Did you let yourself know you matter in your own life?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 15, 2021

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. We let those we love know how we feel about them. Was there someone you forgot about?

When we are born, the first love we have is for our mothers. After all, we know them inside...and out. Soon we love our fathers. We grow to love brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins. As we get older, we grow to love our friends. We learn to trust and share our lives. We do not always share our hearts.

Did you ever learn to love yourself? Did you let yourself know you matter in your own life?

I thought a lot about love songs yesterday. The one that kept popping into my brain was The Carpenters Only Yesterday. There are a lot of people who are lonely. You may feel there is nothing lovable about you, especially if you have had bad relationships in the past. It could have come as betrayal from a friend, or family member, or someone you gave your heart to. 

Did you ever give your heart to yourself? After all, you know you inside and out. You know all your flaws as well as you know all your qualities. You know what you went through, maybe even still going through, but you also know what remains inside of you that feeds hope of a brighter day.

Isn't it time you sang this song to yourself about yourself? Who else can know you better? Who else can show you how to "leave the past and all its tears behind" you?

When you have PTSD, the feeling of not being worthy of someone loving you, is a hard one to stop if the people you had in your life, pushed you away. Take a good look at the way the relationship was. Did you push them away first? Did you give them a chance to know what pain you were going through? Did you give them a chance to help you?

Did you end up hurting them because they didn't know what changed in you? Forgive them and forgive yourself.

Love yourself enough to believe you deserve to be happier. Love yourself enough to do more than hope for someone to come into your life to make you feel loved. You are already in your life and that should be where you begin to feed love so you have enough inside of you to give away to someone else.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Only Yesterday

The Carpenters 

After long enough of being alone

Everyone must face their share of loneliness

In my own time, nobody knew

The pain I was goin' through

And waitin' was all my heart could do

Hope was all I had until you came

Maybe you can't see how much you mean to me

You were the dawn breaking the night

The promise of mornin' light

Filling the world surroundin' me

When I hold you

Baby, baby, feels like maybe

Things will be all right

Baby, baby, your love's made me

Free as a song, singin' forever

Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely

You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me

Tomorrow maybe even brighter than today

Since I threw my sadness away

Only yesterday

I have found my home here in your arms
Nowhere else on earth I'd really rather be

Life waits for us, share it with me

The best is about to be

And so much is left for us to see

When I hold you

Baby, baby, feels like maybe

Things will be all right

Baby, baby, your love's made me

Free as a song, singin' forever

Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely

You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me

Tomorrow maybe even brighter than today

Since I threw my sadness away

Only yesterday (only yesterday, only yesterday)

Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely

You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John Bettis / Richard Carpenter

Only Yesterday lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

For those I love

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 14, 2021

Happy Valentine's Day! Since it is a day to celebrate love, this is a special one for those who serve and suffer for it. There is no greater love than to be willing to sacrifice for those you love. Suffering is not part of the deal and it doesn't have to be, if you consider the reason you are hurting.

The desire to serve was engrained in your soul. It comes from a place of courage and deep devotion. It is what drove you to endure the hardships that came with the job you were among the few willing to do. So why are you paying a price for it? Because the power that enabled you to do what you did, holds the same power to harm you. It is a strong emotional core that caused the desire and to feel the pain even more, but it also holds the power to help you heal PTSD.

If you were willing to die for those you love...be willing to heal for the same reason and LIVE FOR LOVE!

Never regret what you did out of love, no matter how others treated it or you. That is not your problem. It is theirs! Most of the time, they lack the ability to love as much as you do, care as much as you do, and they also lack the ability to feel all the good emotions as deeply as you do.

Use that same strength inside of you to heal for those you love and then, live a happier life because of what you did for love!

Remember...it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I Will Live For Love

Donna Summer

There's got to be a way that I can dream

Simply close my eyes and see

The worlds I've never known

What places that my soul has been 

Sometimes I need to run away and hide

And soar above the clouds and ride

I sail along so high

Till nothing's in my sky

Except the stars that fill my eyes 

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love 

I'm searching for the one who holds the key

To all this crazy life I lead

Through galaxies in time

A solitary star that joins 

Sometimes I need to close my eyes and breathe

Inhale what life's been given me

A passion to ignite

A flaming heart a' flight

I close my eyes

I breathe

I'm free 

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love 

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

"Cause that is when he wrote

Everything I felt for love 

And I will fight for love in life and life in love

And I will hold to things above

I'm strong enough to slay the dragon dead and there 

I will live for love 

I'm taller than the sky

This dream will never die

So only know that I

I will live for love 

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

That is when he wrote everything I felt for love

I will ever fight

I will live for life

I will live for love

Genius Lyrics

Healing makes having PTSD easier but "It Don't Come Easy"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 13, 2021

Today I had to go to the car wash. My car was covered with road salt because we've been getting a lot of snow lately. While sitting in the car, watching all the machines take away all the salt, I thought about someone I know going through a hard time. Then I thought how great it would be if all we had to do was get onto a belt, put our body into neutral and have all our struggles washed away.

