up wondering what they did wrong. Kids wonder why Mom or Dad is acting that way again. If you don't want to hurt them by opening up, then you already are.

You don't have to tell them everything that is going on inside of you if you are afraid they will judge you or won't be able to handle it. They won't know what to do with too much information and that is what a therapist is for. All you need to do is share the basics with them so they won't blame themselves or jump to a conclusion about you that is wrong.

Hiding it won't help you heal. It will only make your family more distant. Pushing them away so they won't see your pain, won't help you heal. Letting them know will make all the difference especially if you are carrying a ghost they can't see.

This is why today the featured video is Gordon Lightfoot, If You Could Read My Mind. He wrote it after getting divorced.

"If you could read my mind, love,

What a tale my thoughts could tell.

Just like an old time movie,

'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.

In a castle dark or a fortress strong,

With chains upon my feet.

You know that ghost is me.

And I will never be set free

As long as I'm a ghost that you can't see." 

Don't be a ghost of yourself to them....

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it1

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

If You Could Read My Mind

©1969 by Gordon Lightfoot

If you could read my mind, love,

What a tale my thoughts could tell.

Just like an old time movie,

'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.

In a castle dark or a fortress strong,

With chains upon my feet.

You know that ghost is me.

And I will never be set free

As long as I'm a ghost that you can't see. 

If I could read your mind, love,

What a tale your thoughts could tell.

Just like a paperback novel,

The kind the drugstores sell.

Then you reached the part where the heartaches come,

The hero would be me.

But heroes often fail,

And you won't read that book again

Because the ending's just too hard to take! 

I'd walk away like a movie star

Who gets burned in a three way script.

Enter number two:

A movie queen to play the scene

Of bringing all the good things out in me.

But for now, love, let's be real;

I never thought I could feel this way

And I've got to say that I just don't get it.

I don't know where we went wrong,

But the feeling's gone

And I just can't get it back. 

If you could read my mind, love,

What a tale my thoughts could tell.

Just like an old time movie,

'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.

In a castle dark or a fortress strong.

With chains upon my feet.

But stories always end,

And if you read between the lines,

You'd know that I'm just tryin' to understand

The feelin's that you lack.

I never thought I could feel this way

And I've got to say that I just don't get it.

I don't know where we went wrong,

But the feelin's gone

And I just can't get it back!

Song: If You Could Read My Mind 

Gordon Lightfoot: If You Could Read My Mind | Official Trailer

PTSD and more changes for seniors

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 8, 2021 

Cross Posted on Wounded Times

I am writing my 4th book and needed address something in the first chapter so that I could move onto the rest of the book, based on PTSD Patrol. The thing I needed to address was the "strange changes" I had gone through, from survivor, to advocate, to expert and all the way back to denial. I wasn't denying the reality of PTSD. I was denying I had it. You can read it on I didn't really escape surviving unscarred.

That is why today the featured video is, David Bowie, Changes. This is going up on PTSD and Wounded Times because most of the time when you have mild PTSD, you can stuff it, push it out of the way, ignore it by keeping busy, but it is still there. When you reach retirement age, it can hit you like a ton of bricks because while you convinced yourself that you were unscarred, it turns out you just let the scar fester.

It is OK to be surprised it happened, especially if no one told you it could. It is not OK to be ashamed of it, because there is nothing wrong with being a survivor. I'm OK with admitting it and you should be too.

So it is our turn to face the strange changes in us. To use all our knowledge to do what we always did without noticing...surviving this change too. We know that life comes with many changes and challenges. You don't get to reach retirement age without them. Let's face it. Just considering all the changes our bodies go through...this is just one more change.

The good news is, we have plenty of time to do something about it. Our kids are grown. We don't have to get up early and go to work and then come home exhausted after trying to keep up with younger workers and traffic jams. This is supposed to be our time to "enjoy the fruits of our labor" and not pay for having survived this long.

Spend time learning the rules of this road the same way you leaned how to drive your vehicle back in the early days. Remember what it was like to feel that sense of freedom when you were in the car for the first time by yourself? It was great...mixed with some nervousness. This is like that too but just as you became more confident in control of that vehicle...you'll be more confident in control of the vehicle you life on.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Changes

David Bowie

Oh, yeah

Mmm

Still don't know what I was waitin' for

And my time was runnin' wild

A million dead end streets and

Every time I thought I'd got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet

So I turned myself to face me

But I've never caught a glimpse

How the others must see the faker

I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Don't want to be a richer man

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

There's gonna have to be a different man

Time may change me

But I can't trace time

Mmm, yeah

I watch the ripples change their size

But never leave the stream

Of warm impermanence

And so the days float through my eyes

But still the days seem the same

And these children that you spit on

As they try to change their worlds

Are immune to your consultations

They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Don't tell them to grow up and out of it

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Where's your shame?

