Why search for something after you found it?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 19, 2021


Why search for something after you found it? Maybe you need to because you think you lost it. If that is the case, then why did you lose it? Did you actually lose it? If the thing you lost is more than a thing, but is a person, that can be very rough. It isn't as if you can go out and replace the person with a duplicate. They will never be the same person you lost. This is why today the featured video is I'll Never Find Another You by The Seekers.

Many people came into and went out of my life for a lot of reasons. Some stayed in my life for decades. Some passed away. The fact is, none of them really left me. Each one changed me by adding something to my life or, taking something out of it. The truth is, looking back, I know I gained something from even the ones who hurt me. It made me love those who added to my life more deeply and appreciated them even more than I would have if I had never been hurt.

Is there someone in your life you love and loves you? You were brougt together for a reason. If you are suffering because of PTSD and it is a heavier burden than you can carry on your own, then you risk losing them. You are actually pushing them out of your life by not sharing what you feel. 

How many times have you read about a couple married for 50, 60 or 70 years and wonder how they did it? They did it because they shared their lives. All the good and all the bad and they stood by one another supporting them, because that is what love does. Does it mean it will be prefect? No, but it does mean it is strong. Isn't it time that you figured out you will never be able to find another one of "them" no matter what you do? If you do the right thing and trust them, share your burden with them, you won't have to look to replace them...because you won't lose them.

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I'll Never Find Another You

The Seekers

There's a new world somewhere

They call the promised land

And I'll be there someday

If you could hold my hand

I still need you there beside me

No matter what I do

For I know I'll never find another you

There is always someone

For each of us, they say

And you'll be my someone 

Forever and a day

I could search the whole world over

Until my life is through

But I know I'll never find another you

It's a long, long journey

So stay by my side

When I walk through the storm 

You'll be my guide, be my guide

If they gave me a fortune

My pleasure would be small

I could lose it all tomorrow

And never mind at all

But if I should lose your love, dear

I don't know what I'd do

For I know I'll never find another you

But if I should lose your love, dear

I don't know what I'd do

For I know I'll never find another you

Another you, another you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Tom Springfield

I'll Never Find Another You lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Make Someday Today

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 18, 2021

"Let's rewrite an ending that fits." Those words are from Nickelback Someday. If you've been saying that someday you'll get over what #PTSD is doing to you, how long have you been saying it? Someday you'll do something to change. How long are you willing to wait? How long do you think you'll try it the way it hasn't worked before you try another way? Someday?

How about you make someday today? The longer you take to decide it is time to #TakeBackYourLife, the more damage is done. Not just to you, but the people in your life are paying a price too. I've heard enough people say that they thought about committing suicide so they would stop being so unhappy and making everyone else in their family unhappy. It wasn't until they decided suicide would make their family take on a burden of pain they would be paying for with the rest of their lives. So much better to do what it takes to heal, than cover up you never really did from the event you survived.

So if you make changing your goal starting today, then tomorrow you can "rewrite an ending that fits." If you ever saw someone with PTSD at their worst, and then saw them after they healed, it is a beautiful thing to see. It is a testament to the human spirit and what can be accomplished, especially in someone who survived the thing that caused PTSD to hit them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence

Someday

Nickelback

How the hell'd we wind up like this?

And why weren't we able

To see the signs that we missed?

Try and turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists

And unpack your suitcase

Lately there's been too much of this

But don't think it's too late

Nothing's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

Well, I'd hope that since we're here anyway

We could end up saying

Things we've always needed to say

So we could end up staying

Now the story's played out like this

Just like a paperback novel

Let's rewrite an ending that fits

Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

How the hell'd we wind up like this?

And why weren't we able

To see the signs that we missed?

Try and turn the tables

Now the story's played out like this

Just like a paperback novel

Let's rewrite an ending that fits

Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow

I'm gonna make it alright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

I know you're wondering when

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Chad Kroeger / Michael Kroeger / Ryan Peake / Ryan Vikedal

Someday lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

My soul knows He hears me

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 17, 2021

When we think about miracles, we may remember the miracles in the Bible, but then, forget all the other ones that have happened. Not just throughout history, but in our own lives. Surviving the event that caused PTSD, was a miracle. It is just hard to see it that way when you are suffering. Sometimes you feel as if you are all alone. The thing is, you may have chosen to be by your silence.

We make choices all the time that may prevent us from doing what God wants us to. Pride may stop us from using the gifts He gave us if we put it above what we know is the right thing to do. It keeps us from forgiving others. It stops us from admitting we need help, as much as it stops us from admitting it hurts when we ask people to help us, but they choose to not help us, when we need them to do what we ask them to do.