It don't come that easily. Nothing really comes easy for everyone all the time. That is why today the featured video  is Ringo Starr It Don't Come easy.

When I was in school, some of my classmates seemed to learn everything easily. The wiz kids who usually got straight A's sooner or later, discovered that something would not come easy to them. Some had a hard time in gym. Some had a hard time in art class. For others, subjects were easy but they couldn't hold a conversation.

Having PTSD is not easy. Healing isn't easy either. The thing is, healing makes it easier to have PTSD. Sure, it can be hard at first, but it makes your life easier doing it. Then you can tutor someone having a hard time with this and make it easier on them too.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and#TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

It Don't Come Easy

Ringo Starr 

It don't come easy

You know it don't come easy

It don't come easy

You know it don't come easy

Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues

And you know it don't come easy

You don't have to shout or leap about

You can even play them easy

Forget about the past and all your sorrows

The future won't last

It will soon be your tomorrow

I don't ask for much, I only want trust

And you know it don't come easy

And this love of mine keeps growin' all the time

And you know it just ain't easy

Open up your heart, let's come together

Use a little love

And we will make it work out better

Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues

And you know it don't come easy

You don't have to shout or leap about

You can even play them easy

Please, remember peace is how we make it

Here within your reach

If you're big enough to take it

I don't ask for much, I only want trust

And you know it don't come easy

And this love of mine keeps growin' all the time

And you know it don't come easy

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Richard Starkey

It Don’t Come Easy lyrics © Startling Music Ltd. 

Are you following your turn signals?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 12, 2021

When you are lucky enough to know your purpose in life, it can come with a lot of heartache. It can also come with an inner peace if you look at your purposed in the right way.

A friend of mine is a Presbyterian Minister. She preaches at a church, but she also does a weekly sermon on YouTube called Geeks Of Fatih. These sermons are for those who feel they do not belong in a church but belong in the group of like minded Science Fiction fans. They are blended with that, plus current events and Bible passages. She saw a need and while she was still living her purpose, she adapted to meet that need.

I worked with her for a couple of years while I was Administrator of Christian Ed and she was the youth pastor. She is filling her purpose in the church the same as she is filling it online to this group, filled with  love and true compassion. 

For many years my purpose was to help others after surviving trauma. For 38 years it was helping veterans and their families, then military members, followed by first responders. Because of the pandemic, knowing there were already over 8 million in the US with diagnosed PTSD, it was necessary to open up to help everyone dealing with surviving trauma. My purpose didn't change but over the years, I had to adapt to meet the needs too.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

Ecclesiastes 3

There are some people who are doing exactly what they were called to do but it is hard when they look at it the wrong way. I am guilty of that myself from time to time. I get angry when I discover my work being used by others, as if it was theirs to just take. But when I get my ego out of the way, I have peace.

Look at it this way. Our purpose has limits. John the Baptist had the job to prepare the way for Jesus, but not to be Jesus. When Jesus sent out the 12 Disciples everyone knows because they were named in the Bible, He also sent out 72 with them. No one knows their names but they are responsible for clearing the way for Christianity to spread.

10 After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2 He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.
Luke 10

Do you think they looked back on their lives and thought it was wasted? No because they saw the people face to face, knowing their lives changed because of them. They knew that those people, would also change the lives of others they came in contact with.

All of us can't be superstars or famous or rich. It is not the job of all of us to be the leader of the parades, but all parades need someone to decide where to march and clear the way for the others to get from one place to another.

Are you following your turn signals?

That is why today, the featured video is The Byrds, Turn, Turn, Turn. Live your purpose no matter who supports you because of the One Who Sent You to do it!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Turn! Turn! Turn!

