Life is ours, we live it our way

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 27, 2020

"Life is ours, we live it our way" and that should always be the case if you have PTSD. No one else has the right to judge how you live unless they know what you lived through. The most important question you should ask yourself is, "Are you a good person...or at least try to be?"

Part of having PTSD is, you may think you are evil because your thoughts are odd compared to the core of who you are. Most of that comes from a defense perspective, which is why you want to get numb. If you believe that, then it is easy for you to go against your core values, doing bad things and thinking in hateful ways. You are battling how you were made, and that can make you even more miserable.

Be true to who you always were inside and feed that part of you until it takes back over again. This is why today the feature video is Metallica Nothing Else Matters.

When I listened to the song, I almost cried because I was thinking about me and my husband. Neither one of us are "normal" and carried a lot of scars, but we healed each other heal. That is what love is supposed to do. We are not supposed to walk away just because something is hard.

I couldn't compare my marriage to anyone else's and I stopped feeling as if I had to defend it. I was willing to explain it, if they were willing to listen. If not, then t was their problem. Not mine. I owed them nothing but I owed myself the best I could give by being the best I could be.

Nothing else mattered. No one else had power over our lives or our marriage but us. You can read about the first 18 years and what we went through to know that is what I have been preaching because it is what I've been practicing knowing it works.

Remember...it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Nothing Else Matters

Metallica 

So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way

Life is ours, we live it our way

All these words, I don't just say

And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you

Every day for us something new

Open mind for a different view

And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do

Never cared for what they know

But I know

So close, no matter how far

It couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do

Never cared for what they know

But I know

I never opened myself this way

Life is ours, we live it our way

All these words, I don't just say

And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you

Every day for us something new

Open mind for a different view

And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say

Never cared for games they play

Never cared for what they do

Never cared for what they know

And I know, yeah, yeah

So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

No, nothing else matters

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: James Alan Hetfield / Lars Ulrich

Nothing Else Matters lyrics © Creeping Death Music 

feeling lonely, you are not alone

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 26, 2020

If you've been feeling lonely, you are not alone. Two of the most famous songs with lonely in the title came from famous singers. Roy Orbison and B.J. Thomas showed an emotional connection to the songs, because they understood what it was like. If they can understand it, wow, that tells you something right there. Plus being top hits, it also says that there are a lot of people who know what that is like.

Christmas is over and now comes the time to figure out what your New Year's resolution will be. This is a gift we are supposed to give ourselves with the beginning of a brand new year. Lose weight, exercise more, complain less, but no matter what I promise myself, it is forgotten about a few days later. This year, I decided that I was going to change whatever I could so that I'd stop feeling lonely. My other site, Wounded Times has 4,745,340 page views, and this one has almost 70,000, and then all the videos, but even with all that, I am lonely. 

I am blessed with a wonderful daughter, my husband and I have been together forever and I have some terrific friends, but I am lonely. They don't really understand what I do, so I am alone doing it. It sucks! That is why this year, I decided to start now to change things. I am seeking new people online who will understand what I do and find some company there. 

If you are trying to heal PTSD, it can suck because the people you know have no idea what you are dealing with, so find others who will. Find the support you need with groups or from people who are going through the same thing. Being lonely sucks, but when you are feeling lonely surrounded by others, that loneliness fades and you take some comfort with them while giving it to them as well. Win-win all the way around.

Don't settle on a lonely life when you have the power to change that.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

"I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"

(originally by Hank Williams) 

Did you hear that lonesome whippoorwill?

He sounds too blue to fly

The midnight train is whining low

And I'm so lonesome I could cry 

Did you ever see a night so long

When time goes crawlin' by?

The moon just went behind a cloud

And I'm so lonesome I could cry 

Did you ever see a robin weep

When leaves begin to die?

That means he's lost the will to live

And I'm so lonesome I could cry 

The silence of a fallin' star

Lights up a purple sky

And as I wonder where you are

I'm so lonesome I could cry 

Yeah I-I could cry-eye-eye

I could cry-eye, eye-eye-eye, I-I could cry-eye

I could cry-eye, oh-oh-oh-oh

I-I could cry, I could cry

(AZ Lyrics)

Only the lonely 

Know the way I feel tonight

Only the lonely 

Know this feeling ain't right 

There goes my baby

There goes my heart

They're gone forever

So far apart

But only the lonely

Know why I cry

Only the lonely 

(Oh, oh oh oh oh ooh-ah-ah, only the lonely)

(Only the lonely

Only the lonely

Know the heartaches I've been through 

Only the lonely

Know I cry and cry for you 

Maybe tomorrow

A new romance

No-o-o more sorrow

But that's the chance

You've got to take

If your lonely heart breaks

Only the lonely

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Joe Melson / Roy Orbison

Only the Lonely lyrics © Barbara Orbison Music Company, Roy Orbison Music Company, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., BMG Rights Management 

Giving yourself a gift this year?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

December 25, 2020

Merry Christmas! While it seems there isn't much to be merry about this year, there is if you look for it.