You've left us up to our necks in it

Time may change me

But you can't trace time

Strange fascinations fascinate me 

Ah, changes are taking

The pace I'm goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Ooh, look out, you rock 'n' rollers

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Pretty soon now you're gonna get older

Time may change me

But I can't trace time

I said that time may change me

But I can't trace time

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: David Bowie

Changes lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG Rights Management, DistroKid, Tintoretto Music 

Get Undivided with yourself

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 7, 2021

I have been reading a lot about how a many of the people who attacked the Capitol were veterans. I can't help but wonder what would make them do such an evil thing after being ready to die for this country...they just attacked. Good time to discuss something we haven't before, becoming evil.

One of the things we don't talk enough about is feeling like you are suddenly evil because you have PTSD. It is very common, but few talk about it.

When you survive, and PTSD hits, it is part of the package, along with paranoia and rage. When these things collide, they feed all the negative things that were already in you. Face it, we are all capable of all the terrible things that are in everyone else. It doesn't have to be permanently part of the deal. The truth is, most of us, have stronger feelings based on what is best about humanity.

Being exposed to evil events can feed the thoughts that you are becoming that because it takes hold of you. You tend to forget about all the good inside of you, and then you think it is all gone because the bad feelings grow stronger. You are basically at war with yourself.

All the good that was there all along is still there, but you cannot feel it. You don't try to find those emotions again, because you stopped looking for them. They are all still there but while you may say you want to go back to the way you were before, you have to realize that is impossible. You changed the you became a survivor of whatever caused PTSD to strike you. The other truth is that once you get it all connected again, you make peace within yourself and the good feelings you had, can be even stronger.

"I think it's time to come together

You and I can make a change

Maybe we can make a difference

Make the world a better place

Look around and love somebody

We've been hateful long enough

Let the Good Lord reunite us

'Til this country that we love's

Undivided (yeah)" 

Today the featured video is Undivided by Tim McGraw and Tyler Hubbard. It is time to stop being divided within yourself. Stop being at war with what you really believe is the right way to live and start living it. Letting evil grow more powerful inside of you, is a betrayal of your core beliefs. 

It is the only way to stop treating people in your life like the enemy. Stop destroying one relationship, starting another and then destroying that one too. Until you figure out what should actually have power over your life, you will be miserable in all you do.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Undivided

Tim McGraw and Tyler Hubbard 

You see, Billy got picked on at school

For things he couldn't change

He tried his best to play it cool

But in the seventh grade

You either fit right in or you don't fit

That's just the cold hard truth

I wish that I'd have been the friend

That Billy never knew

I think it's time to come together

You and I can make a change

Maybe we can make a difference

Make the world a better place

Look around and love somebody

We've been hateful long enough

Let the Good Lord reunite us

'Til this country that we love's

Undivided (yeah)

You either go to church or you gonna go to Hell

Get a job and work or you gonna go to jail

I just kinda wish we didn't think like that

Why's it gotta be all white or all black?

And when we gon' learn to try on someone's shoes sometimes? (That's right)

When we gon' start to see from someone else's eyes?

I think it's time to come together

You and I can make a change

Maybe we can make a difference

Make the world a better place

Look around and love somebody

We've been hateful long enough

Let the Good Lord reunite us

'Til this country that we love's

Undivided (oh, yeah, ay)

Undivided, oh yeah

We're all the same to God

No matter what we get His love

I'm tired of lookin' left or right

So I'm just lookin' up

I think it's time to come together

You and I can make a change

Maybe we can make a difference

Make the world a better place

Look around and love somebody

We've been hateful long enough (hateful long enough)

Let the Good Lord reunite us

'Til this country that we love's

Undivided (come on)

Oh yeah, ayy

Undivided, oh yeah

Oh yeah

(Get a job and work or you gonna go to jail)

Undivided

(I just kinda wish we didn't think like that)

Yep

Why's it gotta be all white or all black?

Source: Musixmatch 

Official music video for Tim McGraw and Tyler Hubbard's "Undivided"