Are you following your turn signals?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 12, 2021

When you are lucky enough to know your purpose in life, it can come with a lot of heartache. It can also come with an inner peace if you look at your purposed in the right way.

A friend of mine is a Presbyterian Minister. She preaches at a church, but she also does a weekly sermon on YouTube called Geeks Of Fatih. These sermons are for those who feel they do not belong in a church but belong in the group of like minded Science Fiction fans. They are blended with that, plus current events and Bible passages. She saw a need and while she was still living her purpose, she adapted to meet that need.

I worked with her for a couple of years while I was Administrator of Christian Ed and she was the youth pastor. She is filling her purpose in the church the same as she is filling it online to this group, filled with  love and true compassion. 

For many years my purpose was to help others after surviving trauma. For 38 years it was helping veterans and their families, then military members, followed by first responders. Because of the pandemic, knowing there were already over 8 million in the US with diagnosed PTSD, it was necessary to open up to help everyone dealing with surviving trauma. My purpose didn't change but over the years, I had to adapt to meet the needs too.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

Ecclesiastes 3

There are some people who are doing exactly what they were called to do but it is hard when they look at it the wrong way. I am guilty of that myself from time to time. I get angry when I discover my work being used by others, as if it was theirs to just take. But when I get my ego out of the way, I have peace.

Look at it this way. Our purpose has limits. John the Baptist had the job to prepare the way for Jesus, but not to be Jesus. When Jesus sent out the 12 Disciples everyone knows because they were named in the Bible, He also sent out 72 with them. No one knows their names but they are responsible for clearing the way for Christianity to spread.

10 After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2 He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.
Luke 10

Do you think they looked back on their lives and thought it was wasted? No because they saw the people face to face, knowing their lives changed because of them. They knew that those people, would also change the lives of others they came in contact with.

All of us can't be superstars or famous or rich. It is not the job of all of us to be the leader of the parades, but all parades need someone to decide where to march and clear the way for the others to get from one place to another.

Are you following your turn signals?

That is why today, the featured video is The Byrds, Turn, Turn, Turn. Live your purpose no matter who supports you because of the One Who Sent You to do it!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Turn! Turn! Turn!

The Byrds

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down

A time to dance, a time to mourn

A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate

A time of war, a time of peace

A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose

A time to rend, a time to sew

A time for love, a time for hate

A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Peter Seeger

Turn! Turn! Turn! lyrics © T.R.O. Inc. 

If you want to live a happy life...

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 11, 2021 

There are so many things people are missing because of the pandemic. New parents are sad because they did not get to celebrate the birth of their babies the way they thought it would always be like. They thought they'd be surrounded by family and friends sharing their joy with them, but face isolation, depending on social media to connect them from a distance. The same is being done for other events, like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and yes, even funerals.

For others, who in their normal lives, they were sociable, and thrived interacting with others face to face. They looked forward to being active in the groups that fed their souls, and now they have to rely on someone deciding to do a Zoom meeting, instead of being able to hug someone.  (I'm a hugger and it sucks.)

For others, they reach out on social media, knowing with so many people listed among their "friends" they are sure to have many people reaching back to comfort them. They share, get some responses from a few, then wonder why they have so many they are sharing their lives with online, only to discover, they were not really their friends.

Against the Wind, by Bob Seger

The years rolled slowly past

And I found myself alone

Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends

I found myself further and further from my home, and I

Guess I lost my way

There were oh-so-many roads

I was living to run and running to live

Never worried about paying or even how much I owed

Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time

Breaking all of the rules that would bend

I began to find myself searching

Searching for shelter again and again 

When you realize you were surrounded by people you only thought were your friends, it hurts. You think about all the time you spent with them, and enjoyed their company because you thought they cared about you. But when you needed them to show you how much they did care, they walked away from you.

It happened more times than I can count, while it is easy to count on the few friends I do have, because I can always count on them. Those are the friends I try to think about so I can forget the ones who turned out to be nothing more than people I knew.

I got tired of trying to figure out what I did wrong when I was used, betrayed and ignored. I got tired of beating myself up for telling the truth because some of them needed hear it and they attacked me because they didn't want to hear it. It was hard, but I got over it because I got over them.

I take comfort in knowing that I did the right things for the right reasons and do not regret what I did for them. Doing the right thing has never been wrong, even though other people mistreat you for doing it. I know I can rest well at night knowing it was their problem, instead of going against my core beliefs of what was the right thing to do. And I hold my head up high.

That is why the featured video today is Argent, Hold Your Head Up. I can take what comes into my life because of the things I do with my life.

I spent almost 4 decades trying to help people, fellow survivors of trauma heal. I never figured out how to get financial support to keep doing it, even though I asked for help over and over again, but no one found it valuable enough to support, but those who gained popularity ended up getting their financial support instead of me, when they knew me personally. 

