My soul knows He hears me

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 17, 2021

When we think about miracles, we may remember the miracles in the Bible, but then, forget all the other ones that have happened. Not just throughout history, but in our own lives. Surviving the event that caused PTSD, was a miracle. It is just hard to see it that way when you are suffering. Sometimes you feel as if you are all alone. The thing is, you may have chosen to be by your silence.

We make choices all the time that may prevent us from doing what God wants us to. Pride may stop us from using the gifts He gave us if we put it above what we know is the right thing to do. It keeps us from forgiving others. It stops us from admitting we need help, as much as it stops us from admitting it hurts when we ask people to help us, but they choose to not help us, when we need them to do what we ask them to do.

Yesterday a friend shared a link on Facebook to Carrie Underwood singing How Great Thou Art to an empty theater. It seemed like a strange thing to do, but it was the right thing to do. It was easy to see that she was singing to God and giving Him praise. That got me thinking about how I pray. I pray by myself and speak directly to God. My soul knows He hears me. My life proves He heard my prayers and gave me everything I asked for.

I know that when I am going through difficult times, I talk to God about everything going on within me and then ask Him for what I need. He shows me the way. He knows I want to make a difference, but first He made a difference within me. I do this site all the time but I had no idea why I started it almost 4 years ago. Then I remembered one of my friends, a Pastor I worked with, telling me about a miracle that happened to her.

She was preparing a sermon to be delivered several weeks away. As she was writing it, it went off in a different direction than she had planned. Her soul told her to keep going until it was finished. When the week for that Bible passage came, she delivered the sermon. Some of the regular members of the congregation were confused about it. One woman she had never seen before, reached out her arms, hugged her and whispered, "I needed to hear that." She walked away but my friend knew she did the right thing doing the strange thing. The one person who needed to hear it, did!

Maybe it seems strange to you to pray. Maybe you don't even know how to start.

Matthew 6:5-6
Prayer
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

If you don't know what to say.

Matthew 6:7

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

When we pray, the only one who needs to hear us is God. Speak to Him and it will make it easier to speak to others about what you need. This isn't about converting you or getting you to go to church. The only thing I want to change is getting you to be happier in your own life. Make a miracle in your own life and feel it in your soul.

Once you #BreakTheSilence with God, it makes it easier to do it with people because you will feel no shame asking God and He will show you the way.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

How Great Thou Art

Carrie Underwood

Oh Lord, my God

When I, in awesome wonder

Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder

Thy power throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in

That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing

He bled and died to take away my sin

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart

Then I shall bow, in humble adoration

And then proclaim, my God, how great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Stuart Hine

How Great Thou Art lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, Universal Music Publishing, I Am They Publishing, Manna Music Inc

Carrie Underwood’s performance of “How Great Thou Art” as part of “My Savior: Live From The Ryman.”

Everybody hurts, sometimes

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 16, 2021

When you are hurting, and surrounded by people who are happy, it can make your pain stronger. You may wonder what the hell you did wrong to feel so miserable. You may think about how it would be easy to pretend you are happy too. Then it dawns on you, they may be pretending too. "Everybody hurts, sometimes." This is why the featured video for today is R.E.M. Everybody Hurts.

Sometimes just knowing we are not alone helps ease our pain. Sometimes it takes someone showing us kindness, reminding us that we do matter, that helps. The thing is, once we see that everybody hurts, we realize that everyone is not always what they seem to be.

Members of Congress are starting to talk more about what they went through during the Capitol riot. Think about how many people were there that horrible day. All the members of the Senate and their staff. All the members of the House and their staff. The Capitol police officers and reporters were there too. How many do you think are struggling but are afraid to ask for help because most of the people are hiding their own pain? The ones who are talking are giving the others permission to stop hiding what they are going through.

"This is not something I ever expected to experience — not something that I anticipated," Kildee said. "But I'm just really grateful we connected and I got help when I needed it the most."

On Twitter afterwards, the lawmaker recognized many people deal with PTSD "quietly, privately, painfully, silently and alone."

"Too often, there is a stigma attached with seeking help," Kildee wrote. "That needs to change."

 

Congressman Has Been Seeing Therapist to Treat PTSD from U.S. Capitol Attack: ‘Thought I Was Fine’ "Too often, there is a stigma attached with seeking help," Michigan Rep. Dan Kildee tweeted after he shared his experience in an interview with NBC Nightly News PEOPLE By Sean Neumann April 13, 2021

Most people with PTSD struggle with struggling. It is almost as if they admit they are not OK, others will feel sorry for them, or think they are weak, defective in some way. The thing is not wanting them to worry about you, isn't rational because they already are worried about you. If they know you, then they know you are not acting like "you" and are probably already worried about you. They'll worry because you are not telling them you need help, or even trust them enough to talk to them.

