Don't miss "the miracle of the moment"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 11, 2021

Why is it that we want to change what has already been done, unsay what has already been said and change the path we chose to take, only to discover it was a huge mistake? We can't change a damn thing that happened up do a second ago. Still none of us have to settle for what came from all we got wrong because we can change this second onward. That is the "miracle of the moment. Today's featured video is Steven Curtis Chapman, This Moment.

Yes, you can change and you have the power to do it. Do you feel bad about something you said? Then apologize and say something better. Give the person you said it to a chance to accept your apology but, understand that it has already been said. It may take time to rebuild whatever relationship you had with them. At the very least, if they do not forgive you, you opened the door to begin to forgive yourself for just being a human who was wrong.

Sure it sucks to be wrong but it sucks more to stay wrong. Change now by learning from your past because that is all it is good for.

Part of having PTSD is being on guard. Hearing more than someone actually said, and taking it as a personal attack against you, or overblowing everything, causes a rift that could destroy a relationship. When you understand that, then you can think about how you react in the furture, but it does not change what has already been done. Only you can do that by making new memories for them, and yourself to overpower the bad memories you have. You can start this moment to make a miracle for your future.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

This Moment

Steven Curtis Chapman

It's time for letting go

All of our if only's

'Cause we don't have a time machine

And even if we did

Would we really want to use it

Would we really want to go change everything

'Cause we are who and where

And what we are for now

And this is the only moment

We can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

There's only one who knows

What's really out there waiting

In all the moments yet to be

And all we need to know

Is he's out there waiting

To Him the future's history

And He has given us

A treasure called right now

And this is the only moment

We can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears

Then taste them as they fall

And let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter

Then throw your head back

And let it go, let it go, yeah

You gotta let it go

And listen to your heartbeat, yeah

Breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

Breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Matthew Bronleewe / Steven Curtis Chapman

Miracle of the Moment lyrics © BMG Rights Management 

Wish them well and then tell them to go to hell

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 10, 2021

Yesterday I had some personal things to do. To tell the truth, I needed a mental health day too. I am glad I did. I was looking for music to use today when I came across Disturbed Stronger On Your Own. As I listened to it, I started to think how I am stronger, and happier on my own.

When I lived in Florida, I was involved with a lot of veterans groups. I really cared about them, but there was something that was in the way of getting close to them. Politics! I listened to them say how much they hated things I believed, without them knowing what I thought. Some people on the other side, were OK and didn't seem to put it first above all else and we stayed friends. I kept my mouth shut with the others as they went on and on about their views, anger, bitterness and hatred. I still cared about them but it hurt.

I kept thinking that if they knew what I thought, they'd hate me too. I was right. When I moved to New Hampshire, it was lonely. We had a few friends and our daughter was here, we were also closer to other family members. Then the pandemic hit and things got shut down. It got even lonelier.

I got stronger! I looked back at how I hid what I thought as if I had anything to be ashamed of, when I didn't. 

This has gone way beyond simple political differences. I used to really enjoy a good debate but it did not cause as much hatred as it has the last ten years or so. Now it is as if we are so filled with it, nothing else matters to far too many.

If you have PTSD and you are dealing with this political BS, walk away. We've all heard crap over the years, especially about what people want to believe. There were decades when people thought PTSD was not real and if you are a veteran, you probably heard someone say that you were only out for a free ride, a government paycheck and it was all BS. I'd love to hear one of them say that to a civilian with PTSD, especially when the percentage of people denying it is still higher than those who admit it. The stigma and crappy attitude is alive and well because facts are still damned and people like to hear what they already believe.

If you are surrounded by people who do not think the way you do, then walk away. Listening to them will rob you of healing and get in the way. You should not have to change what you believe to fit in with someone who has shown you they already hate you, even though they never heard it from you.

