whatever I'm going through, others did too

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 4, 2021

Last night was one of "those nights" when is was sad. I had a long talk with God and asked for the strength and courage to keep going, doing what I've done all these years. I asked to be able to forgive the people He sent to help me, but ended up just using me and walking away. (You know the feeling...like you just don't matter enough...not good enough...not worth helping.)

Because people don't measure success by what you do, all that matters to them is what you get out of it. Like money and fame. If you don't get paid with something they can see, well then, you are worthless to them. It is just the way it is for too many people.

Yet those who do things for the sake of it, receiving back something no one can see. It is knowing that you didn't give up on someone and changed their lives. You didn't give up because you knew how they felt too.

I wouldn't be able to understand what survivors were going through with PTSD, if I didn't survive many times in my own life. I wouldn't have had a strong desire to learn what my husband was going through because he survived Vietnam, if I had lived through so many times, I wondered why I was not suffering as much as he was. Feeling what others feel, gives all of us a deeper understanding of what they need from us.

I take comfort knowing that whatever I'm going through, others did too. Whatever pain I feel, or loneliness, others felt that way too. I am not alone being left alone.

That is why today the featured video is Pink and Kelly Clarkson from the American Music Awards, Everybody Hurts.

"Everybody Hurts" 

When the day is long

And the night, the night is yours alone

When you're sure you've had enough

Of this life, well hang on 

Don't let yourself go

'Cause everybody cries

And everybody hurts sometimes 

Sometimes everything is wrong

Now it's time to sing along

When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)

If you feel like letting go (Hold on)

If you think you've had too much

Of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts

Take comfort in your friends

Everybody hurts

Don't throw your hand, oh no 

Don't throw your hand

If you feel like you're alone

No, no, no, you are not alone 

If you're on your own in this life

The days and nights are long

When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes

Everybody cries

And everybody hurts sometimes

And everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Everybody hurts 

No, no, no, no you are not alone

(AZ Lyrics)

The other one is Amy Grant Not Giving Up. I know I used this one a few days ago, but here it is again because I also take comfort knowing that while so many have walked away and given up on me, there are still some who have not given up on me...and they are a blessing in my life.

with their memories along for the ride

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 3, 2021

People we love die. Most of us have lost someone, and for some, many people. My husband and I have been to too many funerals. It is hard. Right now there are over 400,000 lives gone to COVID-19, leaving behind countless numbers of people grieving for them. Even more will die in the coming months, leaving more to grieve. No matter how they die, the way we keep their lives alive is to hold onto the memories of them.

This is why today the featured video is Disturbed, Hold On To Memories.

When the new year rolls around, I start to mark dates on the calendar. Birthdays and anniersaries I don't want to forget, but the number of times is less all the time. I want to remember when they were born and not the date they died. I want to remember what was important to them and the good memories we had.

I want to make the most of my life so that I take them with me in all the good I do and hope they are not ashamed of me when I do something wrong.

If you lost someone, honor the loss and grieve for however long you need to. Don't let someone else tell you it is time to stop. This person was in your life and you alone know how much a part of your life they were in.

When anniversary dates or holidays come around, it can be hard without them. Do something to honor them so it will feel as if they are there with you. Have a memory book you write in and put in things that were important to them. Do something they liked to do and call it their day.

"Make the most of the rest of your life" with their memories along for the ride.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Hold Onto Memories

Disturbed 

Listen, everyone

The time will come when all of us say goodbye

Feel that aching in your heart

Leaving you broken inside

But we're never really gone

As long as there's a memory in your mind

So now go do the best things in life

Take a bite of this world while you can

Make the most of the rest of your life

Make a ride of this world while you can

Take the ones you love

And hold them close because there is little time

And don't let it break your heart

I know it feels hopeless sometimes

But they're never really gone

As long as there's a memory in your mind

So now go do the best things in life

Take a bite of this world while you can

Make the most of the rest of your life

Make a ride of this world while you can

And hold on to memories

Hold on to every moment

To keep them alive

The world's greatest tragedy

Souls who are not remembered

Cannot survive

So now go do the best things in life

Bring the fight to this world while you can

Make the most of the rest of your life

Shine your light on this world while you can

And hold on to memories

Hold on to every moment

To keep them alive

The world's greatest tragedy

Souls who are not remembered

Cannot survive

And hold on to memories

Hold on to every moment

To keep them alive

The world's greatest tragedy

Souls who are not remembered

Cannot survive (cannot survive)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Churko Kevin Gregory / Donegan Dan J

Hold On to Memories lyrics © Mother Culture Publishing 

Healing place and I want to get there

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 2, 2021

Want to be touched by the sun? Then learn from the greats! The ones who created the road to healing PTSD. Did you know that stated over 40 years ago? They are the ones I learned from and that is how you get there.

