Wednesday, January 13, 2021

tell PTSD YOU DON'T OWN ME!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 13, 2021

There is so much anger in this country right now that I started to think a lot about the Salem Witchcraft Trials. That was about people being afraid of what was happening, and they were afraid because they couldn't understand it. The next move, was to find people to blame. Maybe that made them feel as if they have some power over it. It was all based on false accusations with no proof of anything.

Finally, the wrong person was blamed, which caused questions to be asked and answered, because it had just gone too far. Justice was  provided for those who had not been tried and put to death, but it did not change what happened, or bring them back and all indications are, the townspeople were forever changed.

The same thing happens when you have PTSD and people cannot understand it. If you cannot explain it to them, they fear it. Then they put you on a mock trial where they want to blame you for the changes they see. Aside from the anger inside of you that comes with having PTSD, you have that added anger built onto all of that.

The first thing I suggest you do is, honor your anger. Not by harming someone else but by writing it down. Get it our of your system. Then take that piece of paper, and burn it. If you don't burn it, then stick it in a shredder, or cut it up into millions of pieces with scissors.

Then think about ways for you to explain it to them. If they do, wonderful. If they don't, then don't give up on the people you know do care about you, and understand their fears. Keep trying.

And then, tell PTSD YOU DON'T OWN ME!


It doesn't get to be in your life and it sure as hell doesn't deserve to control your life. When I was a first wife, to my ex-husband, the tried to kill me and then stalked me for a long time. He didn't own me! He didn't deserve a place in my life. My current husband and I have been together for 38 years and married for 36. That only happened because I took my power back over my own life.

That is why the feature video today is from The First Wives Club, You Don't Own Me. Treat it like you would a bad relationship....tell PTSD YOU DON'T OWN ME!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

You don't own me
I'm not just one of your many toys
You don't own me
Don't say I can't go with other boys
Bette Midler and Goldie Hawn:
Bababababababaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hmmm
Hmmm
And don't tell me what to do
And don't tell me what to say
And when i go out with you
Don't put me on display
Pretty good
I'm impressed!
You don't own me
Don't try to change me in any way
You don't own me
Don't tie me down,
Cuz I'll never stay
I don't tell you what to say
I don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you
Im young
And I love to be young
Im free
And I love to be free
To live my life the way that I want
To say and do whatever I please
I'm young
I'm young
And I love to be young
I'm free
I'm free
And I love to be free
To live my life the way that I want
To say and do whatever I please
No, no
You don't own me
No, no
You don't own me
No, no
You don't own me
Forever, young and free,
Darling you don't own me
You don't own me
You don't own me
Forever, young and free,
Darling you don't own me
You don't own me
You don't own me
Forever, young and free,
Darling you don't own me
You don't own me
You don't own me
Forever, young and free,
Darling you don't own me
You don't own me
You don't own me
Forever, young and free,
Darling you don't own me

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: John Madara / David White
You Don’t Own Me lyrics © Unichappell Music Inc.

Artists: Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton, Bette Midler
Album: The First Wives Club: Music From the Motion Picture... And Then Some
Released: 1996 

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

You've got a fast car racing up inside you

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 12, 2021

There is such power in music, that I wish I had all of them on a list. The problem is, that list would be one of the largest lists known. I don't have a play list, or a favorite group, or even a favorite song that I would now want to let go from my history.

Music has a power over emotions. I could be happy, then hear a song that brings back painful memories. No matter how fast I try to shut it off, it is too late. The bad memory has already been awakened.

On the flip side, I could be in a crappy mood, hear a song that means something to me, and start chair dancing

Queen's message is "Your wish will be granted. All your problems will disappear. Don't be a fool.
You haven't reached your peak.You've got a fast car racing up inside you. Your life is incomplete.
Hang on in there, hang on in there." 

As with all race cars, they are designed to go forward, not backwards. They need a trained, experienced driver as much as they need a well prepared pit crew. So do you! And knowing that, understand that is how you heal #PTSD! Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!



