stop spectating and start participating!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 17, 2020

Today the feature video is a quirky song by Opus Life Is Life. My buddy Gunny suggested it yesterday when I mentioned I needed a chair dancing song after a few days of sad ones.

When I listened to it, sure enough, I was chair dancing and having a lot of fun enjoying this group. It got me thinking about how there are all kinds of people in this world. Some of them are just spectators, just watching other people do things and enjoying their lives. Then there are the participants who are doing the doing and the dreaming and the moving....

If you have PTSD, sure, being a spectator is safer but it isn't healing. You heal by participating in your own life. Do what you can to be happier and dream about better days to the point where you stop spectating and start participating!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Yes it is snowing again...and we got hammered!

Opus - Life Is Life (Live)

All together now

Live is life

Live is life

Live is life

When we all give the power

We all give the best

Every minute of an hour

Don't think about a rest

Then you all get the power

You all get the best

When everyone gives everything

And every song everybody sings

Then it's life

Live is life

Live is life

Live

Live is life, when we all feel the power

Live is life, come on stand up and dance

Live is life, when the feeling of the people

Live is life, is the feeling of the band, yeah

When we all give the power

We all give the best

Every minute of an hour

Don't think about a rest

Then you all get the power

You all get the best

And everyone gives everything and every song

Everybody sings

Then it's live

Live is life

Live

Live is life

Live 

Live Is life

Live 

Live Is life

And you call when it's over

You call it should last

Every minute of the future

Is a memory of the past

'Cause we all gave the power

We all gave the best

And everyone gave everything and every song

Everybody sang

Live is life

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Ewald Pfleger / Guenter Grasmuck / Herwig Ruedisser / Kurt Plisnier / Peter Niklas Gruber

Live Is Life lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing 

Healing The Heart Scar

Healing The Heart Scar

by

Kathie Costos

It is time for you to realize

the pain is showing in your eyes.

It shouldn't come as a surprise

that you can't cover it up with lies.

Your heart has a huge scar

but it doesn't change who you are.

They say the truth shall set you free

so why don't you talk to me?

Yesterday does not get to win

if you take the first step to begin

to share with me your fears and pain

and fight this together again.

Your heart has a huge scar

but it doesn't change who you are.

They say the truth shall set you free

so why don't you talk to me?

I still see all that is good in you

and even though the things you do

to push me away

only make me more determined to stay.

Your heart has a huge scar

but it doesn't change who you are.

They say the truth shall set you free

so why don't you talk to me?

No one can change what happened before

but the future is an open door.

Only you can change what you do

to take back your life from the ghosts following you.

Your heart has a huge scar

but it doesn't change who you are.

They say the truth shall set you free

so why don't you talk to me?

You lived through something I may never understand

but I am still holding out my hand

waiting for you to take a chance with me

so that we can heal the pain that does not need to be.

Your heart has a huge scar

but it doesn't change who you are.

They say the truth shall set you free

so why don't you talk to me?

Surviving should not be a thing to grieve

when "All things are possible to those who believe"

and you will not longer try to hide

all the pain you feel inside.

Your heart has a huge scar

but it doesn't change who you are.

They say the truth shall set you free

so why don't you talk to me?

*** Mark 9:23***

Last night my husband was watching an Eagles concert and when I heard "I Can't Tell You Why" I went to bed remembering what it was like for me when I recognized the pain in my husband's eyes, because I had the same pain in mine.

I wrote Healing The Heart Scar this morning because sometimes the people who love the one with PTSD, have no idea how to tell them what they want to. I know, because as much as I understood about PTSD, I had a hard time talking to my husband in the beginning. 

If you love someone, show them the poem. It will let them know you do not blame them and you love them enough to want to help them.

If you are the one suffering and don't know how to ask for help, then have them listen to the song from the Eagles. It will open the door to having a heart to heart talk. Most of the time they have no idea what is going on with you but they see the changes as much as they see the pain in your eyes.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Eagles 1979 I Can't Tell You Why

Look at us baby, up all night

Tearing our love apart

Aren't we the same two people who live

Through years in the dark?

Ahh

Every time I try to walk away

Something makes me turn around and stay

And I can't tell you why

When we get crazy

It just ain't to right (try to keep you head little girl)

Girl I get lonely too

You don't have to worry

Just hold on tight (don't get caught in your little world)

Cause I love you

Nothing's wrong as far as I can see

We make it harder than it has to be

And I can't tell you why

No, baby, I can't tell you why

I can't tell you why

Every time I try to walk awayv Something makes me turn around and stay

And I can't tell you why

No, no, baby, I can't tell you why

I can't tell you why

I can't tell you why

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Don Henley / Timothy B. Schmit / Glenn Lewis Frey

I Can't Tell You Why lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Eb Music Services 

Grieving Christmas

UPDATE

Dr. Saumya Dave was just on MSNBC talking about this and offering advice on how to get through this holiday. The first thing is to honor what you are feeling....