Maybe you didn't get what you wanted, or you were not able to get what someone else wanted. Maybe you have so many worries that feeling as if you are supposed to be celebrating, seems like torture. How do you celebrate Christmas when it feels like just when you thought this year couldn't get any worse....it did?

HOPE! That is what Christmas is supposed to be all about. Listen to the Christmas songs we all grew up with. (Not the funny ones I've been putting up the last few days.) Did you notice that most of them are about hope?

Between the Birth in the manger and the crucifixion on the Cross, Jesus lived a life of awesomeness! We read all about His miracles, but we tend to forget how much He suffered.

He knew what it was like to be hungry.

He knew what it was like to be lonely.

He knew what it was like to feel abandoned.

He knew what it was like to be betrayed.

He knew what it was like to grieve so much He wept.

He knew what it was like to do the right things for the right reasons and be hated for them.

He knew what it was like to be called a liar.

Yet with even more evidence of His suffering, He lived His life serving others, preaching of God's love, performing miracles, giving hope to those who had forgotten what hope in their hearts felt like, and proving to them they were loved!

One of the greatest gifts He gave was teaching them the importance of forgiving.  It was not for the sake of those who hurt Him, or those who hurt you, but more about giving yourself a gift.

Jesus didn't let what others did to Him, stop Him from being true to what He knew was right. He didn't hate those He was willing to die for, even after they betrayed them. He asked His Father to forgive them, because they had no idea what they were doing.

If we hang onto those who hurt us, the wrong done to us, then we rob ourselves of all the good that could replace what is harmful to us. Forgive others and take away the power they retain in your heart. They do don't deserved to remain there. 

Understand that if you are doing the right thing, then it is their problem, not yours. If you did the wrong thing to them, apologize to them. If they accept it, then all is well. If they do not, then it is again their problem. 

If you are having a hard time forgiving, then pray for the strength to do it, because Jesus knows what it is like to be you!

but I don't hate Christmas

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 24, 2020

This is going to sound like a strange thing for a Chaplain to say, but I don't hate Christmas. After the videos I put up yesterday and the ones from today, I felt as if I should make that very clear.

This has been an awful year for most people and thinking about how we want to spend Christmas, but not being able to, can be really depressing, so I want to lift the mood a bit.

Last year we moved back to New England. We were able to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and friends after 15 years living in Florida, spending it alone. It sucked! We missed them because we love them. It is because we all love one another, we are staying away this year. 

Strange things happened this year that were not good but next year, strange things can happen that are good ones too.

Finding these videos lifted my spirit, especially the ones that I couldn't share that were too adult for most people (if you get my drift) and I hope they do the same for you.

 

 and in dishonor of COVID.....

Eve before Christmas Eve doesn't have to suck

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 23, 2020 

It has been a hard year all around, and just when we thought things would get better, another let down. After months of no help from Congress, they finally got together and passed 2 bills. One to fund the government and the other to help so many of us suffering. When you run out hope, even less help than you need helps. And then just like that, we got a lump of coal.

It is hard to find something to hope for as the days tick away. When we get a glimmer of something good happening, then see it snatched away, it can be devastating. All of this got me thinking about PTSD. You can wake up one morning, feeling hopeful out of "nowhere" then do something that makes you feel better for a while. The next morning, you are depressed all over again. That is because that is not healing. That is manufacturing a high.

Healing takes time but it lasts. Sure you'll have some bad days, but instead of a rollercoaster ride, it is more like a kiddy ride. Healing is a give you give yourself and to others that lasts. Next year your life will be better because there are some things you do have control over in your own part of this world.

For now, enjoy these funny Christmas video songs and the last one is Paul McCartney Let It Be.

and the one we'll be thinking about tomorrow night!

When I find myself in times of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

And in my hour of darkness

She is standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the broken-hearted people

Living in the world agree

There will be an answer, let it be

For though they may be parted

There is still a chance that they will see

There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Yeah, there will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Let it be, yeah, let it be

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the night is cloudy

There is still a light that shines on me

Shine on 'til tomorrow, let it be

I wake up to the sound of music

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Let it be, yeah, let it be

There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Let it be, yeah, let it be

There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Let it be, yeah, let it be

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mccartney / Lennon

Let It Be lyrics © Sony/atv Tunes Llc