fueled with that hope?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 29, 2020

"Me, myself I got nothing to prove." The truth is, the only one you have to prove anything to, is yourself. You are the only one who has lived your life and you alone determine what you want for the rest of your life. That was the message I got from Tracy Chapman's song Fast Car.

It is about having a hard life but having hope that things can get better. That fast car she is singing about is fueled with that hope. You life can be fueled the same way. Hope gives you the possibility of dreams coming true. Nothing will change as long as you stay where you are, doing the same thing you did yesterday. If you think about what you want but don't believe it can happen, then it won't. If you believe it can, then you search for ways to make it come true.

Recovery from PTSD is something to hope for and then work for. It won't come to you. It won't happen if you sit there doing nothing but sulk. You have to get in your car (vehicle you live in) and pick a destination. Plan a way to get there...and go for it. Once you manage to prove to yourself that being a survivor doesn't have to suck, it won't anymore. Everyone else will catch on they were wrong about you, after you prove it to yourself.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it.

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Fast Car

Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car

I want a ticket to anywhere

Maybe we make a deal

Maybe together we can get somewhere

Any place is better

Starting from zero, got nothing to lose

Maybe we'll make something

Me, myself, I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car

I got a plan to get us out of here

I been working at the convenience store

Managed to save just a little bit of money

Won't have to drive too far

Just 'cross the border and into the city

You and I can both get jobs

And finally see what it means to be living

See, my old man's got a problem

He lives with the bottle, that's the way it is

He says his body's too old for working

His body's too young to look like his

My mama went off and left him

She wanted more from life than he could give

I said, somebody's got to take care of him

So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car

Is it fast enough so we can fly away?

We gotta make a decision

Leave tonight or live and die this way

So I remember we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car

We go cruising to entertain ourselves

You still ain't got a job

And I work in a market as a checkout girl

I know things will get better

You'll find work and I'll get promoted

We'll move out of the shelter

Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car

I got a job that pays all our bills

You stay out drinking late at the bar

See more of your friends than you do of your kids

I'd always hoped for better

Thought maybe together you and me would find it

I got no plans, I ain't going nowhere

So take your fast car and keep on driving

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car

Is it fast enough so you can fly away?

You gotta make a decision

Leave tonight or live and die this way

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Tracy L Chapman

Fast Car lyrics © Emi April Music Inc., Purple Rabbit Music 

Still standing and being happy about it

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 28, 2020

"Looking like a true survivor" means you are happy you did. So why don't you seem happy about it?  The only way to get PTSD is to know what it is like to be a survivor of whatever caused it. The question is, when do you become happy about it?

Is if because someone told you that you are supposed to be miserable? That you are supposed to live in a pit of despair? Time to pick up the pieces of your life without what they said on your mind. They are wrong!

If you haven't guessed it by now, the feature video is Elton John, I'm Still Standing. If you saw the movie Rocketman you know he didn't have an easy life. The thing is, he didn't give up because it wasn't easy. Healing PTSD isn't easy but you can do it. You can change your life for the better if you believe it is possible and work at it.

I love the part of the song with "feeling like a little kid." Kids have wild imaginations, where anything is possible to be true. Watch them play with toys or stuffed animals, pretending they are alive. When we grow up, we lose that sense of wonderment and then imagination dies. Healing makes you feel like a little kid again because the possibilities are only limited by how much you want to fight for it to become reality.

There is not one single person I talked to over all these years, who didn't want to be happy again. Unfortunately they didn't want to work at it. Those who did, did it on their own. All I did was guide them so they could do all the work. They are "still standing after all this time" and better than ever.

Find what works for you and you can be a happy survivor too!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I'm Still Standing

Elton John

You could never know what it's like

Your blood like winter freezes just like ice

And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you

You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use

And did you think this fool could never win?

Well look at me, I'm coming back again

I got a taste of love in a simple way

And if you need to know while I'm still standing, you just fade away

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Once I never could have hoped to win

You're starting down the road leaving me again

The threats you made were meant to cut me down

And if our love was just a circus, you'd be a clown by now

You know I'm still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Don't you know that I'm still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)...

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Elton John / Bernie Taupin

I'm Still Standing lyrics © Hst Publishing Ltd., Rouge Booze, Inc. 

Life is ours, we live it our way

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 27, 2020

"Life is ours, we live it our way" and that should always be the case if you have PTSD. No one else has the right to judge how you live unless they know what you lived through. The most important question you should ask yourself is, "Are you a good person...or at least try to be?"

Part of having PTSD is, you may think you are evil because your thoughts are odd compared to the core of who you are. Most of that comes from a defense perspective, which is why you want to get numb. If you believe that, then it is easy for you to go against your core values, doing bad things and thinking in hateful ways. You are battling how you were made, and that can make you even more miserable.

Be true to who you always were inside and feed that part of you until it takes back over again. This is why today the feature video is Metallica Nothing Else Matters.

When I listened to the song, I almost cried because I was thinking about me and my husband. Neither one of us are "normal" and carried a lot of scars, but we healed each other heal. That is what love is supposed to do. We are not supposed to walk away just because something is hard.

I couldn't compare my marriage to anyone else's and I stopped feeling as if I had to defend it. I was willing to explain it, if they were willing to listen. If not, then t was their problem. Not mine. I owed them nothing but I owed myself the best I could give by being the best I could be.

Nothing else mattered. No one else had power over our lives or our marriage but us. You can read about the first 18 years and what we went through to know that is what I have been preaching because it is what I've been practicing knowing it works.