Here is a good video from Dr. Dave Campbell on mental health during COVID-19

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 14, 2020

Christmas is supposed to be a happy time, when we're all getting gifts, writing cards and planning parties. That is what it is supposed to be like but for many people, it is a sad time. When you've lost people to send  cards to, have no money to buy gifts because you don't have enough money to simply survive, and there is a pandemic keeping people apart, it seems worse than normal days.

Right now there are over 300,000 lives lost because of COVID-19, and many more will follow. Over 16 million people have been hit by this killer, and many of them will have the illnesses linger for years. There are thousands and thousands in the hospitals fighting for their lives, and their families cannot see them.

Losing people in your life makes it worse. After my Dad died, at the age of 58, it was hard. It was hard when one of my brothers died at 43. It was hard when my Mom passed away at 85. When my oldest brother died, it was the hardest loss for me. I stopped sending Christmas cards. I kept thinking in time, this time of year I used to love, would once again be something I felt good about. I am still waiting for that year.

The thing is, people like us need to be comforted too. That is why today, I picked a couple of videos about loss. If you have PTSD, it could have come with loss too. But you are not alone. 

The best advice I can give is, don't put needless pressure on yourself. Do not try to act happy when you need some space. Try to push any negative memories out of your head and take comfort with the good ones you have. Above all, take care of yourself and do what you can honor your feelings of loss. Include the people who are still in your life in doing something that you need as a gift from them.

Go to the cemetery. Make cards for those you lost. Watch a movie that was their favorite. Paint pictures of them, or collect pictures of things that mattered to them and make a collage. Pick something that will help you remember what this time of year is supposed to be all about.....a season of love.

The Sweetest Gift

Song by The Piano Guys

I'm not gonna lie

Christmas really hurts this time

Cause you're not here to celebrate with me

Tears fill my eyes

The memories flood my mind

As I place your ornament upon our tree

Although this year I have a broken heart

It gives me hope and joy as I remember where you are

You're with the Son of God

You're with the Prince of Peace

You're with the one who's celebrating

And that thought amazes me

Sometimes I still break down

Grieving that we're apart

But the sweetest gift is knowing where you are

You're with the Son of God

Got your picture in the frame

And a stocking with your name

Oh God knows it's been hard letting go

And I can't bring you back but I'll see you again

And all that thought is healing to my soul

I'll miss making angels with you in the snow

I guess instead you will be singing with them all around God's throne

You're with the Son of God

You're with the Prince of Peace

You're with the one who's celebrating

And that thought amazes me

Sometimes I still break down

Grieving that we're apart

But the sweetest gift is knowing where you are

Cause you're with the Son of God

And I know the Christmas season was your favorite time of year

You loved to help us decorate our tree

But now that you're with Jesus

Can't imagine how you feel

'Cause he's the one who bleed and died

Upon the tree for you and me

You're with the Son of God

You're with the Prince of Peace

You're with the one who's celebrating

And that thought amazes me

Sometimes I still break down

Grieving that we're apart

But the sweetest gift is knowing where you are

Yes, the sweetest gift is knowing where you are

Yes, the sweetest gift is knowing you're in his arms

You're with the Son of God

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Craig Aven 

Phil Collins - Since I Lost You 

It seems in a moment your whole world can shatter

Like morning dreams they just disappear

Like dust in your hand falling to the floor

Oh, how can life ever be the same

'Cos my heart is broken in pieces

Yes, my heart is broken in pieces

Since you've been gone

It's all too easy to take so much for granted

But it's so hard to find the words to say

Like a castle in the sand the water takes away

But how can life ever be the same

'Cos my heart is broken in pieces

Yes, my heart is broken in pieces

Since I've lost you

Oh, now you'll never see

Oh, you'll never know

All the things I planned for you

Things for you and me, oh

I held your hand so tightly

That I couldn't let it go

Now how can life ever be the same

'Cos my heart is broken in pieces

Yes, my heart is broken in pieces

Since I've lost you

My heart girl, is broken in pieces

Oh, my heart is broken in pieces

Since you've been gone

My heart, I know, broken in pieces

Yes, my heart is broken in pieces

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Anthony Banks / Phil Collins / Michael Rutherford

Longfellow grieve too!

and the soul felt its worth

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 14, 2020

Wonder what it is like when you begin to heal what PTSD has harmed?

"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices" 

When does this begin?

