Why not be a hero to yourself again?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 10, 2021

Why not fight for yourself instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you? You know "you" better than anyone else does. You know what you felt like before you were hit by what caused PTSD and you know what it felt like afterwards. Time for a hero to rush to rescue you and you're in luck...she's already there!

Today the featured video is about waiting for a hero. What about you? Why wait for someone who is already there? The truth is, if you have PTSD, you fought for your life and won, or you wouldn't have survived. Why not be a hero to yourself again?

Bonnie Taylor's song, Holding Out For A Hero had me thinking about a lot of women I've known over the years. All of them could stand on their own two feet and were perfectly happy living their own lives, their way. Sure they wanted to share their lives with someone but had no intention of settling for anything or anyone. 

So what are you holding out for now?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Holding Out for a Hero

Bonnie Tyler

Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods

Where's the streetwise Hercules

To fight the rising odds

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed

Late at night I toss and I turn

And I dream of what I need

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night

He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the morning light

He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

Larger than life

Somewhere after midnight

In my wildest fantasy

Somewhere just beyond my reach

There's someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat

It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night

He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the morning light

He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above

Out where the lightning splits the sea

I could swear there is someone somewhere watching me

Through the wind and the chill and the rain

And the storm and the flood

I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night

He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the morning light

He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night

He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the morning light

He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Jim Steinman / Dean Pitchford 

Your career is to help others...but not yourself?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 7, 2021

We haven't had a video for responders for a while and considering this is Mental Health Month, it is a good time to do it. Put everything you think about PTSD for a few minutes. Your job is to help people. Why wouldn't you want to ask for help for yourself? It makes no sense at all.

Today the featured video is Little River Band, Help Is On Its Way. Those five words give hope that whatever horrible thing you are going through, will stop being horrible.

Think about the people you rush to help. They survived something that could have killed them and many times, they need help to stay alive. Hearing help is on the way, lets them know it is about to get better. They can end up with PTSD from the event you had to respond to. It only takes that one time too many, and sometimes it is just one time that did it, but their lives change. For me, I survived over 10 of them. Most of the time, responders had to come and help me. If you can understand what the event could do to us, then why can't you understand what all the ones you were involved with could do to you?

Your career is to help others...but not yourself? Why? Are you ashamed of being human and surviving all those events? I have to tell you that after all these years of working with people with PTSD, I am not ashamed of any of them. I am not ashamed of what they turned around and did with their lives after they received help. I am not ashamed of my husband. I am not even ashamed of myself, after finally discovering that what I went through was PTSD too, just a different form of it. Why would you be ashamed of needing help when helping is your job?

Don't you think the people you work with would risk their lives to save you, the same way you'd risk your life for their sake? Then how could you doubt they would listen to you when you need to talk? On the flip side, if you don't have PTSD but someone you work with may, why aren't you finding out all you can about PTSD so you can help them? Any idea how they will feel when they know that help is on the way for them and the horrible times will get better? 

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Help Is on Its Way

Little River Band

Why are you in so such hurry?

Is it really worth the worry?

Look around, then slow down

What's it like inside the bubble?

Does your head ever give you trouble?

It's no sin, trade it in

Hang on, help is on its way

I'll be there as fast as I can

"Hang on", a tiny voice did say

From somewhere deep inside the inner man

Are you always in confusion?

Surrounded by illusion?

Sort it out, you'll make out

Seem to make a good beginning

Someone else ends up winning

Don't seem fair, don't you care?

Hang on, help is on its way

I'll be there as fast as I can

"Hang on", a tiny voice did say

From somewhere deep inside the inner man

Don't you forget who'll take care of you

It don't matter what you do

Form a duet, let him sing melody

You'll provide the harmony

Why are you in so such hurry?

Is it really worth the worry?

Look around, then slow down

What's it like inside the bubble?

Does your head ever give you trouble?

It's no sin, trade it in

Hang on, help is on its way

I'll be there as fast as I can

"Hang on", a tiny voice did say

From somewhere deep inside the inner man

Hang on, help is on its way

I'll be there as fast as I can

"Hang on", a tiny voice did say

From somewhere deep inside the inner man

Help is on its way

Help is on its way

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Glenn Barrie Shorrock

Help Is on Its Way lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

But everyone just runs away

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 6, 2021

Cross posted on Wounded Times

No matter how many times people walked away from you, one day someone will help you. One day someone will show you the way and stand by your side until you get to where you need to be. Then you will become that "someone" for someone else. Don't give up. Don't give in. Fight like hell because you are worth it!