I prayed that God would send someone to help me. Many people came into my life and I trusted that was how God answered my prayers. Soon they proved that they may have been sent by God to help me, but they ended up only interested in helping themselves.

Through all of it, all the heartache and self-doubt, feeling like I failed and deserved to be treated this way for a time, the truth kept me going and I held my head up high. While some measure success by how popular you are, how much money you have or how many followers you have on social media, I measure it a different way.

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." Albert Einstein

If you have PTSD, the goal should be healing so you can live a happier life. If you live with someone with PTSD, the goal should be to help them be happier, so you can be too. The rest will come one day because you put the priority on possibilities. Then you can measure success by sharing more joys and many more years together.

I measure it by lives I've saved. To know that I made a difference to them. To know how I treated others better than they treated me. I measure it by knowing that no matter how many roadblocks are put in front of me, there are thousands of others behind me I managed to get over. You can too!

If you want to share your joy, then be joyful of what you have to share with those you can. If you want to find support for what you are lacking, then accept the support you do receive as a blessing. Measure your life by what you give and not by what you get back.

These are difficult times where lies and liars no longer have any shame in them. Family members betray others because they like the lies they hear. They will awaken to the reality that others were telling them the truth all along and some will feel ashamed. If they ask for forgiveness, then forgive them. All the harm they did to you will no longer have power over your life or a place in your soul where love lives.

Hold your head up to get through the trying times and know that better days are coming...

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Hold Your Head Up

Argent 

And if it's there

Don't let it get you down,

You can take it.

And if it hurts

Don't let them see you cry,

You can make it.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

And if they stare

Just let them burn their eyes

On you moving.

And if they shout

Don't let it change a thing

That you're doing.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

And if they stare

Just let them burn their eyes

On you moving.

And if they shout

Don't let it change a thing

That you're doing.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Bouwens 

Hope drug works

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
Feburary 10, 2021

If you have PTSD and are in treatment, then you may be given some drug...or drugs. If you are not, then your drug of choice is whatever you decide to self medicate with. Then there is another type of drug that works better to offer a happier road ahead.

If you are on medication, it may not be working as good as it should or you are having a hard time with side effects that come with it. Someone you know may be doing great on it, but you're not. That's OK. You are not your buddy. You doctor needs to know how you are feeling so they can change what you are on. That is why there are many different drugs for the same condition...no matter what it is.

If you are not in therapy, then you may be self-medicating. Using street drugs or alcohol to get numb, high or pass out because you cannot sleep. All that does it cost you a lot of money, cause trouble with every part of your life and may even shorten your life. It is not making you happier or healthier. Most of the time it may even be making you more miserable, especially if your drug of choice is alcohol. That is one of the biggest reasons you are told to stop drinking if you are on medication for PTSD.

The other type of drug is natural. I call it the Hope Drug and it works. When you have hope that you can be happier, it lifts you up. You have a reason to get up in the morning. That is what we're doing everyday on PTSD Patrol.

Knowing that it will be OK to actually feel things again is a head rush. It won't be just feeling miserable and you'll look forward to actually feeling good things again...because you know you can.

That is why today the featured video is Huey Lewis I Want A New Drug. That is why I am prescribing hope for you today...and everyday!

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I Want A New Drug

Huey Lewis

I want a new drug, one that won't make me sick

One that won't make me crash my car

Or make me feel three-feet thick

I want a new drug, one that won't hurt my head

One that won't make my mouth too dry

Or make my eyes too red

One that won't make me nervous

Wonderin' what to do

One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

When I'm alone with you

I want a new drug, one that won't spill

One that don't cost too much

Or come in a pill

I want a new drug, one that won't go away

One that won't keep me up all night

One that won't make me sleep all day

One that won't make me nervous

Wonderin' what to do

One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

I'm alone with you, baby

I'm alone with you, baby

I want a new drug, one that does what it should

One that won't make me feel too bad

One that won't make me feel too good

I want a new drug, one with no doubt

One that won't make me talk to much

Or make my face breakout

One that won't make me nervous

Wonderin' what to do

One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

I'm alone with you

I'm alone with you, yeah, yeah

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Christopher John Hayes / Huey Lewis

I Want a New Drug lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

Don't be a ghost of yourself to them....

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 9, 2021

If you have PTSD, and are afraid of letting the people in your life know what is on your mind...you are making a big mistake. While they cannot read your mind, in their own mind, they are making up their own stories about how you are acting. You gave them no other choice because you won't tell them what they need to know.

The see the changes in you, but they don't know where those changes are coming from. They end up wondering what they did wrong. Kids wonder why Mom or Dad is acting that way again. If you don't want to hurt them by opening up, then you already are.

You don't have to tell them everything that is going on inside of you if you are afraid they will judge you or won't be able to handle it. They won't know what to do with too much information and that is what a therapist is for. All you need to do is share the basics with them so they won't blame themselves or jump to a conclusion about you that is wrong.