The Byrds

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down

A time to dance, a time to mourn

A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate

A time of war, a time of peace

A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose

A time to rend, a time to sew

A time for love, a time for hate

A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Peter Seeger

Turn! Turn! Turn! lyrics © T.R.O. Inc. 

If you want to live a happy life...

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 11, 2021 

There are so many things people are missing because of the pandemic. New parents are sad because they did not get to celebrate the birth of their babies the way they thought it would always be like. They thought they'd be surrounded by family and friends sharing their joy with them, but face isolation, depending on social media to connect them from a distance. The same is being done for other events, like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and yes, even funerals.

For others, who in their normal lives, they were sociable, and thrived interacting with others face to face. They looked forward to being active in the groups that fed their souls, and now they have to rely on someone deciding to do a Zoom meeting, instead of being able to hug someone.  (I'm a hugger and it sucks.)

For others, they reach out on social media, knowing with so many people listed among their "friends" they are sure to have many people reaching back to comfort them. They share, get some responses from a few, then wonder why they have so many they are sharing their lives with online, only to discover, they were not really their friends.

Against the Wind, by Bob Seger

The years rolled slowly past

And I found myself alone

Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends

I found myself further and further from my home, and I

Guess I lost my way

There were oh-so-many roads

I was living to run and running to live

Never worried about paying or even how much I owed

Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time

Breaking all of the rules that would bend

I began to find myself searching

Searching for shelter again and again 

When you realize you were surrounded by people you only thought were your friends, it hurts. You think about all the time you spent with them, and enjoyed their company because you thought they cared about you. But when you needed them to show you how much they did care, they walked away from you.

It happened more times than I can count, while it is easy to count on the few friends I do have, because I can always count on them. Those are the friends I try to think about so I can forget the ones who turned out to be nothing more than people I knew.

I got tired of trying to figure out what I did wrong when I was used, betrayed and ignored. I got tired of beating myself up for telling the truth because some of them needed hear it and they attacked me because they didn't want to hear it. It was hard, but I got over it because I got over them.

I take comfort in knowing that I did the right things for the right reasons and do not regret what I did for them. Doing the right thing has never been wrong, even though other people mistreat you for doing it. I know I can rest well at night knowing it was their problem, instead of going against my core beliefs of what was the right thing to do. And I hold my head up high.

That is why the featured video today is Argent, Hold Your Head Up. I can take what comes into my life because of the things I do with my life.

I spent almost 4 decades trying to help people, fellow survivors of trauma heal. I never figured out how to get financial support to keep doing it, even though I asked for help over and over again, but no one found it valuable enough to support, but those who gained popularity ended up getting their financial support instead of me, when they knew me personally. 

I prayed that God would send someone to help me. Many people came into my life and I trusted that was how God answered my prayers. Soon they proved that they may have been sent by God to help me, but they ended up only interested in helping themselves.

Through all of it, all the heartache and self-doubt, feeling like I failed and deserved to be treated this way for a time, the truth kept me going and I held my head up high. While some measure success by how popular you are, how much money you have or how many followers you have on social media, I measure it a different way.

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." Albert Einstein

If you have PTSD, the goal should be healing so you can live a happier life. If you live with someone with PTSD, the goal should be to help them be happier, so you can be too. The rest will come one day because you put the priority on possibilities. Then you can measure success by sharing more joys and many more years together.

I measure it by lives I've saved. To know that I made a difference to them. To know how I treated others better than they treated me. I measure it by knowing that no matter how many roadblocks are put in front of me, there are thousands of others behind me I managed to get over. You can too!

If you want to share your joy, then be joyful of what you have to share with those you can. If you want to find support for what you are lacking, then accept the support you do receive as a blessing. Measure your life by what you give and not by what you get back.

These are difficult times where lies and liars no longer have any shame in them. Family members betray others because they like the lies they hear. They will awaken to the reality that others were telling them the truth all along and some will feel ashamed. If they ask for forgiveness, then forgive them. All the harm they did to you will no longer have power over your life or a place in your soul where love lives.

Hold your head up to get through the trying times and know that better days are coming...

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Hold Your Head Up

Argent 

And if it's there

Don't let it get you down,

You can take it.

And if it hurts

Don't let them see you cry,

You can make it.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

And if they stare

Just let them burn their eyes

On you moving.

And if they shout

Don't let it change a thing

That you're doing.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head high.

And if they stare

Just let them burn their eyes

On you moving.

And if they shout

Don't let it change a thing

That you're doing.

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Hold your head up, oh

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Bouwens