In 2006, I was wondering how I could do something different because no one wanted to read much anymore. Everyone was online and looking to be entertained. Then I saw a music video with lyrics. 

I thought it would have been better if they added in images. The next thing was, it would be even better if a message was linked to the music and images to change the way someone was thinking.

That was when I put together the first video for PTSD. Wounded Minds. It worked because the music mattered just as much as the message and the images.

"Hang On In There" by Queen is the feature video today! The music and the lyrics are spot on but the videos I found were lacking. This was not one of Queen's famous songs, but it is a powerful one. I added in a few more of their videos.
Don't let go
Don't lose your mystique
Wait a little longer
Tomorrow brings another feast
Don't let go
Don't lose your reputation
Thank God you're still alive, ha
You're still in one piece
Hang on in there, don't lose your appetite
Hang on in there, forget the danger signs
Pray for that magical moment (just stay there) and it will appear
(Don't fight for lost emotions)
Wait for the sunrise,
And everything will seem so clear
(Look straight ahead, look straight ahead)
Hang on in there (hang on in there)
Hang on in there (hang on in there)
Your wish will be granted
All your problems will disappear
Don't be a fool
You haven't reached your peak
You've got a fast car racing up inside you
Your life is incomplete
Hang on in there, hang on in there
Pray for that magical moment and it will appear
(Wait for the moment)
Wait for the sunrise - oh
Just wait and see and it will seem so clear
Ba dap bap ee bap bap ba ba bap bap de de de da
Hey
And let's go, let's go - o.k. now do the change now
Hang on
Yeah
Hang on in there, hang on in there
Yeah hang on in there, yeah

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Brian Harold May / Freddie Mercury / John Deacon / Roger Taylor
Hang On In There lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Don't Stop Me Now

Save Me

Monday, January 11, 2021

Don't stay still...walk on

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 11, 2021

Today I was feeling nostalgic after watching all the coverage of what happened in Washington DC. When the Capitol was attacked, my Massachusetts blue blood started boiling. I needed to cool off and searched for videos to remind me how this country started. That was when I landed on the video from the musical 1776, The Egg. (see below)

After that and several more, somehow I ended up in a rabbit hole that brought me to videos on 9 11. Thinking that it happened 20 years ago, yet the emotions flooded me with the same intensity as they did during those dark days.

The video from U2 Walk On, gave me hope that we shall rise up and walk on after this attack too!
When traumatic events come into our lives, we have a time to deal with the shock and try to make sense of it. We go through all the questions and emotional roller coaster ride, resting when we need it and crying when we have to. But then, we decide to stay still, or walk on.

If we choose to stay still, then we do not recover the power we have over our own lives. If we choose to walk on, then we have a chance for our lives to get better, heal our wounds as our scars fade away and rise stronger than we thought we could be.

Much like the founding fathers!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Walk On
U2

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No, they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom
Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on
walk on
Home, hard to know what it is if you've never had one
Home, I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the hurt is
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you feel
All that you reason
All that you care (It's only time)
And I'll never fill up all my mind
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
And all that you scheme
All you create
All that you wreck
All that you hate

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Paul David Hewson / Adam Clayton / David Evans / Laurence Mullenv Walk On lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management 

Just for laughs, the is the video that put me into the rabbit hole!

Sunday, January 10, 2021

DEALING WITH SHOCK IN DC AFTER CAPITOL ATTACKED

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 10, 2021

America is in shock right now. Now is the time to take back your life before PTSD sets in. If you were in the Capitol on January 6th, you need the understanding and tools to help you heal.

The first step is to accept that you had no power over what others chose to do. You do have the power over what you do afterwards. You are no longer a victim of those hours...but you are a survivor of all of it!

