Saturday, February 6, 2021

no time left for you

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 6, 2021 

Did you read the title and think I was done with you? How did it feel? Do you think that maybe it is time you made PTSD feel that way? Go on and hurt its feelings since that is all it has been interested in doing to you!

"Seasons change and so did I...you need not wonder why." People change after surviving trauma, but just like the seasons change, you can change again too.  After all, you already did several times without noticing.

One day you woke up like normal. Later that day, you became a victim of whatever caused PTSD to hit you. Then you changed again the next second when you changed from victim to being a survivor. It happened that fast.

The thing is, you need to notice that you beat "it" the first time because you survived what it tried to do to you. Don't let "it" beat you down now. Tell PTSD you have no more time left for it....this is your time to heal and live a happier life!

No time left for you
On my way to better things
(No time left for you)
I'll find myself some wings (No time left for you)
Distant roads are calling me
(No time left for you)



Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


No Time Left For You
The Guess Who

No time left for you
On my way to better things
(No time left for you)
I'll find myself some wings
(No time left for you)
Distant roads are calling me (No time left for you)
Mm-da, mm-da, mm-da, mm-da, mm-da
No time for a summer friend
No time for the love you send
Seasons change and so did I
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There's no time left for you
No time left for you
No time left for you
On my way to better things
(No time left for you)
I'll find myself some wings (No time left for you)
Distant roads are calling me
(No time left for you)
Mm-da, mm-ga, mm-da, mm-ga, mm-da
No time for a gentle rain
No time for my watch and chain
No time for revolving doors
No time for the killing floor
No time for the killing floor
There's no time left for you
No time left for you
No time for a summer friend
No time for the love you send
Seasons change and so did I
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There's no time left for you
No time left for you
No time, no time, no time, no time
No time, no time, no time, no time
I got, got, got, got no time
I got, got, got, got no time
I got, got, got, got no time
No, no, no, no, no, no, no time
No, no, no, no, no, no, no time
I got, got, got, got no time
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no time
I got no time, got no time, got no time, got no time
Got no time, got no time, got no time

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Burton Cummings / Bachman
No Time lyrics © Shillelagh Music 

No Time (1992) Ringo Starr, Burton Cummings, Joe Walsh and Todd Rundgren at Montreux 

Friday, February 5, 2021

don't regret what you did for love

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 5, 2021

There is something we haven't really covered enough on these daily videos. When you do something out of love, you should never regret it.
There are things in my life I do regret...usually it was about anger. When I acted out of anger, like we all do, it takes up a place in our soul until we ask for forgiveness and then, forgive ourselves. When we do things out of love, and then end up being hurt, that is hard to take.

When my ex-husband tried to kill me, I had to address a long list of things before I could heal. I thought I had to forgive myself for being a fool, loving the wrong person. I worked through that, but I still needed to do more. After a lot of work, I managed to forgive him.

I still wasn't right with it, so I tried to forgive myself all over again. Then it dawned on me that what I did, everything I did for my ex-husband, was the right thing to do. It was his fault he decided to betray that love and me, but it was not wrong for me to love.

After a lot of work, I was able to be ready for my current husband. We've been married over 36 years now. Had I not taken the steps to heal, I wouldn't have been able to love him as much as I do..

That is a lesson most people have to learn. Doing things based on love are never things to regret. Other people make the choices they do to use you or betray you. The thing is, if you don't act on love, then you will have regrets the rest of our life for not trying to do the right thing for the right reason.

Healing PTSD is a lot of work but once you understand how to live with your past and make peace with yourself, then you can move forward to "tomorrow" and be ready to live for love again.

Two videos featured today. One is Shirley Bassey, What I Did For Love and Alive Day with Donna Summer's Song I Will Live For Love.

I opened the garage door today so that you could see the snow coming down and a man stopped to ask me where an address was. Really funny considering I am always giving driving directions on PTSD Patrol. 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD



What I Did For Love
Shirley Bassey

Kiss today goodbye
The sweetness and the sorrow
Wish me luck, the same to you
But I can't regret
What I did for love, what I did for love
Look, my eyes are dry
The gift was ours to borrow
It's as if we always knew
And I won't forget what I did for love
What I did for love
Gone
Love is never gone
As we travel on
Love's what we'll remember
Kiss today goodbye
And point me toward tomorrow
We did what we had to do
Won't forget, can't regret
What I did for love
What I did for love
What I did for love
And I won't forget
What I did for love
Gone
Love is never gone
As we travel on
Love's what we'll remember
Kiss today goodbye
And point me toward tomorrow
We did what we had to do
Won't forget, can't regret
What I did for love
What I did for love
What I did for love
What I did for love

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Marvin Hamlisch / Edward Kleban
What I Did for Love lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Concord Music Publishing LLC 
And for those who served this country they loved!

Alive Day
Kathie Costos
January 2, 2012
Coming home after combat should not be more dangerous but it is. Too many veterans committed suicide today. Be alive today to heal tomorrow. You served because you loved this country and those you served with. Live for love now!

Thursday, February 4, 2021

whatever I'm going through, others did too

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 4, 2021

Last night was one of "those nights" when is was sad. I had a long talk with God and asked for the strength and courage to keep going, doing what I've done all these years. I asked to be able to forgive the people He sent to help me, but ended up just using me and walking away. (You know the feeling...like you just don't matter enough...not good enough...not worth helping.)

Because people don't measure success by what you do, all that matters to them is what you get out of it. Like money and fame. If you don't get paid with something they can see, well then, you are worthless to them. It is just the way it is for too many people.

Yet those who do things for the sake of it, receiving back something no one can see. It is knowing that you didn't give up on someone and changed their lives. You didn't give up because you knew how they felt too.