It is a hinderance to your recovery. Wish them well and then tell them to go to hell. It is better to be on your own until you find others who do think like you, believe what you do, or, at least accept you as you are. 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Stronger on Your Own

Disturbed

Everybody has a story to tell

Listen closely now and you can hear mine as well

I was addicted to breaking my heart

I couldn't get enough of feeling it torn apart

So conflicted, in feeling the pain

I say I've had enough but still want it all again

I won't deny

I tried to hide it

But it was killing me inside

And now I

Feel un-whole

So if you're able to survive

And still you find yourself alone

You will begin to realize

That you are stronger on your

Stronger on your own

I've created my own personal hell

Come inside with me and you can be mine as well

This affliction will blacken your heart

I keep believing as it's tearing my soul apart

Self-destruction is the name of the game

I say I've had enough but still want it all again

I won't deny

I tried to hide it

But now it's killing me inside

And now I

Feel so cold

So if you're able to survive

And still you find yourself alone

You will begin to realize

That you are stronger on your own

And when you're able to decide

Then you don't want this anymore

You'll be the one to turn the tide

For you are stronger on your

Stronger on your

Stronger on your own

Leave it alone

Bury it, bury it

Leave it alone

Bury the dead

Leave it alone

Bury it, bury it

Leave it alone

Bury the dead

Leave it alone

Bury it, bury it

Leave it alone

Bury the dead

So if you're able to survive

And still you find yourself alone

You will begin to realize

That you are stronger on your own

And when you're able to decide

Then you don't want this anymore

You'll be the one to turn the tide

For you are stronger on your

Stronger on your

Stronger on your own

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dan Donegan / David Draiman / Kevin Churko / Mike Wengren

Stronger on Your Own lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 

why should you join a support group

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 8, 2021

Today I posted about how Wounded Times (my other site) reached over 5 million page views. I wrote that All that work was worth it because it was but for a long time, I didn't feel that way. I was getting less and less comments, hardly no feedback, and I started to think that it just didn't matter anymore. It hurt.

Now I know better but believe it or not, that is one of the reasons why you should join a support group. I know it sounds like a strange leap, but hear me out.

It was lonely and it got harder to find a reason to keep doing something that was healing for me. Knowing I was making a difference, was like a gift I gave myself. When you have PTSD and are doing the work alone, it is great but there comes a time when you need the positive feedback from others. Face it! We all have an ego. Feed your ego!

Think about it this way. If you were really overweight and put in a lot of work to lose it, but moved to a new town where no one knew you, they wouldn't know what you did or how hard you worked at it. Yet, if you went back to where people knew you, they would let you know how proud they were of you, congratulate you on it, and yes, feed your ego. It is like a gift you give yourself.

Being in a support group, gives you that positive feedback, support and inspires you to keep doing the work of healing. When you are healed, you can give that to others too, because you know what it was like when you did it, just as much as you remember what it was like to do it alone. That is a gift you give to others, but also, a gift you give to yourself.

On a personal note, I want to thank the people who stuck with me on Wounded Times, even if I don't know who you are. I am also grateful for the people passing on the work for PTSD Patrol. Reaching over 100,000 page views was because of you being willing to do that.
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Make Your Own Kind of Music

The Mamas and the Papas

Nobody can tell you

There's only one song worth singing

They may try and sell you

Cause it hangs them up

To see someone like you

But you gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own special song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

You're gonna be nowhere

The loneliest kind of lonely

It may be rough going

Just to do your thing is the hardest thing to do

But you gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own special song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

So if you cannot take my hand

And if you must be going, I will understand

You gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own special song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

You gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own kind of song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

You gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own kind of song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

No no no no

Even if nobody else sings along

If nobody else sings along

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Barry Mann / Cynthia Weil

Make Your Own Kind of Music lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

All that work was worth it

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 15, 2021 

(From my other site)

"The loneliest kind of lonely" is when there is no one else like you. I know that feeling because when I started working on PTSD, I didn't know anyone like me. It was lonely because we didn't have the internet and the only information I could find was at the library reading clinical books. Nothing strange about that since it was in 1982.