Yesterday a friend shared a link on Facebook to Carrie Underwood singing How Great Thou Art to an empty theater. It seemed like a strange thing to do, but it was the right thing to do. It was easy to see that she was singing to God and giving Him praise. That got me thinking about how I pray. I pray by myself and speak directly to God. My soul knows He hears me. My life proves He heard my prayers and gave me everything I asked for.

I know that when I am going through difficult times, I talk to God about everything going on within me and then ask Him for what I need. He shows me the way. He knows I want to make a difference, but first He made a difference within me. I do this site all the time but I had no idea why I started it almost 4 years ago. Then I remembered one of my friends, a Pastor I worked with, telling me about a miracle that happened to her.

She was preparing a sermon to be delivered several weeks away. As she was writing it, it went off in a different direction than she had planned. Her soul told her to keep going until it was finished. When the week for that Bible passage came, she delivered the sermon. Some of the regular members of the congregation were confused about it. One woman she had never seen before, reached out her arms, hugged her and whispered, "I needed to hear that." She walked away but my friend knew she did the right thing doing the strange thing. The one person who needed to hear it, did!

Maybe it seems strange to you to pray. Maybe you don't even know how to start.

Matthew 6:5-6
Prayer
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

If you don't know what to say.

Matthew 6:7

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

When we pray, the only one who needs to hear us is God. Speak to Him and it will make it easier to speak to others about what you need. This isn't about converting you or getting you to go to church. The only thing I want to change is getting you to be happier in your own life. Make a miracle in your own life and feel it in your soul.

Once you #BreakTheSilence with God, it makes it easier to do it with people because you will feel no shame asking God and He will show you the way.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

How Great Thou Art

Carrie Underwood

Oh Lord, my God

When I, in awesome wonder

Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder

Thy power throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in

That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing

He bled and died to take away my sin

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart

Then I shall bow, in humble adoration

And then proclaim, my God, how great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

How great Thou art, how great Thou art

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Stuart Hine

How Great Thou Art lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, Universal Music Publishing, I Am They Publishing, Manna Music Inc

Carrie Underwood’s performance of “How Great Thou Art” as part of “My Savior: Live From The Ryman.”

Everybody hurts, sometimes

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 16, 2021

When you are hurting, and surrounded by people who are happy, it can make your pain stronger. You may wonder what the hell you did wrong to feel so miserable. You may think about how it would be easy to pretend you are happy too. Then it dawns on you, they may be pretending too. "Everybody hurts, sometimes." This is why the featured video for today is R.E.M. Everybody Hurts.

Sometimes just knowing we are not alone helps ease our pain. Sometimes it takes someone showing us kindness, reminding us that we do matter, that helps. The thing is, once we see that everybody hurts, we realize that everyone is not always what they seem to be.

Members of Congress are starting to talk more about what they went through during the Capitol riot. Think about how many people were there that horrible day. All the members of the Senate and their staff. All the members of the House and their staff. The Capitol police officers and reporters were there too. How many do you think are struggling but are afraid to ask for help because most of the people are hiding their own pain? The ones who are talking are giving the others permission to stop hiding what they are going through.

"This is not something I ever expected to experience — not something that I anticipated," Kildee said. "But I'm just really grateful we connected and I got help when I needed it the most."

On Twitter afterwards, the lawmaker recognized many people deal with PTSD "quietly, privately, painfully, silently and alone."

"Too often, there is a stigma attached with seeking help," Kildee wrote. "That needs to change."

 

Congressman Has Been Seeing Therapist to Treat PTSD from U.S. Capitol Attack: ‘Thought I Was Fine’ "Too often, there is a stigma attached with seeking help," Michigan Rep. Dan Kildee tweeted after he shared his experience in an interview with NBC Nightly News PEOPLE By Sean Neumann April 13, 2021

Most people with PTSD struggle with struggling. It is almost as if they admit they are not OK, others will feel sorry for them, or think they are weak, defective in some way. The thing is not wanting them to worry about you, isn't rational because they already are worried about you. If they know you, then they know you are not acting like "you" and are probably already worried about you. They'll worry because you are not telling them you need help, or even trust them enough to talk to them.

Needing help and wanting it are two different things. No one wants to go through something like the attack on the Capitol. No one wants to have to suffer after it was over. No one wants to wake up in the middle of the night from terrible nightmares, or see it all come back in flashbacks. No one wants to push people out of their lives at the same time they need them in it. No one wants panic attacks, mood swings, paranoia, rage or sadness so deep they no longer find joy in anything. No one wants to drink themself into mindless numbness so they stop feeling everything. No one wants their kids to be afraid of a parent during a overreaction to everything that happens, or to blame themselves because they think it is their fault it is happening.

