"And since I lost you, it feels like years"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 1, 2021

Relationships are hard under any circumstances. Different personalities, thoughts, needs and wants. They require a lot of work. It is hard to stay and can be hard to leave. If you cared about someone, but felt you had to cut them out of your life, it is hard. What makes it worse is, when you discover you were wrong. Being in a relationship with someone with PTSD is hard. It is damn near impossible when they refuse to get help. It is hell when neither of you know what it is!

A lot of people have spilt up with someone they cared about because there was no hope of restoring a normal relationship, or a functioning one. I've talked to a lot of people over the years who were beating themselves up for ending the relationship...most of the time, their marriages. When they realized they were dealing with PTSD in the one they ended up cutting out of their lives, they try to reconnect. 

It has happened, and there were a lot of happy endings with relationships restored, even if they were different. Sometimes there were other marriages that followed, but at least they were talking. That is a great thing if the couple had kids. Sometimes the couple decided to get re-married because love was still there.

Sometimes it is too late for any of it and regrets cannot be fixed. They can only be forgiven. If you didn't know what PTSD was, and tried to get back in touch with someone, forgive yourself. Understand that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Then learn all you can about it to give you the tools to do that. Knowing the cause and what it does will help you understand them, and why you reacted the way you did.

If you are the one with PTSD and you ended the relationship because you didn't understand it, take the time to understand all you can about it now so that you'll understand why they treated you the way they did, as well as why you treated them the way you did. If they won't talk to you, forgive them and yourself.

Today the featured song is The Beatles, You Won't See Me.

You Won’t See Me

The Beatles

While it may be too late to see them...it is never too late to forgive them or yourself.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

When I call you up

Your line's engaged

I have had enough

So act your age

We have lost the time

That was so hard to find

And I will lose my mind

If you want see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

I don't know why you (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

Should want to hide (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I can't get through (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

My hands are tied (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I won't want to stay (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I don't have much to say (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I'd get turned away (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

And you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you want see me

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Yeah!

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Mccartney / John Lennon

You Won’t See Me lyrics © Sony/atv Tunes Llc 

Thank Vietnam Veterans for healing #PTSD

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 30, 2021

Every Memorial Day, I cry more than most people. Almost everyone thinks about the lives lost during wars, but few think about all those who died because of the wars they fought. It also grieves me that most Americans fighting their own battles with PTSD, have no clue that the help they receive, was created because Vietnam Veterans came home and fought for all of it.

While I got involved almost forty years ago, the Afghanistan and Iraq veterans ended up getting all the attention because their generation was coming home, suffering, and committing suicide. The problem was, the majority of the veteran suicides known, were mostly over the age of fifty. In other words, pre-9 11 veterans, but few seemed to care.

In 2015 I did a video with Mike and the Mechanics song The Living Years. Vietnam Veterans Remembered was to let them know that someone was paying attention to what was still happening to them.

When I lived in Florida, I always recorded the escort of the Wall going into Wickham Park. I used that footage along with images from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan because of the lyrics of the song. Too many forget that war they fought and too many do not know they are still fighting it.

"So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past"

No Vietnam veteran wants to take away from the newer generations. They took a vow to fight for all generations. The thing is, they don't want to be pushed aside. It should never be one generation being helped while sacrificing the other generations.

Once in a while I go back through some old emails. This is from 2006 about the book I wrote, For The Love Of Jack. I wrote it about our generation before 2001 and then self published it to help the newer generation that would follow them, and their families. That is something I learned from them...to fight for all generations.

Thank you so much for sharing your pain and story, You have helped me with my family and you dont even know it....As I read your story I was sitting there realising that you were talking about me in so many ways...the way I had become and the way I was headed. And Yes I am a combat Vet, from a long line of vets.......if I could just find out why there is no answers...........But I wanted to say thank you.......

Let the images sink in on this video because the pictures from Afghanistan and Iraq were the only ones people seemed to care about, but the older generations waited longer, suffered longer and still fought for the newer generation so that they would not end up like them.