If you were not, then I wouldn't have been doing this work for almost 40 years with all the crap I have to go through to do the right thing. No matter what I faced, you were worth it!

Today there almost wasn't a video. I didn't have it in me to do one. I was actually online looking for something for myself. I discovered my work stolen again. It happens to me all the time and I am powerless to stop them from doing it. Sometimes they will put my name on it, other times they won't but for some reason they think they can just take it without my knowledge or permission.

I found the video that put into words exactly what I was feeling and it helped. It is from Five Finger Death Punch, Darkness Settles In. When I heard these lines, I cried. The thing is, it just got uploaded 15 hours ago!

It's like I'm holding all the aces

But I know I'll never win

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

The people I know who would help me, cannot help me on this. The ones who can help, I reach out to but they are not interested in helping me at all. The thing is, I am on the right side of this, doing the work for the right reasons and nothing is going to stop me. Screw the bastards. I know one day will come and they will be seen for who and what they truly are. I may not be alive to see it but I know I have the power over what I do and no one can take that way.

If you have PTSD then you know what it is like to tell death "screw you" and you lived because your life was worth it to you. You had no control over what happened but have the power to change what comes now. I'll be damned if I let the darkness settle in on my life. Don't let it settle in on your life either.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Darkness Settles In

Five Finger Death Punch 

Another sun sets down behind me

Another day comes crashing in

There's a whispering wind that's blowing

There's a storm that's closing in

I can hear the trains, they're rolling

To a place I've never been

And I can feel her breath beside me

With an empty glass of gin

As the darkness settles in

I can hear her voice again

I can hear your voice again

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

Waiting for someone to change me

But no one ever comes

I'm breaking down the walls that cage me

But nothing ever falls in place

Waiting for the end to take me

Blinded by the sun

All the ghosts that live inside me

Always waiting in the wind

I can see through my reflection

What I've become and what I've been

You see, your Heaven doesn't want me

And your Hell won't let me in

It's like I'm holding all the aces

But I know I'll never win

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

Waiting for someone to change me

But no one ever comes

I'm breaking down the walls that cage me

But nothing ever falls in place

Waiting for the end to take me

Blinded by the sun

You can take it away, tear it all down

Spit in my face, pushed to the ground

Look what I've become

I've fallen from grace, bloodied and bound

Taking up space, lost and I'm found

Look what I've become

I can hear the snakes, they're winding

Singing songs of pain and sin

There's an anger overflowing

From this empty glass of gin

As the darkness settles in

And the darkness settles in

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

Waiting for someone to change me

But no one ever comes

I'm breaking down the walls that cage me

But nothing ever falls in place

Waiting for the end to take me

Blinded by the sun

And the darkness settles in

(You can take it away)

And the darkness settles in

(You can take it away)

As the darkness settles in

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Ivan Moody / Zoltan Bathory / Kevin Churko / Jason Hook

Darkness Settles In lyrics © Gumpofwump 

Show me the way

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 4, 2021

When you are alone and lost, what do you do? You pray to be shown the way out. If you are with someone, and they can figure it out, that is wonderful. What if they are just as lost as you are? Then both of you need to be shown the way out.

There are things I pray for, that only God can do. There are things I pray for, that I know I have to do. When that is my job, I pray God shows me the way. The fact is, I am not smart enough to do or say a lot of things that come out of me. The only place they can come from is God. That is why the featured song is Styx, Show Me The Way. I found it on YouTube this morning.

Show Me The Way

Styx 

Every night I say a prayer in the hope that there's a heaven

And every day I'm more confused as the saints turn into sinners

All the heroes and legends I knew as a child have fallen to idols of clay

And I feel this empty place inside so afraid that I've lost my faith

Show me the way, show me the way

Take me tonight to the river

And wash my illusions away

Show me the way

And as I slowly drift to sleep, for a moment dreams are sacred

I close my eyes and know there's peace in a world so filled with hatred

That I wake up each morning and turn on the news to find we've so far to go

And I keep on hoping for a sign, so afraid that I just won't know

Show me the way, Show me the way

Bring me tonight to the mountain

And take my confusion away

And show me the way

And if I see your light, should I believe

Tell me how will I know

Show me the way, show me the way

Take me tonight to the river

And wash my illusions away

Show me the way, show me the way

Give me the strength and the courage

To believe that I'll get there someday

And please show me the way

Every night I say a prayer

In the hope that there's a heaven

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dennis Deyoung

Show Me the Way lyrics © Wixen Music Publishing

When I listened to the lyrics, it was as if God hit the play button. I have no doubt there is a Heaven. I've seen too many miracles in my lifetime to think otherwise. I have seen average people, step up over and over again, changing lives and healing the sick. That drive inside of them, to even contemplate some of those jobs, was in there from the start and was carried within their souls. God showed them the way.