In 1993, I finally got a computer and then I found other people talking about PTSD. I started my first site on AOL, then it was on a website where I went by NamGuardianAngel. Back then, since I was unique, I had a lot of emails and phone calls. There were even more when I wrote my first book in 2002.

In 2006 I started making videos on PTSD on YouTube and in 2007, I started Wounded Times.

All that work was worth it even though it was never to make money. Sure I wanted to at least break even but the thing was, the work itself kept me going. Getting feed back and reading messages let me know, it mattered to the people I was trying to help.

In 2007 I posted a massive post about suicides hoping that someone with the power to do something would. Once all the groups started to pop up all over the internet and social media, the emails and messages started to go down. I was reading more and more about veterans suffering and very little being done to help them. The problem was, they were doing something about it by using them to make money.

I didn't give up and made more videos, posted more and tried to reach out as much as possible. It got lonelier and lonelier. In 2017 I started PTSD Patrol hoping that with PTSD in the title, I could gain control over the conversation again, and give veterans hope and families understanding.

Last year, it was too much for me, reading the reports of suicides going up in the veterans' community and within the military itself. My heart was breaking. I decided to stop focusing on them and started to open the work up to anyone with PTSD. PTSD Patrol passed 100,000 page views recently.

read more on Wounded Times

"Live your truth and know you're not alone"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 7, 2021

A while ago I heard from an old friend. She had been on a bowling team and was really good. Whenever we went, she said I was comedy relief because I was so bad at it. Some of the members of her team started to get political. They were saying things that was horrible. She felt more and more uncomfortable whenever they got together because she was so shocked they felt the way they did. She walked away.

She stopped doing a lot of other things. She went to work and then went home. That was all she did. Someone suggested to her that since there were a few other members of the team who walked away, she should contact them so they could go bowling again and just have fun. It was easy to assume they felt the same way she did. She was right. They started to go bowling and out to eat once a week. They were having so much fun, and few members of the old group wanted to join them.

The new little group didn't want them. The others had already said what they did and expressed how they felt, so trust was gone. They forgave them, but they didn't want to constantly be questioning the others, wondering what they thought and ending up feeling uncomfortable around them all over again. They decided to just be true to themselves.

When you have PTSD, people saying horrible things comes with it. You can forgive them, try to explain it to them and hope they change, but all too often, the trust is gone and what they said echos in your mind. Forgive them and walk away. Let them find people who think the same way they do and you do the same, because you'll be a lot happier.

Today's featured video is Sarah McLachlan, In Your Shoes. Be true to yourself and surround yourself with people who will accept you as you are. I know what it is like because for years I had to keep my mouth shut when others said terrible things around me. I knew if I said what I thought, they'd hate me and I was a right. When I finally freed myself from them, they attacked me for speaking my mind. I kept my mind and lost them from my life. It was liberating! I am a lot happier now.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

In Your Shoes

Sarah McLachlan

You turn the radio on play your favorite song and cry... cry

You let it all disappear push back the doubt and fear they try... try

To hold your head under the waves but you're breathing all the same

You are stronger than their hate

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Leave it all behind and move on you are your own woman

You never asked for trouble but you've got fire that burns so bright... bright

You turn and face the struggle when all the others turn and hide... hide

You hold your head above the waves above the war they try to wage

You are stronger than their hate

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Leave it all behind and move on 'cause you are your own woman

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Leave it all behind and move on you are your own woman move on yeah

Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes

Lay down your footprints wherever you choose

Say what's on your mind with pride 'cause you are your own woman

You've got a light that always guides you

You speak of hope and change as something good

Live your truth and know you're not alone

You turn the radio on play your favorite song and sing out so loud

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Sarah Ann Mclachlan / Pierre Marchand / Luke Doucet

In Your Shoes lyrics © Tyde Music, Southern Music Pub. Co. Canada Ltd.