The thing is, my generation is still fighting so that the newer generation does not have to suffer instead of healing the wounds they carried for far too long. We are retiring and dying off but doing all we can "in the living years."

When Vietnam veterans came home and fought for all the research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they were concentrating on what happens to those who fight the wars for this country. They had no clue that their efforts would end up helping everyone with PTSD. If you have PTSD and are getting help to heal, and you see a Vietnam veteran, say "thank you" to them because you have the hope of healing because of them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Living Years

Song by Mike + The Mechanics

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Oh, crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be okay

So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud)

Say it clear (come on say it clear)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: B.A. Robertson / Mike Rutherford (gb)

The Living Years lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC

Take your passion and make it happen

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 29, 2021

"First when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream, that your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind." The featured video today is What A Feeling from Flashdance. Listening to this song made me very happy because I've been thinking a lot about retiring. Next year, it will be forty years since I had a dream of making things better for people with PTSD. That's a long time for anyone!

I feel so much better thinking about it now because of one of the groups I discovered, using music, a message and trying to save people from suicide. Sounds Of Saving is doing the work I do and doing it a lot better than I ever could.

Songs that save lives
Music has been clinically proven to have a positive impact on mental health. The right song can affect our psychobiological stress system and create feelings of motivation, happiness and relaxation.
We think the world should know that music can fight mental illness.

"Take your passion and make it happen." That is what came into my head when I was reading and listening to what they are doing. When you are passionate about something, share it. If you are an artist and find a new way of doing something, do it. You may not be the best artist, but you can inpsire a better one and the beauty gets out into the world. You may love to write but never had the support or someone to publicize your work (been there and done that) but your words can inspire others and the world changes.

I often think about all the others who were involved with defeating PTSD long before me and wonder how they feel about what ended up happening because of "slow glowing dream" of healing they started when there was nothing before they came along.

The goal is to save lives and help people find a new way to live, healing instead of suffering. With Sounds Of Saving out there, along with a lot of other groups, they will make it happen.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Flashdance...What A Feeling

Irene Cara 

First when there's nothing

But a slow glowing dream

That your fear seems to hide

Deep inside your mind

All alone I have cried

Silent tears full of pride

In a world made of steel

Made of stone

Well, I hear the music

Close my eyes, feel the rhythm

Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)

Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life

Now I know, I got the chance

To reach the top, is so intense

In a world made of steel

Made of stone

Now I hear the music

Close my eyes I am rhythm

In a flash it takes hold

Of my heart

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)

Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life

I feel the passion, deep inside

I got strength, I got pride

In a world made of steel

Made of stone

Dancing, till the end of this night

Like now or never, got strength and pride

When I feel the music I'm losing control

Of my mind, my body, my heart and my soul

Let's go, make this dream come true

For me and for you, we can dance right through

You can have it all, there's no price to pay

Your feelings will show you the way

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)

Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

What a feeling 

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

What a feeling

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Irene Cara / Giorgio Moroder / Keith Forsey

Flashdance...What A Feeling lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

I see myself in a brand new way

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 26, 2021

No one can change a damn thing that has already happened. The only thing in our power is to change what we do about it afterwards. There are many things that can eat away at us, but not being able to predict the future should not be one of them.

I was reading about Bernie and Phyl's daughter Pepe blaming herself for Bernie dying of COVID-19 last year. She stayed with her parents to look after them when things started shutting down. Pepe is going through what a lot of people are, blaming themselves for something they had very little control over.

None of us are super humans. Whatever you think you could have done, or how many scenarios you come up with in your own mind, none of them are humanly possible.

Pepe, like most of the world, was just learning about what the pandemic could do and how it would do it. Nothing can take away the guilt she feels until she forgives herself for doing the best she could, with what she knew, at the time she knew it. Researchers and people were just trying to figure out this new pandemic, so most people knew very little about it.

If you have PTSD, a lot of the time you are also dealing with survivor guilt. That is a heavy load to carry. Much too heavy for anyone and it is time you put it down. That burden is one that should have never been laid upon your shoulders. Besides, you have things to do with the rest of your life to be the best person you can be after surviving.