Posted on Facebook earlier today

Members of Congress, their staff and people all over the country are dealing with shock from the events on Wednesday January 6, 2021.
Now it's sinking in: Wednesday's Capitol Hill riot was even more violent than it first appeared
(CNN) "As is the case with many traumatic events, it has taken some time for the reality to sink in. "I was in the crowd and didn't realize how bad it was until a day or two after," reporter Richard Hall of The Independent, a British newspaper, tweeted Saturday."

"Only later did it become clear that lawmakers feared for their lives; that some of the attackers were hunting for congressional leaders; that there could have been a massacre."
Shock will remain for a while as you process what happened. Returning to that building, will turn your stomach. As you come closer to it, it will get stronger. Walking up the steps will feel as if you are carrying a thousand pound weight on your feet. Walking down the halls will bring back haunting images of that day. Entering into the rooms you were in before it happened, will fuel a sense of dread. You will have emotional flashbacks. All of your senses will be taken over from then, so you will not feel anything but the way you felt that day.

Now is the time to take action before PTSD has a chance to take hold of your life.

Today on PTSD Patrol, there will be a special post and video about this.

When you enter this place, images will come back as you look around.

As you look at others you serve with, knowing they supported this, anger will try to overcome your sense of trust. It is one thing to be on political sides, and a much deeper level of division when they supported this. Remember, that you were not the only target, so were they.

The invaders were looking for the Vice President, chanting "Hang Mike Pence" while he was there to uphold his Constitutional duties.

Slowly the building will be repaired. Security will be tightened and you will begin to feel safer there. Those who attacked you, are being found and arrested. Considering the news crews were not the only ones filming them, but they provided their own evidence for convictions, they will begin to suffer the consequences for what they chose to do.

The Capitol rioters put themselves all over social media. Now they’re getting arrested.
(VOX) Many participants willingly — and quite happily — posed for photos and videos at the scene, or boasted of their exploits on social media and verified livestream accounts during or shortly after the melee, even though many of their actions may well constitute serious crimes. Apparently believing they weren’t doing anything wrong, or that law enforcement wouldn’t go after them for their actions, the Trump supporters paraded in front of cameras wearing distinct (and thus easily recognizable) costumes and, in some cases, even ID badges.

But you will also suffer the consequences for what they chose to do too.

Nightmares, flashbacks, mood swings, paranoia and anger, will invade your days.

What to do after experiencing a traumatic event(UK Mental Health Foundation)
Turn to others for support

It can be difficult to talk to close family or friends after a traumatic event. You may not want to cause them any distress or may simply want some space to process it all. However, it is important to be around other people when you feel able to, as they can help with your recovery and wellbeing. You do not have to talk to them about the experience. If you don’t have anyone close by to talk to, you can contact one of the organisations below, who will be able to offer further help.

Look after yourself

It is important to look after your health and wellbeing. This can include taking a break or some time away to deal with your experience. You should also try and keep a healthy diet and stay away from drugs and alcohol, which can exacerbate the problem.



Do not expect people you know to understand if they were not there. Turn to those who were with you, experienced the same event because they will understand.

Honor your feelings, Do not think you are supposed to be stronger or better than "this" because you are only human. If you need to cry, then cry. If you are angry, then scream. Honor whatever you need to, so that you will be ready for healing.

Letting out the bad emotions you are feeling, allows the pain to flow out of you so that healing can enter into you. Understanding and accepting what you were powerless to do, will fuel what you are empowered to do.

This is not a contest. One among you may be suffering at a deeper level. Do not judge them because you  will never know what else they have gone through before. Some may seem emotionally stronger than you, but that does not mean you are weaker in any sense. It very well could mean your emotional core is stronger and you felt it more. Just support each other and be there to listen for as long as they need to talk. You do the same for yourself.

As you support one another in healing, you heal together. Human nature dictates that helping is healing to the helper. Ask then for what you need and when you offer help, but they cannot express what they need from you, do what you would need from them.

The building will be restored step by step and so will you!

