Live for those you love and heal

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 24, 2021

Today the featured video is one I did back in 2012. Alive Day with Donna Summer, I Will Live For Love. I created it when I was working with veterans and their families. It was a few years after I started posting on Wounded Times about the rise in suicides within the military and among veterans. Back then it was thought that there were 18 veterans committing suicide everyday and it was my effort to get them, along with the members of the military to think about PTSD in a different way.

All humans need to think about PTSD and mental health in a different way. Why you didn't see Post Bulletin footage of a suicide attempt? was the headline from The Post Bulletin by Jeff Pieters (May 21, 2021) about a repoter capturing the moment when a suicide was prevented by Police Officers. The reason they made the choice to not release the footage is something that all of us should pay attention to...and oh, by the way, I totally approve!

News reporting that informs you sometimes can hurt vulnerable people. Here's how one coverage decision was made.

As humans in society, we have an interest in our fellow people, the different ways they live their lives, the things that they achieve, and the fates that sometimes befall them. We expect, in our free society, to be informed. And yes, there will be hard and unpleasant stories in the Post Bulletin from time to time.

But when there is a cost to the subject, we have to weigh that against the public's desire to know. Does someone who has a drug addiction deserve to be spotlighted for his or her fairly minor misdeeds? Should the sight of somebody having their worst day — a mental health breakdown on a highway bridge in Rochester — be put on display to thousands of pairs of eyes?

And, as Gayle reminded me, sometimes it's more than the individual who bears the cost of the stigma and shame. "There's so little awareness of the impact on families," she said. "The hidden, invisible and innocent victims."

In the end, after much thought and discussion, we made the choice. We would not publish or post our images of what happened on that bridge.

It is never just the one with PTSD or any other mental health condition, but their families as well. I know what it is like to be "family" as well as what it is like to be the "one" dealing with depression so sever I was praying that God would let me die. It was after my daughter was born and I had walked around with an infection for months before it took over my body. I was in the hospital and so sad about things that I just didn't want to do any of it anymore. (Long story but you can read it in For The Love Of Jack) My husband came into the room when I woke up. He had our daughter in his arms. I looked at her and I knew I couldn't leave her. I decided to live for love.

Part of the reason why I stopped working exclusively with veterans and families was the fact that somehow the desire to expose the fact suicides were going up among veterans and members of the military, so that someone would do something to prevent them, was replaced by people making a lot of noise and money off the fact they were doing it. Prevention efforts were drowned out by the ever crowded growing numbers of people wanting fame and fortune instead of saving lives. Suicide prevention was replaced by suicide awareness. As more and more people were committing suicide, the focus and funding was all about veterans. I thought it was time that all us humans were worthy of living.

Maybe that is why most people decide to fight to take back our lives from whatever we're fighting. The people will love are worth fighting for. That is why I Will Live For Love is the featured video today.

Let it be your alive day and live for those you love by healing and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
 

Dream-a-Lot’s Theme (I Will Live for Love)

Donna Summer

There's got to be a way that I can dream

Simply close my eyes and see

The worlds I've never known

What places that my soul has been

Sometimes I need to run away and hide

And soar above the clouds and ride

I sail along so high

Till nothing's in my sky

Except the stars that fill my eyes

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love

I'm searching for the one who holds the key

To all this crazy life I lead

Through galaxies in time

A solitary star that joins

Sometimes I need to close my eyes and breathe

Inhale what life's been given me

A passion to ignite

A flaming heart a' flight

I close my eyes

I breathe

I'm free

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

"Cause that is when he wrote

Everything I felt for love

And I will fight for love in life and life in love

And I will hold to things above

I'm strong enough to slay the dragon dead and there

I will live for love

I'm taller than the sky

This dream will never die

So only know that I

I will live for love

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

That is when he wrote everything I felt for love

I will ever fight

I will live for life

I will live for love

Genius Lyrics 

Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 23, 2021

A drug addict, a drunk and a homeless man were alone, lost and lonely. Then someone came to invite them to get soaked in the rain. That was probably the only invitation they had in years. The featured video today is Michael Smith, Healing Rain. I bet you thought that was going to be a joke.

Because the pandemic hit only a few months after we moved to New Hampshire, we didn't know too many people. It was really hard being isolated and not knowing our way around. The blessing was, our daughter was already here, which is why we moved. Some friends we had many years lived fairly close and they made it easier, making sure we got out of the house and spent time with them.

