So where do you find God?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 4, 2021

(part 2 God is closer than you think)

Sometimes when we cannot find something, we search for hours, get frustrated and then find it right in front of us but we just didn't see it. It was there all along. So many people ask "Where was God?" when this happened or that happened. When all they saw was anger, hatred, evil and terrible events, it seemed as if God is on vacation because it happened. If we open our eyes, we find Him in what others do out of love.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. 

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

1 John 4:16

Look back at all the horrible images of events and then read about what happened afterwards. Natural disasters destroy and kill, but people respond to rebuild and comfort survivors. Accidents, fires, mass murders and all other terrible events throughout history caused people to respond in mass to do something out of love.

When you think about whatever happened that caused PTSD, and then remember what happened afterwards when people came to help you, then you know God was there too!

When you take remembrance of your own pain, to reach out to help someone else, that is love.

When you remember what it was like when you were lonely, and comfort someone else, that is love.

Whenever you do anything, no matter how small it may seem, to show someone they matter, that is love, and God is there.

June 12th 2016, Pulse Nightclub massacre

Vigils have been held around the country for the victims of the Orlando nightclub attack on June 12. Thousands of people, including Jennifer Ware (right) and Mary Ware, took part in a memorial in downtown Orlando a day after the massacre. David Goldman/AP

NPR reported on it with

3 Hours In Orlando: Piecing Together An Attack And Its Aftermath

I lived near Orlando when I happened. There were strangers in that club that night doing whatever they could to save others. Some people were showing up and driving the wounded to hospitals. Police Officers and SWAT teams were risking their lives to stop it. After it was over, the officers were talking about walking around looking for survivors with cell phones ringing non stop. They talked about how hard that was knowing on the other end of the phone was someone searching for someone they loved.

One person decided to do it out of hatred but millions around the world responded out of love. Soon afterwards, people were lining up donating blood in huge numbers. We stood in the heat not knowing if there would be another attack against all of us. It was all still being pieced together but it didn't matter. The people who showed up to help knew all they needed to know at the time....other people needed help. God was there too.

Some members of the clergy were preaching about the sin of people at Pulse more than they were preaching about the murderer. Some members of the clergy have a habit of preaching about hatred and judgement, at the same time they mention Jesus, almost as if they have no clue what Jesus preached. When people left those churches, God was there too, holding the door for them to walk away and leave the false teachers to find true ones.

When you realize that any religious leader is only human, you stop blaming God for what they did, and thank Him for opening your eyes to the love He always had for you. If you remember, Jesus prayed most of the time outside and so can you. You can talk to God whenever you want, and wherever you are. Your soul will know He hears you. Then you can help others know where God is, by what you do out of love!

When you act out of love you realize that God was there all along. So where do you find God? Today the featured video is Larry Fleet, Where I Find God.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Where I Find God

Larry Fleet 

The night I hit rock bottom, sittin' on an old bar stool

He paid my tab and put me in a cab, he didn't have to

But he could see I was hurtin', oh I wish I'd got his name

'Cause I didn't feel worth savin', but he saved me just the same

That day out on the water when the fish just wouldn't bite

I put my pole down, floated around, it was just so quiet

And I could hear my old man sayin', "Son, just be still"

'Cause you can't find peace like this in a bottle or a pill

From a bar stool to that Evinrude

Sunday mornin' in a church pew

In a deer stand or a hay field

An interstate back to Nashville

In a Chevrolet with the windows down

Me and Him just ridin' around

Sometimes, whether I'm lookin' for Him or not

That's where I find God

Sometimes late at night, I lie there and listen

To the sound of her heart beatin' and that song the crickets are singin'

And I don't know what they're sayin'

But it sounds like a hymn to me

No, I ain't too good at prayin'

But thanks for everything

From a bar stool to that Evinrude

Sunday mornin' in a church pew

In a deer stand or a hay field

An interstate back to Nashville

In a Chevrolet with the windows down

Me and Him just ridin' around

Sometimes, whether I'm lookin' for Him or not

That's where I find God

From a bar stool to that Evinrude

Sunday mornin' in a church pew

In a deer stand or a hay field

An interstate back to Nashville

In a Chevrolet with the windows down

Me and Him just ridin' around talkin'

Well, I do that a lot

Well, I do that a lot

That's where I find God

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Connie Harrington / Larry Fleet

Where I Find God lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, Goes Something Like This Music, Make It Matter Music, Larry Fleet Publishing 

Wounded Times Reached 5 Million!