I know there are times when someone needs help and I don't have a clue what I should say to comfort them. All of a sudden, the words come and they know things will get better for them. I know the answer came from God. Does He speak to my soul? I don't know but I do know I am not smart enough to figure it would on my own.

PTSD Patrol started out to show you the way out of hopelessness and how to get to the help you need. To give you comfort so you know that you are not alone and don't have to stay feeling like you are lost. To let you know that you do have the power within you to #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD. 

I knew a long time ago it had to be done by taking care of your mind, body and your spirit. That is how miracles happen. I also learned a long time ago, that when we ask to be shown the way out of whatever mess we're in, we need to get our egos out of the way. I get lost a lot of times too and I don't know what to do. I need Him to guide me, especially, as my daughter says, I get lost getting out of a paper bag.

Pray for the big things you do not have the power to do, like what evil and horrible people do. You will know God is real when they either lose their power to do more harm, or they are changed. Pray for what you need inside of you, and it will be delivered. Pray for God to show you the way and be willing to follow where He leads you.

Remember, it is your life...get and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

But the fighter still remains

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 3, 2021

"Still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest." Those words are from today's featured video, Simon and Garfunkel, The Boxer. It is a song about not giving up, no matter how many times you get knocked down.

What is it you want to hear? You probably want to hear that life can get better. That you are a fighter too.

"In the clearing stands a boxer

And a fighter by his trade

And he carries the reminders

Of every glove that laid him down

And cut him till he cried out

In his anger and his shame

"I am leaving, I am leaving"

But the fighter still remains, he's still remains"

What you should disregard is anything telling you to "deal with it" or "give up" or "get over it" because if you survived whatever cause PTSD, then you did because you fought to do it. You didn't give up then and don't have to give up now. You didn't survive whatever it was on your own and you don't have to fight against it by yourself now.

This song always reminds me of people fighting PTSD. You carry the reminder of what caused PTSD and tried to knock you down. It is time to kick its ass!

"After changes upon changes

We are more or less the same"

Most of "who" you were before PTSD, is still all there. PTSD is change and you can change again for the better if you fight to take back your life.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Boxer

Simon and Garfunkel 

The Concert in Central Park 

I am just a poor boy

Though my story's seldom told

I have squandered my resistance

For a pocketful of mumbles

Such are promises

All lies and jest

Still, a man hears what he wants to hear

And disregards the rest

When I left my home and my family

I was no more than a boy

In the company of strangers

In the quiet of the railway station

Running scared

Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters

Where the ragged people go

Looking for the places only they would know

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie

Asking only workman's wages

I come looking for a job

But I get no offers

Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue

I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome

I took some comfort there

La-la-la-la-la-la-la

Now the years are rolling by me

They are rocking evenly

And I am older than I once was

And younger than I'll be

But that's not unusual

No, it isn't strange

After changes upon changes

We are more or less the same

After changes we are

More or less the same

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie

Then I'm laying out my winter clothes

Wishing I was gone

Going home

Where the New York City winters aren't bleeding me

Leading me

To going home

In the clearing stands a boxer

And a fighter by his trade

And he carries the reminders

Of every glove that laid him down

And cut him till he cried out

In his anger and his shame

"I am leaving, I am leaving"

But the fighter still remains, he's still remains

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie

Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie

Thank you, good night

Thank you, thanks

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Edmund John Simons / Thomas Owen Mostyn Rowlands / Timothy Allan Burgess

The Boxer lyrics © Paul Simon Music, Warner/chappell Music Ltd 

head is a mess and need time to just decompress

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 30, 2021

Sometimes you just have to take a day when you need to take care of you. Days when you don't want to do anything other than rest. We all have those days, with or without PTSD. This is why today the featured video is Five Finger Death Punch I'm A Bit Little Off Today. 

Part of the lyrics is telling people to just F-off. Obviously when you are having those off days, the last thing you want is for someone to be expecting you to do something you just don't have in you to do. On those days, I want a pajama day! I want to take care of me and I don't want to do the video or the post for the day. Finding anything inspirational to say when I don't even want to brush my hair or teeth just seems futile..and torturous for me.

I don't want to be the go to person, or the one who gets things done, fixes anything, takes care of anything or anyone but myself. My head is a mess and I need time to just decompress, so I do. I give into it once in a while. Then I regain strength and come out stronger.

I had to discover that after many attempts to just push through it and recovery back to my usual self took longer. Now I know better. My head and my body, just like my spirit, know when rest is needed. So does yours. Give into it but don't make it a habit.

The other thing is, if you have been healing and, like most, you turn around trying to help someone else, you need to know that everyone is not willing to do the work. They just want someone to listen to them and not willing to change or fix a damn thing in their life.

I had that happen a few times over the years. I remember working with a civilian at the time I was just working with veterans and their families. He had PTSD from a fatal car accident, but I agreed to help him anyway. I got him to understand what PTSD was and then he agreed to get professional help but he only did it for a little while. The only time he contacted me was when he was in crisis and I'd spend hours on the phone with him. He'd agree to do what I suggested but by the next time he called in crisis, it was clear he didn't do a damn thing.

I felt sorry for him because everyone in his life walked away, and then I understood why they did. By the 30th phone call, I told him I couldn't help him anymore. I was just an average person and he was ripping my heart out. There is only so much help I could give him and only so much I am capable of doing. The only thing he really followed through with was going to get the financial help I sent him to. He got pissed off at me, but the last time I heard from him, he did get help from a professional... finally.

That was how I learned to just say enough is enough. When I saw the video from this song, that was what I related to. Just taking some time for myself for the rest of the day, doing take-out for dinner and putting my PJ's back on! You need to do that too for yourself once in a while.

 

So, yes, you do need to take some time to take care of you when you are "a little bit off" and need to.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I'm a little bit off today

Five Finger Death Punch

I'm a little bit off today, something down inside me's different

Woke up a little off today, I can tell that something's wrong

I'm a little thrown off today, there's something going on inside me

I'm a little bit off today, a little bit off today

(I'm a little bit off today, a little bit off)

See, I'm a little bit off today, I cannot put my finger on it

Got up a little off today, just to play that same old song

I don't really wanna try today, I see nothing in my reflection

I'm a little bit dry today, feel like I could die today

Feel like I could die today

Hey yeah, hey yeah

Hey yeah, don't ya know? (I'm a little bit off)

Hey yeah, hey yeah

Hey, you gotta let it go (I'm a little, just a little bit off)

I'm a little pissed off today and there ain't nothing you can do about it

I'm a little put off today and I could not tell you why

Got a really short fuse today, everyone around me's fucking crazy

I'm a little ticked off today, a little pissed off today

(I'm a little bit off today)

I told a little white lie today, I smiled and told someone I loved them

I had to say goodbye today to someone that I love

I couldn't even cry today, I think my heart is finally broken

Didn't need a reason why today, I don't need a reason why today

Hey yeah, hey yeah

Hey yeah, don't ya know? (I'm a little bit off)

Hey yeah, hey yeah

Hey, you gotta let it go (I'm a little, just a little bit off)

I got a little too high today, got lost inside a sea of madness

Crashed a little bit hard today, crashed a little too hard today

Everybody sing

Hey yeah, hey yeah

Hey yeah, don't ya know? (I'm a little bit off)

Hey yeah, hey yeah

Hey, you gotta let it go (I'm a little, just a little bit off)

Hey, you gotta let it go (I'm a little, just a little bit off)

I'm a little bit off today

Something down inside me feels so different

Just a little bit off today

You can all fuck off today

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Ivan Moody / Jason Hook / Kevin Churko / Zoltan Bathory

A Little Bit Off lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 

when you have PTSD some songs have wrong message for you

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 29, 2021

Someone suggested Wilson Phillips Hold On. The only thing I could think, was they didn't listen to the lyrics. If they did, then they'd know this song is not helpful, even though it is popular. The song was perfect for the movie Brides Maids because the main character messed up her own life but when you have PTSD it is the wrong message for you.

The song is a good song and I like listening to it but mission of PTSD Patrol is to help you understand what PTSD is and how much power you have over it. The songs are carefully chosen to deliver the message of the day. I read the lyrics and search to find an offical video for the post. Sometimes it is about helping you hear what you feel when you cannot find the words to express them. Other times it is to change your mood. Other times it is to offer comfort and let you know that no one is happy all the time. Mostly it is about making it feel a lot better living your life as a survivor of whatever caused PTSD.

I really appreciate song suggestions. The only music I listen to are from the 70's, 80's and 90's. I'm old and I don't really listen to new music. When people send suggestions, I end up with great songs like the ones from Disturbed Sound of Silence and Five Finger Death Punch Wrong Side of Heaven. Please keep them coming if they help you with PTSD.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Hold On

Wilson Phillips

I know there's pain (I know there's pain)

Why do you lock yourself up in these chains? (These chains)

No one can change your life except for you

Don't ever let anyone step all over you

Just open your heart and your mind (Mmm)

Is it really fair to feel, this way inside? (Woah)

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye

Until then, baby, are you going to let 'em hold you down and make you cry?

Don't you know? Don't you know, things can change

Things'll go your way

If you Hold On for one more day

Can you Hold On for one more day?

Things'll go your way

Hold On for one more day

You could sustain (You could sustain)

Hm, or are you comfortable with the pain?

You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness (No, baby)

You got yourself into your own mess (Ooh)

Lettin' your worries pass you by (Lettin' your worries pass you by)

Baby, don't you think it's worth your time

To change your mind? (No, no)

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye

Until then, baby, are you going to let 'em hold you down and make you cry?

Don't you know? Don't you know, things can change

Things'll go your way

If you Hold On for one more day

Can you Hold On for one more day?

Things'll go your way (Oh, things'll go your way)

Hold On for one more day

I know that there is pain, but you

Hold On for one more day, and ya

Break free from the chains

Yeah I know that there is pain, but you

Hold On for one more day, and ya

Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye (and say goodbye)

Until then, baby, are you going to let 'em hold you down and make you cry?

Don't you know? Don't you know, things can change (Know)

Things'll go your way

If you Hold On for one more day, yeah

If you Hold On

Don't you know, things could change

Things could go your way

If you Hold On for one more day

Can you Hold On

Can you Hold On

Mmm, can you Hold On, baby

Won't you tell me now

Hold On for one more day, 'cause

It's gonna go your way

Don't you know, things could change

Things could go your way

If you Hold On for one more day, yeah

Can't you change it this time

Make up your mind

Hold On, Hold On

Baby Hold On

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Ballard Glen / Phillips Chynna / Wilson Carnie

Hold On lyrics © Universal Music Corp., Duchess Music Corp., Arlovol Music, Mca Music Publishing, A.d.o. Universal Studios 

What I feel has come and gone before

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 26, 2021

It is a wonderful feeling when the person who loves you, understands you. There is no need to explain something to them, because you've already done that and they remember what you said. Knowing you don't have to hide your emotions from them and they will still love you.

Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you

Nice to know somebody loves me

Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do

Run and find the one who loves me (the one who loves me)

What I feel has come and gone before

No need to talk it out (talk it out)

We know what it's all about

This is why the featured video today is The Carpenters Rainy Days And Mondays.

Is there a certain time of the year when you are not yourself? Are there certain weeks when you are having a harder time than usual? Are there times when nightmares and flashbacks are worse without any of your known triggers? Think about when it hit you before. Then think about what happened to you before during that time of your life. Most of the time, it is an anniversary date your mind remembers.

There are many times during the year when I am not my usual self. I don't want to talk. I am usually not hungry during those days and I want to stay in bed. I am not consciously aware of the connection between a date from my past and haunting feeling of dread. The thing that caused all of it is hard wired in my brain and it remembers the day "it" happened, even if I chose to forget it. No one can explain something you don't understand until you understand the thing itself.

Most people have a hard time finding the words to explain things to worried people who love us. Maybe you can explain it to them once, so they understand, and then have a code word for when it comes back. Tell them it is a Monday, since most people get that Monday's suck. Tell them it is a "blue day" for you since most people also understand that too. After all, they have days when they feel blue too.

You need your space. They need to know that it has nothing to do with them or anything they did. As much as you may like to avoid having conversations about what is going on with you, there are people in your life who need to know for their own sake.

Most relationships fell apart because there was too much that was not said. It left people wondering and then searching for reasons followed by blaming what made sense to them. Communication prevents all that from happening.

When in doubt, no matter what happens in your life, always wonder how you would feel if someone was acting a certain way, and what you would want them to do to ease your mind. It works and then you'll be able to experience not making them wonder what's wrong because you already know your relationship is strong...and they already know.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Rainy Days And Mondays

The Carpenters

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old

Sometimes I'd like to quit

Nothin' ever seems to fit

Hangin' around

Nothin' to do but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues

Nothin' is really wrong

Feelin' like I don't belong

Walkin' around

Some kind of lonely clown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you

Nice to know somebody loves me

Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do

Run and find the one who loves me (the one who loves me)

What I feel has come and gone before

No need to talk it out (talk it out)

We know what it's all about

Hangin' around (hangin' around)

Nothin' to do but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do (only thing to do)

Run and find the one who loves me (ooh)

What I feel has come and gone before

No need to talk it out (to talk it out)

We know what it's all about

Hangin' around (hangin' around)

Nothin' to do but frown 

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Hangin' around (hangin' around)

Nothin' to do but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get

Me down

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Paul H. Williams / Roger S. Nichols

Rainy Days and Mondays lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

Carpenters - Rainy Days And Mondays (Official Video) 

but normal never really existed

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 25, 2021

Why would anyone want to go back to normal? Normal accomplished nothing. Imagine if the first humans settled for "normal" they wouldn't have hunted, gotten into caves or started fires. Someone had to think that things had to change.

Hundreds of thousands of years ago, around 62 miles west of what would eventually become Marrakesh, a group of people lived in a cave overlooking a lush Moroccan landscape. They rested there, building fires to keep themselves warm. They hunted there, sharpening stone tools to bring down animals. And they died there, leaving their bones behind in the dirt. At the time, there would have been nothing particularly notable about these cave-dwellers. They were yet more Homo sapiens, members of a nascent ape species that had spread across Africa. But in their death, they have become singularly important.

“The new finds indicate that Homo sapiens is much older and had already spread across all of Africa by 300,000 years ago. They really show that the African story of our species was more complex than what we used to think.”

The Atlantic

Everything we do and have in our time, exists because people were not satisfied with normal. The food we eat, stated with someone wondering what it would taste like. Had no one invented fire, then eating raw meat could have killed them off. The clothes we wear started with ancient people killing animals, eating the meat, using their bones for tools and their hides for shelter, just as they used their fur for clothing. All the became normal for a while. Then someone else thought of something else to improve what was acceptable. Changing became normal.

Mankind wouldn't have gone from using fire and living in caves, to smart homes with everything electrical operating everything to make our lives easier, had it not been for the desire to change. We wouldn't have gone from walking everywhere, to riding horses, to buggies, to automobiles, trains and planes, if they accepted what was normal.

You may have convinced yourself that normal was working for you before you survived whatever caused PTSD. When you really think about it, you realize that you kept changing things. Changed from being a dependent infant, to adult and in control over your own life. You changed from student to worker and the chances are, you had many jobs because you needed a change...or were forced to. You went from one relationship and friendship to others. It is for sure you are still not wearing the same clothes you were when you were an infant. How many times have you changed the style? How many times have you changed your hairs style? Change is normal.

When you have PTSD, it is also change. Your life changed from what was acceptable for you, to victim, to survivor within seconds. Normal may be something you convinced yourself is something you want to go back to, but normal never really existed. It was habits you felt comfortable with doing. Are you comfortable with your habits now?

The really great thing about humans is they share how to do things. They have an idea that starts with need and then they make it happen. They pass it on and then someone else has a better idea. That pass on that so that others discover their discovery. Life gets easier for everyone until that becomes normal for a while and then, change comes again.

Even you can change again by learning from those who were not satisfied with what everyone else thought was impossible to change. People have been suffering traumatic events since the beginning of time and they paid the price after they survived it. It took someone talk about it and someone else to wonder why, before someone else discovered how to make life better. Now we know that wanting to go back to "normal" is a waste of time. It is far better to want to have a better than normal life.

Mankind's earliest literature tells us that a significant proportion of military casualties are psychological, and that witnessing death can leave chronic psychological symptoms. As we are reminded in Deuteronomy 20:1-9, military leaders have long been aware that many soldiers must be removed from the frontline because of nervous breakdown, which is often contagious: When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou... the officers shall say, What man is there that is fearful and fainthearted? Let him go and return unto his house, lest his brethren's heart faint as well as his heart. (King Jame's Version ) PubMed Center

That is when the journey from before trauma to after it was documented. Research has been going on for far too long to ignore how dissatisfied people were with accepting it as normal to them. If it is not acceptable to you, then discover as much as you can, then think about how to change it again. How can you change your life, so you can pass it on to others? If you already did, then how did you do it? Everything that started throughout the history of man, has been shared and change, "change is gonna come" again.

Today the featured video is Sam Cooke, Change Is Gonna Come.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

A Change Is Gonna Come

Sam Cooke

I was born by the river, in a little tent

Oh, and just like the river

I've been running ever since

It's been a long

A long time coming

But I know a change gonna come

Oh, yes it will

It's been too hard living

But I'm afraid to die

'Cause I don't know what's up there

Beyond the sky

It's been a long

A long time coming

But I know a change gonna come

Oh, yes it will

I go to the movie

And I go downtown

Somebody keep telling me

Don't hang around

It's been a long

A long time coming

But I know, a change gonna come

Oh, yes it will

Then I go to my brother

And I say, brother, help me please

But he winds up, knockin' me

Back down on my knees

Oh, there been times that I thought

I couldn't last for long

But now I think I'm able, to carry on

It's been a long

A long time coming

But I know a change gonna come

Oh, yes it will

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Sam Cooke 

Legacy of Healing PTSD From My Dad

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 22, 2021

When I think about my Dad, I often wonder how he'd feel if he knew what he started back in 1982. All these later, the number of lives changed because he served in Korea and he never knew about them. I am a living legacy to him and his life.

About a week ago, I received a strange message on Facebook from a man claiming to have pictures of my Dad in Korea. He wrote things that had to be true, so I called him. His Dad served with mine. The twist to the story is that his Dad probably never knew he had a son born in Korea. Yesterday he sent me pictures I had never seen before and I thought about my Dad a lot more than usual.

My Mom and oldest brother went to stay with him when he was in Japan.

We were a normal family. Both of my brothers were born on Army bases. He was a Staff Sergeant. He left the Army before I was born but I was a typical Army brat. I also grew up with uncles who served in WWII. That was all normal to me. I didn't discover it was not usual to have a family full of veterans, or that having living room furniture from Japan was odd, until I was older.

When I met my current husband, I was already divorced and only 23. The night he met my husband, he said, "He seems like a really nice guy but he's got shell shock." My husband is a Vietnam veteran. I had no idea what he was talking about and when I asked him to explain it, he told me to go to the library because war changes people.

I spent all my free time at the library with clinical books and a dictionary, learning as much as I could. The more I learned, the more I fell in love. Not just with the man I would end up marrying, but loved my Dad more and all veterans. Now they call it PTSD.

My Dad started what turned out to be my life's work. Thousands of articles, books, videos, several websites and more, all started because of my Dad's life in the Army. Over the years, I've had many messages thanking me for what I do and to pass appreciation on to my husband for his service. I just wanted you to know, that had it not been for my Dad, I don't think any of this would have started.

This is why today the featured video is, Dan Fogelberg, The Leader Of The Band.

If you've sent me emails thanking me for what I do, and thanking my husband for his service, I wanted you to know that none of this would have happened if my Dad didn't understand what he saw in my husband. It is a good reminder that we never know how much we do change the world when we are willing to do what we can, when we can, when we are willing to try.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Leader of the Band / Washington Post March

Dan Fogelberg

An only child

Alone and wild

A cabinet maker's son

His hands were meant

For different work

And his heart was known

To none --

He left his home

And went his lone

And solitary way

And he gave to me

A gift I know I never

Can repay

A quiet man of music

Denied a simpler fate

He tried to be a soldier once

But his music wouldn't wait

He earned his love

Through discipline

A thundering, velvet hand

His gentle means of sculpting souls

Took me years to understand.

The leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through

My instrument

And his song is in my soul --

My life has been a poor attempt

To imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy

To the leader of the band.

My brothers' lives were

Different

For they heard another call

One went to Chicago

And the other to St. Paul

And I'm in Colorado

When I'm not in some hotel

Living out this life I've chose

And come to know so well.

I thank you for the music

And your stories of the road

I thank you for the freedom

When it came my time to go --

I thank you for the kindness

And the times when you got tough

And, pap, I don't think I

Said 'I love you' near enough --

The leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through

My instrument

And his song is in my soul --

My life has been a poor attempt

To imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy

To the leader of the band

I am the living legacy

To the leader of the band.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dan Fogelberg

Leader of the Band / Washington Post March lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Why search for something after you found it?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 19, 2021


Why search for something after you found it? Maybe you need to because you think you lost it. If that is the case, then why did you lose it? Did you actually lose it? If the thing you lost is more than a thing, but is a person, that can be very rough. It isn't as if you can go out and replace the person with a duplicate. They will never be the same person you lost. This is why today the featured video is I'll Never Find Another You by The Seekers.

Many people came into and went out of my life for a lot of reasons. Some stayed in my life for decades. Some passed away. The fact is, none of them really left me. Each one changed me by adding something to my life or, taking something out of it. The truth is, looking back, I know I gained something from even the ones who hurt me. It made me love those who added to my life more deeply and appreciated them even more than I would have if I had never been hurt.

Is there someone in your life you love and loves you? You were brougt together for a reason. If you are suffering because of PTSD and it is a heavier burden than you can carry on your own, then you risk losing them. You are actually pushing them out of your life by not sharing what you feel. 

How many times have you read about a couple married for 50, 60 or 70 years and wonder how they did it? They did it because they shared their lives. All the good and all the bad and they stood by one another supporting them, because that is what love does. Does it mean it will be prefect? No, but it does mean it is strong. Isn't it time that you figured out you will never be able to find another one of "them" no matter what you do? If you do the right thing and trust them, share your burden with them, you won't have to look to replace them...because you won't lose them.

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I'll Never Find Another You

The Seekers

There's a new world somewhere

They call the promised land

And I'll be there someday

If you could hold my hand

I still need you there beside me

No matter what I do

For I know I'll never find another you

There is always someone

For each of us, they say

And you'll be my someone 

Forever and a day

I could search the whole world over

Until my life is through

But I know I'll never find another you

It's a long, long journey

So stay by my side

When I walk through the storm 

You'll be my guide, be my guide

If they gave me a fortune

My pleasure would be small

I could lose it all tomorrow

And never mind at all

But if I should lose your love, dear

I don't know what I'd do

For I know I'll never find another you

But if I should lose your love, dear

I don't know what I'd do

For I know I'll never find another you

Another you, another you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Tom Springfield

I'll Never Find Another You lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Everybody hurts, sometimes

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 16, 2021

When you are hurting, and surrounded by people who are happy, it can make your pain stronger. You may wonder what the hell you did wrong to feel so miserable. You may think about how it would be easy to pretend you are happy too. Then it dawns on you, they may be pretending too. "Everybody hurts, sometimes." This is why the featured video for today is R.E.M. Everybody Hurts.

Sometimes just knowing we are not alone helps ease our pain. Sometimes it takes someone showing us kindness, reminding us that we do matter, that helps. The thing is, once we see that everybody hurts, we realize that everyone is not always what they seem to be.

Members of Congress are starting to talk more about what they went through during the Capitol riot. Think about how many people were there that horrible day. All the members of the Senate and their staff. All the members of the House and their staff. The Capitol police officers and reporters were there too. How many do you think are struggling but are afraid to ask for help because most of the people are hiding their own pain? The ones who are talking are giving the others permission to stop hiding what they are going through.

"This is not something I ever expected to experience — not something that I anticipated," Kildee said. "But I'm just really grateful we connected and I got help when I needed it the most."

On Twitter afterwards, the lawmaker recognized many people deal with PTSD "quietly, privately, painfully, silently and alone."

"Too often, there is a stigma attached with seeking help," Kildee wrote. "That needs to change."

 

Congressman Has Been Seeing Therapist to Treat PTSD from U.S. Capitol Attack: ‘Thought I Was Fine’ "Too often, there is a stigma attached with seeking help," Michigan Rep. Dan Kildee tweeted after he shared his experience in an interview with NBC Nightly News PEOPLE By Sean Neumann April 13, 2021

Most people with PTSD struggle with struggling. It is almost as if they admit they are not OK, others will feel sorry for them, or think they are weak, defective in some way. The thing is not wanting them to worry about you, isn't rational because they already are worried about you. If they know you, then they know you are not acting like "you" and are probably already worried about you. They'll worry because you are not telling them you need help, or even trust them enough to talk to them.

Needing help and wanting it are two different things. No one wants to go through something like the attack on the Capitol. No one wants to have to suffer after it was over. No one wants to wake up in the middle of the night from terrible nightmares, or see it all come back in flashbacks. No one wants to push people out of their lives at the same time they need them in it. No one wants panic attacks, mood swings, paranoia, rage or sadness so deep they no longer find joy in anything. No one wants to drink themself into mindless numbness so they stop feeling everything. No one wants their kids to be afraid of a parent during a overreaction to everything that happens, or to blame themselves because they think it is their fault it is happening.

So, is it you don't need help, or you don't want to ask for it? If you have that going on in your life, then why in the hell wouldn't you want help?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Everybody Hurts

R.E.M.

When your day is long

And the night, the night is yours alone

When you're sure you've had enough

Of this life, well hang on

Don't let yourself go

'Cause everybody cries

Everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong

Now it's time to sing along

When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)

If you feel like letting go (hold on)

If you think you've had too much

Of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts

Take comfort in your friends

Everybody hurts

Don't throw your hand, oh no

Don't throw your hand

If you feel like you're alone

No, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life

The days and nights are long

When you think you've had too much

Of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes

Everybody cries

Everybody hurts, sometimes

And everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on

Hold on, hold on, hold on

Hold on, hold on, hold on

Everybody hurts

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mills / Berry / Buck / Stipe

Everybody Hurts lyrics © Night Garden Music