We were lucky but too many were not. When you are lonely, your mind takes over, and most of the time, not in a good way. Sad and lonely, you can end up telling yourself that no one wants you around. You look back at your life and all the times you felt like an outcast become stronger than the memories of when you felt as if you belonged somewhere. You may know you need help, but sooner or later you end up telling yourself you are not worth helping.

Then someone comes along to let you know you are worth their time and they offer you hope.

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy

Psalm 107:2

The enemy is no longer what caused PTSD, but it is PTSD trying to take over the rest of your life. When you have it, you feel like an outcast. Lost, hopeless and not worth helping, you give up on others because you gave up on yourself. The thing is, the others who have healed, know exactly what that feels like for you, because they went through it too. 

I was with Point Man International Ministries for years until I started to work with survivors from all causes. They are veterans and work with veterans and their families. Way back in 1984 they figured out that healing had to be done with treating the whole veteran. Their mind, their body and above all, their spirit, needed care. They knew this because they had suffered too. They were lost, lonely and felt like outcast too. Some had turned to drugs, alcohol, and some tried to end their own lives, but they were helped by others who knew exactly what it felt like on both sides of healing. They were there to show the way to get to the better side of it.

Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous work the same way...someone knows what it is like to be struggling alone, but they know what it was like when someone came along and helped them heal.

There are groups all over the country doing the work with other survivors and you can find them by just doing a Google search for PTSD, whatever caused yours, and spiritual support. The thing is, if you try one but find they are not a good match for what you believe, then find another group. Keep looking until you find one to fill your soul, not try to convert it.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Healing Rain

Michael W. Smith

Healing rain is coming down

It's coming nearer to this old town.

Rich and poor, weak and strong

It's bringing mercy, it won't be long.

Healing rain is coming down

It's coming closer to the lost and found.

Tears of joy and tears of shame

Are washed forever in Jesus' name.

Healing rain, it comes with fire

So let it fall and take us higher.

Healing rain, I'm not afraid

To be washed in Heaven's rain.

Lift your heads, let us return

To the mercy seat where time began.

And in your eyes I see the pain.

Come soak this dry heart with healing rain.

And only you, the Son of Man

Can take a leper and let him stand.

So lift your hands, they can be held

By someone greater, the Great I Am.

Healing rain, it comes with fire

So let it fall and take us higher.

Healing rain, I'm not afraid

To be washed in Heaven's rain.

To be washed in Heaven's rain.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Martin Smith / Matthew Bronleewe / Michael Smith

Healing Rain lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management

Michael W. Smith - Healing Rain (Official Music Video)

GOP delivered message that cause of PTSD is no big deal

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 22, 2021

**Warning: If you want to consider this political instead of what it is, then you very well could be part of the problem people with PTSD have been dealing with.**

POLITICS EXTREMISM THE CAPITOL ATTACK WAS THE MOST DOCUMENTED CRIME IN HISTORY. WILL THAT ENSURE JUSTICE?
That is the headline on TIME.

To pierce the mass of people gathered there, each group member placed a hand on the back of the person ahead of them—a military-style tactic prosecutors called a “stack.” The group, clad in tactical vests, helmets and radios, forcibly entered through the Capitol rotunda doors, where James and Minuta followed 25 minutes later. “It’s going down, guys; it’s literally going down right now Patriots storming the Capitol building,” said Minuta, according to court documents. “F*cking war in the streets right now… word is they got in the building… let’s go.”

And now there are members of the GOP House and Senate claiming there was no violence and all the invaders were like regular tourists.

GOP efforts to downplay danger of Capitol riot increase, The Hill

Attempts to whitewash the violence of the Jan. 6 insurrection and cast the rioters as sympathetic characters are becoming increasingly common among Republican members of Congress.

Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) this week said it was a “false narrative” to say “there were thousands of armed insurrectionists breaching the Capitol,” while Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) said the rioters charged with crimes were facing overly harsh treatment in jail and questioned why Congress isn’t also investigating liberal protests over racial justice last year that at times turned violent.

Other Republicans in recent days have falsely claimed the rioters weren’t armed and questioned whether people in the mob were really former President Trump’s supporters. One GOP lawmaker compared one image of the Capitol breach to a “normal tourist visit.”

These lies send the message to everyone there that day and to all the people who watched in on TV, that this threat to their lives was no big deal!