Hiding it won't help you heal. It will only make your family more distant. Pushing them away so they won't see your pain, won't help you heal. Letting them know will make all the difference especially if you are carrying a ghost they can't see.

This is why today the featured video is Gordon Lightfoot, If You Could Read My Mind. He wrote it after getting divorced.

"If you could read my mind, love,

What a tale my thoughts could tell.

Just like an old time movie,

'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.

In a castle dark or a fortress strong,

With chains upon my feet.

You know that ghost is me.

And I will never be set free

As long as I'm a ghost that you can't see." 

Don't be a ghost of yourself to them....

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it1

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

If You Could Read My Mind

©1969 by Gordon Lightfoot

If you could read my mind, love,

What a tale my thoughts could tell.

Just like an old time movie,

'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.

In a castle dark or a fortress strong,

With chains upon my feet.

You know that ghost is me.

And I will never be set free

As long as I'm a ghost that you can't see. 

If I could read your mind, love,

What a tale your thoughts could tell.

Just like a paperback novel,

The kind the drugstores sell.

Then you reached the part where the heartaches come,

The hero would be me.

But heroes often fail,

And you won't read that book again

Because the ending's just too hard to take! 

I'd walk away like a movie star

Who gets burned in a three way script.

Enter number two:

A movie queen to play the scene

Of bringing all the good things out in me.

But for now, love, let's be real;

I never thought I could feel this way

And I've got to say that I just don't get it.

I don't know where we went wrong,

But the feeling's gone

And I just can't get it back. 

If you could read my mind, love,

What a tale my thoughts could tell.

Just like an old time movie,

'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.

In a castle dark or a fortress strong.

With chains upon my feet.

But stories always end,

And if you read between the lines,

You'd know that I'm just tryin' to understand

The feelin's that you lack.

I never thought I could feel this way

And I've got to say that I just don't get it.

I don't know where we went wrong,

But the feelin's gone

And I just can't get it back!

Song: If You Could Read My Mind 

Gordon Lightfoot: If You Could Read My Mind | Official Trailer

PTSD and more changes for seniors

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 8, 2021 

Cross Posted on Wounded Times

I am writing my 4th book and needed address something in the first chapter so that I could move onto the rest of the book, based on PTSD Patrol. The thing I needed to address was the "strange changes" I had gone through, from survivor, to advocate, to expert and all the way back to denial. I wasn't denying the reality of PTSD. I was denying I had it. You can read it on I didn't really escape surviving unscarred.

That is why today the featured video is, David Bowie, Changes. This is going up on PTSD and Wounded Times because most of the time when you have mild PTSD, you can stuff it, push it out of the way, ignore it by keeping busy, but it is still there. When you reach retirement age, it can hit you like a ton of bricks because while you convinced yourself that you were unscarred, it turns out you just let the scar fester.

It is OK to be surprised it happened, especially if no one told you it could. It is not OK to be ashamed of it, because there is nothing wrong with being a survivor. I'm OK with admitting it and you should be too.

So it is our turn to face the strange changes in us. To use all our knowledge to do what we always did without noticing...surviving this change too. We know that life comes with many changes and challenges. You don't get to reach retirement age without them. Let's face it. Just considering all the changes our bodies go through...this is just one more change.

The good news is, we have plenty of time to do something about it. Our kids are grown. We don't have to get up early and go to work and then come home exhausted after trying to keep up with younger workers and traffic jams. This is supposed to be our time to "enjoy the fruits of our labor" and not pay for having survived this long.

Spend time learning the rules of this road the same way you leaned how to drive your vehicle back in the early days. Remember what it was like to feel that sense of freedom when you were in the car for the first time by yourself? It was great...mixed with some nervousness. This is like that too but just as you became more confident in control of that vehicle...you'll be more confident in control of the vehicle you life on.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Changes

David Bowie

Oh, yeah

Mmm

Still don't know what I was waitin' for

And my time was runnin' wild

A million dead end streets and

Every time I thought I'd got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet

So I turned myself to face me

But I've never caught a glimpse

How the others must see the faker

I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Don't want to be a richer man

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

There's gonna have to be a different man

Time may change me

But I can't trace time

Mmm, yeah

I watch the ripples change their size

But never leave the stream

Of warm impermanence

And so the days float through my eyes

But still the days seem the same

And these children that you spit on

As they try to change their worlds

Are immune to your consultations

They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Don't tell them to grow up and out of it

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Where's your shame?

You've left us up to our necks in it

Time may change me

But you can't trace time

Strange fascinations fascinate me 

Ah, changes are taking

The pace I'm goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Ooh, look out, you rock 'n' rollers

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Pretty soon now you're gonna get older

Time may change me

But I can't trace time

I said that time may change me

But I can't trace time

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: David Bowie

Changes lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG Rights Management, DistroKid, Tintoretto Music