So, is it you don't need help, or you don't want to ask for it? If you have that going on in your life, then why in the hell wouldn't you want help?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Everybody Hurts

R.E.M.

When your day is long

And the night, the night is yours alone

When you're sure you've had enough

Of this life, well hang on

Don't let yourself go

'Cause everybody cries

Everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong

Now it's time to sing along

When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)

If you feel like letting go (hold on)

If you think you've had too much

Of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts

Take comfort in your friends

Everybody hurts

Don't throw your hand, oh no

Don't throw your hand

If you feel like you're alone

No, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life

The days and nights are long

When you think you've had too much

Of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes

Everybody cries

Everybody hurts, sometimes

And everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on

Hold on, hold on, hold on

Hold on, hold on, hold on

Everybody hurts

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mills / Berry / Buck / Stipe

Everybody Hurts lyrics © Night Garden Music

Calling all angels

Wounded Times

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 15, 2021

Today my heart is broken. Two reports about the suicides in the military and veterans community reminded me of the reason I had to give up working with both groups after 38 years. I could not fight alone anymore. Telling the truth and saying what had to be said to save their lives was no longer possible without ripping my heart out on and daily basis.

Despite Congress' efforts and an ever-rising VA budget, there's no evidence the federal government has put a dent in the veteran suicide crisis, with the VA's data showing little change in the suicide numbers each year. (Military.com)

Military suicides are also higher. "The report from the Department of Defense shows our military saw a spike in people taking their own lives. In total, 377 active duty troops took their own life in 2020, across all branches of the military. This is an increase of 8% from the same time in 2019." but when you actually read the report, you notice that the numbers in the following article do not include the 194 "Reserve Components" that are included in the Department of Defense Suicide Report. 511, which has been consistently the average since 2012. If you find that hard to believe, since the media hasn't told you that part, then look at the whole chart on the link and add the two totals together.

"Your mental health impacts more than just you, it impacts everybody around you. And those are things we have to be aware of. You may not want to get help for you but what about for your daughter or for your son. What about for your mother or your brother who has to deal with the things that you were going through," said Williams." (Porsche Williams, the founder of Restore Life Global WUSA9 News)

It became all too clear that the only groups getting support were ranting about "raising awareness" that they were killing themselves. No plans, no facts, just saying it was happening and they ended up getting all the support while leaving people reminded that others gave up too. As if that was going to work when they needed reasons to get up in the morning. They needed hope and they needed the truth, but these groups did not have a clue what they were talking about...but they sure knew how to get attention for themselves.

I do not want to be contacted by one more group wanting money for what they do with results like this. No one should be giving them any attention at all when the results has proven over and over again, hasn't "put a dent in the crisis."

I asked for help from many groups and offered to let them take the credit for what I was willing to show them how to do. They turned me down. Over and over again, I tried to contact members of Congress but they would not listen. I wrote and wrote even more, but thousands of articles later, none of them did much good. Wounded Times has over 4.8 million page views, yet there are few people telling the truth about what has been going on. I have over 700 videos on YouTube and few bother to watch them or share them. 

I am willing to get back into this fight again but only if angels decide to fight with me. I won't fight this alone again. My heart cannot take it. I know what it is like to save lives and trust me, if I can do it, it isn't rocket science. It requires knowledge and doing it for the right reasons. I am calling on angels to help me this time, so all of us can help them heal.

Calling All Angels

Train 

I need a sign to let me know you're here

All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere

I need to know that things are gonna look up

'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head

When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I need a sign to let me know you're here

'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear

I want a reason for the way things have to be

I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don't disappear

While private eyes solve marriage lies 'cause we don't talk for years

And football teams are kissing Queens and losing sight of having dreams

In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: James Stafford / Scott Underwood / Pat Monahan / Charles Colin

Calling All Angels lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

I started doing videos on PTSD in 2006. The first suicide awareness I did was in 2007 because I thought all that people needed to save lives, was to know it was happening. Putting the video and post together, ripped my heart out, but it was important. I wrote a book about suicides tied to military in 2013 proving all the money and "efforts" did not work, and why they did not work. It didn't do any good.

I did the video Alive Day in 2012 when the reports started coming out. This is what they need to know and this is how we do it!

If you are raising awareness about them killing themselves, you are part of the reason they are gone!