Remember...it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Nothing Else Matters

Metallica 

So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way

Life is ours, we live it our way

All these words, I don't just say

And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you

Every day for us something new

Open mind for a different view

And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do

Never cared for what they know

But I know

So close, no matter how far

It couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do

Never cared for what they know

But I know

I never opened myself this way

Life is ours, we live it our way

All these words, I don't just say

And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you

Every day for us something new

Open mind for a different view

And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say

Never cared for games they play

Never cared for what they do

Never cared for what they know

And I know, yeah, yeah

So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

No, nothing else matters

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: James Alan Hetfield / Lars Ulrich

Nothing Else Matters lyrics © Creeping Death Music 

feeling lonely, you are not alone

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 26, 2020

If you've been feeling lonely, you are not alone. Two of the most famous songs with lonely in the title came from famous singers. Roy Orbison and B.J. Thomas showed an emotional connection to the songs, because they understood what it was like. If they can understand it, wow, that tells you something right there. Plus being top hits, it also says that there are a lot of people who know what that is like.

Christmas is over and now comes the time to figure out what your New Year's resolution will be. This is a gift we are supposed to give ourselves with the beginning of a brand new year. Lose weight, exercise more, complain less, but no matter what I promise myself, it is forgotten about a few days later. This year, I decided that I was going to change whatever I could so that I'd stop feeling lonely. My other site, Wounded Times has 4,745,340 page views, and this one has almost 70,000, and then all the videos, but even with all that, I am lonely. 

I am blessed with a wonderful daughter, my husband and I have been together forever and I have some terrific friends, but I am lonely. They don't really understand what I do, so I am alone doing it. It sucks! That is why this year, I decided to start now to change things. I am seeking new people online who will understand what I do and find some company there. 

If you are trying to heal PTSD, it can suck because the people you know have no idea what you are dealing with, so find others who will. Find the support you need with groups or from people who are going through the same thing. Being lonely sucks, but when you are feeling lonely surrounded by others, that loneliness fades and you take some comfort with them while giving it to them as well. Win-win all the way around.

Don't settle on a lonely life when you have the power to change that.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

"I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"

(originally by Hank Williams) 

Did you hear that lonesome whippoorwill?

He sounds too blue to fly

The midnight train is whining low

And I'm so lonesome I could cry 

Did you ever see a night so long

When time goes crawlin' by?

The moon just went behind a cloud

And I'm so lonesome I could cry 

Did you ever see a robin weep

When leaves begin to die?

That means he's lost the will to live

And I'm so lonesome I could cry 

The silence of a fallin' star

Lights up a purple sky

And as I wonder where you are

I'm so lonesome I could cry 

Yeah I-I could cry-eye-eye

I could cry-eye, eye-eye-eye, I-I could cry-eye

I could cry-eye, oh-oh-oh-oh

I-I could cry, I could cry

(AZ Lyrics)

Only the lonely 

Know the way I feel tonight

Only the lonely 

Know this feeling ain't right 

There goes my baby

There goes my heart

They're gone forever

So far apart

But only the lonely

Know why I cry

Only the lonely 

(Oh, oh oh oh oh ooh-ah-ah, only the lonely)

(Only the lonely

Only the lonely

Know the heartaches I've been through 

Only the lonely

Know I cry and cry for you 

Maybe tomorrow

A new romance

No-o-o more sorrow

But that's the chance

You've got to take

If your lonely heart breaks

Only the lonely

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Joe Melson / Roy Orbison

Only the Lonely lyrics © Barbara Orbison Music Company, Roy Orbison Music Company, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., BMG Rights Management 

Giving yourself a gift this year?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

December 25, 2020

Merry Christmas! While it seems there isn't much to be merry about this year, there is if you look for it.

Maybe you didn't get what you wanted, or you were not able to get what someone else wanted. Maybe you have so many worries that feeling as if you are supposed to be celebrating, seems like torture. How do you celebrate Christmas when it feels like just when you thought this year couldn't get any worse....it did?

HOPE! That is what Christmas is supposed to be all about. Listen to the Christmas songs we all grew up with. (Not the funny ones I've been putting up the last few days.) Did you notice that most of them are about hope?

Between the Birth in the manger and the crucifixion on the Cross, Jesus lived a life of awesomeness! We read all about His miracles, but we tend to forget how much He suffered.

He knew what it was like to be hungry.

He knew what it was like to be lonely.

He knew what it was like to feel abandoned.

He knew what it was like to be betrayed.

He knew what it was like to grieve so much He wept.

He knew what it was like to do the right things for the right reasons and be hated for them.

He knew what it was like to be called a liar.

Yet with even more evidence of His suffering, He lived His life serving others, preaching of God's love, performing miracles, giving hope to those who had forgotten what hope in their hearts felt like, and proving to them they were loved!

One of the greatest gifts He gave was teaching them the importance of forgiving.  It was not for the sake of those who hurt Him, or those who hurt you, but more about giving yourself a gift.

Jesus didn't let what others did to Him, stop Him from being true to what He knew was right. He didn't hate those He was willing to die for, even after they betrayed them. He asked His Father to forgive them, because they had no idea what they were doing.

If we hang onto those who hurt us, the wrong done to us, then we rob ourselves of all the good that could replace what is harmful to us. Forgive others and take away the power they retain in your heart. They do don't deserved to remain there. 

Understand that if you are doing the right thing, then it is their problem, not yours. If you did the wrong thing to them, apologize to them. If they accept it, then all is well. If they do not, then it is again their problem. 

If you are having a hard time forgiving, then pray for the strength to do it, because Jesus knows what it is like to be you!