Stop trying to figure out why you lived but others didn't. That is a question that you'll never be able to answer and was not something that you had control over. You do control what you do with your life.

Heal and be better. Be happier and then pass it all onto someone else who feels just as beaten down as you do. Lift them up. Spend the rest of your life making this world a little better than it would have been without you.

Pepe is doing that. She is speaking out so that other families who lost someone to COVID-19, can find support and gain strength knowing they are not alone. With almost 600,000 lives lost, that is a lot of families who need to know that message!

Today the featured video is Boston Don't Look Back. It is time to see yourself in a brand new way!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

‘A living nightmare’: Daughter of Bernie and Phyllis Rubin struggling with guilt after unwittingly exposing parents to coronavirus
WHDH 7 News
BY KIMBERLY BOOKMAN
MAY 25, 2021

It was March of last year and the entire family was in south Florida for Phyls 80th birthday party. Pepe said she decided to stay and care for her parents as the country started to shut down. She said she believes she contracted the virus at a grocery store and then spread it to her parents.

Her 82-year old father — who in life was surrounded by people — died in a hospital bed by himself.

“Knowing what a tragic ending he had alone – and us not being there – it was just a living nightmare,” said Pepe.

She met 7NEWS at the company’s headquarters in Norton — where sports memorabilia line the walls.

Bernie’s office is just how he left it, filled with photos of his wife, three kids, 10 grandchildren, and one great-grandchild.

Pepe said his death had her walking around in a fog for the last year.

“One of my daughters said to me ‘We know we lost our grandfather but we didn’t realize we lost you too because I deal with a lot of anxiety…and guilt,” she said.  

Now that the country is reopening and life is resuming for so many, Pepe said she is forever changed. read more here

Don't Look Back

Boston

Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'

It's been too long since I felt this way

I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken

The road is callin', today is the day

I can see, it took so long just to realize

I'm much too strong not to compromise

Now I see what I am is holding me down

I'll turn it around

Oh, yes, I will

I finally see the dawn arrivin'

I see beyond the road I'm drivin'

It's a bright horizon, ooh, and I'm awaken

I see myself in a brand new way

The sun is shinin', ooh, the clouds are breakin'

'Cause I can't lose now, there's no game to play

I can tell there's no more time left to criticize

I've seen what I could not recognize

Everything in my life was leading me on

But I can be strong

Oh, yes I can

I finally see the dawn arrivin'

I see beyond the road I'm drivin'

Ooh, far away, I'm left behind, left behind

Oh, the sun is shining

And I'm on that road

Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'

It's been so long since I felt this way

I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken

The road is callin', today is the day

I can see, it took so long just to realize

I'm much too strong not to compromise

Now I see what I am is holding me down

I'll turn it around

Oh, yes I will

I finally see the dawn arrivin'

I see beyond the road I'm drivin'

I'm far away and left behind

Don't look back

Don't look back

Don't look back

Don't look back

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Scholz Tom

Don’t Look Back lyrics © Pure Songs, Hideaway Hits

"the smiles returning to the faces"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 25, 2021

I think I have spring fever! I just got back after being out on this beautiful day and noticing how many people are smiling again. That is what getting vaccinated does. I wear a mask when I am shopping on in enclosed spaces with strangers, but it is off when I am with friends or walking around. Seeing people smile is a wonderful thing, instead of just seeing their eyes crinkle up above their masks. People are a lot happier.

That is what it is like healing PTSD. You do what you need to do to recover and you end up with spring fever too. You get happier. The people in your life get happier. Your family and friends, co-workers end up happier. Maybe they didn't know what was going on with you, but they knew something was happening inside of you. They also noticed when things started to turn around for you.

Today the featured video is The Beatles, Here Comes The Sun. It has been a "long, cold lonely winter." But the sun is coming back and so is your smile.