If the symptoms do not subside within 30 days, you may need more help to heal. Find a mental health expert who specializes in trauma.They are listed by state. It is imperative they understand the difference between trauma and other mental health conditions. They are treated differently because they are different. The only way to have PTSD strike is from trauma hitting you.

Trauma and PTSD Therapists in Washington, DC

Coming Out Of The Dark Gloria Estefan
Why be afraid if I'm not alone?
Though life is never easy
The rest in unknown
And up to now for me it's been
Hands against stone
Spent each and every moment
Searching for what to believe
Coming out of the dark
I finally see the light now
And it's shining on me
Coming out of the dark
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing with me
Starting again is part of the plan
And I'll be so much stronger
Holding your hand
Step by step, I'll make it through
I know I can
I may not make it easier
But I have felt you
Near all the way
Coming out of the dark
I finally see the light now
And it's shining on me
(I see the light)
(I see the light)
I see the light (I see the light)
Coming out of the dark
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing with me
Ever (I stand on the rock)
I stand on the rock of your love
(Forever) ever
(And ever) and ever
Can't nobody stop me, watch me
(Forever) ever
(And ever) and ever
Stand on the rock
Of your love is all it takes
No matter what we face
Coming out of the dark
I see the light
I feel your love shining on me (shining)
(Shining) Yeah, shining on me (shining)
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing
You're sharing with me (I see the light)
Sharing with me (I see the light)
Sharing with me (I see the light)
Sharing with me (coming out of the dark)
I cannot be in the dark
Making it into the light, yeah
Your love's shining on me (shining)
Shining on me (I see the light)
Shining on me (I see the light)
(Shining, I see the light)
(Coming out of the dark)
I see the light
I see the light (I see the light)
(I see the light)
Shining, shining on me
(Shining, shining)
I didn't think that I could take it (shining)
But your love helped me to make it (coming out of the dark)
Coming out of the dark
I see the light now
Yes, I see the light
(Shining) (I see the light)
(Shining) (I see the light)
(Shining) (I see the light)

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Gloria M. Estefan / Jon Secada / Emilio Estefan Jr.
Coming Out of the Dark lyrics © Foreign Imported Prod. And Publishing

This is one of the first videos I did on PTSD for veterans.....

Why be afraid if you're not alone? Life is never easy, the rest is unknown. The song is by Gloria Estefan and the first time I heard it, all I could think about were the Vietnam veterans I spent so much time with including my husband. You are not alone fighting to heal PTSD just as you were not alone during combat.

Saturday, January 9, 2021

I have a problem with the "fix you" part

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
Januray 9,2021

Today the feature song is Coldplay, Fix You. It is about when you want to help someone who is hurting. The lyrics are beautiful but I have a problem with the "fix you" part.

People tired to "fix me" after I survived multiple times. For a long time, I thought that love would "fix me" and people in my life thought they could. They tried to fix me after my ex-husband tried to kill me. Then I realized, I was the only one who could "fix me" and change.

That is how I knew my husband didn't need fixing. He needed support and for me to stand by him, encourage him and try to find the help he needed to fix his life. 

I've seen PTSD from both sides and trust me, when you love someone, you are in the best position possible to help them heal. Love alone cannot do it, but your time, patience, support, encouragement and being willing to fight for them, can give them what they need to start fighting for themselves too.

Those who do, are rewarded knowing that the person they love, is healing, happier and it is because of you!


If you have PTSD, remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! If you love someone with it, then help them do it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Fix You
Coldplay 

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something, you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try, you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something, you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you, I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Christopher Anthony John Martin / Guy Rupert Berryman / William Champion / Jonathan Mark Buckland
Fix You lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Mgb Ltd. 

guide to take back our life

June 26, 2021 The new site for PTSD Patrol  is up and running. New blog posts will begin there on June 27, 2021. This site will remain up.

PTSD Patrol

PTSD Patrol
It is your life, get in and drive it