If you want to know what it is like to face death that changes your life...consider the event all of us witnessed. The January 6th attack on the US Capitol.

NBC News’ Hallie Jackson sat down with Rep. Dan Kildee, who took that familiar photo of officers with their guns drawn in the House chamber, for an exclusive interview where he opens up about his mental health struggles since the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.

After The Attack, Slate, Christina Cauterucci wrote about what some of them went through that day and afterwards.

“It is hard to know who you can trust.” — Rep. Sara Jacobs

Rep. Grace Meng barricaded in a lounge at the Capitol on Jan. 6. Photo courtesy of Grace Meng

Eventually, the legislators got a text from staff members that the Capitol Police force was overwhelmed and wouldn’t be coming to save them. In that moment, Meng feared for her life. “Thank God we were fine afterward,” Frankel told me. “Physically fine—mentally, I don’t know,” she said with a laugh.

She’s also gotten calls from fellow members of Congress and their staffers, some of whom she barely knows, to check in on her after hearing what she’d gone through. “And I said, ‘I’m fine, I’m good now,’ ” Meng said. “And then they would just break down and cry, or they would just say to me, ‘I’m not OK.’ And some of these are grown men.”

Rep. Lois Frankel

For days after the ordeal, Frankel continued her work while battling extreme exhaustion, as her body and mind recovered from the stress of being trapped in a room with violent agitators outside. When we talked eight days after the attack, Frankel said it was the first day since the riot she hadn’t felt “totally wiped out.” Meng has noticed that she now feels “nervous” when she hears people she can’t see making loud noises outside the room she’s in. She’s also gotten calls from fellow members of Congress and their staffers, some of whom she barely knows, to check in on her after hearing what she’d gone through. “And I said, ‘I’m fine, I’m good now,’ ” Meng said. “And then they would just break down and cry, or they would just say to me, ‘I’m not OK.’ And some of these are grown men.”

Rep. Sara Jacobs

Jacobs had served in Congress all of three days before the insurrection. When the rioters breached the Capitol, she was in the House gallery—the balcony. The few dozen members of Congress and journalists who were up there with her were evacuated after those on the floor of the chamber, which meant a much closer brush with catastrophe. They were the ones photographed in those escape hoods and comforting one another while huddled on the ground. Some members were trapped in the gallery for 15 minutes or more, watching Capitol Police officers move furniture in front of the doors on the House floor, while other law enforcement officers outside the chamber struggled to clear a path through the rioters for their escape.

There are more but this is about Rep. Jason Crow, who was an Army Ranger.

On the Sunday after the riot, the congressional text chain moved to Zoom. Organized by Rep. Pramila Jayapal, D-Washington, members of Congress who had been in the gallery spent a couple of hours talking to one another and a trained counselor. Rep. Jason Crow, D-Colorado, a former Army Ranger who served three tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, was on the video chat. “What he has shared with all of us is that the surge of adrenaline that he had, and the fear that he faced—that we all experienced—was the same as combat,” Kuster said.

Since the siege, Crow has been vocal about this comparison. After a photo of him clutching the hand of Rep. Susan Wild, D-Pennsylvania, on the balcony floor made the rounds, Crow gave several interviews about going “into Ranger mode” in that moment of crisis. For Crow, that meant preparing for the possibility of having to fight off the rioters. He told me he double-checked the locks on the doors in the gallery and readied a pen as a makeshift weapon. He also considered asking one of the Capitol Police officers in the gallery to lend him a firearm—“You never know who’s capable of pulling the trigger until you’re put in that position … and I know that I am capable of doing that if necessary,” he said—but decided against it.

When he’s in Ranger mode, Crow said, “I just kind of box up my emotions and my feelings and put them aside.” But, eventually, those feelings come out. Crow says he’s been trying to harness the anger, anxiety, and fear prompted by the attack into action as Congress works to hold Donald Trump and his allies accountable for the attack. But the “hypervigilance” Crow remembers from his military service is back—even though it’s been 15 years since he felt it last. “I never thought the person I was then, and who I had to be as a combat leader, would ever come back and converge on my current life,” he said, noting that he’s had two children since leaving the Army. “But that is what happened. I had to tap back into that, and those two lives converged again.”

And now you know the message they are hearing from people they work with. Not only not worth investigating but not even worth their time to pay attention or care about their other members. It isn't just a matter of the threat still hanging over their heads, it is the approval of the GOP members who want to pretend it didn't happen for political reasons. 