Enjoy being able to enjoy healing and being happier!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Here Comes The Sun (Take 9)

The Beatles

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: George Harrison

Here Comes The Sun (Take 9) lyrics © Harrisongs Ltd 

Live for those you love and heal

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 24, 2021

Today the featured video is one I did back in 2012. Alive Day with Donna Summer, I Will Live For Love. I created it when I was working with veterans and their families. It was a few years after I started posting on Wounded Times about the rise in suicides within the military and among veterans. Back then it was thought that there were 18 veterans committing suicide everyday and it was my effort to get them, along with the members of the military to think about PTSD in a different way.

All humans need to think about PTSD and mental health in a different way. Why you didn't see Post Bulletin footage of a suicide attempt? was the headline from The Post Bulletin by Jeff Pieters (May 21, 2021) about a repoter capturing the moment when a suicide was prevented by Police Officers. The reason they made the choice to not release the footage is something that all of us should pay attention to...and oh, by the way, I totally approve!

News reporting that informs you sometimes can hurt vulnerable people. Here's how one coverage decision was made.

As humans in society, we have an interest in our fellow people, the different ways they live their lives, the things that they achieve, and the fates that sometimes befall them. We expect, in our free society, to be informed. And yes, there will be hard and unpleasant stories in the Post Bulletin from time to time.

But when there is a cost to the subject, we have to weigh that against the public's desire to know. Does someone who has a drug addiction deserve to be spotlighted for his or her fairly minor misdeeds? Should the sight of somebody having their worst day — a mental health breakdown on a highway bridge in Rochester — be put on display to thousands of pairs of eyes?

And, as Gayle reminded me, sometimes it's more than the individual who bears the cost of the stigma and shame. "There's so little awareness of the impact on families," she said. "The hidden, invisible and innocent victims."

In the end, after much thought and discussion, we made the choice. We would not publish or post our images of what happened on that bridge.

It is never just the one with PTSD or any other mental health condition, but their families as well. I know what it is like to be "family" as well as what it is like to be the "one" dealing with depression so sever I was praying that God would let me die. It was after my daughter was born and I had walked around with an infection for months before it took over my body. I was in the hospital and so sad about things that I just didn't want to do any of it anymore. (Long story but you can read it in For The Love Of Jack) My husband came into the room when I woke up. He had our daughter in his arms. I looked at her and I knew I couldn't leave her. I decided to live for love.

Part of the reason why I stopped working exclusively with veterans and families was the fact that somehow the desire to expose the fact suicides were going up among veterans and members of the military, so that someone would do something to prevent them, was replaced by people making a lot of noise and money off the fact they were doing it. Prevention efforts were drowned out by the ever crowded growing numbers of people wanting fame and fortune instead of saving lives. Suicide prevention was replaced by suicide awareness. As more and more people were committing suicide, the focus and funding was all about veterans. I thought it was time that all us humans were worthy of living.

Maybe that is why most people decide to fight to take back our lives from whatever we're fighting. The people will love are worth fighting for. That is why I Will Live For Love is the featured video today.

Let it be your alive day and live for those you love by healing and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
 

Dream-a-Lot’s Theme (I Will Live for Love)

Donna Summer

There's got to be a way that I can dream

Simply close my eyes and see

The worlds I've never known

What places that my soul has been

Sometimes I need to run away and hide

And soar above the clouds and ride

I sail along so high

Till nothing's in my sky

Except the stars that fill my eyes

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love

I'm searching for the one who holds the key

To all this crazy life I lead

Through galaxies in time

A solitary star that joins

Sometimes I need to close my eyes and breathe

Inhale what life's been given me

A passion to ignite

A flaming heart a' flight

I close my eyes

I breathe

I'm free

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

"Cause that is when he wrote

Everything I felt for love

And I will fight for love in life and life in love

And I will hold to things above

I'm strong enough to slay the dragon dead and there

I will live for love

I'm taller than the sky

This dream will never die

So only know that I

I will live for love

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

That is when he wrote everything I felt for love

I will ever fight

I will live for life

I will live for love

Genius Lyrics 

Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 23, 2021

A drug addict, a drunk and a homeless man were alone, lost and lonely. Then someone came to invite them to get soaked in the rain. That was probably the only invitation they had in years. The featured video today is Michael Smith, Healing Rain. I bet you thought that was going to be a joke.