Needing help and wanting it are two different things. No one wants to go through something like the attack on the Capitol. No one wants to have to suffer after it was over. No one wants to wake up in the middle of the night from terrible nightmares, or see it all come back in flashbacks. No one wants to push people out of their lives at the same time they need them in it. No one wants panic attacks, mood swings, paranoia, rage or sadness so deep they no longer find joy in anything. No one wants to drink themself into mindless numbness so they stop feeling everything. No one wants their kids to be afraid of a parent during a overreaction to everything that happens, or to blame themselves because they think it is their fault it is happening.

So, is it you don't need help, or you don't want to ask for it? If you have that going on in your life, then why in the hell wouldn't you want help?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Everybody Hurts

R.E.M.

When your day is long

And the night, the night is yours alone

When you're sure you've had enough

Of this life, well hang on

Don't let yourself go

'Cause everybody cries

Everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong

Now it's time to sing along

When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)

If you feel like letting go (hold on)

If you think you've had too much

Of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts

Take comfort in your friends

Everybody hurts

Don't throw your hand, oh no

Don't throw your hand

If you feel like you're alone

No, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life

The days and nights are long

When you think you've had too much

Of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes

Everybody cries

Everybody hurts, sometimes

And everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on

Hold on, hold on, hold on

Hold on, hold on, hold on

Everybody hurts

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mills / Berry / Buck / Stipe

Everybody Hurts lyrics © Night Garden Music

Calling all angels

Wounded Times

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 15, 2021

Today my heart is broken. Two reports about the suicides in the military and veterans community reminded me of the reason I had to give up working with both groups after 38 years. I could not fight alone anymore. Telling the truth and saying what had to be said to save their lives was no longer possible without ripping my heart out on and daily basis.

Despite Congress' efforts and an ever-rising VA budget, there's no evidence the federal government has put a dent in the veteran suicide crisis, with the VA's data showing little change in the suicide numbers each year. (Military.com)

Military suicides are also higher. "The report from the Department of Defense shows our military saw a spike in people taking their own lives. In total, 377 active duty troops took their own life in 2020, across all branches of the military. This is an increase of 8% from the same time in 2019." but when you actually read the report, you notice that the numbers in the following article do not include the 194 "Reserve Components" that are included in the Department of Defense Suicide Report. 511, which has been consistently the average since 2012. If you find that hard to believe, since the media hasn't told you that part, then look at the whole chart on the link and add the two totals together.

"Your mental health impacts more than just you, it impacts everybody around you. And those are things we have to be aware of. You may not want to get help for you but what about for your daughter or for your son. What about for your mother or your brother who has to deal with the things that you were going through," said Williams." (Porsche Williams, the founder of Restore Life Global WUSA9 News)

It became all too clear that the only groups getting support were ranting about "raising awareness" that they were killing themselves. No plans, no facts, just saying it was happening and they ended up getting all the support while leaving people reminded that others gave up too. As if that was going to work when they needed reasons to get up in the morning. They needed hope and they needed the truth, but these groups did not have a clue what they were talking about...but they sure knew how to get attention for themselves.

I do not want to be contacted by one more group wanting money for what they do with results like this. No one should be giving them any attention at all when the results has proven over and over again, hasn't "put a dent in the crisis."

I asked for help from many groups and offered to let them take the credit for what I was willing to show them how to do. They turned me down. Over and over again, I tried to contact members of Congress but they would not listen. I wrote and wrote even more, but thousands of articles later, none of them did much good. Wounded Times has over 4.8 million page views, yet there are few people telling the truth about what has been going on. I have over 700 videos on YouTube and few bother to watch them or share them. 

I am willing to get back into this fight again but only if angels decide to fight with me. I won't fight this alone again. My heart cannot take it. I know what it is like to save lives and trust me, if I can do it, it isn't rocket science. It requires knowledge and doing it for the right reasons. I am calling on angels to help me this time, so all of us can help them heal.

Calling All Angels

Train 

I need a sign to let me know you're here

All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere

I need to know that things are gonna look up

'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head

When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I need a sign to let me know you're here

'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear

I want a reason for the way things have to be

I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don't disappear

While private eyes solve marriage lies 'cause we don't talk for years

And football teams are kissing Queens and losing sight of having dreams

In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: James Stafford / Scott Underwood / Pat Monahan / Charles Colin

Calling All Angels lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

I started doing videos on PTSD in 2006. The first suicide awareness I did was in 2007 because I thought all that people needed to save lives, was to know it was happening. Putting the video and post together, ripped my heart out, but it was important. I wrote a book about suicides tied to military in 2013 proving all the money and "efforts" did not work, and why they did not work. It didn't do any good.

