the oldest pandemic this nation has ever seen

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 22, 2021

Last year I went to the New Hampshire veterans cemetery for the first time on Memorial Day. As I walked around, I thought about all the veterans in my family who passed away, as well as the two veterans I was walking with. My husband and his best friend are both Vietnam veterans.

When I came upon this memorial, I had to catch a couple of tears falling. The empty place where the service member is saluting, got to me.

It was around that time when I was debating about giving up working with veterans. No matter how hard I tried, or how much I knew, it seemed as if I was fighting everyone I knew in the veteran community. Most of them were latched onto the slogan of "22 a day" and wouldn't let go of the notion that suicide awareness was a good thing to do. How could they believe that letting suicidal veterans hear about others giving up would offer them anything but more despair?

It was too late to change their minds and I had been doing this work for too long to be able to deal with the deadly results of ignorance. My heart was being ripped out every time I read another report of another suicide.

No one wanted to hear what needed to be done, anymore than they wanted to hear about the decades of failures to address the oldest pandemic this nation has ever seen...suicides carried out by those who valued the lives of others so much so, they were willing to die to save them.

I got into all of this in 1982 and focused on Vietnam veterans with PTSD, but the truth is, they had only become the latest generation to join the others going back to when this nation began. What I didn't know back then was there would be more wars.

It felt as if I was fighting this one all alone as soon as people started to read news reports in 2012. Soon after that, the awareness groups started popping up and eroding the ability for veterans to find people like me.

And now, maybe you'll understand why I gave up on what I had dedicated my life to almost 4 decades ago.

read more here

While all the "awareness" people were talking about, a number when they didn't even understand the report it came from, I was talking about changing the conversation. This is from an interview I did in 2012.

That was what they needed to hear, but I guess I stopped being good enough to get them to hear me. 

I fought them until last year and then I opened this up to anyone with PTSD. If you are in the military, a veteran, or a member of any of the responder positions, this work is for you too. No matter what caused PTSD in you, you are still only human like the rest of us.

Today the featured video is Neil Diamond, He Ain't Heavy because helping people with PTSD heal should not be a burden for any of us.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

Neil Diamond

The road is long with many awaiting turns

That lead us to who knows where,

Who knows where

But I'm strong,

Strong enough to carry him

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So long we go

His welfare is my concern

No burden is he to bare, we'll get there

For I know

He would not encumber me

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If Im laden at all,

I I am laden with sadness that

Everyone's heart isn't filled with the gladness

I am alone for one and other

It's so long long road

From which there is no return

While we're on the way to live why not share

And the load doesn't weigh me down at all

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He's my brother

He ain't heavy

He's my brother

He's my brother

He ain't heavy

He's my brother

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: B. Russell / B. Scott

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother lyrics © Music Sales Corporation, Music Sales Corp. 

Thank you for your patience

 

My new site for PTSD Patrol is up and running. Still some tweaking to do, but it is almost where I want it to be.

New email is Kathie@ptsdpatrol.com

While working on the new site, I thought about starting a new blog but decided this one has already been established, so it will remain open.  I should begin to start posting again in a day or so.

Thank you for your patience.

I won't give up if you don't give up

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 20, 2021

Something happened to my site and I am building a new PTSDPatrol.com site. I won't be posting for a few days here while I build the site. It will take some time because I am rusty (and old)

This is what the new site will look like. The last thing I needed was to spend more money on what I do for free! I believe it is worth it after almost 4 decades of making this my life's mission. 

If this work helps you, and you want to help, I have a Facebook fundraiser to help me make back some of the money I just spent. I can't help anyone else if they cannot find me.

Check back in a few days for the notice that PTSD Patrol is up and running. 

Calling All Angels

Train 

I need a sign to let me know you're here

All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere

I need to know that things are gonna look up

'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head

When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I need a sign to let me know you're here

'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear

I want a reason for the way things have to be

I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don't disappear

While private eyes solve marriage lies 'cause we don't talk for years

And football teams are kissing Queens and losing sight of having dreams

In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: James Stafford / Scott Underwood / Pat Monahan / Charles Colin

Calling All Angels lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

I went from zero, to my own hero

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 16, 2021

If someone you know needs help, do you help them? If someone you know needs to talk, do you listen? Why don't you when the person you know better than anyone else, needs that from you? That would be YOU and the best way to help yourself is to ask for help from someone else, the same way you'd help them.