Because the pandemic hit only a few months after we moved to New Hampshire, we didn't know too many people. It was really hard being isolated and not knowing our way around. The blessing was, our daughter was already here, which is why we moved. Some friends we had many years lived fairly close and they made it easier, making sure we got out of the house and spent time with them.

We were lucky but too many were not. When you are lonely, your mind takes over, and most of the time, not in a good way. Sad and lonely, you can end up telling yourself that no one wants you around. You look back at your life and all the times you felt like an outcast become stronger than the memories of when you felt as if you belonged somewhere. You may know you need help, but sooner or later you end up telling yourself you are not worth helping.

Then someone comes along to let you know you are worth their time and they offer you hope.

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy

Psalm 107:2

The enemy is no longer what caused PTSD, but it is PTSD trying to take over the rest of your life. When you have it, you feel like an outcast. Lost, hopeless and not worth helping, you give up on others because you gave up on yourself. The thing is, the others who have healed, know exactly what that feels like for you, because they went through it too. 

I was with Point Man International Ministries for years until I started to work with survivors from all causes. They are veterans and work with veterans and their families. Way back in 1984 they figured out that healing had to be done with treating the whole veteran. Their mind, their body and above all, their spirit, needed care. They knew this because they had suffered too. They were lost, lonely and felt like outcast too. Some had turned to drugs, alcohol, and some tried to end their own lives, but they were helped by others who knew exactly what it felt like on both sides of healing. They were there to show the way to get to the better side of it.

Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous work the same way...someone knows what it is like to be struggling alone, but they know what it was like when someone came along and helped them heal.

There are groups all over the country doing the work with other survivors and you can find them by just doing a Google search for PTSD, whatever caused yours, and spiritual support. The thing is, if you try one but find they are not a good match for what you believe, then find another group. Keep looking until you find one to fill your soul, not try to convert it.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Healing Rain

Michael W. Smith

Healing rain is coming down

It's coming nearer to this old town.

Rich and poor, weak and strong

It's bringing mercy, it won't be long.

Healing rain is coming down

It's coming closer to the lost and found.

Tears of joy and tears of shame

Are washed forever in Jesus' name.

Healing rain, it comes with fire

So let it fall and take us higher.

Healing rain, I'm not afraid

To be washed in Heaven's rain.

Lift your heads, let us return

To the mercy seat where time began.

And in your eyes I see the pain.

Come soak this dry heart with healing rain.

And only you, the Son of Man

Can take a leper and let him stand.

So lift your hands, they can be held

By someone greater, the Great I Am.

Healing rain, it comes with fire

So let it fall and take us higher.

Healing rain, I'm not afraid

To be washed in Heaven's rain.

To be washed in Heaven's rain.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Healing rain is falling down,

Healing rain is falling down,

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Martin Smith / Matthew Bronleewe / Michael Smith

Healing Rain lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management

Michael W. Smith - Healing Rain (Official Music Video)

Encourage healing #PTSD, not drinking

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 21, 2021

Did you know there is a difference between corruption and encouragement? Corruption is when you try to get someone to do something evil, wrong, bad for them or to go against what they believe. Encouragement is when you try to get someone to do something tat is good for them, something that will benefit them, especially when they want to give up.

If you have a friend dealing with PTSD, taking them out to a bar to drink their troubles away, is borderline corruption. Wanting them to get out of their isolation and off the couch, is a good thing but that is to where they should go to. Alcohol is a depressant and that is the last thing they need. It may make you feel more comfortable than taking them out for a cup of coffee and spend time with them that way, but this is supposed to be about them...not you.

More often than not, the person with PTSD survived something you may never understand and you may feel uncomfortable listing to them. It is way more uncomfortable if they lose their fight and end the battle by their own hands. Maybe they were the first or second person they called after it happened. You were there in the beginning but there before it. You know them. You'll be one of the first people to see the change in them but most of the time you don't know what it means. You won't until you spend time listening to them.

Do more listening than talking. Remember you are doing this for them. If you don't know what to say when they stop talking, then just put your arm on their shoulder, or nod your head. Don't look away from them or talk about something to fill up the quiet minutes. They may be struggling to find the right words or the courage to say what they need to.