"...and the soul felt its worth"

Whenever I have to say what my favorite Christmas song is, it is O Holy Night, because I can listen to it all year round. We just celebrate the Birth of Christ on December 25 but the date He was actually born was not in the Bible. Scholars point to the fact about where He was born and say it was in the Spring, which would make a lot of sense. After all, we know that the Spring is when the world renews life.

"For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn" 

And then we see a new and glorious morning, when we are actually happy we have another day ahead of us, instead of dreading it.

But how do you get to the point where your soul feels its worth? When you've done and said horrible things, had terrible thoughts, it is hard to think about that day, How do get right with God? By faith and knowing that price was paid for long before you were even born.

To me it doesn't really matter when Christ was born. I know He was and why He was born. I know how He lived, what He taught, how He died and why He died, just as I know He came back to prove that He was who He said He was....the Son Of God.

Believing that, lets us know that our souls were worth all of what He went through to save us!

When you have PTSD, you were saved. Saved by people who came to help you, because you were worth it. Saved by people who came to help you afterwards, because you were worth it. And you have everything you need to heal already inside of you, especially if you got hit by PTSD because you risked your life for someone else.

There is nothing you cannot be forgiven for but the hardest one to get forgiveness from is yourself. Once you do that, then you believe you are worth being happy about being healed.

You live a different life. More compassionate, understanding, kinder, more hopeful and have more patience for others. You love more deeply.

"O hear the angels' voices"

Because He appeared so your soul could feel its worth!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining

It is the night of our dear Savior's birth

Long lay the world, in sin and error pining

'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees

O hear the angels' voices

O night divine

O night when Christ was born

O night divine

O night

O night divine

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees

O hear the angels' voices

O night divine

O night when Christ was born

O night divine

O night divine (O night divine)

Ooh, yes it was (O night divine)

Yeah, that is that night of our dear Savior's birth

(O night divine) oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah

(O night divine) it was a holy, holy, holy, oh, oh, oh

(O night divine) yes, it was

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Traditional

O Holy Night lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing, Spirit Music Group, Royalty Network 

HANG ON! These thing take time.

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 13, 2020

HANG ON! These thing take time. Those are part of the lyrics from Needtobreathe's Hang On, and that is a message you need to reminded of when you are trying to heal PTSD, even though the song is not about PTSD.

It took time for everyone who ever healed and it will take time for you. It takes leaps of opened eyed faith to know that you can change how things are for you. You have to learn a way of healing that will take care of all the parts of you...your mind, your body and your spirit.

Things take time, so you also need patience with yourself and others. It took time for PTSD to change you and it will take time to change again. It takes time for you to understand, and it will take time for those around you to understand too. 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it. 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

"Hang On"

First touch of summer, she's got your t-shirt on

Sun's going down, schools out, stars are coming on

You can rewind it, but you can't ever feel like you do tonight

Make a movie in your mind, but don't rush it

Boy, you're about to see the light

Hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling

Hang on to your love drunk original reason

Hang on to the small town you love but you're leaving

Oh you won't be a fool for so long

So hang on 

If you listen to the voices inside they won't do you wrong

You can look back over your shoulder, yeah, but don't look too long

It takes time to realize

That your life's gonna pass you by

So hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling

Hang on to your love drunk original reason

So hang on to the small town you love but you're leaving

'Cause you won't be a fool for so long

Oh, these things they take time

And all these things take time, these things they take time

And all these things I've learned, it's never a straight line

'Cause all these things take time, these things they take time

So hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling

Hang on to your love drunk original reason

'Cause all these things take time, these things they take time

And all these things I've learned, it's never a straight line

So hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling

So hang on to your love drunk original reason

So hang on to the small town you love but you're leaving

Oh you won't be a fool for so long

So hang on

(All these things they take time)

Hang on

(All these things they take time)

Hang on

(All these things they take time)

(AZ Lyrics) 

bonus song

Who Am I

White lights and desperation

Hard times and conversation

No one should ever love me like you do

Sometimes my bad decisions

Define my false suspicions

No one should ever love me like you do

While I'm on this road you take my hand

Somehow you really love who I really am

I push you away, still you won't let go

You grow your roses on my barren soul

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

Last night, confidence was shaken

My wounds and my past was saying

No one should ever love me like you do

While I'm on this road you take my hand

Somehow you really love who I really am

I push you away, still you won't let go

You grow your roses on my barren soul

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

The way I push you through it, what you had to see

I'm a train wreck, I'm a mess, you see the best

And the worst in me

Still I can't imagine that I've learned your trust

I don't understand where your love comes from

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Who am I, who am I, who am I

To be loved by you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Nathaniel Rinehart / William Rinehart

Who Am I lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing