Sunday, May 30, 2021

Thank Vietnam Veterans for healing #PTSD

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 30, 2021

Every Memorial Day, I cry more than most people. Almost everyone thinks about the lives lost during wars, but few think about all those who died because of the wars they fought. It also grieves me that most Americans fighting their own battles with PTSD, have no clue that the help they receive, was created because Vietnam Veterans came home and fought for all of it.

While I got involved almost forty years ago, the Afghanistan and Iraq veterans ended up getting all the attention because their generation was coming home, suffering, and committing suicide. The problem was, the majority of the veteran suicides known, were mostly over the age of fifty. In other words, pre-9 11 veterans, but few seemed to care.

In 2015 I did a video with Mike and the Mechanics song The Living Years. Vietnam Veterans Remembered was to let them know that someone was paying attention to what was still happening to them.
When I lived in Florida, I always recorded the escort of the Wall going into Wickham Park. I used that footage along with images from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan because of the lyrics of the song. Too many forget that war they fought and too many do not know they are still fighting it.
"So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past"
No Vietnam veteran wants to take away from the newer generations. They took a vow to fight for all generations. The thing is, they don't want to be pushed aside. It should never be one generation being helped while sacrificing the other generations.

Once in a while I go back through some old emails. This is from 2006 about the book I wrote, For The Love Of Jack. I wrote it about our generation before 2001 and then self published it to help the newer generation that would follow them, and their families. That is something I learned from them...to fight for all generations.
Thank you so much for sharing your pain and story, You have helped me with my family and you dont even know it....As I read your story I was sitting there realising that you were talking about me in so many ways...the way I had become and the way I was headed. And Yes I am a combat Vet, from a long line of vets.......if I could just find out why there is no answers...........But I wanted to say thank you.......

Let the images sink in on this video because the pictures from Afghanistan and Iraq were the only ones people seemed to care about, but the older generations waited longer, suffered longer and still fought for the newer generation so that they would not end up like them.

The thing is, my generation is still fighting so that the newer generation does not have to suffer instead of healing the wounds they carried for far too long. We are retiring and dying off but doing all we can "in the living years."

When Vietnam veterans came home and fought for all the research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they were concentrating on what happens to those who fight the wars for this country. They had no clue that their efforts would end up helping everyone with PTSD. If you have PTSD and are getting help to heal, and you see a Vietnam veteran, say "thank you" to them because you have the hope of healing because of them.


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Living Years
Song by Mike + The Mechanics

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door
I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Oh, crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got
You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence
Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye
So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts
So don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up, and don't give in
You may just be okay
So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye
I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye
So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud)
Say it clear (come on say it clear)

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: B.A. Robertson / Mike Rutherford (gb)
The Living Years lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Take your passion and make it happen

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 29, 2021

"First when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream, that your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind." The featured video today is What A Feeling from Flashdance. Listening to this song made me very happy because I've been thinking a lot about retiring. Next year, it will be forty years since I had a dream of making things better for people with PTSD. That's a long time for anyone!

I feel so much better thinking about it now because of one of the groups I discovered, using music, a message and trying to save people from suicide. Sounds Of Saving is doing the work I do and doing it a lot better than I ever could.
Songs that save lives
Music has been clinically proven to have a positive impact on mental health. The right song can affect our psychobiological stress system and create feelings of motivation, happiness and relaxation.
We think the world should know that music can fight mental illness.

"Take your passion and make it happen." That is what came into my head when I was reading and listening to what they are doing. When you are passionate about something, share it. If you are an artist and find a new way of doing something, do it. You may not be the best artist, but you can inpsire a better one and the beauty gets out into the world. You may love to write but never had the support or someone to publicize your work (been there and done that) but your words can inspire others and the world changes.

I often think about all the others who were involved with defeating PTSD long before me and wonder how they feel about what ended up happening because of "slow glowing dream" of healing they started when there was nothing before they came along.

The goal is to save lives and help people find a new way to live, healing instead of suffering. With Sounds Of Saving out there, along with a lot of other groups, they will make it happen.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 
Flashdance...What A Feeling
Irene Cara 

First when there's nothing
But a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide
Deep inside your mind
All alone I have cried
Silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel
Made of stone
Well, I hear the music
Close my eyes, feel the rhythm
Wrap around, take a hold of my heart
What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)
I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life
Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)
Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life
Now I know, I got the chance
To reach the top, is so intense
In a world made of steel
Made of stone
Now I hear the music
Close my eyes I am rhythm
In a flash it takes hold
Of my heart
What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)
I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life
Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)
Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life
I feel the passion, deep inside
I got strength, I got pride
In a world made of steel
Made of stone
Dancing, till the end of this night
Like now or never, got strength and pride
When I feel the music I'm losing control
Of my mind, my body, my heart and my soul
Let's go, make this dream come true
For me and for you, we can dance right through
You can have it all, there's no price to pay
Your feelings will show you the way
What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)
I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life
Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)
Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life
What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)
What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)
What a feeling 
I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life
What a feeling

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Irene Cara / Giorgio Moroder / Keith Forsey
Flashdance...What A Feeling lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

Friday, May 28, 2021

For all the brave and the souls who went before us

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 28 2021

It is Memorial Day weekend and I always get reflective. My Dad and all my uncles, first generation Americans, fought in 2 wars. My husband's Dad and uncles, also first generation Americans, fought in WWII, and he fought in Vietnam.

They were all raised to understand how important it was to fight for something they believed in. They believed in this country. Each one of them paid a price for their service. Some of them lost buddies. Each year, we would go to parades and cemeteries to acknowledge their service. When I was young, I never thought about the day when I would to go cemeteries to visit their graves.

There is so much we can learn by what they did and what they did it for.  They did it for each other, for their families and for the future. Please forgive me if the reflections I have had over the last few months bother you but considering how the majority of the American people feel, I am no different.

While this nation seems to be one way, the truth is, only some are. Those who want answers and accountability, are the majority, but for years everyone assumed I was a Republican because I associated with them in veterans groups. I never felt free to say what I believed. My job was to help veterans and families with PTSD and I was forced to put that first.

I had to listen to them saying how much they hated Democrats. Tell all kinds of lies they believed were true and then pretend that they were not political when they wanted new members.

The thing is, my Dad, my uncles were all Democrats. My Mom and aunts were. Yet I had to hear what the people I spent so much time with actually thought about the people I loved the most....sad. I had to listen to them talk about how much they would have hated the people I loved...and how much they would have hated me. 

No matter what I did to help people, including them, none of that mattered as soon as I stopped being silent and said what I thought. None of them ever thought about how what they said all those years hurt me, or made me feel. 

This is why today the featured video is Change, Christina Aguilera.

If you have PTSD, especially if you have PTSD, taking back your life means being able to speak your mind. Being free to express yourself is a real freedom and generation after generation of men and women risked their lives to protect that right. Some of them were Republican and some, like my family, were Democrats. None of that mattered when they were serving side by side and willing to die for those they were with. Today, somehow that changed into something I no longer recognize as such, especially after what happened at the Senate today when only 6 Republicans voted for the investigation into what happened when the Capital itself was attacked.

Freedom is empowering, but only if you use it. So when you hear someone in your life, talk about how much they hate, talk about those you loved and honor that love. Do it "for all the brave souls who went before us" and then, if necessary, walk away from them. You do not need that kind of oppression in your life.  There was a time when I would have said to just set the political divide aside, but those days are long gone. One day, we may return to a time when differences made us stronger because we valued each other instead of constantly hearing how much we are hated for what we believe.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
This is how you #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife 




Change
Christina Aguilera

When I was young I would look in the mirror
Didn't know it then but now it couldn't be clearer
I remember being filled with such wonder
Before learning that the world could be harsher
Who
Who you love or the color of your skin
Or the place that you were born and grew up in
Shouldn't decide how you will be treated
Cause we're all the same when everybody's breathing
Waiting for a change to set us free
Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me
Waiting for hope to come around
Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found
Waiting for a change,
Waiting for a change
Change, change...
For all the brave and the souls who went before us
Stand tall be proud and lift your voices
Let 'em know who we are and our choices
And one day we won't have to sing this chorus
Waiting for a change to set us free
Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me
Waiting for hope to come around
Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found
Waiting for a change,
Waiting for a change
Change, change...
Hold on
Waiting for a change
Change
When I was young I would look in the mirror
Didn't see it then but now it couldn't be clearer

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Christina Aguilera / Martin Terefe / Jake Hagood / Florian Reutter
Change lyrics © West Eight Music Publishing, Super Big Music 

If GOP Senators block investigation of Capitol attack, remember all of it

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 28, 2021


Yesterday Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick's Mother paid a visit to GOP members of the Senate begging them to vote for the investigation as to who was behind the attack so that people would be held accountable for what they did leading to his death, and injuries of the other officers, and the threat that is still hanging over all of them that it can happen again.

If Republicans refuse to have the investigation into the Capitol attack, remember their names as much as we remember what they already said.

"There is no question, done, that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the event of the day." That is what Mitch McConnell said before he tried to explain why he voted against impeaching Trump for it.

One by one, Republicans who were repulsed by what happened, on that horrible day, decided that it was time to just move on and forget about it. What made all of this worse, is what they ended up doing and saying afterwards. Now, they are trying to block holding people accountable for it by investigating exactly what happened. That is what is owed to the American people and all those who serve the people in the People's House.

“If you didn't know that TV footage was a video from January the sixth, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit.” Rep. Andrew Clyde

“As one of the members who stayed in the Capitol, and on the House floor, who with other Republican colleagues helped barricade the door until almost 3 p.m. from the mob who tried to enter, I can tell you the House floor was never breached and it was not an insurrection. This is the truth,” Clyde claimed.

Does that mean he does that on a normal basis for normal tourists?
Republican loyal to Trump claims Capitol riot looked more like 'normal tourist visit' The comments by Rep. Andrew Clyde, R-Ga., during a House Oversight Committee marked the latest attempt by some Republicans to revise the narrative around the deadly Capitol riot.


UPDATE: The votes are in. It failed because only 6 Republican Senators voted for it...you can read more on ABC
Democrats needed 10 Republicans to join them to overcome the GOP filibuster but only Sens. Mitt Romney of Utah, Susan Collins of Maine, Murkowski of Alaska, Ben Sasse of Nebraska, Rob Portman of Ohio and Bill Cassidy of Louisiana voted to advance the legislation.

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

I see myself in a brand new way

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 26, 2021

No one can change a damn thing that has already happened. The only thing in our power is to change what we do about it afterwards. There are many things that can eat away at us, but not being able to predict the future should not be one of them.

I was reading about Bernie and Phyl's daughter Pepe blaming herself for Bernie dying of COVID-19 last year. She stayed with her parents to look after them when things started shutting down. Pepe is going through what a lot of people are, blaming themselves for something they had very little control over.

None of us are super humans. Whatever you think you could have done, or how many scenarios you come up with in your own mind, none of them are humanly possible.

Pepe, like most of the world, was just learning about what the pandemic could do and how it would do it. Nothing can take away the guilt she feels until she forgives herself for doing the best she could, with what she knew, at the time she knew it. Researchers and people were just trying to figure out this new pandemic, so most people knew very little about it.

If you have PTSD, a lot of the time you are also dealing with survivor guilt. That is a heavy load to carry. Much too heavy for anyone and it is time you put it down. That burden is one that should have never been laid upon your shoulders. Besides, you have things to do with the rest of your life to be the best person you can be after surviving.

Stop trying to figure out why you lived but others didn't. That is a question that you'll never be able to answer and was not something that you had control over. You do control what you do with your life.

Heal and be better. Be happier and then pass it all onto someone else who feels just as beaten down as you do. Lift them up. Spend the rest of your life making this world a little better than it would have been without you.

Pepe is doing that. She is speaking out so that other families who lost someone to COVID-19, can find support and gain strength knowing they are not alone. With almost 600,000 lives lost, that is a lot of families who need to know that message!

Today the featured video is Boston Don't Look Back. It is time to see yourself in a brand new way!


Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
‘A living nightmare’: Daughter of Bernie and Phyllis Rubin struggling with guilt after unwittingly exposing parents to coronavirus
WHDH 7 News
BY KIMBERLY BOOKMAN
MAY 25, 2021
It was March of last year and the entire family was in south Florida for Phyls 80th birthday party. Pepe said she decided to stay and care for her parents as the country started to shut down. She said she believes she contracted the virus at a grocery store and then spread it to her parents.

Her 82-year old father — who in life was surrounded by people — died in a hospital bed by himself.

“Knowing what a tragic ending he had alone – and us not being there – it was just a living nightmare,” said Pepe.

She met 7NEWS at the company’s headquarters in Norton — where sports memorabilia line the walls.

Bernie’s office is just how he left it, filled with photos of his wife, three kids, 10 grandchildren, and one great-grandchild.

Pepe said his death had her walking around in a fog for the last year.

“One of my daughters said to me ‘We know we lost our grandfather but we didn’t realize we lost you too because I deal with a lot of anxiety…and guilt,” she said.  
Now that the country is reopening and life is resuming for so many, Pepe said she is forever changed. read more here

Don't Look Back
Boston

Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'
It's been too long since I felt this way
I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken
The road is callin', today is the day
I can see, it took so long just to realize
I'm much too strong not to compromise
Now I see what I am is holding me down
I'll turn it around
Oh, yes, I will
I finally see the dawn arrivin'
I see beyond the road I'm drivin'
It's a bright horizon, ooh, and I'm awaken
I see myself in a brand new way
The sun is shinin', ooh, the clouds are breakin'
'Cause I can't lose now, there's no game to play
I can tell there's no more time left to criticize
I've seen what I could not recognize
Everything in my life was leading me on
But I can be strong
Oh, yes I can
I finally see the dawn arrivin'
I see beyond the road I'm drivin'
Ooh, far away, I'm left behind, left behind
Oh, the sun is shining
And I'm on that road
Don't look back, ooh, a new day is breakin'
It's been so long since I felt this way
I don't mind, ooh, where I get taken
The road is callin', today is the day
I can see, it took so long just to realize
I'm much too strong not to compromise
Now I see what I am is holding me down
I'll turn it around
Oh, yes I will
I finally see the dawn arrivin'
I see beyond the road I'm drivin'
I'm far away and left behind
Don't look back
Don't look back
Don't look back
Don't look back

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Scholz Tom
Don’t Look Back lyrics © Pure Songs, Hideaway Hits

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June 26, 2021 The new site for PTSD Patrol  is up and running. New blog posts will begin there on June 27, 2021. This site will remain up.

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It is your life, get in and drive it