This is why the featured video today is for King And Country, Fight On Fighter. Encouragement is a gift you give that can change a life for the better.

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson (Goodreads)

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Fight On, Fighter

for KING And COUNTRY

I was there on the day that you were changed

You were scared and prepared for the heartbreak

Everything you knew faded out of view

Stole a piece of you

If I could, oh, I would be a hero

Be the one who would take all the arrows

Save you from the pain, carry all the weight

But I know that you're brave

Fight on, fighter

Don't let anyone steal your fire

Fight on, fighter

The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah

There's a part that you hold that you lock down

Let it breathe, give it wings, set it free now

Time to make ya walk, break the prison bars

Show them who you are

Fight on, fighter

Don't let anyone steal your fire

Fight on, fighter

The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah

Stronger than you than you ever thought

I know you're stronger

Braver than you were before

You know you're braver

Oh, no, you don't have to be afraid

Together we'll face it

So don't ever stop no matter what

'Cause you're gonna make it

Fight on, fighter

Don't let anyone steal your fire

Fight on, fighter

The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah

Fight on, fighter

Don't let anyone steal your fire

Fight on, fighter

The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Ben Backus / Ben Glover / Joel David Smallbone / Luke Smallbone / Mark Campbell / Tedd Tjornhom Fight On, Fighter lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Mike Curb Music 

Miracles don't come from nowhere

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 20, 2021

When you pray for something, and your prayers are answered, do you actually understand that God did it? Do you know how God answers prayers? He doesn't just snap His fingers to deliver it. He tries to use other people to give what you ask for. When it is something you need to do on your own, He does it by guiding you to find what you need to. If your prayers are not being answered, you may end up blaming God, when it was not His fault.

Have you ever thought about someone all of a sudden and had an urge to call them? If you do, you discover they needed someone to talk to. You were used to answer their prayers. How many times have you shrugged off the urge and found out something horrible happened to them, and you wished you had followed through on making the call?

Miracles happen all the time but most of the time we don't acknowledge them. We don't understand how God uses regular people all the time because they were willing to listen to Him and act on it. Somehow we end up claiming the miracle came out of nowhere.

The fact you have PTSD because you survived whatever caused PTSD to hit you, is a miracle itself. I've had over 10 of them. To me, it wasn't just surviving it, it was also the people who came to help me after it happened. It was holding onto my faith and letting it help heal me. It was the people who studied trauma and wrote about it long before I even knew it existed, and helped me understand it.

Over all these years, I've saved a lot of lives that you will never know about. It isn't my job to tell their stories or share anything I've done. It is, and was, my job to learn, understand, and be there to help them heal too. 

They prayed for help. I prayed to be of help to them. They followed being guided to me and I responded, or they read what I was guided to write. Their prayers were answered and so were mine.

The fact you found this site is a miracle itself because when I started on my older site, there were not many people doing this work. Now it is crowded and they managed to use social media to promote their sites. 

While I admit I am a bit jealous of them, the goal was to change the outcome and help people heal. I could overcome that jealousy because they are reaching more people than I ever could.

I remember what it was like when I just started to learn about all of this in 1982. I was lost and felt all alone. We didn't have computers back then, so I had to go to the library to learn. When I finally discovered that I was not alone, it was a miracle to me. Still the people who wrote the books I learned from will never know how much they helped me or the others I helped over the years, or the others they helped.

Is God asking you to deliver a miracle or leading you to find what you are looking for?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Miracles Out Of Nowhere