I did the video Alive Day in 2012 when the reports started coming out. This is what they need to know and this is how we do it!

If you are raising awareness about them killing themselves, you are part of the reason they are gone!

And you know you can survive

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 14, 2021

"And you know you can survive" are some powerful words to hear when you don't think you can. When everyone you know will not, or cannot, offer you any hope or support, those words empower you to do more than just survive. They let you know you have the power to do that!

Today the featured video is Mariah Carey, Hero. If you ended up with PTSD because of your job, risking your life for others, or sacrificing for the sake of others, you already know what a hero is, but you are the last one to claim that title for yourself. If you have PTSD because of your "job" then it was much more than a just a job. It was your vocation. Average people do not take those jobs. You are above average.

I used this song in a video from a long time ago, PTSD Hero After War for members of the military, with I'll Stand By You from The Pretenders. In this war against PTSD, you can also be a hero to someone else fighting their own war to reclaim their life. Once you heal, you can stand by them and show them the way. You can encourage them when they have no courage left. You can empower them when they cannot find enough power to get up out of bed.

If your job caused it, understand that humans are not built to withstand the constant onslaught of traumatic events. Most of the people you risked your life for, ended up with PTSD from the event you responded to...one event for them but it was one of many for you.

The thing is, as human as you are, if God put it into your soul to do that kind of job, He also equipped you with everything you need to heal from it. It is built into your emotional core and that core is stronger than others, or you wouldn't have been able to do that job for more than a little while. Most of the people I worked with over the years, had done the "job" for many years and faced so many events they were not even sure which one hit them the hardest.

Now think about what kind of hero you can be to others just by telling your story and sharing your own struggles with them. You are not done serving others even if you had to give up the job that caused PTSD. There are over 8 million Americans with PTSD, that is known about. There are many more who have it by have no idea what it is going on with them and they have not sought out help. You can reach them to and encourage them to seek help to take back their lives from PTSD too.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Hero

Mariah Carey

There's a hero

If you look inside your heart

You don't have to be afraid

Of what you are

There's an answer

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

It's a long road

When you face the world alone

No one reaches out a hand

For you to hold

You can find love

If you search within yourself

And that emptiness you felt

Will disappear

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you, oh, oh

Lord knows

Dreams are hard to follow

But don't let anyone

Tear them away, hey yeah

Hold on

There will be tomorrow

In time you'll find the way

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

That a hero lies in you

Mmm, that a hero lies in you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Mariah Carey / Walter Afanasieff

Hero lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Royalty Network 

PTSD Hero After War

If PTSD had an anthem...it should be HELP!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 12, 2021

Most people start singing a song whenever they hear it. They can't help it. It makes them happy to sing it. It is as infectious as it was when it was released in 1965! The song, naturally is the Beatles HELP! It was so popular, they even had a movie with that title. So why is it so much easier for everyone to sing that song, than it is to do it?

If PTSD had an anthem, it should be HELP! How much clearer does it have to be? Why the hell should anyone have a problem asking for help when they need it but have no problem, if they can carry a tune or not, to sing this song loud and clear? Has that ever dawned on anyone?

"And now my life has changed in oh so many ways"

Isn't that what having PTSD is like? Your life does change in so many ways. The thing is, getting help can change your life for the better. Wouldn't it make more sense to actually ask for help to be happier, than it is to settle for being happy singing this song for a few minutes? 

Common sense needs to come back into the conversation we've been having about PTSD because we're all tied of hearing the doom and gloom. All that has done is tell us that we should never expect to be happy again. Where is the hope in that? Someone said that asking for help is a sign of weakness but all that meant was the hope the had was weak and they wanted everyone else to be miserable too!

Isn't it time to stop singing the same tune and start asking someone for help in real life? Someone who can actually help you? Asking for help is normal. It is human. Won't you please, please, ask for help when you need it?

UPDATE I am adding closed captioning to the videos.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

HELP

The Beatles

I need somebody

(Help!) not just anybody

(Help!) you know I need someone

Help!

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured (but now these days are gone)

(And now I find) Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways (and now my life has changed)

My independence seems to vanish in the haze

But every now and then I feel so insecure (I know that I)

I know that I just need you like I've never done before

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger, so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured (but now these days are gone)

(And now I find) now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, ooh

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney

Help! lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Downtown Music Publishing

and the movie HELP