I remember what it was like almost 40 years ago when I started working on PTSD and ended up having to deal with deluded individuals denying that PTSD was real. Nothing would get them open their eyes and see the truth. I often wonder how many people they ended up destroying in the process because of their ignorance. Lies make wounds deeper. 

When I hear elected officials lie about what happened, for political reasons, I am sickened because I know their lies cause more suffering. Not just to the other members, but to everyone in this entire country trying to recover from PTSD.

Without accountability and finding out exactly who was behind and involved in all of this, it can happen again. The thing that escapes most people is, the threat that the member of the House and Senate, know all too well it can, will prevent them from healing.

How do I know this? Because the threat to my life did not end in my life until my ex-husband died. There was no accountability for him. There was no closure for me until I got the obituary notice clipping from my cousin in the mail after I had moved over 1,300 miles and more than a decade after that.

For me, it was only one person. 

For members of the House and Senate, it was not just the people who invaded the Capitol seeking to harm and kill them. Oh no, it is now worse because other members they serve with are supporting what was done and attempting to dismiss it all as nothing to be addressed. The members of the Capitol Police Force are also dealing with that fact, knowing their lives don't matter enough for those they risk their lives for, do not even want to seek the truth for their sake.

If we do nothing but let it just happen to all of them, it will continue to cause more wounds. It is time for all of us to demand accountability and hold those who perpetrated this responsible.

To all the members of the House and Senate, their staffs, Capitol Police and workers, seek healing and know that most of the nation is behind you.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

We’re Not Gonna Take It

Twisted Sister

We're not gonna take it

Oh no, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

We've got the right to choose it

There ain't no way we'll lose it

This is our life, this is our song

We'll fight the powers that be just

Don't pick our destiny 'cause

You don't know us, you don't belong

We're not gonna take it

Oh no, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

Oh, you're so condescending

Your gall is never ending

We don't want nothin', not a thing from you

Your life is trite and jaded

Boring and confiscated

If that's your best, your best won't do

Sing it

We're right, yeah

We're free, yeah

We'll fight, yeah

You'll see

We're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

We're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

No way

Yeah

Sing it

We're right, yeah

We're free, yeah

We'll fight, yeah

You'll see

Sing it for me, Jersey

We're not gonna take it (come on)

No, we ain't gonna take it (louder)

We're not gonna take it anymore

We're not gonna take it

Oh no, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

Sing it, sing it, sing

We're not gonna take it (louder)

No, we ain't gonna take it

We're not gonna take it anymore

One more, one more, one more

We're not gonna take it (what)

No, we ain't gonna take it (yeah)

We're not gonna take it anymore

And don't you take it either

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Dee Snider

We’re Not Gonna Take It lyrics © Universal Tunes, Snidest Music Co.

Encourage healing #PTSD, not drinking

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 21, 2021

Did you know there is a difference between corruption and encouragement? Corruption is when you try to get someone to do something evil, wrong, bad for them or to go against what they believe. Encouragement is when you try to get someone to do something tat is good for them, something that will benefit them, especially when they want to give up.

If you have a friend dealing with PTSD, taking them out to a bar to drink their troubles away, is borderline corruption. Wanting them to get out of their isolation and off the couch, is a good thing but that is to where they should go to. Alcohol is a depressant and that is the last thing they need. It may make you feel more comfortable than taking them out for a cup of coffee and spend time with them that way, but this is supposed to be about them...not you.

More often than not, the person with PTSD survived something you may never understand and you may feel uncomfortable listing to them. It is way more uncomfortable if they lose their fight and end the battle by their own hands. Maybe they were the first or second person they called after it happened. You were there in the beginning but there before it. You know them. You'll be one of the first people to see the change in them but most of the time you don't know what it means. You won't until you spend time listening to them.

Do more listening than talking. Remember you are doing this for them. If you don't know what to say when they stop talking, then just put your arm on their shoulder, or nod your head. Don't look away from them or talk about something to fill up the quiet minutes. They may be struggling to find the right words or the courage to say what they need to.

This is why the featured video today is for King And Country, Fight On Fighter. Encouragement is a gift you give that can change a life for the better.