Kansas

On a crystal morning I can see the dewdrops falling

Down from a gleaming heaven, I can hear the voices call

When you comin' home now, son, the world is not for you

Tell me what's your point of view

Hey there Mister Madman, what'cha know that I don't know

Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show

Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away

Tell me what made you that way

Here I am just waiting for a sign

Asking questions, learning all the time

It's always here, it's always there

It's just love, and miracles out of nowhere

Tell me now dear mother, what's it like to be so old

Children grown and leavin', seems the world is growin' cold

And though your body's ailin' you

Your mind is just like new

Tell me where you're goin' to

Here I am just waiting for a sign

Asking questions, learning all the time

It's always here, it's always there

It's just love, and miralces out of nowhere

It's so simple right before your eyes

If you'll look through this disguise

It's always here, it's always there

It's just love and miracles out of nowhere

I sang this song a hundred, maybe a thousand years ago

No one ever listens, I just play and then I go

Off into the sunset like the western heroes do

Tell me what you're gonna do

Here I am, I'm sure to see a sign

All my life I knew that it was mine

It's always here, it's always there

It's just love and miracles out of nowhere

Flash Lyrics 

If you need to see them perform,,,,

we will get by we will survive

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 18, 2021

This morning I had a tune in my head and just a few words of a song, "we will get by we will survive."
At first I thought it was the name of the song. Apparently, a lot of people must have thought the same thing beause when I used Google to search for it, it had a differnt name. Touch Of Grey by Grateful Dead came up.

I didn't remember who sang it, but I rememberd how that song made me feel. I didn't remember the lyrics, other than that simple message about surviving, but I remember how it changed my frame of mind.

We tend to do that as simple humans. We may not remember who gave us hope when we needed it, but we remember how it felt to feel it again. We may not remember what someone said that changed our day, but the next time we see that person, we smile. We may not even remember how many people came to help us survive what caused PTSD, but we sure do remember what it was like when help showed up when we needed it the most.

When you watch the video, there is a something in it that reminded me of what it can be like living with PTSD. Without giving the video away, during their concert, they change from being one way, into another, and then back to the way they were before. Having PTSD can be like that too. You go from life as you knew it, to changing and maybe feeling like you're not totally alive. Maybe you need to hide your pain? But when you heal, you go back to enjoying life again. Much like the crowd enjoyed seeing their faces.

You can deliver a message of doom and gloom to others or you can give them one of "we will get by...we will survive" and then help them get there. My bet is you'll take the second option because you not only remember how they felt, you also remember what it was like to find hope and heal!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Touch of Grey

Grateful Dead

Must be getting early clocks are running late

Faint light of the morning sky looks so phony

Dawn is breaking everywhere

Light a candle curse the glare

Draw the curtains I don't care 'cause it's alright

I will get by I will get by

I will get by I will survive

I see you've got your fist out say your piece and get out

Yes I get the gist of it but it's alright

Sorry that you feel that way the only there is to say

Every silver lining's got a touch of grey

I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive

It's a lesson to me the eagles and the beggars and the seas

The ABC's we all must face try to keep a little grace

It's a lesson to me the deltas and the east and the freeze

The ABC's we all think of and try to win a little love

I know the rent is in arrears the dog has not been fed in years

It's even worse than it appears but it's alright

Cow's giving kerosene, kid can't read at seventeen

The words he knows are all obscene but it's alright

I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive

The shoe is on the hand that fits, there's really nothing much to it

Whistle through your teeth and spit 'cause it's alright

Oh well a touch of grey kinda suits you anyway

And that was all I had to say and it's alright

I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive

We will get by we will get by we will get by we will survive

We will get by we will get by we will get by we will survive

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Jerome J. Garcia / Robert C. Christie Hunter

Touch of Grey lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

"It's like a different way of living now"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 17, 2021

"Can't you feel a brand new day?" That is how it feels to heal. A brand new day! Today the featured video is from the WIZ, A Brand New Day with Diana Ross.  When you survived whatever caused PTSD to hit you, you had a brand new day, but maybe it wasn't a happy one. I know it wasn't for me because I had a lot of things I had to deal with afterwards. Mostly, I was questioning why I survived. The thing is, I did heal and rejoiced when that better brand new day came. So can you.

In the end of this video, the factory workers are taking off their masks. It is time for you to do it too. If you feel as if you have had to hide what is going on inside of you, there is no need to cover it up anymore. It is time to find the help you need to heal because happiness is there for you to find.

You won't find it waiting for Dorothy or the Fairy Godmother to show up. You can't click your heals and end up there. You have to go looking for it and then you can have a whole new brand new day when you are happier!