Today the featured video is Carly Simon, Touched By The Sun. In the video it shows a long, lonely road but she is on it because she wants to "get there" to be touched by the sun.

Do you want to get there too? To reach a place in the sunshine where your soul feels warm? A place where hope returns and loneliness ends? You'll get there if you have the desire to.

If you are online, on Facebook or in any of the groups dealing with PTSD, and you feel worse, you are in the wrong place. All the doom and gloom does you no good when you need to find hope. Callous responses like, "thoughts and prayers" or "God only gives us what we can handle" is more like a dagger to your soul.

You need to spend time learning the way I did, with experts and facts. While it is easier for you to find answers than it was for me, that is not necessarily a good thing. I had to go to the library and read clinical text books with a dictionary, Now all you need are a few key strokes. If you Google PTSD Support Groups you'll find almost 42 million results. You'd think with that many results, we'd have a much better outcome, but we don't. 

If you want to get out of the darkness, then get a road map first...then you'll get there. 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Touched By The Sun

Carly Simon

If you want to be brave

And reach for the top of the sky

And the farthest point on the horizon

Do you know who you'll meet there

Great soldiers and seafarers,

Artists and dreamers

Who need to be close, close to the light

They need to be in danger of burning by fire

And I, I want to get there

I, I want to be one

One who is touched by the sun,

One who is touched by the sun

Often I want to walk

The safe side of the street

And lull myself to sleep

And dull my pain

But deep down inside I know

I've got to learn from the greats,

Earn my right to be living,

Let my wings of desire

Soar over the night

I need to let them say

"She must have been mad"

And I, I want to get there

I, I want to be one

One who is touched by the sun,

One who is touched by the sun

I've got to learn from the greats,

Earn my right to be living,

With every breath that I take,

Every heartbeat

And I, I want to get there

I, I want to be one, One who is touched by the sun,

One who is touched by the sun.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Carly Simon

Touched by the Sun lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

A along time ago, I used this song in a video for female veterans...

Footloose kick out PTSD blues

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 1, 2021 

***the following is a challenge to everyone***

Think changes can't happen by thinking about it a different way? Wouldn't it be great if you could just kick out PTSD blues? Well then pack its bags and call the movers, even if it is just for a little while. It is time for you to cut loose....footloose!

There is so much to take away from this movie, other than pure entertainment. For me the thing that stuck out was, it was about what PTSD can do to people after suffering trauma.

(Footloose) Wanting to show his friends the joy and freedom of dance, Ren drives Ariel, Willard, and Ariel's best friend Rusty to a country bar 100 miles away from Bomont. Once there, Willard is unable to dance and gets into a jealous fight with a man who dances with Rusty. On the drive home, the gang crosses a bridge where Ariel tells the story about how her older brother died in a car accident while driving under the influence of alcohol after a night of dancing. The accident destroyed her father, and prompted him to persuade the town council to enact strict anti-liquor, anti-drug, and anti-dance laws. Ariel begins to openly challenge her father's authority at home. Ren decides to challenge the anti-dancing ordinance so that the high school can hold a senior prom.

PSALM 30:11

"You turned my wailing into dancing, you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy!" 

The whole town was suffering from the loss this family felt. All it took was for someone to show them a differing way of looking at joy...and yes, he even quoted the Bible verses about dancing with joy.

Healing PTSD has to involve your mind, your soul and your body. This is a great way to treat all three and stress out in a good way. Get the stress out of your, even if it just for a little while.

Play a game where you hear "kick off your Sunday shoes" and replace it with kick out PTSD blues! Then chair dance or actually get up and move your body. Even if you are just jumping up and down. Feel some joy to remind yourself of what feeling good feels like! 