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson (Goodreads)

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Fight On, Fighter

for KING And COUNTRY

I was there on the day that you were changed

You were scared and prepared for the heartbreak

Everything you knew faded out of view

Stole a piece of you

If I could, oh, I would be a hero

Be the one who would take all the arrows

Save you from the pain, carry all the weight

But I know that you're brave

Fight on, fighter

Don't let anyone steal your fire

Fight on, fighter

The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah

There's a part that you hold that you lock down

Let it breathe, give it wings, set it free now

Time to make ya walk, break the prison bars

Show them who you are

Fight on, fighter

Don't let anyone steal your fire

Fight on, fighter

The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah

Stronger than you than you ever thought

I know you're stronger

Braver than you were before

You know you're braver

Oh, no, you don't have to be afraid

Together we'll face it

So don't ever stop no matter what

'Cause you're gonna make it

Fight on, fighter

Don't let anyone steal your fire

Fight on, fighter

The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah

Fight on, fighter

Don't let anyone steal your fire

Fight on, fighter

The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Ben Backus / Ben Glover / Joel David Smallbone / Luke Smallbone / Mark Campbell / Tedd Tjornhom Fight On, Fighter lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Mike Curb Music 

Miracles don't come from nowhere

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 20, 2021

When you pray for something, and your prayers are answered, do you actually understand that God did it? Do you know how God answers prayers? He doesn't just snap His fingers to deliver it. He tries to use other people to give what you ask for. When it is something you need to do on your own, He does it by guiding you to find what you need to. If your prayers are not being answered, you may end up blaming God, when it was not His fault.

Have you ever thought about someone all of a sudden and had an urge to call them? If you do, you discover they needed someone to talk to. You were used to answer their prayers. How many times have you shrugged off the urge and found out something horrible happened to them, and you wished you had followed through on making the call?

Miracles happen all the time but most of the time we don't acknowledge them. We don't understand how God uses regular people all the time because they were willing to listen to Him and act on it. Somehow we end up claiming the miracle came out of nowhere.

The fact you have PTSD because you survived whatever caused PTSD to hit you, is a miracle itself. I've had over 10 of them. To me, it wasn't just surviving it, it was also the people who came to help me after it happened. It was holding onto my faith and letting it help heal me. It was the people who studied trauma and wrote about it long before I even knew it existed, and helped me understand it.

Over all these years, I've saved a lot of lives that you will never know about. It isn't my job to tell their stories or share anything I've done. It is, and was, my job to learn, understand, and be there to help them heal too. 

They prayed for help. I prayed to be of help to them. They followed being guided to me and I responded, or they read what I was guided to write. Their prayers were answered and so were mine.

The fact you found this site is a miracle itself because when I started on my older site, there were not many people doing this work. Now it is crowded and they managed to use social media to promote their sites. 

While I admit I am a bit jealous of them, the goal was to change the outcome and help people heal. I could overcome that jealousy because they are reaching more people than I ever could.

I remember what it was like when I just started to learn about all of this in 1982. I was lost and felt all alone. We didn't have computers back then, so I had to go to the library to learn. When I finally discovered that I was not alone, it was a miracle to me. Still the people who wrote the books I learned from will never know how much they helped me or the others I helped over the years, or the others they helped.

Is God asking you to deliver a miracle or leading you to find what you are looking for?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Miracles Out Of Nowhere

Kansas

On a crystal morning I can see the dewdrops falling

Down from a gleaming heaven, I can hear the voices call

When you comin' home now, son, the world is not for you

Tell me what's your point of view

Hey there Mister Madman, what'cha know that I don't know

Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show

Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away

Tell me what made you that way

Here I am just waiting for a sign

Asking questions, learning all the time

It's always here, it's always there

It's just love, and miracles out of nowhere

Tell me now dear mother, what's it like to be so old

Children grown and leavin', seems the world is growin' cold

And though your body's ailin' you

Your mind is just like new

Tell me where you're goin' to

Here I am just waiting for a sign

Asking questions, learning all the time

It's always here, it's always there

It's just love, and miralces out of nowhere

It's so simple right before your eyes

If you'll look through this disguise

It's always here, it's always there

It's just love and miracles out of nowhere

I sang this song a hundred, maybe a thousand years ago

No one ever listens, I just play and then I go

Off into the sunset like the western heroes do

Tell me what you're gonna do

Here I am, I'm sure to see a sign

All my life I knew that it was mine

It's always here, it's always there

It's just love and miracles out of nowhere

Flash Lyrics 

If you need to see them perform,,,,