This is my other site~

STUNNING NEWS!

THANK YOU!

God is closer than you think

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 3, 2021

This is going up on Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol. Wounded Times is close to hitting 5 million page views. It still gets a lot of traffic no matter if I post on it or not. That tells me that the need is still there. I am retiring from work, but not this work. I am no longer under constraints from non-profits and their rules, so from now on, I will be posting on what I feel needs to be said. Some people will like it, but others won't. While I hope you like it, if you don't, there are plenty of other sites for you. From now on, I'll be posting on both sites, as I feel the need to say something and as always, I hope what I say helps someone.

There are many times we have conversations with someone, and we never forget them. Every once in a while I'll read something or listen to someone, and instantly be reminded of "that" conversation. Today was one of those days.

Years ago I was confronted by an angry veteran. I was at an event, enjoying the music, when he came over to me, glaring at the Chaplain patch on my vest. Pure hatred shot out of his eyes. Once he started to speak it was easy to figure out he had way too much to drink. To this day, I am not sure why I had so much patience with him instead of telling him to go away.

He wanted to know why I was wasting my time on something that didn't exist. Yes, he meant that in his mind, God wasn't real. Like a lot of veterans who had seen way too much horror in the world, he said, "If there was a God, He wouldn't let all that happen. He wouldn't just sit back, let us destroy each other." At one point the thing that haunted him the most popped out. "Little kids starving and getting blown up while that so called God sits back and watches!"

I asked him why he joined the military. He said to serve his country. I asked him if he loved the country or hated it. Naturally he got ticked off then snapped, "I love it." I asked him if he still did and he said he did. I asked him why he still loved it. He responded with, "Because of what this country tries to be. They sent us to defend the people of Kuwait. We did."

I asked him if that was a good reason or a bad one. He said it was a good one.

When people see so much evil, it is hard to understand how a loving God could allow all of it to happen. They forget that He allows freewill from all humans, to make their own choices, to listen to what He says or not, to believe in Him or not and to follow where He leads, or walk away.

We also miss the fact that if they can still care, then God was there all along. It is easy to not be bothered by something if you do not have the heart to feel anything. It is not easy if your soul is being crushed by it. The very fact that veteran still cared about total strangers proved that. God was closer than he thought.

He was inside his soul. Goodness does not come out of evil. Caring about others does not come out of evil.

When we talked a little longer, I tried to get him to understand that. Over and over again he came back with blaming God. I told him that God was there, because people like him risked their lives to save others and would have dropped their weapons if the enemy dropped theirs. I told him that God was there because he was. He cried and walked away. I decided to not try to follow him because I knew he was drinking too much and I never saw him again.

When all you see is evil, that is all you think is there, but when you change what you focus on, you are able to see so much more. I remember the terrible things that happened to me, but I remember those who came to help me more. I remember feeling lost and alone, but I remember what it felt like when I was "found" and knew I wasn't alone in this world. So instead of only seeing what evil thing someone did to me, I focused on what others did for me because God was there.

Today the featured video is Bette Midler, From A Distance. God is watching us, but not from a distance. He lives in all of us and has an active part in all of our lives. When we listen, miracles happen.

If you have PTSD, I am always talking about taking care of your mind, body and spirit...your soul. I hope this fed your soul so that the next time God is trying to get through to you, you will listen.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

From a Distance

Bette Midler

From a distance the world looks blue and green

And the snow capped mountains white

From a distance the ocean meets the stream

And the eagle takes to flight

From a distance

There is harmony

And it echoes through the land

It's the voice of hope

It's the voice of peace

It's the voice of every man

From a distance

We all have enough

And no one is in need

And there are no guns, no bombs and no disease

No hungry mouths to feed

From a distance

We are instruments

Marching in a common band

Playing songs of hope

Playing songs of peace

They are the songs of every man

God is watching us

God is watching us

God is watching us

From a distance

From a distance

You look like my friend

Even though we are at war

From a distance

I just cannot comprehend

What all this fightings for

From a distance

There is harmony

And it echoes through the land

And it's the hope of hopes

It's the love of loves

It's the heart of every man

It's the hope of hopes

It's the love of loves

This is the song for every man

God is watching us

God is watching us

God is watching us

From a distance

Oh, God is watching us

God is watching

God is watching us

From a distance

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Julie Gold

From a Distance lyrics © Wing And Wheel Music, Julie Gold Music

Everytime you stand by someone else, do something for someone else out of love...God is there!
Northwell Health Nurse Choir: Gets the GOLDEN BUZZER with their EMOTIONAL Performance!

make good times even better

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 2, 2021

Happiness sneaks up on you! All of a sudden, all the things you used to enjoy seem even better than before. "Good times never seemed so good!"