First, we got to turn you around

Second, you put your feet on the ground

Third, now take a hold of your soul

I'm turning it loose, footloose

Kick out PTSD blues

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Been working so hard

I'm punching my card

Eight hours, for what?

Oh, tell me what I got

I gotten this feeling

That time's just holding me down

I'll hit the ceiling

Or else I'll tear up this town

Tonight I gotta cut loose, footloose

Kick off your Sunday shoes

Please, Louise

Pull me up off my knees

Jack, get back

C'mon, before we crack

Lose your blues

Everybody cut footloose

You're playing so cool

Obeying every rule

Dig way down in your heart

You're burning, yearning for some

Somebody to tell you

That life ain't passing you by

I'm trying to tell you

It will if you don't even try

You can fly if you'd only cut loose, footloose

Kick off your Sunday shoes

Ooh-wee, Marie

Shake it, shake it for me

Whoa, Milo

C'mon, c'mon let's go

Lose your blues

Everybody cut footloose

cut footloose

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) cut footloose

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) cut footloose

First, we got to turn you around

Second, you put your feet on the ground

Third, now take a hold of your soul

I'm turning it loose, footloose

Kick off your Sunday shoes

Please, Louise

Pull me up off my knees

Jack, get back

C'mon, before we crack

Lose your blues

Everybody cut footloose

Footloose, (Footloose), footloose

Kick off your Sunday shoes

Please, Louise

Pull me up off my knees

Jack, get back

C'mon, before we crack

Lose your blues

Everybody cut, everybody cut

Everybody cut, everybody cut

Everybody cut, everybody cut

(Everybody) Everybody cut footloose

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Dean Pitchford / Kenny Loggins

Footloose lyrics © Sony/atv Harmony, Sony/atv Melody, Milk Money Music

And this one is just for fun too!

The challenge is to film yourself doing a dance to this song and saying KICK OUT PTSD BLUES.

Then put the link to it on PTSD Patrol Facebook page as a comment,

This is to change the conversation from suffering to healing!

Here is mine with Murray...keep in mind that I have a bad back!

speed limit to healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 31, 2021

When someone is trying to heal from PTSD, they are the driver. It is up to them to set the speed they travel on this road. If you are trying to help them, you are the passenger and the navigator. Offering advice and trying to get them to keep going, is part of it but so is slowing them down when they go too fast.

A long time ago, I was helping a National Guardsman heal to prevent him from trying suicide for the 3rd time. It took 5 phone calls before he agreed to see a professional. I hadn't heard from him for a while but was talking to his Mom a few months later. I asked how he was doing and she said, "Well you cured him and he moved to Colorado." I told her that he was not cured and needed to get back home and back into theraphy. This didn't make sense to her at first, because the nightmares were just about gone and he was happier. I explained that could very well be true, but that didn't mean he was done.

The person needing healing is in control of the speed, but it is vital to the navigators to get them to ease up on the gas. The best way to put this is, on a highway, most of the drivers are doing it within limits set, or close to it. Sooner or later, some yahoo thinks limits are for everyone else but them, so they go zooming past everyone, weaving in and out of traffic, making the road dangerous for everyone else. Usually you'll see a police car with flashing lights going after them. Why? Because it is dangerous with a predictable bad outcome.

If you see a therapist, understand the client sets the speed they heal with. For some, they need to go very slow and carefully. For others, they talk so fast, it is hard to slow them down enough so they actually hear themselves talk.

This is why the feature video is Neil Diamond, He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.

If you are trying to help someone, understand that you need to try to slow them down, get them to rest and refuel when they are running out of gas. Be there to guide them so they don't have to feel like they are alone on this road. 

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The road is long

With many a winding turn

That leads us to who knows where

Who knows where

But I'm strong

Strong enough to carry him

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go

His welfare is of my concern

No burden is he, to bear

We'll get there

For I know

He would not encumber me

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all

I'm laden with sadness

That everyone's heart

Isn't filled with the gladness

Of love for one another

It's a long, long road

From which there is no return

While we're on our way to there

Why not share

And the load

Doesn't weigh me down at all

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bob Russell / Bobby Scott

In case the above video gets blocked...this is the offical one.