How many times do you need to be reminded of that? If you are the type of person who always rushed to help someone, your emotions paid a price for that. What if you did it multiple times? Did you take care of yourself afterwards or did you just decide to "get over it" and forget about it? Not dealing with it and addressing what you needed to give yourself in return, did not help you recover what you gave away. All it did was zap away more of your strength. If you kept giving more and more of yourself away, it only makes sense that you get to a point where your strength is gone.

With nothing left to give, it is depressing because you still want to help but have nothing to give away anymore. Time to fill yourself up so you can be able to do what you love to do....be a hero to yourself and then you can.

Today the featured video is Katy Perry ROAR!

If you made your living helping others, sooner or later, you run empty. Is it your pride, ego, or arrogance that is getting in your way? Thinking you shouldn't ask for help somehow made sense to you? Seriously? What kind of a message does that send when you are telling everyone else to ask for help and you'll be there if you are never willing to ask for it for yourself?

When you have nothing left to give and cannot help anyone, it is a depressing hell you trapped yourself in. Helping others is a part of you and if you cannot do it, then you are probably making people around you miserable too because they are wondering why you won't help them.

Isn't it time you asked and then set a better example? Then you can tell them to ask for help because you did. Tell them that there is nothing to be ashamed of, because you were not ashamed to ask for help when you needed it. You can also explain to them what it was like when you went from feeling like a zero to hero again.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Roar

Katy Perry

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath

Scared to rock the boat and make a mess

So I sat quietly, agreed politely

I guess that I forgot I had a choice

I let you push me past the breaking point

I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up (hey)

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder, gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up (hey)

Get ready 'cause I've had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter

Dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Now I'm floatin' like a butterfly

Stinging like a bee, I earned my stripes

I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up (hey)

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder, gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up (hey)

Get ready 'cause I've had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter

Dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (you'll hear me roar)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter

Dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (yeah)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (you'll hear me roar)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Lukasz Gottwald / Max Martin / Bonnie Leigh McKee / Katy Perry / Henry Walter

Roar lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Concord Music Publishing LLC 

"Can you imagine how I feel today?"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 15, 2021

"Can you imagine how I feel today?" is a question no one would have to ask if they talked...and someone listened. No relationship can last if they do not talk to each other about a hell of a lot more than dinner or who does what chores.

How many times have you been out to eat and look around, seeing most of the people looking at their cell phones instead of talking to the people they are with? The social media people are getting all their attention but not the person they are with. It is really bad when young parents are on their cellphones while their young child is throwing french fries at other tables. (Yes I saw that a time or two.)

A lot of relationships end with just regular problems. Add PTSD to the trouble list along with refusing to talk about what is going on and you end up causing a lot of imagination overload for your partner. They know you're hiding something, but since you won't tell them, they start assuming it has something to do with them.

If you are pushing them away at the same time you are not talking, which happens a lot, then you may get it sooner than you think when you push them too far away...and they walk away,

Can you imagine how they feel today? Today the featured video is Cliff Richard, We Don't Talk Anymore. 

There must have been a time when you did talk and actually acted like you wanted to spend time with them, not with distractions. There must have been a time when you actually looked into their eyes when they talked to you as if they deserved your attention. Above all, there must have been a time when you trusted them enough to share what was on your mind.

How about you try to do all that again before they walk away from you?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

We Don't Talk Anymore (2001 Remaster)

Cliff Richard

Used to think that life was sweet

Used to think we were so complete

I can't believe you'd throw it away

Used to feel we had it made

Used to feel we could sail away

Can you imagine how I feel today?

Well, it seems a long time ago

You were the lonely one

Now it comes to letting go

You are the only one

Do you know what you've done?

It's so funny how we don't talk anymore

It's so funny, why we don't talk anymore

But I ain't losing sleep and I ain't counting sheep

It's so funny how we don't talk anymore

Oh, we don't talk, ooh

Well, it really doesn't matter to me

I guess your leaving was meant to be

It's down to you now, you wanna be free

Well, I hope you know which way to go

You're on your own again

Don't come crying to me when you're the lonely one

Remember what you've done

Oh, it's so funny how we don't talk anymore

It's so funny, why we don't talk anymore

But I ain't losing sleep and I ain't counting sheep

No, no, no

It's so funny how we don't talk anymore, anymore

Oh, we don't talk anymore

Ooh, we don't talk anymore

But I ain't, no, losing sleep

No, I ain't counting sheep

No, no, no, no

It's so funny how we don't talk anymore, anymore

Oh, we don't talk, oh, we don't talk

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: A Tarney

We Don't Talk Anymore (2001 Remaster) lyrics © Sony/atv Music Publishing (uk) Limited