That is what it is like when you come out of the darkest hell and heal PTSD. No longer trapped by misery, doubt, paranoia, feeling as if you have something to hide and realize that life can be better than before. Maybe it is because even though you wouldn't admit it, you missed feeling happy, being with friends, doing fun things and yes, smiling without feeling as if you had to force it.

You end up with strange reactions to things you thought you'd never care about again. When we lived in Florida, there were some spatular sunrises and sunsets. Once in a while my husband would go out to the pool deck and scream my name. I'd go running to him and he'd be pointing up at the sky, with the amazed look of a child seeing it for the first time.

Right now, for me, I feel like a kid when I get to do something as simple as get my hair cut, hug people again and see smiling faces.

The entire world got a lesson on what trauma is by living through their own trauma and it was different for everyone. Some people lost all they owned, others lost everyone they loved. Some people were forced to work from home, others lost their jobs. That is what the darkness of PTSD is like. 

When more people go vaccinated, like us, things started to look more hopeful. People started to do the right thing. Instead of just complaining about what they couldn't do, more and more people decided they could do their part so they would be able to do what they wanted to do safely. We've seen the numbers go down on the sickness and death counts, just as we've seen the numbers go up on the vaccinated side.

That is what healing is! It is what it is like to heal PTSD too. You can make good times even better because now you know what you missed. You won't take it for granted anymore and when it sneaks up on you, you get back hope of more good times and good feelings.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Sweet Caroline

Neil Diamond

Where it began, I can't begin to knowing

But then I know it's growing strong

Was in the spring

And spring became the summer

Who'd have believed you'd come along

Hands, touching hands

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

But now I

Look at the night and it don't seem so lonely

We filled it up with only two

And when I hurt

Hurting runs off my shoulders

How can I hurt when holding you

One, touching one

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

Oh no, no

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Sweet Caroline

I believe they never could

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Neil Diamond

Sweet Caroline lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, DistroKid 

"And since I lost you, it feels like years"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 1, 2021

Relationships are hard under any circumstances. Different personalities, thoughts, needs and wants. They require a lot of work. It is hard to stay and can be hard to leave. If you cared about someone, but felt you had to cut them out of your life, it is hard. What makes it worse is, when you discover you were wrong. Being in a relationship with someone with PTSD is hard. It is damn near impossible when they refuse to get help. It is hell when neither of you know what it is!

A lot of people have spilt up with someone they cared about because there was no hope of restoring a normal relationship, or a functioning one. I've talked to a lot of people over the years who were beating themselves up for ending the relationship...most of the time, their marriages. When they realized they were dealing with PTSD in the one they ended up cutting out of their lives, they try to reconnect. 

It has happened, and there were a lot of happy endings with relationships restored, even if they were different. Sometimes there were other marriages that followed, but at least they were talking. That is a great thing if the couple had kids. Sometimes the couple decided to get re-married because love was still there.

Sometimes it is too late for any of it and regrets cannot be fixed. They can only be forgiven. If you didn't know what PTSD was, and tried to get back in touch with someone, forgive yourself. Understand that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Then learn all you can about it to give you the tools to do that. Knowing the cause and what it does will help you understand them, and why you reacted the way you did.

If you are the one with PTSD and you ended the relationship because you didn't understand it, take the time to understand all you can about it now so that you'll understand why they treated you the way they did, as well as why you treated them the way you did. If they won't talk to you, forgive them and yourself.

Today the featured song is The Beatles, You Won't See Me.

You Won’t See Me

The Beatles

While it may be too late to see them...it is never too late to forgive them or yourself.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

When I call you up

Your line's engaged

I have had enough

So act your age

We have lost the time

That was so hard to find

And I will lose my mind

If you want see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

I don't know why you (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

Should want to hide (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I can't get through (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

My hands are tied (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I won't want to stay (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I don't have much to say (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I'd get turned away (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

And you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you want see me

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Yeah!

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Mccartney / John Lennon

You Won’t See Me lyrics © Sony/atv Tunes Llc