I wouldn't be able to understand what survivors were going through with PTSD, if I didn't survive many times in my own life. I wouldn't have had a strong desire to learn what my husband was going through because he survived Vietnam, if I had lived through so many times, I wondered why I was not suffering as much as he was. Feeling what others feel, gives all of us a deeper understanding of what they need from us.

I take comfort knowing that whatever I'm going through, others did too. Whatever pain I feel, or loneliness, others felt that way too. I am not alone being left alone.

That is why today the featured video is Pink and Kelly Clarkson from the American Music Awards, Everybody Hurts.
"Everybody Hurts" 
When the day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang on 

Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes 

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (Hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no 

Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you are not alone 

If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts 

No, no, no, no you are not alone

(AZ Lyrics)

The other one is Amy Grant Not Giving Up. I know I used this one a few days ago, but here it is again because I also take comfort knowing that while so many have walked away and given up on me, there are still some who have not given up on me...and they are a blessing in my life.

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

with their memories along for the ride

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 3, 2021

People we love die. Most of us have lost someone, and for some, many people. My husband and I have been to too many funerals. It is hard. Right now there are over 400,000 lives gone to COVID-19, leaving behind countless numbers of people grieving for them. Even more will die in the coming months, leaving more to grieve. No matter how they die, the way we keep their lives alive is to hold onto the memories of them.

This is why today the featured video is Disturbed, Hold On To Memories.

When the new year rolls around, I start to mark dates on the calendar. Birthdays and anniersaries I don't want to forget, but the number of times is less all the time. I want to remember when they were born and not the date they died. I want to remember what was important to them and the good memories we had.

I want to make the most of my life so that I take them with me in all the good I do and hope they are not ashamed of me when I do something wrong.

If you lost someone, honor the loss and grieve for however long you need to. Don't let someone else tell you it is time to stop. This person was in your life and you alone know how much a part of your life they were in.

When anniversary dates or holidays come around, it can be hard without them. Do something to honor them so it will feel as if they are there with you. Have a memory book you write in and put in things that were important to them. Do something they liked to do and call it their day.

"Make the most of the rest of your life" with their memories along for the ride.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD


Hold Onto Memories
Disturbed 

Listen, everyone
The time will come when all of us say goodbye
Feel that aching in your heart
Leaving you broken inside
But we're never really gone
As long as there's a memory in your mind
So now go do the best things in life
Take a bite of this world while you can
Make the most of the rest of your life
Make a ride of this world while you can
Take the ones you love
And hold them close because there is little time
And don't let it break your heart
I know it feels hopeless sometimes
But they're never really gone
As long as there's a memory in your mind
So now go do the best things in life
Take a bite of this world while you can
Make the most of the rest of your life
Make a ride of this world while you can
And hold on to memories
Hold on to every moment
To keep them alive
The world's greatest tragedy
Souls who are not remembered
Cannot survive
So now go do the best things in life
Bring the fight to this world while you can
Make the most of the rest of your life
Shine your light on this world while you can
And hold on to memories
Hold on to every moment
To keep them alive
The world's greatest tragedy
Souls who are not remembered
Cannot survive
And hold on to memories
Hold on to every moment
To keep them alive
The world's greatest tragedy
Souls who are not remembered
Cannot survive (cannot survive)

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Churko Kevin Gregory / Donegan Dan J
Hold On to Memories lyrics © Mother Culture Publishing 

Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Healing place and I want to get there

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 2, 2021

Want to be touched by the sun? Then learn from the greats! The ones who created the road to healing PTSD. Did you know that stated over 40 years ago? They are the ones I learned from and that is how you get there.

Today the featured video is Carly Simon, Touched By The Sun. In the video it shows a long, lonely road but she is on it because she wants to "get there" to be touched by the sun.

Do you want to get there too? To reach a place in the sunshine where your soul feels warm? A place where hope returns and loneliness ends? You'll get there if you have the desire to.

If you are online, on Facebook or in any of the groups dealing with PTSD, and you feel worse, you are in the wrong place. All the doom and gloom does you no good when you need to find hope. Callous responses like, "thoughts and prayers" or "God only gives us what we can handle" is more like a dagger to your soul.

You need to spend time learning the way I did, with experts and facts. While it is easier for you to find answers than it was for me, that is not necessarily a good thing. I had to go to the library and read clinical text books with a dictionary, Now all you need are a few key strokes. If you Google PTSD Support Groups you'll find almost 42 million results. You'd think with that many results, we'd have a much better outcome, but we don't. 


If you want to get out of the darkness, then get a road map first...then you'll get there. 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Touched By The Sun
Carly Simon

If you want to be brave
And reach for the top of the sky
And the farthest point on the horizon
Do you know who you'll meet there
Great soldiers and seafarers,
Artists and dreamers
Who need to be close, close to the light
They need to be in danger of burning by fire
And I, I want to get there
I, I want to be one
One who is touched by the sun,
One who is touched by the sun
Often I want to walk
The safe side of the street
And lull myself to sleep
And dull my pain
But deep down inside I know
I've got to learn from the greats,
Earn my right to be living,
Let my wings of desire
Soar over the night
I need to let them say
"She must have been mad"
And I, I want to get there
I, I want to be one
One who is touched by the sun,
One who is touched by the sun
I've got to learn from the greats,
Earn my right to be living,
With every breath that I take,
Every heartbeat
And I, I want to get there
I, I want to be one, One who is touched by the sun,
One who is touched by the sun.

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Carly Simon
Touched by the Sun lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

A along time ago, I used this song in a video for female veterans...

guide to take back our life

June 26, 2021 The new site for PTSD Patrol  is up and running. New blog posts will begin there on June 27, 2021. This site will remain up.

PTSD Patrol

PTSD Patrol
It is your life, get in and drive it