 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

A Brand New Day

Diana Ross

From The Wiz 

Everybody look around

'Cause there's a reason to rejoice you see

Everybody come out

And let's commence to singing joyfully

Everybody look up

And feel the hope that we've been waiting for

Everybody's glad

Because our silent fear and dread is gone

Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully

Just look about

You owe it to yourself to check it out

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Everybody be glad

Because the sun is shining just for us

Everybody wake up

Into the morning into happiness

Hello world

It's like a different way of living now

And thank you world

We always knew that we'd be free somehow

In harmony

And show the world that we've got liberty

It's such a change

For us to live so independently

Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully

Just look about

You owe it to yourself to check it out

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Everybody be glad

Because the sun is shining just for us

Everybody wake up

Into the morning into happiness

Hello world

It's like a different way of living now

And thank you world

We always knew that we'd be free somehow

In harmony

And show the world that we've got liberty

It's such a change

For us to live so independently

Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully

Just look about

You owe it to yourself to check it out

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Can't you feel a brand new day?

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Luther R. Vandross

A Brand New Day lyrics © Wb Music Corp. 

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 15, 2021

Imagine needing help to heal PTSD. You ask a friend a friend if they know how to get there. They tell you that road doesn't exist. They looked for it but never found it. Then you decide that you'll go looking for it. After a while you see a traffic sign that tells you exactly where that road is. You'll be happy to see it but then you realize you never would have found it, if you hadn't looked for it. 

You could end up being pissed off at your friend, or, you could go back and let them know where it is so they could find it too. Would you be ashamed of them for needing help? Nope! Then what is stopping you from looking for the help you need? Isn't it time you saw the sign and tell your friend it opened up your eyes too?

Today's featured video is Ace Of Base, The Sign!

Remember, it is your life...get and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Sign

Ace of Base

Shock!

I, I got a new life

You would hardly recognize me

I'm so glad

How can a person like me care for you?

(Ah) Why do I bother

When you're not the one for me

Is enough enough?

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

Life is demanding without understanding

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

No one's gonna drag you up

To get into the light where you belong

But where do you belong?

Under the pale moon

For so many years I've wondered who you are

How could a person like you bring me joy

Under the pale moon

Where I see a lot of stars

Is enough enough?

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

Life is demanding without understanding

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

No one's gonna drag you up

To get into the light where you belong

But where do you belong?

Oh, oh, oh, oh

I saw the sign and it opened up my mind

And I am happy now

Living without you

I've left you, oh oh oh

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

No one's gonna drag you up

To get into the light where you belong

I saw the sign, I saw the sign

I saw the sign

I saw the sign, I saw the sign

I saw the sign, I saw the sign

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Jenny Berggren / Malin Berggren / Jonas Berggren / Ulf Ekberg

The Sign lyrics © Megasong Publishing 

You have a reason to fight the demon

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2021

I used the song by Disturbed, A Reason To Fight, not too long ago. I saw this video when I was putting up today's video for PTSD Patrol. It is too powerful and when I watched it, I knew it couldn't wait for another day. Someone needs to see it today and I hope it helps! For everyone else, just consider this a bonus video for the day.

Disturbed understands what that pain is like.

A Reason to Fight

Disturbed

The image in your eyes

Reflecting the pain that has taken you

I hear it in your voice, so ridden with shame

From what's hailing you

I won't give up so don't give in

You've fallen down but you can rise again

So don't give up

When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin

And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight

Lost in your world of lies

I find it so hard to believe in you

Can it be real this time?

Or just a part of this game that we're playing through

I won't give up so don't give in

You've fallen down but you will rise again

I won't give up

When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin

And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight

Don't let it take your soul

Look at me take control

When knowing to fight this war

This is nothing worth dying for

Are you ready to begin?

This is a battle that we are gonna win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason

When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin

And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight

I'll be your reason to fight

Give you a reason to fight

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dan J Donegan / David Michael Draiman / Kevin Gregory Churko / Michael Wengren

A Reason to Fight lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.